Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
04-07-10 | 06:37 PM
#1
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From: "Are any of us really anywhere?"
Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
http://www.pajiba.com/trade_news/exc...ty-remakes.php
Two more remakes in development to discuss today, both via The Hollywood Cog (click here to see The Hollywood Cog’s Current Track record). Both are ’80s films (oh, OK. One was in 1990). But they present an interesting contrast between the two kinds of remakes we hate the most: 1) remakes of movies that we love that could never be duplicated; and 2) remakes of crappy movies for completely inexplicable reasons.
We’ll start with the molestation of your childhood memories remake: Columbia Pictures and Imagine Entertainment (oh, Ron Howard, how could you?) are developing a remake of Real Genius. Yes, that one. The Val Kilmer movie that everyone over the age of 30 loves. Except Communists and trash humpers. It’s about the youngest kid to be accepted into a program for geniuses who teams up with his roommates to develop a high-powered laser, which is stolen by the military and used as a weapon. But, of course, it was so much more than about that. In 1985 it was a satire. In 2010, no one knows what the hell a satire is or what it even means. The second take on the script is now out to writers, and soon, the “Mythbusters” guys may have to find a new movie to pattern their lives after.
Jesus. It just won’t be the same without the ’80s soundtrack. Also, the original made $13 million at the box office. Why would they remake this movie? (Note: This is not the sequel that was rumored years ago. This is a remake. Val Kilmer’s participation is unknown.)
ugh!
We’ll start with the molestation of your childhood memories remake: Columbia Pictures and Imagine Entertainment (oh, Ron Howard, how could you?) are developing a remake of Real Genius. Yes, that one. The Val Kilmer movie that everyone over the age of 30 loves. Except Communists and trash humpers. It’s about the youngest kid to be accepted into a program for geniuses who teams up with his roommates to develop a high-powered laser, which is stolen by the military and used as a weapon. But, of course, it was so much more than about that. In 1985 it was a satire. In 2010, no one knows what the hell a satire is or what it even means. The second take on the script is now out to writers, and soon, the “Mythbusters” guys may have to find a new movie to pattern their lives after.
Jesus. It just won’t be the same without the ’80s soundtrack. Also, the original made $13 million at the box office. Why would they remake this movie? (Note: This is not the sequel that was rumored years ago. This is a remake. Val Kilmer’s participation is unknown.)
04-07-10 | 06:43 PM
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From: NJ, the place where smiles go to die
Re: Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
While its not a "raping" of my childhood as I was barely born when this came out, it is however my all-time favorite comedy. I'm not against the remakes like so many here are, I am against remakes of films that were good only because of performances or the actors that inhabited the parts, like Val in this movie. He is what makes the movie, along with the retro look and vibe.
04-07-10 | 06:55 PM
#5
Re: Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
Why can't they just make a sequel where Kilmer is a Private-Sector square and his kid in college uncovers something with the corporation he works at? Is it really hard to just say, let's make a sequel?
04-07-10 | 07:15 PM
#6
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Re: Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
As long as they have someone as hot as or hotter than a mid-'80s Deborah Foreman and include the line, "Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?", I might bite.
04-07-10 | 07:41 PM
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From: Somewhere between Heaven and Hell
04-07-10 | 08:01 PM
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Re: Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
I propose a ban on the phrase 'raping of childhood' unless the movie is actually going back in time to molest your bits.
That said, these 80s remakes are getting real tiresome real fast.
That said, these 80s remakes are getting real tiresome real fast.
04-07-10 | 08:31 PM
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04-07-10 | 09:11 PM
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04-07-10 | 09:50 PM
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04-07-10 | 10:39 PM
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Re: Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
04-07-10 | 11:08 PM
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From: Sesame Street (the apt. next to Bob's)
Re: Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
Sorry, but that sounds terrible. I'd rather have a remake instead of a crappy sequel.
04-07-10 | 11:46 PM
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Re: Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
What next... a remake of Top Secret!?
04-08-10 | 01:31 AM
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04-08-10 | 09:44 AM
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From: Kingwood, TX
Re: Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
Considering today's environment, I wonder what political correctness would be enforced on this line by Professor Hathaway:
"What are you looking at? You're laborers; you should be laboring. That's what you get for not having an education."
"What are you looking at? You're laborers; you should be laboring. That's what you get for not having an education."
04-08-10 | 10:37 AM
#22
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Re: Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
Let's just quote "Real Genius".
"Do you mind if I name my first child after you? "Dipshit Knight" has a nice ring to it."
"Do you mind if I name my first child after you? "Dipshit Knight" has a nice ring to it."
04-08-10 | 10:40 AM
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From: Kingwood, TX
Re: Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
"This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated. "
04-08-10 | 10:57 AM
#25
Re: Real Genius remake --> the raping of childhood continues.
Interestingly, my childhood remains un-raped.
Of all the TV series they've turned into big-budget theatrical movies, they've continued to steer clear of my favorite, "The Man from U.N.C.L.E."
No big-screen remakes, I'm happy to say, of:
WEST SIDE STORY
THE GREAT ESCAPE
IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD
JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS
ONE MILLION YEARS BC
OUR MAN FLINT
YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE
THE DIRTY DOZEN
THE WILD BUNCH
BEN-HUR
EL CID
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
M*A*S*H
PATTON
They did a TV movie sequel to GREAT ESCAPE and it was actually quite interesting and something of an honorable enterprise. They did questionable TV movie sequels to THE DIRTY DOZEN, but they at least had Lee Marvin and some other original cast members in them.
There was a TV movie about "Jason and the Argonauts," but I don't think it was a remake of the Harryhausen film, just another (cheaper) version of the classic Greek myth.
Of all the TV series they've turned into big-budget theatrical movies, they've continued to steer clear of my favorite, "The Man from U.N.C.L.E."
No big-screen remakes, I'm happy to say, of:
WEST SIDE STORY
THE GREAT ESCAPE
IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD
JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS
ONE MILLION YEARS BC
OUR MAN FLINT
YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE
THE DIRTY DOZEN
THE WILD BUNCH
BEN-HUR
EL CID
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
M*A*S*H
PATTON
They did a TV movie sequel to GREAT ESCAPE and it was actually quite interesting and something of an honorable enterprise. They did questionable TV movie sequels to THE DIRTY DOZEN, but they at least had Lee Marvin and some other original cast members in them.
There was a TV movie about "Jason and the Argonauts," but I don't think it was a remake of the Harryhausen film, just another (cheaper) version of the classic Greek myth.