View Poll Results: your favorite "quotable" comedy
Animal House
3
3.33%
Caddyshack
9
10.00%
Swingers
5
5.56%
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
11
12.22%
Office Space
15
16.67%
Spaceballs
2
2.22%
Airplane
4
4.44%
Clerks
3
3.33%
Blazing Saddles
3
3.33%
Other (specify)
35
38.89%
Voters: 90. You may not vote on this poll
Favorite "quotable" comedy?
06-21-04 | 06:42 AM
#26
DVD Talk Godfather
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 65,284
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From: Gateway Cities/Harbor Region
Other:
The Players Club.... Bernie Mac had great lines
A Rage in Harlem... George Wallace had great lines
The Players Club.... Bernie Mac had great lines
A Rage in Harlem... George Wallace had great lines
06-21-04 | 08:22 AM
#28
DVD Talk Gold Edition
Joined: Jan 2002
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From: NYC Burbs
Spinal Tap has got to be the most quotable movie ever:
Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Nigel is playing a soft piece on the piano]
Marty DiBergi: It's very pretty.
Nigel Tufnel: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
Marty DiBergi: What do you call this?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lt. Hookstratten: May I start by saying how thrilled we are to have you here. We are such fans of your music and all of your records. I'm not speaking of yours personally, but the whole genre of the rock and roll.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Asked by a reporter if this is the end of Spinal Tap]
David St. Hubbins: Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mick Shrimpton: As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Reading a review of Spinal Tap's latest album]
Marty DiBergi: "This pretentious ponderous collection of religious rock psalms is enough to prompt the question, 'What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.
Ian Faith: I really think you're just making much too big a thing out of it.
Derek Smalls: Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: We say, "Love your brother." We don't say it really, but...
Nigel Tufnel: We don't literally say it.
David St. Hubbins: No, we don't say it.
Nigel Tufnel: We don't really, actually mean it.
David St. Hubbins: No, we don't believe it either, but...
Nigel Tufnel: But we're not racists.
David St. Hubbins: But that message should be clear.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nigel Tufnel: You can't really dust for vomit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: Well, I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nigel Tufnel: It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [Pause] These go to eleven.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Nigel Tufnel is showing Marty DiBergi one of his favorite guitars]
Nigel Tufnel: The sustain, listen to it.
Marty DiBergi: I don't hear anything.
Nigel Tufnel: Well you would though, if it were playing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Derek Smalls sets off a metal detector at the airport]
Airport Security Officer: Do you have any artificial plates or limbs?
Derek Smalls: Er, not really.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[reading a review of the album "Shark Sandwich"]
Marty DiBergi: The review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Derek Smalls: It's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marty DiBergi: "This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry."
Nigel Tufnel: That's just nitpicking, isn't it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[When asked what happened to their first drummer]
David St. Hubbins: He died in a bizarre gardening accident...
Nigel Tufnel: Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ian Faith: The Boston gig has been cancelled...
David St. Hubbins: What?
Ian Faith: Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it though, it's not a big college town.
Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Nigel is playing a soft piece on the piano]
Marty DiBergi: It's very pretty.
Nigel Tufnel: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
Marty DiBergi: What do you call this?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lt. Hookstratten: May I start by saying how thrilled we are to have you here. We are such fans of your music and all of your records. I'm not speaking of yours personally, but the whole genre of the rock and roll.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Asked by a reporter if this is the end of Spinal Tap]
David St. Hubbins: Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mick Shrimpton: As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Reading a review of Spinal Tap's latest album]
Marty DiBergi: "This pretentious ponderous collection of religious rock psalms is enough to prompt the question, 'What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.
Ian Faith: I really think you're just making much too big a thing out of it.
Derek Smalls: Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: We say, "Love your brother." We don't say it really, but...
Nigel Tufnel: We don't literally say it.
David St. Hubbins: No, we don't say it.
Nigel Tufnel: We don't really, actually mean it.
David St. Hubbins: No, we don't believe it either, but...
Nigel Tufnel: But we're not racists.
David St. Hubbins: But that message should be clear.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nigel Tufnel: You can't really dust for vomit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: Well, I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nigel Tufnel: It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [Pause] These go to eleven.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Nigel Tufnel is showing Marty DiBergi one of his favorite guitars]
Nigel Tufnel: The sustain, listen to it.
Marty DiBergi: I don't hear anything.
Nigel Tufnel: Well you would though, if it were playing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Derek Smalls sets off a metal detector at the airport]
Airport Security Officer: Do you have any artificial plates or limbs?
Derek Smalls: Er, not really.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[reading a review of the album "Shark Sandwich"]
Marty DiBergi: The review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Derek Smalls: It's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marty DiBergi: "This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry."
Nigel Tufnel: That's just nitpicking, isn't it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[When asked what happened to their first drummer]
David St. Hubbins: He died in a bizarre gardening accident...
Nigel Tufnel: Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ian Faith: The Boston gig has been cancelled...
David St. Hubbins: What?
