Houstondon

While many of the replies are reading a whole lot extra into what was said, it strikes me that she is simply reaching out to you. My take is that it's not about the DVDs, she'd be fussing at your new titanium driver or wedge if you were into golf enthusiast or if you were into comic books she'd ask why you simply had to have a complete run of a particular title. No, to me (and I admit to projecting based on experience) it's about her (it's always about her) wanting more attention from you. The money argument, unless you're withholding vital info, is simply an after the fact justification to her so she can save face.

I'd suggest talking to her about why she feels the need to dictate terms over your hobby, point out that you aren't joined at the hips, and prove to her that whatever you spend on movies is not busting you budget. Granted, such logic applied to most women is about as meaningful as them telling you to stop looking at the hotty walking by in the mall but it's a start. If it isn't about control (ie: hers over you) and really is about money, by all means find a way to compromise but women making outrageous demands is as old as the history of humanity so be prepared to go to marriage counseling or learn to wear dresses since you're in the process of being emasculated big time.

PS: Don't tell her this advice comes from DVD Talk's porn guru unless you want her next ultimatum to be that you spend too much time here, or online in general. lol

stingermck

Wow....it must be lined with gold.

And who cares if she doesn't want to watch your movies. They're yours, thats the point.

skacore

Its understandable, I get crap from family, friends & co-workers all the time for my tv on dvd habit. The only way I justify spending so much is being single, I work overtime soley to pay for them, and I have no life outside of my collecting tv on dvd. We all have our vices (mine being Cigarettes, Weed, Coffee & Tv on DVD) but I think its the balancing act as someone said in an earlier post....if you can't pay your bills you need to stop.

Rockmjd23

True, he should have had them prominently displayed in his manroom.

FantasticVSDoom

Yeah, my wife couldnt care less about movies, dvds, electronics. She would be happy with our old 25" television and owning no movies as she hates to watch movies she has already seen before. And I am sure she would love if I stopped altogether, but she knows its my thing and pretty much doesnt care what I do as long as we can afford it (hell sometimes when we cant). The only thing she has ever questioned was the need to have 3 videogame systems recently, but even then she didnt say I need to get rid of one just asking whats the point in it. I really didnt have a good answer to be honest, lol.

lotsofdvds

Tell her to get back in the kitchen. Or to knit you a sweater.

kintnerboy

Here's my 2 cents:

Half the fun of collecting dvd's is finding the right moment to buy, which doesn't really take more than 2 minutes a day reading the bargain thread here. Whether it's a sale, coupon or a pricing error, there are some ridiculous bargains to be had sometimes, and can't be considered a "waste of money". If you blind bought Viva Pedro! a few months ago for $25 and didn't want it anymore, you can sell it on Ebay and get more than you paid.

600 dvds doesn't sound like a problem (I have 2500, and I'm normal, right??).

You mean to tell me that in your collection you don't have a single copy of Watership Down, 32 Short Films About Glenn Gould, Quatermass And The Pit or My Dinner With Andre? (if you don't, what the heck are you watching?) or any of the other 500 dvds that are currently out of print?

If you were willing to temporarily part with a rare classic (they'll be back, trust me. Otheriwse there's always R2) your collection could become self-financing or even profitable. Your wife would have nothing left to say about it.

Something tells me that she would change her argument to something about "clutter".

Lastly, and most importantly, whatever the philosophical argument is against dvds is, eg that they're a "waste of time", "waste of space" or "waste of money", could be used against anything you currently spend your paycheck on. Does she like to eat out? You could save yourself hundreds of dollars a year in restaurant bills for starters.

BackStJoe

I'd get a divorce first. Seriously. I live with my boyfriend in a small studio apartment, and he'd never say a word about my DVD collection (approching 800.)

FM

I agree with everyone who said that this isn't about the DVDs. Sure, they're only things, but they're also something that you clearly enjoy. Is she so insecure that she can't handle you having a hobby that she doesn't enjoy too?

Fred

DeputyDave

My wife hates my collection as well. The problem is that my wife refuses to ever watch a movie more than once. If there was a movie she loved that she saw in the theater in 1982... nope, will not watch it again. Period.
Also our tastes are so dissimilar. She hates horror, dumb comedies, fantasy/sci-fi, musicals, and action movies (all my favorites). So even if there was something in my collection she hasn't seen before, most likely she wouldn't like it.

That said I still have a 600 DVD collection, proudly displayed in the living room. I am discreet about bringing in new DVDs (especially after a DDD sale) but that is only to avoid the eye rolling. She knows I buy DVDs (she stopped believing the "they reproduce on the shelves, the little devils" excuse). Every once in a while she drops a hint about how good of a vacation we could have if we sold them, but she accepts it because we know couples who are dealing with much worse vices in their relationship.

Ironically, one of the defenses that work best against selling them is explaining to her that I would never get back what I paid for them. One thing she hates more than anything is losing money.

philip74

to me what`s even more sad than the idea that you are selling off your collection is the fact that you seem to have auctioned off your balls on ebay long time ago
like the other posters mentioned, once you give away your collection, you will have no more say in the relationship whatsoever!
not to interfere with your valued marriage, but a COOL woman would never have talks like that with you!! a cool wife would understand your needs and desires and never tell you to sell your goodies!!
all those "my wife made me do" threads are pathetic....why can`t you men be true men anymore and stand up for your purchasing decisions?

