:lol:rotfl That is SO true.

I didn't see any of the trailers for it, went in blind. Trailers generally suck anyways.

:rotfl:

question: why is the film called "House of the Dead" yet it all takes place pretty much all on an island?

I haven't seen it, yet by your gripes with the film, it must make "Hell of the Living Dead" look like a masterpiece

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0...1.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

That's like saying "who needs to read any road signs saying Road Ends: Cliff in 1 miles, they arent very helpful to begin with"

In this case if you had heard ANYTHING about this film, you would have saved yourself time and trouble. Apple.com should be your friend on this before going to the local blockbuster.

The film is based on the SEGA coin op video game called HOUSE OF THE DEAD where you shoot your way through...a house of dead creatures. It was a verycool game and one of the only coin op games where I made it all the way to the end Boss and finished the game


http://www.creature-corner.com/graph...eofdeadpic.jpg

The bullet time slo-mo scene for EVERY SINGLE character was just so kewl!!! It ROX!

About the best thing you can say about this movie is that it included a few topless scenes. They were once a staple of low budget horror movies, but you don't see them very often anymore. I have noticed a resurgence in horror movie breasts this past year, though, which is encouraging. Freddy vs Jason and Cabin Fever both prominently featured them as well.

But otherwise, House of the Dead is pretty bad. About the same as your typical direct-to-video horor movie.

oh I know the game, I love shooter games, but I found this one annoyingly difficult, I wasted alot of quarters on this one.

I was going to start a thread asking if there was ANY sort of redeeming quality to this flick...

But, I guess what I really wanted to know if there were any boobies...

I loved this film.

It was hilarious.

"Why did you do this? To be immortal?!"

"To live forever!"

Such an awful movie that it actually became entertaining. The script, the gratuitous overuse of bullet time, the captain from Das Boot playing almost the same character (even his clothes were the same!), a bunch of rave-happy kids suddenly turning into kung-fu and munitions experts... This was class Z-grade horror all the way! :D

I still wanna see it - it looks bad in a good way. Besides - it can't be as terrible as Wing Commander... Freddie Princzscszzs jr. isn't in it.

so....renaldow,

did House Of the Dead ever write back..?

I have my letter from Die Hard framed on my wall.

oh..

and, seriously, were there any boobies in this movie..?

Not yet, but I'm hoping:)

I actually sent that letter to the movie care of the director Uwe Boll. I'd be surprised if he answers.

A couple sets, but none that original or interesting. The one girl with big breasts who runs around the whole movie in a top that's about to fall off... never does.

HAHAHAHA... great Simpsons reference! "Dear Die Hard...."

MATT

house of the dead licked complete nuts

For once, Giantrobo, I agree with you.

for once? :mad:

I think the reason they became instant kung-fu machinegunners is because the raver kids took the advice of George McFly:

"When you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything!"


Or its just a bad script.


I just cannot get over that there is no house with any dead in it. Thats like calling a movie "Biker Lesbians from Mars" and not having a single lesbian ride a bike.

I am completely baffled by the slamming of this movie.

All people need to know is that it stars Clint Howard (of Silent Night Deadly Night 4, Silent Night Deadly Night 5, Carnosaur, Ticks, the lead in Ice Cream Man, Mr. Toothache in The Dentist 2, and possiblty the worst: The Cat in the Hat) as a ship's mate with a hook hand -- Classic!

Anyone going into the movie expecting deep zombie "symbolism" or anything resembling Citizen Kane is crazy. Any movie that has a "Captain Kirk" character introduced in the first 10 minutes and then actually references the Star Trek connection during the movie is not taking itself seriously. Any movie with dialouge actually referencing the Romero movies as the "Holy Trilogy" should not be analyzed for historical accuracy involving the colonization of America. People slamming the movie for not having a plot or cheesy action sequences, well, that's kind of the point. BTW, the "plot" of the video game itself doesn't make any sense either.

Don’t go into it thinking the movie is going to be a Romero movie (with zombie “symbolism” and a serious tone) and its actually quite fun. (Much better than other recent horror movies that took themselves WAY too seriously. Yes, I’m looking at you Underworld and Freddy v Jason.)

