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What NOT to do during Return of the King

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What NOT to do during Return of the King

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Old 12-31-03 | 12:33 AM
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From: Philly, PA
What NOT to do during Return of the King

Had this emailed to me... kinda silly

=====

What NOT to do during Return of the King...

Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where
the hell is Harry Potter?"

Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT
PASS!"

After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."

Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."

Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, pretend to bite
off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.

Dress up as old ladies and re-enact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty
Python style.

Start an Orc sing-a-long like "Where there's a Whip, there's a Way"

Come to the premiere dressed as Dr. Frankenfurter and wander around
looking terribly confused.

When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and
shout, "I see dead people!"

Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda
would be like.

Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob
scene.

Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.

When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let herself
go!"

Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a
nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
Old 12-31-03 | 02:23 AM
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This gets less and less funny every time I read it.
Old 12-31-03 | 02:37 AM
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From: Philly
Re: What NOT to do during Return of the King

Originally posted by necros
What NOT to do during Return of the King...

Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."

When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"


As well as, dont stand up to leave before the screen says The End.
Old 12-31-03 | 07:18 AM
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First time I've seen those.

Old 12-31-03 | 07:51 AM
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Is this more lore from the great humor of Letterman?
Old 12-31-03 | 07:54 AM
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This list left off my favorite:

Every time an Orc is slain, yell "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" Do this until you are thrown out of the theater.
Old 12-31-03 | 08:04 AM
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I read this list and one-by-one groaned at the staggering non-funny ... then I wet myself when I read Groucho's post.

das
Old 12-31-03 | 12:01 PM
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Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."


"I was there the day the strength of men failed, Mr. Anderson."

"The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this, Mr. Anderson."

"Men? Men are weak, Mr. Anderson."

"No, indeed. It is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not, Mr. Anderson."



Maybe I'm just easily amused
Old 12-31-03 | 12:37 PM
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What about "Welcome to Rivendel, Mr. Anderson" or "Become who you were born to be, Mr. Anderson!"
Old 12-31-03 | 05:18 PM
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I think this list is 10X funnier than Letterman's list.
Old 01-01-04 | 08:38 AM
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That nude elf had better be Liv Tyler ....
Old 01-01-04 | 10:24 AM
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drink a large pop and sit in the middle seat...sucks!
Old 01-01-04 | 12:20 PM
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Don't drink three big beers before you go into movie, unless you have seen it several times and don't mind missing some of the visuals.
Old 01-04-04 | 02:13 AM
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From: You have moved into a dark place. It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
That's what I'm Tolkein about!

God, that's funny. I hadn't received these. Thanks, I got a good laugh.
Old 01-10-04 | 05:33 AM
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Originally posted by Dr. DVD
Don't drink three big beers before you go into movie, unless you have seen it several times and don't mind missing some of the visuals.
I agree dont get a big drink for the movie or the overextended ending/wrapup will be VERY painful.
Old 01-13-04 | 10:49 AM
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Also, no gay jokes about Frodo and Sam.

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