I swap seasons of TV series on DVD with a pretty trustworthy friend of mine, and I usually let her borrow multiple seasons of multiple shows at a time. The last time I lent her season 3 of The Nanny, and I had put each of the 3 discs in a slimline jewel case. She returned those just fine. I had also lent her season 6 of Seinfeld, and as some of you may know, those season sets are slim DVD cases inside of a box. Anyway, I got Seinfeld back, and disc 3 was missing. She returned the case for disc 3, but not the actual disc. I asked her about it and she didn't know anything about it but she would look for it. I spent $40 on the set back in 2006, and I really don't know what to do. I know now that each season is available for $20 - $25, but I did spend $40 on it a few years ago. Plus, a few of the other Seinfeld sets she has borrowed she has not taken very good care of. The discs got dusty and lightly scratched, but I didn't say anything because they still work. So what should I do? Should I ask her to pay me the $50 for the set? What would you guys do?

Why would you charge them over replacement cost? Are you a terrible friend?

Give her back the box set, with missing disc, and tell her to buy you a new one.

My caveat when I loan people things is simple: return them exactly as I gave them to you, or just keep it and buy me a new one if you can't follow that rule.

well, if she's been returning htem in condition that isn't as good as when you lent it, then its your fault for continuing to let her borrow stuff.


As for charging her $50 for a set that you only paid $40 and you can easily get for half that now? that's kind of a dick move. Ask her to replace it... not how much you paid for it 3 years ago.

You mention you don't know what to do. What has the friend offered to do? The set is currently $15 on Amazon.com, so if it comes down to asking her to pay for it, doing so for more than the $15 and any applicable shipping costs seems out of line. You would then run the risk of the friend refusing to pay/replace the set along with friendship being damaged beyond repair.

Why would you lend your DVDs out? That was your first mistake. The only time my DVDs leave my DVD room is when I (and only me) take them out to watch them on the TV in the living room. If you are going to lend out your DVDs or even let anyone else touch them at all then you need to realize you are opening yourself up to problems and its just as much your fault as it is theirs. Live and learn.

If you don't lend things out, things own you, not the other way around. Can't imagine not sharing.

Just learn from this mistake and preface any future borrowing with their promise to rebuy if they lose it, if it bothers you otherwise.

Howdy, neighbor! (J/K).

I only lend to my father-in-law, mostly because nobody else in the family is interested in movies. He takes good care of DVDs and I do the same for his DVDs. As long as there is mutual respect and trust, there should be no problem lending out DVDs.

Use your head, though. Don't lend to co-workers or people who you don't know well and who have not built up a relationship of trust with you.

As for charging $50, that's just greedy. It's not the friend's fault that you paid too much for the Seinfeld set ($40! I only paid that for Doctor Who and Rome season sets during sales, only because I couldn't wait for the price to drop further. $10 is my purchase point for American TV season sets).

The point is for the friend to buy you a replacement set, not for you to make a profit.

How good of a friend is she? If she's a good friend, do not ask for any money. Things happen unless you know she purposely ruined/kept the discs. Let her know you're buying a replacement set. This may clue her in to offer to help with the cost. Also you need to let her know she gets one more chance to borrow a disc and return it in the same condition otherwise you're not longer her personal Blockbuster.

honestly, i don`t let people borrow dvds either, because they don`t have the same sense of value for them and treat them with no respect.
what they forget however is the fact, that my dvds represent a personal
value to me which they should respect by being careful. i mean if you borrow
someones car and put a few dents in it, you probably also wouldn`t act
as if nothing happened!!
as for your posts dkedvd, they do worry me slightly. not even your WIFE
is allowed in your dvd room!!??
i understand that you put a lot of heart and effort into such a massive
collection, but at the end of the day they are just objects.
what if you lost your dvds to a fire?? you would probably shoot yourself, right!?

My family owned and operated a consignment shop for twenty years and the first rule of business was to make sure that consignors understood that what they paid for something was entirely irrelevant to its current market value. By focusing on what you originally paid for something, what you're really doing is trying to keep score down to the penny, rather than letting the object in question be the focus of your issue. If the DVD needs to be replaced--and I agree that's the case here--then the DVD needs to be replaced. Whether your friend matches your original out-of-pocket cost is unimportant.

