DVD Talk
Jupiter Ascending (2015) D: Wachowskis; S: Kunis, Tatum, Bean [Archive] - DVD Talk Forum
 
Best Sellers
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
The Longest Day
Buy: $54.99 $24.99
9.
10.
DVD Blowouts
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Alien [Blu-ray]
Buy: $19.99 $9.99
8.
9.
10.

DVD Reviews

View Full Version : Jupiter Ascending (2015) D: Wachowskis; S: Kunis, Tatum, Bean


Osiris3657
03-27-12, 08:30 AM
Not much is known yet about Jupiter Ascending, but it's an original sci fi franchise that the Wachowskis are working on with Warner Bros.

Apparently Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis have been offered the lead roles.

Terrell
03-27-12, 05:44 PM
Ugh!! My interest tumbled. Tatum was the worst part of The Vow, but I'll give him credit for 21 Jump Street. He was pretty good. But I still don't think he has anywhere near the chops to lead a film like this. Kunis doesn't impress me either.

JumpCutz
03-27-12, 07:06 PM
Channing Tatum, the comic genius?

Solid Snake
03-27-12, 07:15 PM
Ugh!! My interest tumbled. Tatum was the worst part of The Vow, but I'll give him credit for 21 Jump Street. He was pretty good. But I still don't think he has anywhere near the chops to lead a film like this. Kunis doesn't impress me either.

Never seen Black Swan?

mndtrp
03-27-12, 07:18 PM
Can he be worse than Keanu as the lead man?

Terrell
03-27-12, 07:26 PM
Never seen Black Swan?

She was a lightweight in that film. Portman did all the heavy lifting.

Solid Snake
03-27-12, 07:50 PM
lightweight enough to win the Venice Film Festival's Marcello Mastroianni Award for Best Young Actress

Tarantino
03-27-12, 10:13 PM
She was a lightweight in that film. Portman did all the heavy lifting.

Bullshit.

Groucho
03-27-12, 10:15 PM
More excited about Kunis than Channing or the Wachoswski siblings.

Troy Stiffler
03-27-12, 10:21 PM
Yea. Kunis is the only one who, um, "excites" me too.

My Other Self
03-27-12, 10:33 PM
Kunis has the chops to pull off a serious role but it's not like Carrie Ann Moss carried defined the role of Trinity in the Matrix trilogy. She has me most excited for this but after the clusterfuck that was Speed Racer, I'm not really jumping for anything the Wachowski's churn out.

bluetoast
03-27-12, 10:46 PM
Can he be worse than Keanu as the lead man?

Haha this line reminds me of Obi-Wan saying to Yoda "Was I any different when you taught me?"

I know nothing of the project, but Tatum seems cool.

Osiris3657
06-01-12, 02:17 PM
Plot Description:

A recent Russian immigrant — played by actual Ukrainian immigrant Mila Kunis — who is busily scrubbing toilets for a living. Unbeknownst to her, she actually possesses the same perfect genetic makeup as the Queen of the Universe and is therefore a threat to her otherwise immortal rule.

These evolved beings fall into various different groups, all of which share some human DNA but who have become evolved after being bred with animal DNA to heighten their best characteristics — e.g., soldiers getting their fearlessness, strength, and a pack mentality from wolves; workers getting their industriousness and reputation for diligence from bees.

Pretty soon, a bounty hunter of the evolved-being type is dispatched to dispose of the Cleaning Lady with the Great Pair of Nucloetides, but, as you’d expect with a MATRIX re-dux, they fall in love... And for having fallen for his target, the bounty hunter — who we hear will be played by Channing Tatum — well, let’s just say that things get messy after that, because his employers take a-less-than-enlightened-being reaction to his decision to protect rather than kill her.

islandclaws
06-01-12, 02:40 PM
Well, that certainly sounds... interesting.

gmanca
06-01-12, 02:46 PM
Sounds like another Snow White retelling. I guess this is their commercial film after doing the art film in Cloud Atlas.

Osiris3657
06-01-12, 06:23 PM
Maybe I've forgotten the story of Snow White, but that is not what I thought of when reading that synopsis.

Groucho
06-01-12, 08:29 PM
That plot is pretty pedestrian. Reminds me of The Sixth Element.

RocShemp
06-01-12, 08:37 PM
Sounds like another Snow White retelling. I guess this is their commercial film after doing the art film in Cloud Atlas.

Yup. A sci-fi Snow White is the first thing that came to my mind as well.

Osiris3657
02-06-13, 07:39 AM
Eddie Redmayne and Sean Bean have joined the cast.

Cloud Atlas restored my faith in the Wachowskis, so I'm even more interested in this now.

PatD
02-06-13, 11:15 AM
I like the Wachowskis because they are a unique and distinct voice in mainstream cinema. I feel the same way about Kevin Smith. And in both cases, I'm amazed (and pleased) that any of them continue to get funding for their projects.

ScorseseLovesU
02-06-13, 11:18 AM
I don't mind Tatum, but the dude sure has a tendency to do the old valley boy mumbling bit.

Defiant1
02-06-13, 09:15 PM
Eddie Redmayne and Sean Bean have joined the cast.

Cloud Atlas restored my faith in the Wachowskis, so I'm even more interested in this now.

I've got 45 minutes on the over/under for Sean Bean's character's death! :D

RocShemp
02-08-13, 08:29 AM
I've got 45 minutes on the over/under for Sean Bean's character's death! :D

Heck, why not have it happen during the opening scene? ;)

dex14
03-15-13, 09:40 AM
Warner Bothers has set Andy and Lana Wachowski’s new sci-fi epic Jupiter Ascending to open July 25, 2014. Sean Bean, Channing Tatum, Eddie Redmayne, and Mila Kunis star in the WB-Village Roadshow co-production.

Supermallet
03-15-13, 11:17 AM
I'm far more excited for new Wachowskis than I am for new Malick at this point.

fumanstan
03-15-13, 11:31 AM
I'm in, I still really like the Wachowski's, as I enjoyed Cloud Atlas, thought Speed Racer shouldn't have bombed as it was actually a lot of fun, and thought the Matrix sequels didn't suck.

starseed1981
03-15-13, 01:38 PM
I've loved everything the Wachowskis have ever done, sans the abandoning of their main characters in The Matrix Revolutions, so I'm in. I wonder if there gonna make Kunis drop all that weight she just gained?

Jon2
03-15-13, 06:59 PM
Sounds like another Snow White retelling. I guess this is their commercial film after doing the art film in Cloud Atlas.

Sounds more like it was "inspired" by Colleen Doran's A Distant Soil... minus the gay/androgyny aspects.

Dr. DVD
03-15-13, 11:05 PM
Why are they giving Mila Kunis so many serious roles?

Solid Snake
03-16-13, 04:21 AM
Cuz they can?

Osiris3657
06-24-13, 10:33 PM
Channing was asked about Jupiter Ascending and his role in it during an interview about "White House Down"

"We are breaking ground on—I mean it’s a tough shoot. We’re doing stuff that’s never been done, inside the camera, in the CG world, and the physical stuff. There’s very little, if not no, digital stuntmen in the movie. All the stuff is really real and it’s been hard figuring it out because they don’t like doing anything that’s been done before."


“I’m a splice, splices are essentially built in a test tube. I’m a hybrid wolf and human. And half albino, so I’m a little defective.”

Per Collider (http://collider.com/jupiter-ascending-channing-tatum-spider-man-2-jamie-foxx/)

The Bus
06-25-13, 06:34 AM
This could be really inventive and awesome, like parts of <i>Cloud Atlas</i>, or it could be endlessly boring and bland, like other parts of <i>Cloud Atlas</i>.

dex14
12-09-13, 07:13 PM
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/9tWrq0YusyM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

fumanstan
12-09-13, 07:22 PM
It looks cool to me so far. Although as with other Wachowski projects, these always seem to start off with me thinking about how ambitious they look. The end result doesn't always pan out.

RocShemp
12-09-13, 07:57 PM
I really like what I see.

Osiris3657
12-09-13, 08:46 PM
I laughed out loud when I got a good look at Tatum. His makeup and the prosthetic pieces look fucking ridiculous.

I'd still check it out though.

RichC2
12-09-13, 09:25 PM
They need somebody to reign the Wachowskis in. They have solid ideas and visual senses, but then they go way over the top with it.

Why So Blu?
12-09-13, 09:55 PM
Woah, that just went up to one of my "most want to see" list of 2014. Very fucking impressive!

kd5
12-09-13, 09:58 PM
I'm always in for a new sci-fi movie, this one looks promising.

Artman
12-09-13, 10:03 PM
They need somebody to reign the Wachowskis in. They have solid ideas and visual senses, but then they go way over the top with it.

Yeah, they're out in la-la land most of the time it seems...they probably thought the eye-liner on Tatum looked great. That's unfortunate because this is certainly an interesting and ambitious premise, but the tone is just too "out there" to pick up any traction. I'm not even sure I'm interested.

GreenVulture
12-10-13, 12:09 AM
Wow, that looks very generic. Maybe an expanded trailer will turn me around, but based on the footage presented, this looks like something you'd watch in the theaters, enjoy (or not), and then promptly forget about it a couple of days later.

I watched the trailer 15 minutes ago and am already having trouble recalling much of anything from it. The slow post-Matrix slide of the Wachowskis' career seems to continue. :(

Why So Blu?
12-10-13, 01:23 AM
I think it looks fine. In this day and age where Speed Racer is finally getting the props it deserves for being a cool little flick - Jupiter Ascending looks to be their most ambitious project since The Matrix Trilogy. It's only been 10 years since the last Matrix flick was out. Everything in between has been an adaptation of something. Really looking forward to this. It looks like Final Fantasy or some shit.


