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My DVD collection is so big...

My DVD collection is so big...

 
Old 03-08-04, 04:56 PM
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My DVD collection is so big...

... it has it's own DVD collection. And my DVD's DVD collection is still bigger than yours.
... there's still snow on it in the summertime.
... it has an elevator and a lobby.
... it lives next door.
... a homeless family lives underneath it.
... King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.
... it has a retractable dome.
... it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.
... Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.
... it has a basement.
... it violates seventeen zoning laws.
... its got its own walk-in closet.
... The Mexican and The Spanish Prisoner have never even met yet.
... it takes me 9 1/2 weeks to find my copy of 9 1/2 Weeks
... if you filmed it you'd need to be watching on anamorphic 2.40:1 widescreen to see it all.
... last night I swear I watched The Unbearable Lightness of Being John Malkovich, The Opposite of Sexy Beast, Howard's End of the Affair and The Spy Who Loved Me, Myself and Irene
... its so huge its got its own zip code.
... like the Great Wall of China, its only fully visible from orbit.
... Oprah is telling it to cut back.
... all the ladies assume its black.
... Alien and Aliens are on separate shelves.
... to make room for it, I had to switch back to a 13" TV and get rid of my home theater system.
... pdjennings actually told me to "Get a life".
... the manager at Blockbuster calls me when he wants to watch a movie.
... Pauly Shore has written me a personal letter of thanks for owning his films.
... I've made a couch out of all the films I'll never watch again.
... my copy of Stuart Little is just called Stuart
... Winona Ryder almost broke her back after picking up her purse while visiting me the other day.
... when it sits around the house, it sits around the house.
... "Z"-lettered titles are in a separate time zone.
... it can no longer use the EZ form when filing its tax returns.
... it was just seen dangling Michael Jackson over a window ledge.
... my house now leans to the left.
... the moon now orbits it.
... alien astronomers in Alpha Centauri have made up a name for it.
... when it goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
... when it gets on the scale it says to be continued!
... when it wears a yellow raincoat, people yell 'Taxi!'
... helicopters try to land on my X-Files DVD!
... when it rode the bike across the moon in E.T., it caused an eclipse!
... DVD Profiler has barred me unless I pay for another server
... I have to live in my car 'cause they kicked me out of the house.
... that when I tried to load them all into dvdaficionado the internet crashed because it ran out of room.
... that E.T. no longer needs to phone home, he can just use them as a ladder.
... that it would take me 10,000 yrs to watch 1% of all my DVDs.
... that they are now looking into some new material to make DVDs out of since my collection used up all the resources of the planet.
... that it's on its way to George Lucas' house to bully him into releasing Star Wars:The Original Trilogy.
... my friends and family have all burned their blockbuster cards and now rent from me !!!
... My copy of Hercules got crushed by it's weight
... I've made a full size paper mache' replica of the titanic from my DVD cash register receipts.
... My copy of Hylander now says "There can be only one...well, maybe 1,000 but who's counting"
... Prof. John Nash (A Beautiful Mind) thinks I'm obsessive.
... I had no idea I owned "Insert Title Here"
... The digital information will probably bio-degrade before I get to watch them all!
... I now have a 'Tab' at Circuit City.
... I found myself saying "Dude, where's my 'Dude, Where's my car?' DVD?"
... Criterion asks me which movies they should release
... my friends decided to have an intervention.
... when I talk about The Black Hole I mean the gravitational force that formed when part of my collection collapsed in on itself, not the Disney film
... when everyone stops making big mama jokes about your mama and begins making jokes about your dvds.
... I look at my 750 CD's and think "How Cute!"
... I have all my dvds on a big tower and I almost didn't want to buy Austin Powers Goldmember because it meant unslotted everything one space to get to the A's.
... that my ex-wife and I share joint custody.
... that I seriously considered moving out of state to keep them all to myself.
... that over half my collection is still shrinkwrapped.
... that I have to fake my appreciation at Christmas because I already have it.
... that friends and family know they don't have to return the duplicates.
... that my giant ball of security stickers was just placed on the national landmark register....
... I had to put a blinking red light on the top of it so planes could see it at night.
... I have to hire Shurpas to retrieve the movies at the top.
... I'm counting it as a dependent at tax time.
... It's getting it's own place in our christmas card.
... Every three or four months it goes through itself and sells the dvds it doesn't feel are going to get watched.
... it has it's own 'wish list' on Amazon.com
... that every time I buy a new player I can hear screaming of sheer terror from the box as I bring it in the house.
... that you need a DeLorean to see where my collection begins and ends.
... "X" has its own shelf.
... you sort your Criterions by spine numbers
... you have at least 10 DVDs that begin with the word "American"
... whenever someone from the Smithsonian Museum stops by, they go "Whoa..."
... that in order to watch a disc, i have to hire 3 people and send them out 2 months in advance to search the vault in order to have the movie for me when i am ready....
... Imelda Marcos is thinking "that guy's CRAZY for collecting so many".
... that I have invented functioning nanotechnology in order to fit it on earth.
... It's one of the few man-made objects that can be seen from the far reaches of outer space.
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Old 03-08-04, 05:01 PM
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Funny stuff, I actually almost have ten DVDs that begin with the word American (only nine, but really close).
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Old 03-08-04, 05:04 PM
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... pdjennings actually told me to "Get a life".
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Old 03-08-04, 05:10 PM
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Old 03-08-04, 05:19 PM
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Originally posted by dcprules
Funny stuff, I actually almost have ten DVDs that begin with the word American (only nine, but really close).
Damn, I only have eight... but I do have ten with "American" in the title!
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Old 03-08-04, 05:23 PM
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....three different cable channels use my collection for their play list.
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Old 03-08-04, 05:40 PM
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....I was interveiwed by the NY....oh, nevermind.
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Old 03-08-04, 05:42 PM
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Re: My DVD collection is so big...

