:lol:

come on guys...

i was laughing my ass off as i typed that...

it was an absurd foray into how easily this crap can turn bad, as well as just a hilariously exaggerated story... well hilarious for me anyway...

"the audience roared with laughter and applause..."????

i mean come on...

i thought for SURE everyone would get the joke after that...

the 2nd time i went to see 'The Crying Game' in the theatre, a friend bought the ticket for the repeat so i would go... well about a third of the way through the film i stood up, pulled down my pants, and shouted out:

"She's got one of these!!!!" while pointing at my penis.

the audience roared with laughter and applause...

good times...

5 pages in and I'm still waiting for the funny one-liners. :sad:

:lol:

awesome...

SURE you're not related to ...

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/6...ingliarjk0.jpg

lighten up Francis...

the 2nd time i went to see 'The Empire Strikes Back' in the theatre, a friend bought the ticket for the repeat so i would go... well about a third of the way through the film i stood up and shouted out:

Darth Vader is Luke's father!!! that's why the force is so strong with Luke, and Vader senses it!!! Obi Wan was lying to protect Luke from the truth!!! they are father and son!!! and Luke just kissed his sister!!! Leia is Vader's daughter!!!

the audience roared with laughter and applause...

good times...

oh yeah, we got the joke, it just wasn't funny. if people would've thrown shit at you and beat you up, then I might've believed the story, and that would've made me laugh.

Only thing funnier is laser pointers at a movie, bwahahaha!

Comedy gold if that had been the Special Edition!

That would have been me, sir. :)

Me and my friends went and saw it about 2 weeks after it had come out. Turns out, we ended up seeing the same showing as a rather large Christian group, ie, several bus loads of folks. The minute they start nailing him up to the cross, me and two others start whistling it while another starts singing it. The church going folk were not amused. But I did hear one stray snicker from somewhere up towards the top and another person started laughing immensely. We got lots of dirty, "Enjoy the roast in hell, heathen!" looks from the crowd as we filtered out.

I was going to mention that one. :lol:

i just love how every person on here is awarded with applause....

I find that a little hard to believe. In all the times I've been to the movies, a lot of times on opening day, I've never seen or heard the audience applaud at something someone said from the audience. Maybe it's just where I go to the movies.

I have to admit when I first saw INDY IV and the Fridge scene, I had to resist the urge to yell out "WTF, George?!" But I sure was thinking it. ;)

When I saw the 6th Sense in theaters, it was around the same time McDonalds was running some Tarzan toy promotion with sound making straws. So apparently some1 was drinking out of one and in the "creepy Halley Joel Osmond takes a piss" scene, some1 used the elephant straw as he was whizzing, at the time I could barely breathe I was laughing so hard. Then again I hated that movie.

Also, during Crash, when Sandra Bullock fell down the stairs the entire theater erupted in laughter (more ethnically diverse nyc theatre), saw it again (don't ask me why) upstate in Albany and no such reaction during that scene except from I, who snickered.

opening night of I Am Legend, during the shot when we see gas prices over 6 bucks a gallon (i forget the exact amount) a black guy next to me just yells out 'god damn' which got a laugh and some mumbling about 'oh, i'd never pay that much for gas'

i just love how someone missed the post 11 before theirs...
and then someone else does too...

The first happened in a college class. I was a criminology major and had to take a class called sex crimes. Really serious class. Well the prof brought in I Spit on Your Grave as a discussion item. We didnt watch the entire thing, just bits and pieces(I of course was the only creeper who had seen it previously). Me and 2 friends sat near the back, and there was a football player who sat behind us. Guy was never awake during class. Well the movie gets to the scene where she is about to start getting raped, the football player lifts his head off the desk and exclaims "mmm she gonna get it good." Just the fact that the guy that never spoke choose this time and that phrase to say was to much. It took everything for me and my buddies not to bust out laughing

Another was when i went and saw Swordfish. I believe the halle berry topless had gotten around, as it was all dudes and everyone was very spread out in the theater. After the scene takes places, my buddy exclaims "ok its allright to look at each other now"

I think it must of been when my buddies and I went to see Hot Fuzz but they showed a trailer for The Game Plan before the film. At the end of the trailer they showed the little girl all decked out in full football gear and then it cut to the name of the film. Everyone was dead silent but I couldn't help myself. As leaned over to my friends and said that I would of seen the movie opening day if it would of showed The Rock plowing into that little girl and knocking her out. My friends laughed and so did a few people around us but I think far more people were offended. I wonder if those people who were troubled by my comments enjoyed the last 20 or so minutes of Hot Fuzz. :)

The scene in the piece of shit excuse of a film called Vantage Point, where Dennis Quaid's crappy kia or whatever is smashed into a brick building, and he just gets out like nothing happened, tie completely straight, suit not even breathed on. My friend just let out a big 'You've got to be fucking kidding me--His tie is still straight'. It was great timing, as the theater was silent. He got a good amount of laughs. I wont lie and say people applauded him.

Also, all of the random ebonic-filled rooting-ons of Will Smith by the black people in the theater (I live in the Philly area) during I Am Legend. 'You go Will' 'Kick they asses Will' etc. Too funny.

The only one I can remember right now is going to watch Billy Bathgate. There were a lot of promos for it and we were hyped to see the Next Great Gangster Drama. The movie is definitely longer than the 106 minutes listed at IMDB. It was clear everyone sitting in the theatre was bored with it.