Ian Faith: Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it though, it's not a big college town.
06-21-04 | 09:12 AM
#29
Suspended
Memorable Quotes from
Dracula: Dead and Loving It (Mel Brooks, 1995)
trailer: (not available on DVD, yet)
http://www.videodetective.com/home.a...alse&Play=TRUE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Renfield (to the peasants at the inn urging him not to travel by night): But you don't understand. I'm expected. I'm scheduled [pronounced the British way] to meet Count Dracula.
First peasant: Count Dracula?!
Peasant woman: Count Dracula?!
Second peasant: Count Dracula?!
Third peasant: Scheduled [pronounced the British way]?!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Renfield (in bed, watching Dracula's brides lasciviously rub their heaving bosoms on his bedposts): Ladies! What are you doing to the furniture?!...
(later, as they rub against him): Who are you people?!... I'll have you know that's my knee you're straddling! Stop it this instant! This is wrong! Wrong! ... Oh! Wrong me... wrong me... wrong the bejeesus out of me!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dracula: Renfield, you were having a nightmare.
Renfield: A nightmare? But it was so real, so vivid. Two voluptuous women, heaving and grinding. How to describe it.
[pause]
Renfield: Have you ever been to Paris?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Dracula is hypnotizing a female valet at the theatre where Doctor Seward is enjoying an opera.]
Dracula: You vill tell Doctor Seward there is a message for him in the lobby... and you will remember nothing of what I tell you.
[The valet goes to open Seward's chambers and nods her head. She opens the curtain to Seward's chambers and stands there with her mouth open for a few moments, then closes the curtain.]
Valet: [noticing Dracula standing there] Can I help you sir?
Dracula: [mimicking her] Can I help you sir?
[normally]
Dracula: What was that all about, why didn't you tell him?
Valet: About what?
Dracula: The message!
Valet: What message?
Dracula: Never mind! I vill tell him myself. And for your miserable performance, you will get no tip!
Valet: No tip?
Dracula: Ah! That, you remember!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Seward (about a troubled patient): Give him an enema.
Male nurse: An enema, sir?
Dr. Seward: It will give him a sense of accomplishment.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Seward (about Renfield) : Put him in a straitjacket and give him an enema!
Male nurse: An enema, sir?
Dr. Seward: On second thought, give him an enema first, then put him in a straitjacket!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Van Helsing (at Mina's bedside): We must find ways of protecting her from further attacks by the fampire!
Dr. Seward: Would an enema help?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lover at Picnic: Would you care for some wine?
Dracula: I never drink wine... oh, what the hell. Let me try it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan Harker (in Lucy's tomb): She's alive?
Van Helsing: She's Nosferatu.
Jonathan Harker: She's Italian?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan Harker: [having just been told to drive a stake into Lucy] Oh, this is horrid. Is there no other way?
Van Helsing: Well, we could cut off her head, stuff her mouth with garlic, and tear off her ears.
Jonathan Harker: Give me the stake. No. No, I can't... you do it.
Van Helsing: It must be done by one who loved her in life.
Jonathan Harker: I only liked her.
Van Helsing: Close enough.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Seward: Allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing. He's a doctor of rare diseases as well as a man of theology and philosophy.
Van Helsing: And gynecology.
Dr. Seward: Oh, I didn't know you have your hand in that, too.
Dracula: Dead and Loving It (Mel Brooks, 1995)
trailer: (not available on DVD, yet)
http://www.videodetective.com/home.a...alse&Play=TRUE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Renfield (to the peasants at the inn urging him not to travel by night): But you don't understand. I'm expected. I'm scheduled [pronounced the British way] to meet Count Dracula.
First peasant: Count Dracula?!
Peasant woman: Count Dracula?!
Second peasant: Count Dracula?!
Third peasant: Scheduled [pronounced the British way]?!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Renfield (in bed, watching Dracula's brides lasciviously rub their heaving bosoms on his bedposts): Ladies! What are you doing to the furniture?!...
(later, as they rub against him): Who are you people?!... I'll have you know that's my knee you're straddling! Stop it this instant! This is wrong! Wrong! ... Oh! Wrong me... wrong me... wrong the bejeesus out of me!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dracula: Renfield, you were having a nightmare.
Renfield: A nightmare? But it was so real, so vivid. Two voluptuous women, heaving and grinding. How to describe it.
[pause]
Renfield: Have you ever been to Paris?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Dracula is hypnotizing a female valet at the theatre where Doctor Seward is enjoying an opera.]
Dracula: You vill tell Doctor Seward there is a message for him in the lobby... and you will remember nothing of what I tell you.
[The valet goes to open Seward's chambers and nods her head. She opens the curtain to Seward's chambers and stands there with her mouth open for a few moments, then closes the curtain.]
Valet: [noticing Dracula standing there] Can I help you sir?
Dracula: [mimicking her] Can I help you sir?
[normally]
Dracula: What was that all about, why didn't you tell him?
Valet: About what?
Dracula: The message!