Originally posted by Dana
[B]... it has it's own DVD collection. And my DVD's DVD collection is still bigger than yours.
[B]
The first one is the best!
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Old 03-08-04, 06:21 PM
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You just ripped off the "My-dick-so-big" jokes and just replaced dick with dvd collection.
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Old 03-08-04, 06:40 PM
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Lists make me sleeepy.
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Old 03-08-04, 07:06 PM
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This is some funny stuff...where did you get this list?
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Old 03-08-04, 07:26 PM
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Originally posted by slop101
You just ripped off the "My-dick-so-big" jokes and just replaced dick with dvd collection.
My dick is so big that "X" has its own shelf.

I don't get it
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Old 03-08-04, 07:34 PM
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Nice. always in the mood for a quick laugh
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Old 03-08-04, 07:40 PM
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Originally posted by EskimoJoe
My dick is so big that "X" has its own shelf.

I don't get it
LMAO

BTW, I do have ten that begin with the word American. Actually it's 11 but who's counting?

Last edited by Roadkill; 03-08-04 at 07:44 PM.
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Old 03-08-04, 08:02 PM
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My collections nickname is John Holmes...

Last edited by QuiGonJosh; 03-08-04 at 08:51 PM.
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Old 03-08-04, 08:43 PM
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Originally posted by QuikSilver
This is some funny stuff...where did you get this list?
Sounds like something right out of DVDTalk. Waitaminnit! It IS from DVDTalk! http://www.dvdtalk.com/forum/showthr...hreadid=255721 started 12/5/02 to 12/11/02.

Shenanigans!
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Old 03-08-04, 10:05 PM
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The thing I checked on this was the date it was posted as I remember that thread.

Funny stuff though.
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Old 03-08-04, 10:32 PM
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Originally posted by EskimoJoe
My dick is so big that "X" has its own shelf.

I don't get it
Not all of them were rip-offs, but these are direct rip-offs from Drew Carey's "My dick's so big that...." series of jokes from his book:

... it has it's own DVD collection. And my DVD's DVD collection is still bigger than yours.
... there's still snow on it in the summertime.
... it has an elevator and a lobby.
... it lives next door.
... a homeless family lives underneath it.
... King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.
... it has a retractable dome.
... it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.
... Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.
... it has a basement.
... it violates seventeen zoning laws.
... its got its own walk-in closet.
... its so huge its got its own zip code.

Probably a few others as well.

And I can't believe that he couldn't spell "Highlander" correctly.

Hylander? Sheesh.
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Old 03-08-04, 11:05 PM
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It has a penis.
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Old 03-09-04, 12:00 AM
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Boooo! Booo! Shame on you, N00b! You have brought dishonor on your clan - kill yourself out shame!
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Old 03-09-04, 09:19 AM
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I remember a few of those since I posted them before.
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Old 03-09-04, 02:23 PM
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I kept this list and the "You might have a DVD problem if..." list and decided to see if anyone had any additions. You guys are funny!
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Old 03-09-04, 03:01 PM
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You forgot to wait for us to ask "HOW BIG IS IT?"
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Old 03-09-04, 03:07 PM
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Originally posted by Milton Berle
You forgot to wait for us to ask "HOW BIG IS IT?"
Yeah . . . he's right.

Start over again . . .
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