:rock2::johnwoo::dance:

Chadm
12-10-13, 05:05 AM
Mila Kunis isn't a good dramatic actor.

RichC2
12-10-13, 08:19 AM
I don't think it looks as ambitious as Cloud Atlas, which would have worked better without the need to layer make-up on all the actors. Similarly, this looks like cheese, but could be fun. However, the mascara on elf Tatum is cringe inducing.

Timber
12-10-13, 09:04 AM
The Wachowskis name means nothing to me at this point. In fact I'm more likely to avoid a film by them then I am to see one. I'm pretty certain I'll skip this one.

DaveyJoe
12-10-13, 09:11 AM
I think it looks good, I didn't even notice the eye-liner on Tatum, I think you guys are blowing it out of proportion.

starseed1981
12-10-13, 09:13 AM
I'm a huge fan of the Wachowski's so I'm down for this day one. I thought it was a solid teaser trailer. Plus, they'll filmed alot right outside my loft so I'm hoping the outside of my building makes it in a scene or two.

valkyrie
12-10-13, 09:35 AM
Ugh...not sure they could have picked worse actors for this one (except for Sean Bean, he's cool). This is how I felt after seeing the trailer:

From the men....er....man and woman who brought you Speed Racer comes an galactic adventure with the guy who played a 30 year old high schooler in 21 jump street and the other girl (you know, not Natalie Portman) from Black Swan. Okay, well just watch it cause it'll have cool special effects and Ned Stark.

DaveyJoe
12-10-13, 09:41 AM
Tatum was funny in 21 Jump Street and solid in the Soderbergh flicks. Did you watch 21 Jump Street? You know he was playing a cop going undercover and part of the joke was that he looked way too old. Kunis was very good in Black Swan.

Groucho
12-10-13, 09:44 AM
Looks like I'm in the minority on this one: I think it looks terrible.

RichC2
12-10-13, 09:55 AM
Ugh...not sure they could have picked worse actors for this one (except for Sean Bean, he's cool). This is how I felt after seeing the trailer:

From the men....er....man and woman who brought you Speed Racer comes an galactic adventure with the guy who played a 30 year old high schooler in 21 jump street and the other girl (you know, not Natalie Portman) from Black Swan. Okay, well just watch it cause it'll have cool special effects and Ned Stark.

Yea, he did play a 30 year old cop who goes to high school and gets called out for being 30. And I didn't know Winona Ryder was in this.

Solid Snake
12-10-13, 11:50 AM
Aside from how ridiculous Tatum looks... I dug the trailer.

Troy Stiffler
12-10-13, 12:30 PM
Anyone remember how epic The Matrix trailer was?

I think they'll deliver a visceral sci-fi action film. I will have to get over that Wachowski style dialogue.

Supermallet
12-10-13, 01:23 PM
This is more straight ahead sci-fi than I expected. Looks good.

Osiris3657
01-07-14, 09:04 PM
New image released by WB. Tatum still looks ridiculous

http://www.worstpreviews.com/images/headlines/temp/temp4683.jpg

Osiris3657
02-28-14, 09:33 PM
International Trailer

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/e7E2BnHu_wg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Artman
02-28-14, 11:31 PM
You've got Channing Tatum starring in your movie...why in the world do you give him such a ridiculous look? And why does the studio funding the project allow it? You need to keep your leads looking normal in a sci-fi universe for it to be given a chance of success. Even Guardians of the Galaxy has a regular looking leading man. Total bomb.

DaveyJoe
03-01-14, 12:21 AM
Tatum looks fine, calm down nerds.

Why So Blu?
03-01-14, 09:40 AM
Tatum looks fine, calm down nerds.



:thumbsup:

Dr. DVD
03-01-14, 11:39 AM
Like the Matrix before it, this looks like it has a heavy Anime influence. I predict it will do a lot better overseas than stateside.

RocShemp
03-01-14, 07:41 PM
I'm in the extreme minority because I like how Tatum looks in this.

Dr. DVD
03-02-14, 09:42 AM
While this seems locked into a Summer release date, I think early November might be a better time. This just doesn't seem like it can hold on during the summer. Of course if it winds up sucking it will most likely bomb no matter what.

The Bus
03-02-14, 09:55 AM
If this cracks 45 on Metacritic, I will be shocked. Shocked.

Dr. DVD
03-02-14, 12:50 PM
Seems very Dune like to me, and I'm talking Jodorowksy, not Lynch. Star power will have to be the driving force behind this movie's marketing, as most people now think the Matrix series sucks and it's not an established franchise.

OldBoy
03-02-14, 01:17 PM
it didn't necessarily look bad. just looks like it might get complicated for a mass market. hope that isn't the case though...

Supermallet
03-02-14, 01:45 PM
I think it looks great.

RichC2
03-02-14, 02:16 PM
Tatum looks fine, calm down nerds.

He looks tremendously silly. But considering how distracting much of the make-up is in Cloud Atlas, I am not overly surprised.

The movie itself looks like a high budget rendition of a cheesy 80s Sci-fi movie you'd see on HBO. It'll probably be entertaining to an extent but doesn't look "good" in the traditional sense, at all. The action looks especially bad.

Why So Blu?
03-26-14, 07:32 PM
New trailer. I think it still looks awesome.


<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/gkNEi4Y0bnE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Solid Snake
03-26-14, 07:43 PM
This keeps looking better. Wonder if Bean dies in this?

Dr. DVD
03-26-14, 09:46 PM
The second trailer looks pretty good, especially on my big TV. I've learned the best way to view these is through the YouTube channel on my PS3.

The production and character/creature design look top notch. Like a lot of sci-fi artists' renderings thrown together in a movie. That could be good or bad. Will reserve judgment.

TheMovieman
06-03-14, 07:54 PM
‘Jupiter Ascending’ Delayed Until February, 2015

Warner Bros. has delayed the Andy and Lana Wachowski movie “Jupiter Ascending” from July 18 to Feb. 6, 2015.

The studio did not give a reason for pulling the sci-fier from the summer schedule a mere seven weeks before its opening.

http://variety.com/2014/film/news/jupiter-ascending-delayed-until-february-2015-1201211461/

Supermallet
06-03-14, 07:56 PM
Oh, ouch.

On the plus side, I'll now be able to see this one in the theater!

Artman
06-03-14, 08:19 PM
Huge move...can't be any worse than what woud've happened in July though. This thing was heading for bomb of the summer. Maybe they can craft a trailer that looks more appealing...

Party at Fox studios with 'Planet of the Apes' having more breathing room now..

Why So Blu?
06-03-14, 08:22 PM
Bummer. Looks like they took my advice about it being a crowded summer.

TheMovieman
06-03-14, 08:24 PM
Apparently it's due to VFX:
http://www.deadline.com/2014/06/wachowskis-jupiter-ascending-delay-summer-2015-wb/

RocShemp
06-03-14, 09:19 PM
This keeps looking better. Wonder if Bean dies in this?

Based on the second trailer, he makes it to pretty much the climax of the movie. However, I'd be shocked if he doesn't bite it before the end credits role.

RocShemp
06-03-14, 09:20 PM
‘Jupiter Ascending’ Delayed Until February, 2015



http://variety.com/2014/film/news/jupiter-ascending-delayed-until-february-2015-1201211461/

Apparently it's due to VFX:
http://www.deadline.com/2014/06/wachowskis-jupiter-ascending-delay-summer-2015-wb/

It's probably to convert the movie to 3D and add more scenes of Channing Tatum before his character is killed off 15 minutes into the movie.

fumanstan
06-03-14, 09:38 PM
Makes sense, agree that it would be a bomb this summer. For a movie that was supposed to be a month away, there sure hasn't been much marketing out there for it.

Jaymole
06-04-14, 07:11 AM
The test screenings must have gone very badly.

With their track record over the past few years, I have a feeling the Wachowskis are going to have a much smaller budget next time around.

Next up for them....The Christine Jorgensen Story

inri222
06-04-14, 07:52 AM
With their track record over the past few years, I have a feeling the Wachowskis are going to have a much smaller budget next time around.

Film.............................Budget__________Gross

Cloud Atlas ..................$102,000,000_____$27,108,272
Speed Racer.................$120,000,000_____$43,945,766
V for Vendetta...............$ 54,000,000_____$70,000,000
The Matrix Revolutions....$110,000,000_____$139,313,948
The Matrix Reloaded.......$150,000,000_____$281,576,461


Next up for them....The Christine Jorgensen Story

:lol:

Shannon Nutt
06-04-14, 08:00 AM
Apparently it's due to VFX:
http://www.deadline.com/2014/06/wachowskis-jupiter-ascending-delay-summer-2015-wb/

That's BS...if it were really just the F/X, they'd push it to Christmas.

Here's the stupid thing though - it's still likely to get more money during the summer than in February, even though it will have less competition then. Studios never seem to 'get' that. Imagine how much more the latest JACK RYAN flick would have made had Paramount been smart enough to hold it until summer. It certainly would have made more than $50 million.

Osiris3657
06-04-14, 08:48 AM
Film.............................Budget__________Gross

Cloud Atlas ..................$102,000,000_____$27,108,272
Speed Racer.................$120,000,000_____$43,945,766
V for Vendetta...............$ 54,000,000_____$70,000,000
The Matrix Revolutions....$110,000,000_____$139,313,948
The Matrix Reloaded.......$150,000,000_____$281,576,461




:lol:


You didn't include the foreign box office earnings. The Wachowskis have made a lot of money overseas.

Speed Racer ($50MM, $93MM Total) & Cloud Atlas ($104MM, $132MM Total).

The Matrix trilogy was huge overseas.

FYI, V for Vendetta was not directed by the Wachowskis.

RichC2
06-04-14, 08:50 AM
Speed Racer was a flop any way you dish it. Cloud Atlas was independently financed and I think they made most of their money back pre-release.

Osiris3657
06-04-14, 08:52 AM
My point was foreign box office matters, so the movies didn't bomb as badly as his post suggests.

inri222
06-04-14, 10:15 AM
You didn't include the foreign box office earnings. The Wachowskis have made a lot of money overseas.

Speed Racer ($50MM, $93MM Total) & Cloud Atlas ($104MM, $132MM Total).

The Matrix trilogy was huge overseas.

FYI, V for Vendetta was not directed by the Wachowskis.

I thought you had to double your budget in order to break even?
Cloud Atlas cost 102M and made 126M (27M domestic & 99M overseas)
Speed Racer cost 120M and made 94M (44M domestic & 50M overseas)

Yes the Matrix was huge and it was over 10 years ago since the last film.
I know they didn't direct V for Vendetta but as writers/producers and using their assistant director to direct it, their fingerprints are all over it.

Why So Blu?
06-04-14, 10:24 AM
Cloud Atlas was also financed independently (the most expensive independent film of all time, I think).

Solid Snake
06-04-14, 11:02 AM
It was.

Really interesting how they rounded up that money. Love it or hate it. It was a film to see due to its uniqueness.

Why So Blu?
06-04-14, 11:30 AM
It was.

Really interesting how they rounded up that money. Love it or hate it. It was a film to see due to its uniqueness.

I loved the flick. The Blu-ray is stellar.

inri222
06-04-14, 11:32 AM
Cloud Atlas was also financed independently (the most expensive independent film of all time, I think).

3 German production companies, German government funded institutions for film & a bit of money from the directors.

Dr. DVD
06-10-14, 05:49 PM
Literally speaking , the Star Wars prequels were independent movies.

I read that the main reason for this was the lackluster numbers for Edge of Tomorrow, which is struggling despite good reviews. I don't think WB saw this one generating as good a buzz and didn't want to have it open lackluster during the summer and then be all but forgotten in less than a week. Basically, they didn't want two sci-fi flops on their hands. Their new position has the movie opening during a time where it could very well stay in play for a while. Given that it opens a week after the Super Bowl, I would wager we see a spot during the game.

hanshotfirst1138
06-10-14, 09:06 PM
Independent films financed by an independently wealthy billionaire.

Ash Ketchum
06-11-14, 06:24 AM
I thought you had to double your budget in order to break even?


The rule of thumb is two-and-a-half-times your budget just to break even, although that can increase when the marketing budget is really high as it is with films like EDGE OF TOMORROW.

Troy Stiffler
06-11-14, 07:40 AM
Ugh. Just leave it alone and release it.

Showing your high-concept sci-fi film to a test audience must be the worst.

Let the directors release what they put together. Has re-tooling a film ever made it better or more successful?

inri222
06-11-14, 08:14 AM
Independent films financed by an independently wealthy billionaire.

5 billion net worth to be exact.

dex14
09-25-14, 12:59 PM
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/6Zy8HexagEE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Solid Snake
09-25-14, 01:04 PM
Who is the wimpy bitch guy who wants to have Earth?

Chadm
09-25-14, 01:58 PM
wow, easily the best trailer so far.

fumanstan
09-25-14, 02:05 PM
Who is the wimpy bitch guy who wants to have Earth?

Channing Tatum?

:)

Ash Ketchum
09-25-14, 02:39 PM
I'm not buying Tatum and Kunis in those roles. They look like TV actors. You need some real stars in there, not these two.

Looking at that trailer, I now wish they'd turned the script over to an anime company (Madhouse? Production I.G.?) and done it as an animated feature. That would have got me more excited than this. :sad:

RocShemp
09-25-14, 03:46 PM
Awesome trailer. I wish the movie was coming out [I]this[/] year.

I'm not buying Tatum and Kunis in those roles. They look like TV actors. You need some real stars in there, not these two.

Looking at that trailer, I now wish they'd turned the script over to an anime company (Madhouse? Production I.G.?) and done it as an animated feature. That would have got me more excited than this. :sad:

I wouldn't be anywhere near as excited to see this if it were an anime feature.

GoldenJCJ
09-25-14, 04:06 PM
Who is the wimpy bitch guy who wants to have Earth?
Eddie Redmayne? You might recognize him from Les Miserables a couple years ago.

Shazam
09-25-14, 04:16 PM
Huh. This movie has a plot.

Solid Snake
09-25-14, 04:22 PM
Eddie Redmayne? You might recognize him from Les Miserables a couple years ago.

riiiiiiiiiiight. Ok. Got ya.

RocShemp
09-25-14, 06:45 PM
Eddie Redmayne? You might recognize him from Les Miserables a couple years ago.

Yeah, I never watched that. He looks familiar but I dunno where I might have seen him before.

Why So Blu?
09-25-14, 07:34 PM
New trailer looks fucking awesome! Bring on the flying lizard men!

Ash Ketchum
09-26-14, 09:47 AM
Awesome trailer. I wish the movie was coming out [I]this[/] year.



I wouldn't be anywhere near as excited to see this if it were an anime feature.

You and 99% of the American audience. :sad:

SPiRAL
09-26-14, 12:19 PM
I know someone super close to the movie, and even he says its horrible.

Dr. DVD
09-26-14, 12:20 PM
New trailer actually makes it look interesting. Kind of excited now.

fumanstan
09-26-14, 01:28 PM
I know someone super close to the movie, and even he says its horrible.

Channing Tatum?

:)

RocShemp
09-26-14, 01:42 PM
Channing Tatum?

:)

I'm guessing Mickey Rourke. I just had no idea he was in this movie.

starseed1981
09-26-14, 01:46 PM
The trailer looks stellar. But with the reincarnation speech in it I guess I have to prepare to be bashed over the head with the Wachowski's love o philosophy again. Still, with two major sequences being filmed right outside my condo (literally) I'm excited to see it.

Ash Ketchum
09-26-14, 02:23 PM
Still, with two major sequences being filmed right outside my condo (literally) I'm excited to see it.

They have condos on Jupiter?! That's awesome!!!

sven
09-26-14, 02:44 PM
Channing Tatum can't even make simple exposition sound even half way believable. I couldn't even finish the trailer.

RocShemp
09-26-14, 03:14 PM
They have condos on Jupiter?! That's awesome!!!

I'm pretty sure Jupiter is Mila Kunis' character. She ascends from living in a ratty apartment to a pricey condo. ;)

Solid Snake
09-26-14, 03:43 PM
Yeah. That's kind of my worry. Tatum comes off pretty flat. So do some of the other actors. Still keen on this thing cuz it's The Wachowskis but....I'm hopeful for a good flick.

TheMovieman
01-08-15, 01:04 PM
Batman vs. Superman teaser supposedly will debut before Jupiter Ascending.

Kal-El
01-08-15, 01:26 PM
Anybody else here ever read Dragonlance? Because that lizard henchman is the perfect realization of a Draconian.

Dr. DVD
01-08-15, 08:25 PM
I hope what looks to be a "hammy" performance in this doesn't hurt Redmayne's shot at the Oscar.

Ash Ketchum
01-28-15, 11:09 AM
Warners foolishly previewed this at Sundance:

http://variety.com/2015/film/news/jupiter-ascending-debuts-to-muted-crowd-at-sundance-1201417130/#comment-list-wrapper

Here's a quote:

The invitation-only event, which was not billed as a premiere, was the first time “Jupiter Ascending” was shown to the public. Variety broke news of the screening on Tuesday afternoon, but there were other clues the audience wasn’t about to see a typical Sundance indie.

When attendees with tickets arrived at the Egyptian Theater in Park City, they were handed 3D glasses.

Despite the hype of a secret screening, clusters of seats inside the 300-person venue remained empty, and a handful of patrons walked out of the two-hour-plus space epic starring Mila Kunis as a princess and Channing Tatum as an intergalactic soldier tasked with rescuing her.

The Wachowskis’ flair was fully on display, with sequences reminiscent of “The Matrix” or “Star Wars.” But when the film ended, the usually gracious Sundance audience didn’t clap at the closing credits.

“I hated it,” said one of the festival’s volunteers, who asked not to be identified for fear of irking Sundance. “It’s just ridiculous.”

Her husband was more forgiving. “It’s a combination of a whole bunch of things wrapped into one,” he said.

Neville Kiser, a screenwriter, thought the movie was hurt by the fact that it was debuting at a venue for highbrow films. “I actually liked it,” Kiser said. “But the Sundance context is weird. There were so many people in the audience scoffing and sneering. They are forgetting they are watching a movie targeted primarily to teenage boys. I’m sure those 15-year-old boys, and hopefully girls, will like it.”

The film’s co-directors and stars were not in attendance. One industry expert speculated that the discombobulated story would mean that Warner Bros., which spent $175 million on the film, would lose a significant chunk of money.

RocShemp
01-28-15, 11:11 AM
I could understand them screening Cloud Atlas at Sundance but this is clearly a popcorn film. -ohbfrank-

islandclaws
01-28-15, 11:25 AM
As terrible as this movie has looked, I will give WB credit for a drastic shift in marketing after pulling it from last year's slate. The newer trailer I saw a month or two ago was far more interesting than the bland, world-building, exposition-heavy trailers that originally debuted.

Still gonna bomb, though.

sauce07
01-28-15, 12:04 PM
Yeah, horrible audience to show the movie to. Those people are in a different mindset.

