The surgeon said my quick recovery was "above the curve", so I was discharged after 3(!) days instead of the usual week or more. That, despite having unexplained massive blood loss during surgery that required three blood transfusions, low blood pressure and a bout of fever complete with shivering that started on discharge day that I still can't quite shake. And the discharge itself was up to the physical therapist, who based this on the fact that I was able to walk down the hall on my own and climb up three stairs.

The ride home. How they shoved my 6'3" ass into a tiny little compact SUV when I can't bend or twist apparently involved breaking the laws of physics. And when you have nothing on but a hospital gown and a knee-length robe with the wind blowing furiously, well, I'm sure a few people saw things they didn't really want to. But one thing I've learned from this experience is that modesty goes right out the window and honestly you don't really care at this point. Next came the 3+ hour bumpy ride home and that was easily the second most painful part.

Fast forward to this past Friday and I'm feeling much better and about to slowly get back into the swing of things ...just need to call in a new prescription being it requires doctors approval. That's easy, right? You just call a switchboard operator at the hospital, ask for a resident surgeon to call you back and there you go. Yeah, to make a long story short I called early morning Friday and didn't get word back until Sunday at 6PM. Must've called 10 times and didn't get the actual call back until persuading my cousin who's an MD to call them for me and perform his secret doctor handshake to get results. That means I went over 48 hours without any pain medication whatsoever for a procedure that has most people on them continuously for 3 months. I could only describe the pain as being caught in a giant vice grip contraption you'd probably see in one of those stupid torture porn films. Honestly, I think I was reaching insanity levels up there with Jack Torrance for awhile and not being able to sit, stand, walk or lay down for more than a few minutes only further contributed to it. All I'll say is when my brother finally arrived with the Walgreens bag I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. And I never got an apology for the massive wait, just a "we don't normally do prescriptions on a weekend, but since you just had major surgery we'll make an exception" response. Didn't realize Friday morning was considered the weekend, but whatever.

But all bitching aside, I was really blessed to have a great hospital staff and friends and family that went so far above and beyond what they had to that I get a little teary-eyed just thinking about it. Not to mention this thing is gonna be life-changing for me, so absolutely no regrets.

And because it didn't actually happen without a pic: