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Old 07-21-03, 10:45 AM
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Is this true?

Ther was alfo a wyf, ful femely, in ftratford dwellynge, and in hir hous, a
fpayniel dogg, yclept "Cocker." And it did pafs, on Apryl even, when came
hir daye of birth, yat feveral goode frends to hir, for fporte, did hyde
yemfelves amidft hir fofas and lyke furnytur, with lyghts yturnd-off, one
and all. And when hir ftep was herd approachynge, the merrye companie as one
lept out, and gan to crie "Surprife, thou!" And ther ftood the goodwyf, full
bare, and yfmeard with nut-butere, whiftelynge "Cocker! Here, boye! My
maydenhede thou lyck and wel conferve, anon!"



Chaucer, 15th century
(you wouldn't believe how old some of these urban legends are)
Old 07-21-03, 10:46 AM
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jesus man, run a spell checker!
Old 07-21-03, 10:47 AM
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49? WTF?!

Seriously, don't post old gaelic tomes. We need English, prefurably in modern vernacular.
Old 07-21-03, 10:47 AM
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Is that really from Chaucer? Which story?
Old 07-21-03, 10:47 AM
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I bet Chaucer walked around nude.
Old 07-21-03, 10:49 AM
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Wait, did I just read a kinky story?
Old 07-21-03, 10:52 AM
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Re: Is this true?

RoQuEr... easy, now... put down the Cantebury Tales... there you go... everything will be all right, just step away from the Nun's Tale... step away from the Nun's Tale!
Old 07-21-03, 10:53 AM
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Originally posted by who me?
Wait, did I just read a kinky story?

Yes, yes you did. And a funny one to boot.

-doc
Old 07-21-03, 11:07 AM
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for the lazy.

http://www.snopes.com/risque/bestial/peanutbt.htm
Old 07-21-03, 11:20 AM
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Old 07-21-03, 11:45 AM
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Originally posted by RoQuEr
for the lazy.

http://www.snopes.com/risque/bestial/peanutbt.htm
The following is a true story, as seen by millions of viewers on a Spanish T.V. Channel:
The parents of a teenage girl decided to put their daughter's name forward for a surprise game show. She idolised teen-age pop star Ricky Martin, and they arranged for TV cameras to be placed throughout the house. The house was then left empty with Ricky Martin hidden in the wardrobe in the girl's bedroom - all set to give the daughter a wonderful surprise.

However, upon returning home from school and finding the house empty, the daughter made her way down to the kitchen where she opened the fridge and removed a tin of pate - at this stage the live TV audience is wondering, "What the hell is going on?"

She then went back upstairs to her bedroom where she proceeded to remove all her clothes and spread pate all over her triangle of womanhood (at this stage Ricky Martin is still hidden inside the wardrobe, and half of Spain is seeing a young girl stark naked on the bed with pate all over her crotch).

As if the parents were not shocked enough by this, the daughter then calls the family dog, who obediently trots up the stairs and settles down to his favourite meal of "pate on a bed of seaweed". At this stage the order is given to cut the broadcast, leaving a very embarassed set of parents in front of a live studio audience!! Consequently, sales of tinned pate have rocketed.
Old 07-21-03, 12:16 PM
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That particular sample isn't in the Canterbury tales that I'm aware of. But some equally interesting material is, once you get into the olde english reading mode. I enjoyed it back in High School anyway.
Old 07-21-03, 01:06 PM
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Originally posted by Otto
That particular sample isn't in the Canterbury tales that I'm aware of. But some equally interesting material is, once you get into the olde english reading mode. I enjoyed it back in High School anyway.
The Miller's Tale comes to mind. Doesn't always hurt to have a more modern translation on hand.
Old 07-21-03, 07:10 PM
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Not to be pedantic, but... Chaucer actually wrote in "Middle English" not "Old English." Middle English can be puzzled out by a modern reader by sounding out the words phonetically; after you get into the rhythm, it's actually not that hard. Old English, on the other hand, is really another language, complete with some letters that don't exist in the modern language. Beowulf, for instance, is in Old English (all the versions you see in the bookstores are translations).

This trivia brought to you by someone who studied both Old and Middle English in grad school...

But seriously, Chaucer is good stuff.
Old 07-21-03, 08:59 PM
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Yes. Most people are surprised to discover that Shakespeare actually wrote in Modern English.

Old English is very much a completely different language, trying to read it is more like reading German than Modern English.

And Chaucer wasn't afraid to work baudy. The portrayal of him in "Knight's Tale" probably wasn't inaccurate.
Old 07-21-03, 10:02 PM
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Re: Is this true?

Originally posted by RoQuEr
Ther was alfo a wyf, ful femely, in ftratford dwellynge, and in hir hous, a
fpayniel dogg, yclept "Cocker." And it did pafs, on Apryl even, when came
hir daye of birth, yat feveral goode frends to hir, for fporte, did hyde
yemfelves amidft hir fofas and lyke furnytur, with lyghts yturnd-off, one
and all. And when hir ftep was herd approachynge, the merrye companie as one
lept out, and gan to crie "Surprife, thou!" And ther ftood the goodwyf, full
bare, and yfmeard with nut-butere, whiftelynge "Cocker! Here, boye! My
maydenhede thou lyck and wel conferve, anon!"



Chaucer, 15th century
(you wouldn't believe how old some of these urban legends are)
It sounds questionable to me. The line "lights turned off" sounds way too modern to be referring to candle-light. I'm sure someone could google on the origins of things like suprise birthday parties, the breed "cocker spaniel", and such to provide more evidence that might dispute it.


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