I am completely baffled by the slamming of this movie.

All people need to know is that it stars Clint Howard (of Silent Night Deadly Night 4, Silent Night Deadly Night 5, Carnosaur, Ticks, the lead in Ice Cream Man, Mr. Toothache in The Dentist 2, and possiblty the worst: The Cat in the Hat) as a ship's mate with a hook hand -- Classic!

Anyone going into the movie expecting deep zombie "symbolism" or anything resembling Citizen Kane is crazy. Any movie that has a "Captain Kirk" character introduced in the first 10 minutes and then actually references the Star Trek connection during the movie is not taking itself seriously. Any movie with dialouge actually referencing the Romero movies as the "Holy Trilogy" should not be analyzed for historical accuracy involving the colonization of America. People slamming the movie for not having a plot or cheesy action sequences, well, that's kind of the point. BTW, the "plot" of the video game itself doesn't make any sense either.

Don’t go into it thinking the movie is going to be a Romero movie (with zombie “symbolism” and a serious tone) and its actually quite fun. (Much better than other recent horror movies that took themselves WAY too seriously. Yes, I’m looking at you Underworld and Freddy v Jason.)

And if that doesn’t change some views of this “Film” – it was directed by Uwe Boll who is indeed European (German).

They should base a MST3K show around House of the Dead. Might be some fun times.

So that's a thumbs down on this film?

Man this film was so bad it wasn't even good in a bad way. I can't believe they actually thought it was a good movie....I could've made a better film with my camcorder. Sad.

I wanted to pee on my copy of the movie, but then I wouldn't be able to watch the extras where George Romero seems to actually like the movie.

This brilliant director is also coming out with a movie based on the game Alone in the Dark, with Christian Slater and Tara Reid. And Bloodrayne, also based on the video game. I also read he picked up a couple more video game properties: Hunter: the Reckoning, Fear Effect, and Dungeon Siege.

Dear Renaldow,

Had you seen my trailer? WHAT THE **** DID YOU EXPECT?



Your pal,

House of the Dead

Let's put aside the fact that Uwe Boll is obviously a horrendous hack of the highest order and the mere idea of letting him direct something that costs money is a horrible idea. Who in there right mind thinks that THESE games are worth making movies of? I mean, seriously? Who's even heard of half of those games? These movies sounded like a bad idea from the beginning, this only makes it worse.

I've heard of all of them actually, Alone in the Dark is an old classic of a PC game that might have actually made a good movie, but it's very doubtfull in this guy's hands. Not sure about the other's though, don't see much to work with there. The story for Hunter: The Reckoning is probably going to be a clone of John Carpenter's Vampires.

http://www.alone-in-the-dark.com/tra...romo_large.htm

Check this out....This guy LOVES slow motion bullet shots!

This should really make him explode:

My housmate just rented it and we're about to start it. I'll report back in 2 hours.

May god have mercy upon me. . . .

Here:



You'll need them afterwards when you try to scrub yourself clean after watching such an awful film.

I hope he lives through it to report back.....

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Dear HOTD,

I don't judge a book by it's cover.


p.s. maybe I should from now on

,

Renaldow

... guess he didn't. It's been past 2 hours.


El-Kabong was a great person.

Ahhhhhh! My eyes! MY EYES!

Wow - I didn't think that it could be as bad as everyone was saying. NO movie could be that bad!

Looks like I was wrong. It *WAS* that bad. Wow. I cant even begin to describe the horrors within.

Well, being a Seattle native, it was fun to pick apart the bits that were NOT the San Juan Islands. Or like how that wasnt the Seattle skyline at the end of the movie. Or the heavy smuggler trade - like we have a lot of that around here. Oh yeah, the drug trade to Victoria is Columbia's pipeline to America.

[SARCASAM]
You know, I cant wait for a movie to be shot completely in bullet time from opening credits to the end. That would rule. Thank you W Brothers for this innovative cinamatic treat.
[/SARCASAM]

Oh - and when youre in the middle of making a bad movie, it's generaly not a good idea to remind the viewer of GOOD movies.

Well, I'm off to watch the commentary. I want to hear Uwe Boll go "Oh, geeze - what the hell was I thinking. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for this." for two hours.

***EDIT***

You know - on second thought, the movie wasnt ALL bad. There were at least 2 or 3 boobie shots, plus the "Slow-Motion Boobie Bounce" shot at the very end of the movie as the house explodes. So it wasnt a COMPLETE waste of time.

Sorry man.

Quote:

Originally posted by El-Kabong
You know - on second thought, the movie wasnt ALL bad. There were at least 2 or 3 boobie shots, plus the "Slow-Motion Boobie Bounce" shot at the very end of the movie as the house explodes. So it wasnt a COMPLETE waste of time.

Pics..?

That Alone in the Dark trailer looks terrible. My memory of the original game IS a bit foggy, but it looks like this movie has nothing to do with it! It looks like some sort of alien movie. Plus the title irony is back: he directed House of the Dead, which largely took place outdoors, now he's directing Alone in the Dark, which looks like half the movie takes place outside in bright daylight.

Wait a second....


there was a house in the movie?


i thought this flick was about 5 Teeeenzzz went to a rave on an island and ended up magically becoming experts in munitions and bullet time.

Yeah,it is pretty hard to miss seeing as how the climax centers around the house.

I'm sorry, i had my fill of the movie before that point.


Were the dead zombies INSIDE the house, or were they having a smoke break on the porch when the Bullet Time crew came in guns blazing?

I just saw this. It was so bad, it was funny. The only redeeming factor to this movie was that Alicia chick. She was ****ing hot.

Well, I too have heard of all of these games. My point is most people haven't, and a few of them aren't even really that good games. The whole point of basing a movie on a game is for the marketing purpose, since quite frankly most video games don't have anything in them that even warrants a film (there are a few that lent themselves to movies, Tomb Raider, Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat, but even those didn't turn out that hot).

Since the majority of humans on this planet have no idea what these products are, what is the point of making movies out of them? It's jsut so stupid. I'm sure Uwe Boll is the reason house of the Dead is so freakin awful, but quite frankly...listening to the commentaries and just thinking about what these films would be anyway...they really had no chance of being good anyway.