My tv has gray side bars when I put a dvd like the seventh seal in and switch to pro mode the gray bars are replaced by black but the picture has jagged edges. Stuff like the outline of a face or fingers looks very jagged. This goes away when I switch to 4:3 mode but I get the bright gray bars. I have a JVCF80BK dvd player, and a RCA HD65W20 hdtv.

You are going to get the bars regardless. That is unless your DVD player has a feature that will streatch 4:3 material when displaying on a widescreen TV.