Why So Blu?
01-28-15, 12:16 PM
Fucking hipsters.

EddieMoney
01-28-15, 12:18 PM
Fucking mouth breathers.

RichC2
01-28-15, 12:29 PM
Fucking movie goers.

EddieMoney
01-28-15, 12:30 PM
Fucking movies.

Jaymole
01-28-15, 12:32 PM
This was almost as worse of a choice than when New Line previewed Hedwig and the Angry Inch at the Republican National Convention.

Oh, and fucking T.A. Edison

EddieMoney
01-28-15, 12:33 PM
This was almost as worse of a choice than when New Line previewed Hedwig and the Angry Inch at the Republican National Convention.

You are not remembering correctly. It was actually "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert," and was several years prior.

PatD
01-28-15, 02:11 PM
When was the last time a movie directed by the Wachowskis turned a profit? 2003?

Ash Ketchum
01-28-15, 02:27 PM
This was almost as worse of a choice than when New Line previewed Hedwig and the Angry Inch at the Republican National Convention.



Aah, so that's what the empty chair represented.

inri222
01-28-15, 02:35 PM
When was the last time a movie directed by the Wachowskis turned a profit? 2003?

Correct

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Shannon Nutt
01-28-15, 02:41 PM
When was the last time a movie directed by the Wachowskis turned a profit? 2003?

In their defense, this is only the third movie they've directed since 2003.

kenbuzz
01-28-15, 03:07 PM
- Didn't know much about or even knew the film was in production
- Saw the trailer on TV - was intrigued
- Tracked it down online... lots of Sean Bean action shots, but his name isn't even legible on the poster
- Concluded that Bean's character will die early in the film.

DaveyJoe
01-28-15, 03:09 PM
Look at Sherlock Fucking Holmes deducing that Sean Bean will die in a movie.

RocShemp
01-28-15, 05:47 PM
- Concluded that Bean's character will die early in the film.

Based on one of the later trailers, I think he dies during the climax or just before it. But either way it's a safe bet that he's dead by the end of it.

Dr. DVD
01-28-15, 08:16 PM
Maybe next year they will screen a new Transfomers movie...

RocShemp
01-28-15, 09:10 PM
Maybe next year they will screen a new Transfomers movie...

I would actually love to read the remarks of a Sundance crowd to that kind of premier. :lol:

Goldberg74
01-28-15, 09:11 PM
Warners foolishly previewed this at Sundance:

http://variety.com/2015/film/news/jupiter-ascending-debuts-to-muted-crowd-at-sundance-1201417130/#comment-list-wrapper

Here's a quote:Her husband was more forgiving. “It’s a combination of a whole bunch of things wrapped into one,” he said.
That right there... that's the downfall of society as we know it.

Why So Blu?
01-28-15, 09:47 PM
Terry Gilliam has a role in JA.

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/13696_831311170261032_9012223476459329120_n.png?oh=c3a9a020037167f8d6f5b063534e78eb&oe=555BA8EC

Matthew Chmiel
01-28-15, 10:14 PM
Look, I'll go to my grave defending Speed Racer and stating its one of the most underrated films of our time. I just don't think Sundance is the best place to debut a $175M "blockbuster." Especially one that was scheduled to be out seven months ago.

I use blockbuster in quotes as I think both this and Seventh Son (which is also getting an IMAX release on the same day :lol:) are going to tank. The Wachowskis haven't had a hit since The Matrix Trilogy and I am still surprised Warner gives them blank checks to do whatever (I get that Cloud Atlas was financed outside of the studio system, but Warner took care of advertising and distribution just to keep the family at Warner).

Hey, remember when Seventh Son was supposed to be released on February 15, 2013? :lol:

whotony
01-28-15, 11:44 PM
Seems very Dune like to me, and I'm talking Jodorowksy, not Lynch. Star power will have to be the driving force behind this movie's marketing, as most people now think the Matrix series sucks and it's not an established franchise.

Was my thought exactly, before seeing that post.

I probably won't see it at the movies but will at home.
Looks really interesting but so did Cloud Atlas. hmm

dex14
02-03-15, 07:13 AM
So it opens this week. What do you think? Another bomb for the Wachowskis?

Deftones
02-03-15, 07:16 AM
So it opens this week. What do you think? Another bomb for the Wachowskis?

I think there's no doubt this bombs massively.

Troy Stiffler
02-03-15, 07:17 AM
I think it looks good. I'll see it. Probably this weekend.

Who knows if it'll profit. Ungrounded sci-fi is always risky. When it goes too far out there, people can't connect.

Jaymole
02-03-15, 07:38 AM
I just can't see this doing well....

Osiris3657
02-03-15, 07:58 AM
I have free screening passes for tonight but I'm not sure I'm going to take advantage of it.

RichC2
02-03-15, 08:12 AM
Currently at 30% on rottentomatoes, looking like it might be as bad as it looks.

Solid Snake
02-03-15, 08:41 AM
Damn.

Why So Blu?
02-03-15, 09:37 AM
I'll be seeing this in theaters but until next week.

Ash Ketchum
02-03-15, 09:45 AM
Terry Gilliam has a role in JA.

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/13696_831311170261032_9012223476459329120_n.png?oh=c3a9a020037167f8d6f5b063534e78eb&oe=555BA8EC

I thought you were joking, but, yeah, he's in it and if you say that's him, I believe it. Too bad he didn't direct it.

Ash Ketchum
02-03-15, 09:54 AM
Variety's negative review, by Peter Debruge:

http://variety.com/2015/film/reviews/film-review-jupiter-ascending-1201421867/

First and last paragraphs:
In “Cloud Atlas,” the Wachowskis wildly overreached while tackling the notion of reincarnation via a daring, genre-spanning nonlinear narrative that challenged the very limits of conventional storytelling. Now, with “Jupiter Ascending,” the subject arises once again, albeit in the most banal, been-there-done-that way imaginable: as a garish, “Phantom Menace”-esque space opera in which a lowly Russian cleaning lady (Mila Kunis) is born with DNA identical to that of the most powerful woman in the universe. The movie refers to this statistical improbability as a “recurrence,” which could also describe the painfully familiar feeling we get from watching the Wachowskis fail once again, this time on an unrecoverable $175 million budget, despite whatever boost Imax 3D ticket sales can add.

It all comes down to a problem of world-building, a skill at which the Wachowskis excelled on “The Matrix.” But their weaknesses were revealed soon after in the “Matrix” sequels, where the sheer scale of the project overwhelmed their ability to focus in on the core narrative. Here, buried under decibels of deafening score (from J.J. Abrams’ favorite composer, Michael Giacchino, working without the solid underlying musical theme of his Pixar and “Star Trek” work), the movie zips from one dazzling setting to another, back and forth between Earth and Jupiter and who knows where else. No sooner have the Wachowskis built it than intergalactic rescue dog Caine comes crashing through walls to tear it all down. Hard to believe, but for all the Abrasax’s technological superiority, it takes just one small hole in the ceiling to bring an entire refinery city crumbling to the ground, and while it all looks quite stunning, the Wachowskis really should have spent that extra six months on development, focusing on the script rather than the visuals. After this debacle, it will be a long time before the kind of recurrence where anyone trusts the duo with a budget anywhere near this scale again.

dex14
02-03-15, 10:08 AM
I guess we're going to get that 4th Matrix film to recoup the costs :lol:

Ash Ketchum
02-03-15, 02:37 PM
A review roundup from CriticWire:

http://blogs.indiewire.com/criticwire/jupiter-ascending-reviews-it-could-end-the-wachowskis-career-but-theyd-be-going-out-with-a-bang-20150203

The columnist's (Sam Adams) opening paragraph may be the most hopeful thing yet written about this film:

There are, no doubt, people who sneer at the idea of a movie in which Mila Kunis plays a Russian cleaning lady whose DNA makes her fated to save the universe and Channing Tatum plays a flying man-dog. One can only pity them. As expected, the reviews for Andy and Lana Wachowski's "Jupiter Ascending" range between goggle-eyed and gobsmacked, with critics either charmed by its over-the-top antics or bemoaning its nonsensical gibberish — either of which, frankly, sounds pretty good in the doldrums of February, to which the movie was pushed after being originally scheduled to open in summer 2014. That's not usually a good sign, but where the Wachowskis are concerned, being considered too weird for blockbusters season can only be considered a compliment. (The only people unhappy with the movie might be Eddie Redmayne's team, who are busy swatting down the notion that his campy turn as "Jupiter's" villain might put a dent in his Oscar hopes for "The Theory of Everything.") The only truly worrying notices are those that accuse it of pulling its punches, of being not an "epic folly" but a rote sci-fi action movie with a few highly unusual touches. It's still hard to believe that a movie whose central character is named Jupiter Jones could be accused of being dull, but we'll know more once the second round of reviews breaks after tonight's screenings.

fumanstan
02-03-15, 02:58 PM
I'm still cautious on this despite some early negative reviews, as Speed Racer ended up with a 39% but I thought that movie was excellent. I'm worried that the Wachowski's, like the Matrix sequels, will think they created a far more interesting world and lore then they actually did though :(

dex14
02-05-15, 08:28 AM
I was planning on seeing... but I just don't really feel like it anymore. I was only really going to see it because of The Wachowskis... not because I actually thought it looked any good. The reviews have torn it apart (not that I usually rely on those). Maybe I'll try and track down a theatre playing Still Alice this weekend instead.

RichC2
02-05-15, 08:29 AM
I'd rather take the chance and see this on the big screen than Still Alice, which is good but is probably just as good at home.