At one point, Nicole Kidman appears nude on screen for about two seconds in a long shot (a fair distance away from the camera). From the back of theatre, we hear some guy just says, "That's it?!?" which pretty much summed up the entire movie. The frustration of that line delivery is pretty much the only reason I remember the movie.

LOL. Man, wouldn't you know it - one of the best posts was fabricated in jest ... or was it?


My only kinda funny "one-liner" moment was at T2: Judgment Day! My buddies and I just happened to sit by one of our chums, Bill, from high school (back when we were in high school) and his girlfriend.

[Spoiler alert from the 90s]

During the final showdown, when Sarah Connor's shotgun was out of ammo but the T1000 stood against the railing above the molten metal vat, jacked up from the gun's blasts ... Bill, in a small-town Texan drawl, shouts to Sarah: "Drop-kick that sumbitch!"

I guess it was a funny enough line (in that you-have-to-know-the-dude way), but the earnestness in his words is what really resonates - he, like the rest of us, was on the edge of his seat during that scene.

And let's face it, a drop-kick would have done the trick.

I can just hear a Texan saying that, too LOL

I read it. What you typed wasn't remotely funny. And you weren't the only one who said that. There have been other mentions in this thread, which makes it very hard to believe.

Today at the screening of 'The Incredible Hulk"

during the almost love scene between Bruce (Edward Norton) and Betty (Liv Tyler) - he suggest it would be too much for his heartrate for them to get physical, a person from the back of the auditorium: "*cough* blow-job"

Hey I drive a Kia :mad: :(

During the Good Son with Mackauly Culkin when he curses my friend shouted out "Kevin" like the mom from Home Alone, which got a pretty good laugh.

During the scene in Sleepwalkers where the cats are surrounding the house my friend yelled out "Looks like the outside of a Chinese restraunt", which also got a pretty good laugh.

I wouldn't bother feeding this guy. [attrition] The less food [/attrition] the better ....

Go Gators? :D

:lol:

These one liners usually really annoy me, but sometimes they're really funny.
A week ago my wife and me went to see The Strangers. So this girls knocks on the door and when the main characters open up she asks: "Is Tamara home?"
Then we're half through the movie, my wife is scared stiff, I'm regretting I brought her here and praying for some single funny scene or something that would cheer her up a little. And then this girl in the mask appears on screen, and a guy from the audience (the audience that didn't make a single sound throughout the whole movie) says out loud: "That must be Tamara". All started laughing, and tension was broken. I have to mention Tamara is a very common name in Russia, and it was kinda strange to hear it in a foreign movie.

Maybe not funny, but in Passion of the Christ, during the cross-nailing scene, some gal behind me stood up and started speaking in tongues. Very weird, and I didn't make eye contact.

A buddy and I usually make snide comments to each other during movies, if they're bad, but not loud enough for others to hear. Pretty damn funny stuff usually, too. Last one I recall is Speed Racer, and when he wins the championship, (whoops, spoiler alert, oh well, the movie sucked balls anyway) they start drinking championship milk from a glass bottle and the reactions to the 'honor' of gulping it down are so atrocious that I said, "What the fuck?" Then, Susan Sarandon came up and looked lovingly at Speed and I said, in my best girl voice, "The milk came from me." My buddy started laughing and then John Goodman came on screen, with his man-tits more obvious than usual. He put his hand on Speed's shoulder and my buddy said in a deep voice, "AND me!" I cracked my ass off at that.

Again, not a funny saying, but in Team America, when the America Fuck Yeah song came on, I started laughing, but nothing too severe. When they hit the line, "So lick my butt and suck on my balls," it was so unexpected and it came out of nowhere. I thought it was brilliantly hilarious and I was laughing so hard I could not stop. For, like, five minutes straight. It hurt like hell, but my mind kept replaying that line and I just kept laughing, even when the song had been over for like three minutes. My buddy looked at me like I was defective, but I couldn't help it. People around me started to get peeved, too, I'm sure, but fuck 'em. Probably one of the top 3 fits of laughter in my life.

rotfl and yeah, that movie was a piece of shit.

what's funny is that the winner drinking milk after a race is a tradition at the Indy 500. so not really wtf-worthy, sorry to break that to you.

Regular people don't watch that trash.

doesn't make it any less true though. it's funny how that works.

When I saw "Batman Begins" on IMAX, there was a Pepsi One commercial before it, that ended with "ONEIFY" being displayed on the gigantic screen all by itself. I jokingly read it pretty loudly pronounced "O'Neefy" like an Irish name, and everyone within earshot started cracking up. It wasn't even all that funny in retrospect, but at the time it was hilarious.

The wife and I like to see who can insert the following one-liners in movies first, but whispered so nobody else can hear:

"Kiss me" during moments of uncomfortable eye contact between guys.

"Zip!" (meaning a zipper unzipping) after any time a guy says something along the lines of "I'm got something amazing to show you".

While the lines may have long since lost any trace of humor, we still bust up over the rush to get it out first.

While watching Tomb Raider, with some friends, we noticed some other people we knew, who sat near the front.

Anyway, when the first shower scene happens, the camera pans down from the shower head to Angelina Jolie. Some audience members cheer.

Later in the film, the same shot is set up, and as the camera pans down, people start cheering again, but then it's revealed to be a dude. People boo, and one of our friends sitting up at the front yells out "Refund!"

These are the only funny ones, in retrospect.