And if that doesn’t change some views of this “Film” – it was directed by Uwe Boll who is indeed European (German).

They should base a MST3K show around House of the Dead. Might be some fun times.

So that's a thumbs down on this film?

Man this film was so bad it wasn't even good in a bad way. I can't believe they actually thought it was a good movie....I could've made a better film with my camcorder. Sad.

I wanted to pee on my copy of the movie, but then I wouldn't be able to watch the extras where George Romero seems to actually like the movie.

This brilliant director is also coming out with a movie based on the game Alone in the Dark, with Christian Slater and Tara Reid. And Bloodrayne, also based on the video game. I also read he picked up a couple more video game properties: Hunter: the Reckoning, Fear Effect, and Dungeon Siege.

Dear Renaldow,

Had you seen my trailer? WHAT THE **** DID YOU EXPECT?



Your pal,

House of the Dead

Let's put aside the fact that Uwe Boll is obviously a horrendous hack of the highest order and the mere idea of letting him direct something that costs money is a horrible idea. Who in there right mind thinks that THESE games are worth making movies of? I mean, seriously? Who's even heard of half of those games? These movies sounded like a bad idea from the beginning, this only makes it worse.

I've heard of all of them actually, Alone in the Dark is an old classic of a PC game that might have actually made a good movie, but it's very doubtfull in this guy's hands. Not sure about the other's though, don't see much to work with there. The story for Hunter: The Reckoning is probably going to be a clone of John Carpenter's Vampires.

http://www.alone-in-the-dark.com/tra...romo_large.htm

Check this out....This guy LOVES slow motion bullet shots!

This should really make him explode:

http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~psyc351/...rtonBullet.jpg

I'm about to start watching House of the Dead. Pray for my soul. . . .
 

My housmate just rented it and we're about to start it. I'll report back in 2 hours.

May god have mercy upon me. . . .

Here:

http://sfisteelwool.com/scrubber.jpg

You'll need them afterwards when you try to scrub yourself clean after watching such an awful film.

I hope he lives through it to report back.....

:lol:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


Dear HOTD,

I don't judge a book by it's cover.


p.s. maybe I should from now on

:(,

Renaldow

... guess he didn't. It's been past 2 hours.


El-Kabong was a great person. :)

Ahhhhhh! My eyes! MY EYES!

Wow - I didn't think that it could be as bad as everyone was saying. NO movie could be that bad!

Looks like I was wrong. It *WAS* that bad. Wow. I cant even begin to describe the horrors within.

Well, being a Seattle native, it was fun to pick apart the bits that were NOT the San Juan Islands. Or like how that wasnt the Seattle skyline at the end of the movie. Or the heavy smuggler trade - like we have a lot of that around here. Oh yeah, the drug trade to Victoria is Columbia's pipeline to America.

[SARCASAM]
You know, I cant wait for a movie to be shot completely in bullet time from opening credits to the end. That would rule. Thank you W Brothers for this innovative cinamatic treat.
[/SARCASAM]

Oh - and when youre in the middle of making a bad movie, it's generaly not a good idea to remind the viewer of GOOD movies.

Well, I'm off to watch the commentary. I want to hear Uwe Boll go "Oh, geeze - what the hell was I thinking. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for this." for two hours.

***EDIT***

You know - on second thought, the movie wasnt ALL bad. There were at least 2 or 3 boobie shots, plus the "Slow-Motion Boobie Bounce" shot at the very end of the movie as the house explodes. So it wasnt a COMPLETE waste of time.

Sorry man.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by El-Kabong
You know - on second thought, the movie wasnt ALL bad. There were at least 2 or 3 boobie shots, plus the "Slow-Motion Boobie Bounce" shot at the very end of the movie as the house explodes. So it wasnt a COMPLETE waste of time.

---

Pics..? :p

That Alone in the Dark trailer looks terrible. My memory of the original game IS a bit foggy, but it looks like this movie has nothing to do with it! It looks like some sort of alien movie. Plus the title irony is back: he directed House of the Dead, which largely took place outdoors, now he's directing Alone in the Dark, which looks like half the movie takes place outside in bright daylight.