SoSpacey

For me it is about balance.

If I bought any movie I could get my hands on she would probably get pissed.
If they were scattered all over the house and created clutter she would get pissed.
If I was spending beyond my means she would get pissed.

I dont. I am an adult.

I have been collecting DVDs since '99 and I only have about 250. My collection only frows about 30/year and I am fine with that. It isnt a rule she put in place.

If I buy a DVD and it sits on the shelf I get mad at myself.

I built a custom wall shelf for all my media. She was more pissed that I spent time doing that than about the number of DVDs. She is happy they are neatly organized and look nice.

And she would NEVER tell me to get rid of them.

lordwow

I have a collection nearing in on 400 movies. And I only have about 5-10 on my wishlist, (not including all the damn Star Trek sets which I'll probably never buy).

There is a balance to be had. I bought all the movies I love first, then I started collecting "great" movies, even if I hadn't seen them. I purchased the top 20 movies from AFI's old 100 list, and the top 20 from IMDB's voters.

Now, mostly what I buy are movies that are the classics/greats, but I've pretty much finished that, so it's on to the movies out recently (300 for example), but there's only a few movies each year I see in theater I'd buy on DVD.

Probably the biggest thing that sinks my money is buying old movies that I sort of like for like $5 at the DDD sale. Stuff like Terminator and Austin Powers. I don't have to buy it, but for $5, why not right?

My girlfriend also collects, so I'm lucky in that regard, but 400 movies over probably 7 years of collecting isn't that bad.

Definately limit what you spend, and what you buy. I think it's ridiculous when the DDD threads come up and people purchase $3,000 worth of DVDs. I'm a college student, I have lots of free time, but I don't even have time to watch my entire collection. So that's really curtailed my spending as well. I have a backlog of like 50 movies, so it's time to slow down.

And your wife forcing you to sell your collection is beyond ridiculous.

canaryfarmer

You've managed to hide them this long successfully, so obviously the only solution is to simply move the collection to a different closet.

gimmepilotwings

You'd lose half of them in one fell swoop.

Well, I guess it is better than all of them.

cdollaz

We really don't know enough about the situtation to say either way, but maybe the OP shares equal, if not more, blame in this. If he sits on his ass all the time watching movies, ignoring her, and spending money they don't have on DVDs, I would say he is the problem not her. Not saying that is the case, but without all of the info, it is definitely a possibility. We only have his side of the story.

JuryDuty

I'm going to take the opposite stance from many in this thread. (Kind-of)

First I have to say that I think it would have been better for YOU to come to this realization yourself than her to force your hand. I'm sure you're feeling a little resentful and I hope you two can work through that.

That said, she's kind of right, IMO. I've also been a DVD addict. I've owned nearly 1000 DVDs and have posted on here for years (still do!). While I still love DVDs and am very proud of my collection, I've come to the same realization she had. Basically, I rarely have time to watch the things, and when I do, it's usually with my spouse and we want to watch something new together.

Because of that, I've sold most my DVDs and actually made quite a profit since I got many of them for next to nothing thanks to the DVDTalk Bargains Forum.

Now, each of us have about 50 DVDs we love, that we will truly watch time and again, when we have the time. But unless it's truly a "timeless" movie or holds a special place in our hearts, we just rent now.

I mean, geez, RedBox is only a $1 rental for recent movies. And when I do find a new release on a superb deal for like $4-$5, I just buy it, hold it until we have time to watch it, then resell it at the Movie Trading Company.

All in all, I'm very satisfied with my decision to prune down my DVD collection drastically. What I have I LOVE, and what I don't have anymore, at least I know I could have if I wanted...but I just don't have that desire to "accumulate" any longer.

My 2 cents, I'm sure I have change coming.

dom56

Sorry, I'm not married so I can't give you any advice but my sympathy.

starseed1981

If she's asking you to give up something you obviously cherish, for lack of a better word, it just means she feels you are spending to much time on your hobby and not enough time with her (or the money spent on DVDs on her).

movie diva

I am a woman and when I was married, I would not have ever asked my husband to get rid of his comic books or stop his other hobbies, just like he would never have asked me to get rid of my comic books or my hobbies. So tell her you will get rid of the DVDs when she stops her hobbies, or tell her she can only have one pair of shoes and one purse.

Gondor

If you have problem paying the rent or something because of buying dvd´s, I understand why a dame would react. But if it´s not a money issue, there is no reason in the world why you should quit your hobby/interests. If my dame would object to the filling of the shelves with dvd´s, I´d tell her to stuff it. Biatch.

lordwow

Also, I would tell your wife to get rid of her shoes/clothing/etc if she's going to be that way.

"You have 80 pairs of shoes and you never have enough time to wear all of them."

Problem solved.

Wildo1966

My wife would be out the door alot faster than my dvd's ever would. You don't mess with a man's dvds, no woman is worth my babies!

PPP

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! Yeah, this thread went about how I expected it to when I read the title.

ECHO7

You came to wrong place for sympathy my friend. It's like a slab of steak asking a rabid dog for directions. Assuming of course that steaks could talk. This is also all assuming that you had balls, which were obviously stolen by a clown who then juggled them, tossed them under the foot of an elephant who promptly squashed them.

All jokes aside, sometimes we have to give in to what our wives ask of us, but there is always a happy place in the middle.