Just be grateful that the DVD in question is still in print and has actually become less expensive. Good luck explaining to a friend why she needs to spend an outrageous sum of money to replace something that has gone out of print and is hard to find.

see, why even risk a friendship by letting people borrow dvds
they borrow something, ruin it and then the person lending it has to feel
like an anal asshole???
isn`t friendship also respect? shouldn`t you respect other people`s belongings? on a side note i also hate vandalism! if i see someone
scratching a car i could just tear their head off

If she is hot just take the loss... if not then tell her you wont borrow anymore dvds out until she replaces the disc she lost or stop borrowing them out all together if you don't like the condition they are being returned in.

Ask her to replace the set for you by ordering it on sale on Amazon, and tell her she can keep your old set since you won't have any use of it anymore. If she's unwilling to do this and genuinely lost the disc then stop lending out your TV sets to her. Problem solved.

I'd take the loss, not ask for $$$ and just not loan to her anymore. Maybe give her one more chance...I'm a baseball fan so three strikes always seems appropriate somehow.

You can get the individual season of Seinfeld at Wal-Mart for $15.

She only owes you what it is worth now, not what you paid for it. Heck, if they found it used on ebay and gave you that copy you would have been "made whole". Even then they'd only have to give you the one disc you were missing. As a rule, don't lend out stuff to friends you are not afraid to write off as a loss if you dont get it back in perfect shape.

Sorry, I made a typo in my original post. I meant to write $40 where I wrote the $50! I would never do that to someone!

For those who say I overpaid for the set, I paid the $40 at Circuit City almost 4 years ago, when the MSRP for those sets were still $49.99, and that was the cheapest I could find them brand new at the time. That's why I was wondering about asking her to pay me $40 or if I should ask her to pay me however much they cost now. Because she is the type who would most likely be upset if I lost the disc to one of her DVDs.

She still has a few more of my DVDs (season 3 of Seinfeld and season 1 of Friends), and like someone else had stated, I also believe in second chances. I wasn't picky about the other discs conditions, since I checked them, and they only had dust and fingerprints on them and easily came off when I used a lint-free cloth. Some had light scratches that don't affect playing the disc.

Also for those who asked what she has offered to do, the best she has offered to do is to continue looking for it. I have not offered to swap DVDs back yet. Next week I will probably ask to swap back and see if she found the missing disc, as it's been about a week and a half already. If she hasn't found it by then, I'll ask her what she thinks the best thing to do would be.

Why would you even consider asking her to pay you $40 still? That concerns me a little considering if you have read though the posts, she can replace that whole season for $15, which is less than a new release DVD.

That should be a no brainer provided she is unable to find the missing disc.

I understand that, what I meant when I wrote my second response was that when I originally posted this I was still wondering if I should ask for the $40, and everybody seems to think that I should only ask for what it's worth now, so that's what I will ask for. All along I had been considering just asking for what it costs now, but I had no idea since this has never happened to me before.

I feel it should be only common sense to ask for what it costs now.
Thats fair enough. Now you know she can replace the entire series for $15 at wallyworld. And even with that, you would still be coming ahead. I assume you've had that for several years now, and even with the best of us collectors, time does take a toll on cases, boxes and discs. So with that, ALL your discs would be new as well as the box.

And on a side note... Say I payed $60 for a DVD (or series or a box set), and I was in your situation, if I found it for $20 new on amazon and in the $5 bin at walmart, I would have my friend get it for $5 at walmart. No need to have them pay more if they can find it at a cheaper price.

Thats just my 0.02¢

Nahhh... I wouldn't shoot myself. But I would def be pissed. If that ever happened I'd be done with collecting. There would be no way I could get my collection back to where it is now. I'd probably just travel more with all the money I would save from not buying DVDs. LOL.

If you borrow something from someone and break it or lose it, you're an asshole if you don't replace it. Don't "offer" a replacement. Just do it.

again thats basic manners, good upbringing and sense of value....
qualities which most people nowadays unfortunately lack

great then i am not worried about you, your collecting habit is within
normal boundaries
i would definitely be super pissed to lose my dvd collection to fire, etc.
as well!! all these out of print slipsleeves
then again, i would restart my collection with all titles being bluray
i wouldn`t give up, i would look into the future positive.