Valet: What message?
Dracula: Never mind! I vill tell him myself. And for your miserable performance, you will get no tip!
Valet: No tip?
Dracula: Ah! That, you remember!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Seward (about a troubled patient): Give him an enema.
Male nurse: An enema, sir?
Dr. Seward: It will give him a sense of accomplishment.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Seward (about Renfield) : Put him in a straitjacket and give him an enema!
Male nurse: An enema, sir?
Dr. Seward: On second thought, give him an enema first, then put him in a straitjacket!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Van Helsing (at Mina's bedside): We must find ways of protecting her from further attacks by the fampire!
Dr. Seward: Would an enema help?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lover at Picnic: Would you care for some wine?
Dracula: I never drink wine... oh, what the hell. Let me try it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan Harker (in Lucy's tomb): She's alive?
Van Helsing: She's Nosferatu.
Jonathan Harker: She's Italian?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan Harker: [having just been told to drive a stake into Lucy] Oh, this is horrid. Is there no other way?
Van Helsing: Well, we could cut off her head, stuff her mouth with garlic, and tear off her ears.
Jonathan Harker: Give me the stake. No. No, I can't... you do it.
Van Helsing: It must be done by one who loved her in life.
Jonathan Harker: I only liked her.
Van Helsing: Close enough.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Seward: Allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing. He's a doctor of rare diseases as well as a man of theology and philosophy.
Van Helsing: And gynecology.
Dr. Seward: Oh, I didn't know you have your hand in that, too.
Last edited by baracine; 06-22-04 at 10:15 AM.
06-21-04 | 01:29 PM
#32
DVD Talk Legend
Some pretty good choices so far. I would add "Sixteen Candles" to the list. So many memorable lines.
06-21-04 | 01:53 PM
#33
TOTY Winner 2018 and Inane Thread Master
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 54,110
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From: "Are any of us really anywhere?"
"Of course my girlfriend likes to sleep above the covers...4 feet above the covers!"
06-21-04 | 01:58 PM
#34
DVD Talk Legend
definately definately
Princess Bride
Nothing is more quotable then that movie.
Princess Bride
Nothing is more quotable then that movie.
06-21-04 | 02:03 PM
#35
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 783
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From: Illinois
Jeez, so many movies to quote from.....
I agree with Daytripper about Sixteen candles, but then again about any comedy from the 80s I quote from regularly. Caddyshack is probably the most I quote from, especially on the golf course.
No mention of Real Genius, so I'll throw out a few of my favs:
"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said, 'I drank what?'"
"Stop playing with yourself" "It is God!"
I agree with Daytripper about Sixteen candles, but then again about any comedy from the 80s I quote from regularly. Caddyshack is probably the most I quote from, especially on the golf course.
No mention of Real Genius, so I'll throw out a few of my favs:
"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said, 'I drank what?'"
"Stop playing with yourself" "It is God!"
06-22-04 | 07:10 AM
#37
DVD Talk Limited Edition
Lebowski
...'nuff said.
...'nuff said.
06-22-04 | 07:48 AM
#39
DVD Talk Hero
Walter Sobchak: Those rich ****s! This whole ****ing thing... I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this ****ing strumpet...
The Dude: I don't see any connection to Vietnam, Walter.
Walter Sobchak: Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude.
The Dude: Walter, face it, there isn't any connection.
The Dude: I don't see any connection to Vietnam, Walter.
Walter Sobchak: Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude.
The Dude: Walter, face it, there isn't any connection.
06-22-04 | 10:31 AM
#42
DVD Talk Gold Edition
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,262
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From: Phoenix AZ - West Side
Wow...took til page two to mention
F L E T C H
Anytime anything is broken, I know it's the Fetzer valve... and all it takes ta fix it is some 3 in 1 oil and some gauze pads.
Not gonna list 'em all here, but...for some reason I use lines (or ideas...like using the first syllable of a co-workers name as a nickname ala Bob "The Dorf" Dorfman) from this flick most every day.
F L E T C H
Anytime anything is broken, I know it's the Fetzer valve... and all it takes ta fix it is some 3 in 1 oil and some gauze pads.
Not gonna list 'em all here, but...for some reason I use lines (or ideas...like using the first syllable of a co-workers name as a nickname ala Bob "The Dorf" Dorfman) from this flick most every day.
06-23-04 | 02:46 PM
#46
DVD Talk Hero
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 39,565
Received 1,658 Likes
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From: Somewhere between Heaven and Hell
Caddyshack
But I'm always quoting The Sandlot.
"You're killing me Smalls."
But I'm always quoting The Sandlot.
"You're killing me Smalls."
06-23-04 | 02:52 PM
#47
DVD Talk Legend
Tommy Boy. love that movie.
06-23-04 | 03:46 PM
#50
DVD Talk Legend
For my friends and I, it is The Breakfast Club by far. Nothing else even comes close. I guess second place would probably be Fast Times At Ridgemont High or Can't Hardly Wait.