At least here you're paying to see a spectacle that makes good use of a massive screen, and not much else.

dex14
02-05-15, 08:40 AM
I'd rather take the chance and see this on the big screen than Still Alice, which is good but is probably just as good at home.

At least here you're paying to see a spectacle that makes good use of a massive screen, and not much else.

Completely agree on those aspects... but I'm not really in the mood to sit through this I guess.

Solid Snake
02-05-15, 03:52 PM
Jesus. My Cinemark is usually game for whatever but they really aren't supporting this film. Only 4 showings tomorrow.

Ash Ketchum
02-05-15, 04:40 PM
I would go see a Mila Kunis/Channing Tatum movie as long as Jennifer Lawrence, Scarlett Johansson, Rooney Mara and Jason Statham were also in it.

And Christoph Waltz as Blofeld.

Brack
02-05-15, 05:02 PM
I've enjoyed all the Wachowski films, some more, some less. Their last two movies were great, and even though many here hate the Matrix sequels, they were more entertaining than most sequels usually are.

OldBoy
02-05-15, 05:06 PM
I've enjoyed all the Wachowski films, some more, some less. Their last two movies were great, and even though many here hate the Matrix sequels, but they were more entertaining than most sequels usually are.

i didn't mind them either. grant you i've only seen the sequels once (in theaters), but i remember not hating 2 and kinda entertained by 3...

Dr. DVD
02-05-15, 07:42 PM
I'll check it out for the big screen spectacle. Couldn't be anymore headache inducing than Transformers:Age of Extinction, right?

Solid Snake
02-06-15, 02:42 AM
I'm watching it today at 1pm.

Chadm
02-06-15, 03:00 AM
I loved all 3 Matrix films and Cloud Atlas. Didn't like Speed Racer at all and never saw Bound although I've heard its quite good. Jupiter Ascending looks like a film that lives up to its mixed reviews. I'll probably see it in theaters either way.

james2025a
02-06-15, 06:18 AM
I liked Bound, loved the first Matrix, hated the sequels and Speed Racer was just a big WTF. Cloud Atlas i think was extremely well done and deserved more credit.

Jupiter Ascending has been on my Meh list for a while, but now its released i have to admit that i am tempted to see it. I read a review by Harry Knowles on Aintitcool and he spouted his usual crap and praised it with his tongue firmly in the backsides of the Wachowskis. That has given me second thoughts as i don't trust a word that fat ginger douche says. The only reason i go to that site anymore is to read the talkbacks regarding his flagrant fraud.

RocShemp
02-06-15, 06:44 AM
What "flagrant fraud"? Is he not really fat? Or not really a ginger?

Solid Snake
02-06-15, 08:32 AM
Is he talking about that fat fuck losing money and etc? Didn't he buy a house or something when he was supposedly going poor?

gmanca
02-06-15, 08:35 AM
The very best thing I can say about this movie is that it kept my interest; I kept watching for all of the influences like the 1981 Flash Gordon guards and the wedding or the Dune family/harvesting conflicts or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy bureaucracy or the Island of Dr Moreau hybrids.

It is basically a film of all other scifi films' elements wrapped around Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I'm not kidding, you can pick any scifi film and you will find a reference or idea from it. It plays almost as an homage to the genre. If you have any interest it's worth seeing because the Wachowskis, at the very least, make movies to see in theaters. The scope and design are top notch.

Solid Snake
02-06-15, 08:42 AM
sooooo...was it good?

gmanca
02-06-15, 08:47 AM
sooooo...was it good?

I don't know yet I'm still thinking about it. You can tell it's been cut as there's some abrupt changes but from what is there, it's not a terrible movie like the critics are saying.

I think this will be just like Speed Racer and once people digest it on home video, it will grow an audience.

Solid Snake
02-06-15, 09:00 AM
...hrmm.

I never saw Speed Racer till BD less than a year ago. It didn't attract me. And it is a good movie. I get the point of why they did what they with it in terms of CGI and whatnot but it wasn't my visual style for certain parts. Good action though. Cloud Atlas was fucking great. A film that really really needed to be made to stand out from the pack. Love The Matrix. Like Reloaded. *cough* I... tolerate... Revolutions. Damn, Zion. That place is so fucking boring. Bound was good.

d2cheer
02-06-15, 11:49 AM
Our paper (Minneapolis Star Tribune) gave this 0 Stars out of 4. Again I don't give one rats ass about theatrical movie reviews but I have never seen that in our paper before. :lol:

Deftones
02-06-15, 12:04 PM
here's another scathing review: http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/dodge-this-the-confounding-lousy-jupiter-ascending-r-1684172129/+robharvilla

Rival11
02-06-15, 12:19 PM
MSN's review is pretty positive - even with the author pointing out its shortcomings:

http://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/reviews/jupiter-ascending-review-an-impassioned-defense-of-the-wachowskis-space-epic/ar-AA8W4Ik

inri222
02-06-15, 12:59 PM
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/jupiter_ascending_2014/reviews/


- In spite of Andy and Lana Wachowski employing enough effects and CGI artists to populate a mid-sized city, Jupiter Ascending does more descending than ascending.

- It feels like the Wachowskis got bored halfway through their world building and thought they could distract viewers by having Channing Tatum take off his shirt, shoot things and fly around on magic boots for two thirds of the movie.

- The credits for "Jupiter Ascending" acknowledge nearly 1,600 artists, technicians, visual imagineers, and pixel-pushers who have labored mightily to bring this story to life. Their efforts only reveal the underlying conceptual hollowness.

- It's taken 15 years, but the bloated and pitiful Battlefield Earth no longer has to carry the mantle of being the worst big budget science-fiction film of all time.

- Jupiter Ascending is a very special kind of dumb.

- The Wachowskis have collected their last blank check from The Warner Brothers.

hanshotfirst1138
02-06-15, 01:20 PM
I think whatever good will they have from the success of The Matrix is long, long gone. They've been so commercially unsteady I'm surprised that try keep getting budgets this big.

RichC2
02-06-15, 01:36 PM
I think whatever good will they have from the success of The Matrix is long, long gone. They've been so commercially unsteady I'm surprised that try keep getting budgets this big.

Warner apparently approached them about creating it so they're somewhat to blame. But yeah, after Speed Racer it's tough to believe WB would be back for another round. Maybe they thought it was a one off?

Cloud Atlas was independently financed so I guess that doesn't count.

hanshotfirst1138
02-06-15, 05:46 PM
There are some people who think Cloud Atlas was genuinely brilliant. I haven't see it, but it's already something of a cult favorite.

RichC2
02-06-15, 06:27 PM
imo, Cloud Atlas had the chance to be amazing, but missed the mark quite spectacularly. Still liked it enough but the three directors made a lot of head scratching choices.

robin2099
02-06-15, 07:10 PM
Meh. I've always said the Wachowski's were the George Lucas' of the last decade. They had some good smaller films, a great idea for a bigger budget film but they were never able to capture what made their earlier film so popular. I think Warner wants to keep them around though in case they ever decide to do another Matrix.

Troy Stiffler
02-06-15, 07:34 PM
I think Warner wants to keep them around though in case they ever decide to do another Matrix.

If they're keeping tabs, it also helps that they're $1B+ in profits, regardless of the losses.

I'd keep supporting them too. They're out making big budget unique films (even if you claim the storytelling is derivative). Another hit could be another billion dollars. I think they have it in them to make another epic film.



Per Wikipedia:

The Matrix:
Budget $63–65 million
Box office $463.5 million

Matrix Reloaded:
Budget $150 million
Box office $738.6–742.1 million

Matrix Revolutions:
Budget $150 million
Box office $427.3 million

Speed Racer:
Budget $120 million
Box office $93.9 million

Cloud Atlas:
Budget $102 million
Box office $130,482,868

Jupiter Rising:
Budget $176 million
Box office TBD

Total Costs: $763M
Total Revenue: $1.8B

Solid Snake
02-06-15, 07:37 PM
Saw it.

I actually liked it a lot. It didn't really hold your hand into explaining the world in all its glory but only what the characters had to know. It was a very modern take of what I felt was like the old Sci-Fi pulp stories.

I would gripe about some certain jump cuts that probably could have been better in plot had they just put in some more scenes to transition to that jump better. There were like 3, I think.

I have to applaud the stunt work on this. From the stunt guys and Tatum. Tatum probably had a fucking hard time getting some of this gravity boots moments down. They were long and intricate sometimes. From what I read they worked really hard on it. It shows. They got some amazing footage from it.
Action was solid. A LOT of practical mixed in well w/ CGI. Impressive honestly.

I didn't really like the 3 siblings... the minor 2, specifically the girl, were used very little. And the 2nd bro is out of the picture cuz Jupiter says so but then...that's it from him. The main guy annoyed me cuz of his manner and the actor's face. I get how the character may be but that actor just looks weird to me.

Gilliam was fun.

I really like how it felt like a real world, even w/ the BS of societal nature ala the DMV like nature at times. It felt like it had a life beyond what we see. Which is always good.

I'd probably give this a B or a B+.

Not sure what the big gripes are honestly. The siblings and the odd cuts hurt it for me but it's a very great take of a modern Sci-Fi not afraid in leaving without explanation of what we know about exterrestrials within our culture. It shows you something which gives you a basis for what you know but doesn't explain it and moves forward. Very smart move on their part.

I can't wait for the BD.

RocShemp
02-06-15, 08:15 PM
Sounds like what I was hoping it'd be. :up:

james2025a
02-07-15, 07:55 AM
I went to see it last night. Jesus....what a friggin mess of a movie. It was simply awful start to finish. They have taken a large pot, then grabbed aspects of movies like Dune, Star Wars, Soylent Green, Brazil, John Carter, Guardians of the Galaxy...and many others. Throw in a really terrible script, pathetic storyline that is at its heart very simple...but which they bash around and add lots of silly names to make it incoherent at times, lashings of awful acting (Eddie Redmayne is a shoe in for a Razzie for this performance), and the only redeeming feature which is some nice effects.

