Okay, the previews make it obvious he goes to Transylvania to protect gypsy princess Kate Beckinsale because she is the last of a line of people who for some strange reason must battle Dracula. My question is:

-Seeing as how they are both Monster hunters, why doesn't he just throw her over his shoulder, take her to a gypsy trailer, and make baby monster hunters? Problem of her being the last on solved! I mean come on! Look at Kate she's gorgeous! I would start trying to find ways to hit it the minute I laid eyes on her if I were Van Helsing.




Guess that's why I'm not Van Helsing.

Perhaps that's why you aren't Van Hellsing. Instead of sex on your mind you should have the thought that a werewolf will bite your ass off.

Are you serious? You seem sarcastic. If it's true, what a crock!

No it's true! I read it on the internet!

This internet is one hell of a great truth teller.

I'm looking forward to the movie, it looks cool. But, I already know the whole plot without ever seeing it. Here's what's gonna happen:

The movie starts with VH hunting frankenstein just because he's bad, they have a fight and VH wins. Then they become friends. He sees his priest boss who sends him after dracula. He goes to the village and kills the army of darkness wannabe flying thing and gets Kate to wanna luv him, as seen in the trailer. Then they go after Dracula together (all 3 of em). Dracula sends a bunch of vampires and the wolfman to kill VH. Frankie dies to save VH and the pretty lady, exactly half way through the movie. wolfman gets away but eventually VH kills him right before he finds out that Dracula is his father. Big final battle ensues. Dracula dies but will have a magical power to come back in the sequel. VH saves the village and gets the girl, but he has to be a loner so he makes the sacrifice (sacrifice being not shaggin Kate Bekinsale) and walks off alone with just a silouette of him with a full moon. A wolf howls in the distance letting us know that the sequel has been greenlighted. Roll credits.

So, am I close?

No, no, Van Helsing's a eunuch. Read the classics, you uneducated rabble!

I don't know about this one. I hate the guy playing Dracula for some reason. He really sucks. His name is Richard Roxburgh and I seem to really dislike every role he's played. I liked Moulin Rouge but he was the worst part about it.

LXG just really sucked all around but I loathed his acting in it.

I kind of like Roxburgh. Why would Van Helsing become a eunuch? That would be the deal buster for me.

That's just not right......there are some things in this world that we must do!

Couldn't VH just hit it and quit it. (He'd walk into the sunset with a smile at least).

maybe he's in the line of the dracula battler's too and doesn't want to hump his relative?