I was right to not believe Harry Knowles review. This is a $200 million trash heap and i will be surprised if its not a massive bomb. The story is too complex most of the time for kids and too stupid and silly (the names are just some of the worst i have ever heard...and the ideas are so child like in their mentality - splicing bees with a human???? What???) for adults. The characters are all pathetic. Redmayne seems to mostly mumble his lines. I get that he is trying to give off a royal vibe, but it just comes across as lazy and really bad acting. He is weird looking bloke as well which does not help. It also has many scenes that felt really out of place. The whole ode to Brazil scenes of going from one administrative office to another.....it just didn't work. It was tedious, did little to advance the story and was, i felt, just a set up to have a celebrity cameo. All the family scenes with the russians also felt lacking to say the least. Paper thin stereo types.

All i can say is don't waste your time with this mess of a movie. Another nail in the coffin of the Wackowskis.

TGM
02-07-15, 08:47 AM
Lana Wachowski needs to grow his dick back.

RichC2
02-07-15, 09:02 AM
I went to see it last night. Jesus....what a friggin mess of a movie. It was simply awful start to finish. They have taken a large pot, then grabbed aspects of movies like Dune, Star Wars, Soylent Green, Brazil, John Carter, Guardians of the Galaxy...and many others. Throw in a really terrible script, pathetic storyline that is at its heart very simple...but which they bash around and add lots of silly names to make it incoherent at times, lashings of awful acting (Eddie Redmayne is a shoe in for a Razzie for this performance), and the only redeeming feature which is some nice effects.

I was right to not believe Harry Knowles review. This is a $200 million trash heap and i will be surprised if its not a massive bomb. The story is too complex most of the time for kids and too stupid and silly (the names are just some of the worst i have ever heard...and the ideas are so child like in their mentality - splicing bees with a human???? What???) for adults. The characters are all pathetic. Redmayne seems to mostly mumble his lines. I get that he is trying to give off a royal vibe, but it just comes across as lazy and really bad acting. He is weird looking bloke as well which does not help. It also has many scenes that felt really out of place. The whole ode to Brazil scenes of going from one administrative office to another.....it just didn't work. It was tedious, did little to advance the story and was, i felt, just a set up to have a celebrity cameo. All the family scenes with the russians also felt lacking to say the least. Paper thin stereo types.

All i can say is don't waste your time with this mess of a movie. Another nail in the coffin of the Wackowskis.

Harry Knowles, the guy that bashed the hell out of Minority Report and praised the hell out of the Nightmare on Elm Street remake.

Yeah, he has taste.

Shannon Nutt
02-07-15, 10:46 AM
Whether it's a horrible movie or not, I'll never understand why studios remove a film from a weekend where they're going to get more box office (i.e., last summer) and dump it to a place where it will make less box office.

No matter how bad Jupiter Ascending might be, it would have made twice as much (at least) if Warners hadn't pulled it from last summer's schedule.

Now, if the movie has had some re-shoots/editing (it's still 125 minutes, so it doesn't appear to have been cut down), I could understand that...but I've heard nothing of the sort...this seems to be the exact same movie we were supposed to get last July.

Oh, and are there actually people that don't know Harry Knowles is a studio tool by now? ;)

Patman
02-07-15, 01:45 PM
High concepts of planetary ownership, coupled with interplanetary bureaucracy hijinks, and genetic jackpot royalty standards adds up to lot of space opera visuals and cliched intergalactic plot mechanisms, but the script fails in engaging in the stakes of the outcome between the small group of protagonists (characters played by Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, and Sean Bean), and antogonists (amongst them, there is the main one most absurdly played by Eddie Redmayne in an irritating manner), so lots of explosive action, flights of fancy, and chaos show up on the screen, but ultimately a bland meal of sci-fi cinema.

Also, I felt the action scenes lacked any sense of inertia or excitement, so the special effects were not all that special at all, looked rather cheap to my eyes. Some of that has to go to the direction by the Wachowski siblings, all in all, a disappointing effort.

I give it 2 stars or a grade of C.

Troy Stiffler
02-07-15, 01:51 PM
Whether it's a horrible movie or not, I'll never understand why studios remove a film from a weekend where they're going to get more box office (i.e., last summer) and dump it to a place where it will make less box office.

It's about serving demographics and managing competition. You don't want to open Guardians of the Galaxy near Jupiter Ascending. The "good movies" tower over the "risky movies".

robin2099
02-07-15, 02:49 PM
This movie absolutely sucks. What do you get when you take Star Wars, Flash Gordon, Anime, Dune, Highlander 2, The Fifth Element, John Carter, and Masters of the Universe in a blender? You get an embarrassing movie. The plot was simple and yet convoluted as hell. It feels almost like a the final movie in a trilogy that only the Wachowskis saw. The movie was only two hours but it felt like a three hour movie. And don't even get me started on the pointless scenes involving Jupiters family which do nothing but make the movie feel longer and should have been cut.

The acting in this was pretty atrocious. I like Channing Tatum but his role here is really one note and not interesting at all. Milla Kunis is ok but seems bored by the whole thing. The siblings however steal the show. The daughter was subdued, the son was slightly more lively. And the final son was so over the top that this performance is right up there with Jeremy Irons in Dungeons and Dragons and John Travolta in Battlefield Earth.

I will give this movie credit though. It does look nice, and it did have some ok action scenes. Other scenes are so overblown that Michael Bay and Zack Snyder would have their jaws hit the floor because they are so goofy. The costumes were cliche Sci Fi but you can tell that someone did spend a lot of money on this movie. Uhm Milla Kunis has a couple barefoot scenes which were nice.

Overall this is one terrible movie and is easily the worst big budget Sci Fi movie since Battlefield Earth. After this disaster whatever goodwill the Wachowskis have left from the Matrix will definitely be gone. 1.5/5

Why So Blu?
02-07-15, 05:05 PM
What do you get when you take Star Wars, Flash Gordon, Anime, Dune, Highlander 2, The Fifth Element, John Carter, and Masters of the Universe in a blender?

Well, I liked every single one of those, so I'm excited to check it out. I gotta wait a week.

RocShemp
02-07-15, 05:09 PM
Whether it's a horrible movie or not, I'll never understand why studios remove a film from a weekend where they're going to get more box office (i.e., last summer) and dump it to a place where it will make less box office.

Clearly it was to add more Channing Tatum (and convert it to 3D). ;)

Dr. DVD
02-07-15, 06:12 PM
Saw it. Not horrible, but a bit uneven. The tone seemed to lighten a bit in the second half, which I think helped. I wish the whole movie had that sense of fun. Mila Kunis seemed like she was playing a romantic comedy character who got lost in a sci-fi adventure. If that was the intention, then well done, but I doubt it. I hope we might get an extended cut of this some day as I had some trouble following the plot. I think a second viewing on BR will help now that I know who is whom and what they are wanting. I give the movie an A+ for visuals but a C- for story structure.

Defiant1
02-07-15, 11:12 PM
It's on track for an $18M weekend and that is front-loaded with the geek audience. This is going to struggle to make $45M domestic.

Dr. DVD
02-08-15, 12:43 PM
One other problem this movie has is that despite what the previews would suggest, Mila Kunis' character is not a very strong female lead. She's always having to be rescued by Channing Tatum's character like a damsel in distress.

I wonder if the low ticket sales of this movie might make for some future "Family Guy" jokes at Meg's expense? :)

Jackskeleton
02-09-15, 03:38 AM
I completely agree with that. At no point did I even believe Mila's character was set out for any sort of destiny other than to get saved by Magic Mike and his stupid flying sneakers.

Man, what an awful awful piece of shit convoluted mess of a film. This is what happens when you have a shotgun blast of ideas and not a shred of a well thought out plot to tie any of that together.

nando820
02-09-15, 11:42 AM
Lana Wachowski needs to grow his dick back.

:jawdrop: WOW i did not know that. I just IMDB this movie and saw Andy and Lana Wachowski, and I thought "wasn't it two brothers, i guess they have a sister too....

Solid Snake
02-09-15, 12:29 PM
oddly enough... she looks better as a woman than he ever did as a man. not that that means much with either.

Rival11
02-09-15, 03:14 PM
Wow, what a change I just remember him going through the earring phase - Andy doesn't seem to be too excited about it though.

http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/45/74/c2/z12743749Q,Lana-i-Andy-Wachowski-na-premierze--Atlasu-Chmur-.jpg

TGM
02-09-15, 03:43 PM
multi.... PASS.

RichC2
02-10-15, 09:13 AM
This made $32.5m overseas over the weekend. It's worldwide gross is currently at $50.8m.

Gunde
02-10-15, 11:50 AM
... (the names are just some of the worst i have ever heard...
Well, it worked for The Hunger Games and the names in that are even worse.

james2025a
02-10-15, 12:06 PM
Well, it worked for The Hunger Games and the names in that are even worse.

Thats another Sci-fi that blatantly ripped off other movies. I have no love for that series of films. And the less said about Divergent and that series the better. Just horrible movies.

Ash Ketchum
02-10-15, 12:31 PM
Well, it worked for The Hunger Games and the names in that are even worse.

The roughest names in a sci-fi cast of characters are found in Mobile Suit Gundam Seed:

Athrun Zala
Lacus Clyne
Kira Yamato
Dearka Elsman
Flay Allster
Natarle Badgiruel
Patrick Zala
Murrue Ramius
Nicol Amalfi
Miriallia Haw
Cagalli Yula Athha
Muruta Azrael
Tolle Koenig
Mu La Flaga
Sai Argyle
Yzak Joule
Rau Le Creuset


And these have to be spoken by Japanese voice actors!

RichC2
02-10-15, 12:32 PM
Sounds like a weird mix of Japanese and French

RichC2
02-10-15, 12:39 PM
Netflix Chief says "4 hour cut of Cloud Atlas will blow you away", Wachowskis doubt they'll get big studio budgets again (http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/netflix-chief-says-4-hour-cut-of-cloud-atlas-will-blow-you-away-wachowskis-doubt-theyll-get-big-studio-budgets-again-20150210)

“We’ve been lucky. People at studios have been interested in our crazy, strange brand of complexity. And we’ve been allowed to keep making them. Will that continue? Probably not.”

“But it was a good run,” Andy added.

:lol:

Complexity and messy aren't one and the same.

inri222
02-10-15, 12:44 PM
We’ve been lucky. People at studios have been interested in our crazy, strange brand of complexity.

So that's what it is, I can't believe that I'm so stupid. :sarcasm:

Solid Snake
02-10-15, 12:54 PM
The roughest names in a sci-fi cast of characters are found in Mobile Suit Gundam Seed:

Athrun Zala
Lacus Clyne
Kira Yamato
Dearka Elsman
Flay Allster
Natarle Badgiruel
Patrick Zala
Murrue Ramius
Nicol Amalfi
Miriallia Haw
Cagalli Yula Athha
Muruta Azrael
Tolle Koenig
Mu La Flaga
Sai Argyle
Yzak Joule
Rau Le Creuset


And these have to be spoken by Japanese voice actors!

Those are alright names. The Hunger Games names are downright dumbshit.

Why So Blu?
02-10-15, 12:56 PM
Netflix Chief says "4 hour cut of Cloud Atlas will blow you away", Wachowskis doubt they'll get big studio budgets again (http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/netflix-chief-says-4-hour-cut-of-cloud-atlas-will-blow-you-away-wachowskis-doubt-theyll-get-big-studio-budgets-again-20150210)

“We’ve been lucky. People at studios have been interested in our crazy, strange brand of complexity. And we’ve been allowed to keep making them. Will that continue? Probably not.”

“But it was a good run,” Andy added.

:lol:

Complexity and messy aren't one and the same.

I'm down for a 4-hour cut of Cloud Atlas.

Solid Snake
02-10-15, 12:57 PM
I'm totally down for a 4 hour cut of Cloud Atlas. So damn good.

inri222
02-10-15, 01:27 PM
I'm down for a 4 hour cut of <s>Cloud Atlas</s> Bound.

Why So Blu?
02-10-15, 01:31 PM
I'm down for a 4 hour cut of <s>Cloud Atlas</s> Bound.

:lol: :hump:

Me too.

hanshotfirst1138
02-10-15, 02:00 PM
Well, it worked for The Hunger Games and the names in that are even worse.

No way, name a seemingly villainous member of an evil rich society "Plutarch" is subtly at its finest.

EddieMoney
02-10-15, 02:04 PM
Well, it worked for The Hunger Games and the names in that are even worse.

They should transplant these characters into an "Avatar" sequel, and they can go mining for more "unobtainium".

starman9000
02-10-15, 02:33 PM
The roughest names in a sci-fi cast of characters are found in Mobile Suit Gundam Seed:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/haT1yOrEtRs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Obi-Wan Jabroni
02-10-15, 02:35 PM
They should transplant these characters into an "Avatar" sequel, and they can go mining for more "unobtainium".

http://youtu.be/j6znnJ1QISM?t=5m28s

bluetoast
02-10-15, 04:04 PM
They should transplant these characters into an "Avatar" sequel, and they can go mining for more "unobtainium".

Except that unobtanium is actually a scientific term which he used correctly.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unobtainium

Troy Stiffler
02-11-15, 08:53 AM
Four hour Cloud Atlas sounds good to me.

Saw Jupiter last night. So many big effects. A very unique world brought the screen. From the directors of The Matrix. And yet not one great sensorific moment in the whole movie.

There were no fantastic introductions, reveals, twists, revelations or payoffs.

RocShemp
02-11-15, 10:15 AM
I have Cloud Atlas on BD and I love it. Dunno what benefit an extra 68 minutes could be to what already felt like a complete and well paced movie (despite its length) but I'd be willing to give it a shot.

inri222
02-11-15, 10:18 AM
I heard someone call Jupiter Ascending this generations Waterworld.

Why So Blu?
02-11-15, 10:22 AM
I heard someone call Jupiter Ascending this generations Waterworld.

I find Waterworld entertaining. Both cuts of that film.

Jackskeleton
02-12-15, 01:53 PM
Why so full of bad taste?

;)

RocShemp
02-12-15, 01:59 PM
I enjoy Waterworld as well. It's a cheesy Mad Max 2 (ON WATER!) rip-off that doesn't make much sense (if the world is covered in water, why is everyone covered in dirt?) but it's an entertaining B (or C+) movie diversion.

RocShemp
02-12-15, 08:06 PM
The pics didn't work for some reason so let me try this again.

This article cracked me up. And, although I get that it's meant to make fun of the movie, this actually all but confirms my suspicion that the movie is meant as a self-aware homage to the kind of sci-fi cheese fests that were all too commonplace during the 50's.

Jet Boots. Bureaucracy. The Queen of… Space (?) (https://medium.com/the-nib/jupiter-ascending-an-illustrated-recap-6e49fd11f96e)

Jupiter Ascending: an illustrated recap

Okay, so Jupiter Ascending was a massive flop. The $150 million Wachowski space opera fell flat on its face, with a $20 million (estimated) opening weekend — despite the fact that Mila Kunis commands a bee army and Channing Tatum fights an army of winged Godzillas.

Are the Wachowskis done? Have they ever met a real human being that speaks in regular sentences? My illustrated review — spoilers, duh:

https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/989/1*ALXPXzeX_Z-sofQ7TeZYxw.jpeg

The movie starts out with our main character’s parents meeting in Russia. Her father, a guy who seems to be a professor of looking through telescopes, and mother, also a professor, meet-cute on the banks of a river in Russia. We flash forward: mom is pregnant and a bunch of mobsters or communists or robbers or something burst in and start robbing them and he dies trying to save his precious telescope. He really loves telescopes. Mom skips town and gives birth in a shipping container. Gross.

Now we’re in space! On some planet where everyone has clearly been murdered. Eddie Redmayne and some people too pretty to not be evil call it “harvesting” and talk about galactic real estate and their dead mom. Redmayne can only muster a whisper, for some reason, a thing he does the entire movie.

https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/1077/1*Udsj5zLZDmdeSkf_qaMfkA.jpeg

Ok! We’re back on earth, in Chicago. You see the everyday life of Mila Kunis’ Jupiter Jones, who seems to have a job as a toilet cleaner with her aunt and mother- who I suppose left her math doctorate in the shipping container.

We see some people on a rooftop watch Channing Tatum, in Spock ears, walk through a wall. They whisper excitedly to each other about his boots. The wall he’s walked through is some medical clinic, and he figures out a lot of stuff by smelling pieces of paper. This is not the last time in the movie people figure something out by smelling it. I haven’t been working out my nose enough, it appears.

https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/fit/c/1000/1000/1*dopFD3kGlAc33_Yp_fGADQ.jpeg

The people on the roof attack Channing, who turns on his boots because it turns out they are JET BOOTS. He basically speed-skates through the sky to get the hell out of there. I write “JET BOOTS!!!” in my notebook. Don’t worry about seeing the jet boots, because he uses the jet boots about 25 times in this thing. Jet boots.

The entire film (artist’s rendition)https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/800/1*X1pCqeEt3_6duR14h_cpsw.gif

Now, we’re on another planet that looks exactly like the elf city from Lord of the Rings. One of the evil siblings from before talks to a guy named MALEDICTES, who definitely isn’t also evil. The character names in this movie are top-notch.

https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/1118/1*KxpC6D7pUWUFIaO83VBOsQ.jpeg

So it turns out Channing Tatum was at the clinic because Mila Kunis is involved in some weirdo subplot about selling her eggs to get her cousin money, and she’s freaked out about her eggs being “harvested.” Later in the movie, it appears the universe’s one percenters take baths in stem cells made from “harvested” people to remain young forever. So remember: egg donation = genocide.

Mila is gonna use her egg money to buy a telescope. People are just nuts for telescopes in this flick.

So back on Jupiter, (the planet) Whisperin’ Eddie Redmayne tells his army of dragon men that Jupiter (the person) has to die. But just before a team of aliens pretending to be doctors can dispatch her, Channing Tatums pops in out of nowhere and rescues her. He flies off into the night again with his jet boots (jet boots!) holding Mila in his arms, one of many times he will do this.

Before they can get off the planet, Caine (Channing Tatum) and Jupiter get attacked by what look like a bunch of flying crawdads. Chicago gets destroyed. Sorry, Chicago!

https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/1236/1*2hux0OqNBObM4T4DiwXRtg.jpeg

They go to Sean Bean’s house, which is covered in bees. The bees love Mila! He’s not from Earth but has been banished to rural Illinois because Channing Tatum bit a guy once (natch). He says these words with a straight face: “Bees aren’t like humans. Bees don’t lie.”

He tells Mila Kunis she’s queen of space. It’s never quite specified what she’s queen of, but it appears to be the entirety of space. We also find out that Channing Tatum has Spock ears because he’s some sort of space werewolf, and does not have a pack. Bear with me here. He’s a … lone… wolf. Get it? Nice. He and Sean Bean are on a mission… to earn their wings. Literal wings. For flying.

They all get attacked and Jupiter is captured despite commanding a bee army. Channing Tatum doesn’t have a shirt on for an extremely long time, including an intergalactic flight. Jupiter finds out that she’s a genetic duplicate (but not a clone?) of the last queen of space, who was mysteriously murdered and the evil siblings are somehow her 40,000 year-old children. After another chase and a lot more shooting, Mr. Tatum whisks Jupiter off to BUREAUCRACY PLANET where they spend far too much time waiting on lines, and spend some more time talking about galactic real estate law. Jupiter tells Dog-Tatum that she loves dogs in a way that also reads as “I want to fuck,” which is a pretty deft line-reading if you ask me.

https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/1005/1*E9_JJWn_ZsIaI-11jAWjLw.jpeg

Jupiter is whisked away AGAIN by another one of her evil kids who explains to her why humans exist on Earth and it’s very Matrix-y. At this point, we are firmly in the Wachowski Bonkers Nonsense Zone: There’s more double-crosses, plot twists, incest weddings, a billion year-old society that doesn’t understand Nature vs. Nurture, and some remedial capitalism criticism. Wolfman Channing has to crash a spaceship to stop Jupiter from, uh, signing documents — not once, but twice.

The best thing about Jupiter Ascending is how it looks: the worlds are richly imagined and filled out with all sorts of great little details. Don’t believe the un-hype: It’s a doofy campfest but it seems to know it for the most part. It avoids being boring when it could have easily been considering it’s a space opera featuring a montage of people waiting on line at the space DMV.

Come for a man piloting a baroque starship from inside a bathtub, stay for Channing Tatum in elf ears murdering a bunch of guys with guns for arms in luchador masks.

https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/800/1*Al27RV8Czk6goSze8Qcqaw.jpeg

RocShemp
02-12-15, 08:07 PM
Anybody know why the image tags aren't working in my previous post?

RichC2
02-12-15, 08:11 PM
Anybody know why the image tags aren't working in my previous post?

Not really, something with cloudfront or that *

RocShemp
02-12-15, 10:04 PM
Not really, something with cloudfront or that *

Gotcha. Well, all I did was copy-paste the picture URL. I guess nothing doing.

Matthew Chmiel
02-19-15, 02:47 PM
I caught an (empty) IMAX 3D showing of the film the other night.

First and foremost, the film looked gorgeous in IMAX 3D. You could tell the Wachowskis put every dollar up on the screen. Another benefit was the sound mix was the most dynamic I've heard in an IMAX presentation since Underworld: Awakening. Overall, just an awesome auditory and visual experience.

On the other hand, the film is a fucking mess. I thought Cloud Atlas was great and I'll go to my grave saying Speed Racer is one of the most underrated films of the past fifteen years. While the pair of balls on the Wachowskis getting this film even made can be seen from space, the film is a trainwreck in every sense of the word. For every moment that's fun, you get another moment that is eye-rollingly, painfully bad. Its as if the Wachowskis stole ideas from the Disney catalog, every popular science-fiction entity from the past fifty years, and Xanadu and put them all in a blender while setting that bitch on puree.

It's a failure, but at least it's an interesting one.

Why So Blu?
02-19-15, 02:54 PM
Shit, I saw this over the weekend and thought it was alright. The Blu-ray will be fucking phenomenal. I didn't care for Redmayne's character. He always talked in a whisper. Other than that it was cool and vast.

inri222
02-19-15, 02:58 PM
Shit, I saw this over the weekend and thought it was alright. The Blu-ray will be fucking phenomenal.

Only if the movie on the Blu Ray is an alternate version with a different script. :sarcasm:

Why So Blu?
02-19-15, 02:59 PM
Only if the movie on the Blu Ray is an alternate version with a different script. :sarcasm:

No, I meant in terms of DEMO-worthy picture and sound.

;)

james2025a
02-20-15, 05:54 AM
No, I meant in terms of DEMO-worthy picture and sound.

;)

Well that will be good then for retailers wanting to unload some TV's and a general public who will be walking by and at most spend 30 seconds watching snippets of this abortion of a movie. I would consider buying the Blu Ray for $1 if it had decent extras and was a 3D version, but otherwise i will gladly never watch this movie again.

robin2099
02-20-15, 02:49 PM
Well that will be good then for retailers wanting to unload some TV's and a general public who will be walking by and at most spend 30 seconds watching snippets of this abortion of a movie. I would consider buying the Blu Ray for $1 if it had decent extras and was a 3D version, but otherwise i will gladly never watch this movie again.

:thumbsup:

The Bus
02-20-15, 09:40 PM
I saw Jupiter Ascending tonight. I urge all of you to go and see it right now. Take your children.

Mila Kunis plays a Russian cleaning lady who is being bounty hunted by Channing Tatum — a half-wolf man — who surfs on gravity due to the “differential equations” in his boots. She is chased by another set of aliens, sent by Eddie Redmayne, who talks in a whisper and has the stage presence of Cleopatra-era Elizabeth Taylor judging contestants on Project Runway.

They run into Sean Bean, who has a fistfight with Channing Tatum but then it doesn't matter because it turns out bees refuse to sting Mila Kunis which MEANS SHE IS THE SPACE QUEEN.

Now Mila Kunis has to go to space and meet with Eddie Redmayne's sister and Eddie Redmayne's brother who is also attractive but has sex with human dragonflies. Eddie Redmayne moves around in a floating chariot that is actually the body of a black woman and his guards have guns for arms and the other guards who have arms are actually space lizards with wings.

Meanwhile there is a race against time to make sure Mila Kunis has the correct space iPads to make sure she is the Queen but in the meantime she might get tricked into marrying someone at a hologram wedding.

This takes us about halfway through the film and the rest both makes less sense but has you actually caring about a Wachowski's movie's ending since the first Matrix.

It sounds like someone gave an imaginative and precocious 5-year old a strong Irish coffee and some cough medicine and then wrote down everything they said and then took <i>that</i> to a studio executive who demanded a movie be made out of it using $150 million American dollars, no expense be damned.

Please go see it.

Why So Blu?
02-21-15, 01:03 AM
Dude, put that shit in spoilers, bruv!


:sarcasm:

Ash Ketchum
02-21-15, 06:51 AM
I saw Jupiter Ascending tonight. I urge all of you to go and see it right now. Take your children.

Mila Kunis plays a Russian cleaning lady who is being bounty hunted by Channing Tatum — a half-wolf man — who surfs on gravity due to the “differential equations” in his boots. She is chased by another set of aliens, sent by Eddie Redmayne, who talks in a whisper and has the stage presence of Cleopatra-era Elizabeth Taylor judging contestants on Project Runway.

They run into Sean Bean, who has a fistfight with Channing Tatum but then it doesn't matter because it turns out bees refuse to sting Mila Kunis which MEANS SHE IS THE SPACE QUEEN.

Now Mila Kunis has to go to space and meet with Eddie Redmayne's sister and Eddie Redmayne's brother who is also attractive but has sex with human dragonflies. Eddie Redmayne moves around in a floating chariot that is actually the body of a black woman and his guards have guns for arms and the other guards who have arms are actually space lizards with wings.

Meanwhile there is a race against time to make sure Mila Kunis has the correct space iPads to make sure she is the Queen but in the meantime she might get tricked into marrying someone at a hologram wedding.

This takes us about halfway through the film and the rest both makes less sense but has you actually caring about a Wachowski's movie's ending since the first Matrix.

It sounds like someone gave an imaginative and precocious 5-year old a strong Irish coffee and some cough medicine and then wrote down everything they said and then took <i>that</i> to a studio executive who demanded a movie be made out of it using $150 million American dollars, no expense be damned.

Please go see it.

I suspect your post is more entertaining than the film itself.

Rob V
02-21-15, 07:13 AM
I saw Jupiter Ascending tonight. I urge all of you to go and see it right now. Take your children.

Mila Kunis plays a Russian cleaning lady who is being bounty hunted by Channing Tatum — a half-wolf man — who surfs on gravity due to the “differential equations” in his boots. She is chased by another set of aliens, sent by Eddie Redmayne, who talks in a whisper and has the stage presence of Cleopatra-era Elizabeth Taylor judging contestants on Project Runway.

They run into Sean Bean, who has a fistfight with Channing Tatum but then it doesn't matter because it turns out bees refuse to sting Mila Kunis which MEANS SHE IS THE SPACE QUEEN.

Now Mila Kunis has to go to space and meet with Eddie Redmayne's sister and Eddie Redmayne's brother who is also attractive but has sex with human dragonflies. Eddie Redmayne moves around in a floating chariot that is actually the body of a black woman and his guards have guns for arms and the other guards who have arms are actually space lizards with wings.

Meanwhile there is a race against time to make sure Mila Kunis has the correct space iPads to make sure she is the Queen but in the meantime she might get tricked into marrying someone at a hologram wedding.

This takes us about halfway through the film and the rest both makes less sense but has you actually caring about a Wachowski's movie's ending since the first Matrix.

It sounds like someone gave an imaginative and precocious 5-year old a strong Irish coffee and some cough medicine and then wrote down everything they said and then took <i>that</i> to a studio executive who demanded a movie be made out of it using $150 million American dollars, no expense be damned.

Please go see it.

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/264/200/acb.jpg

RocShemp
02-21-15, 10:58 PM
<iframe width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4khlDcpnk7U?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Matthew Chmiel
02-22-15, 12:35 AM
They run into Sean Bean, who has a fistfight with Channing Tatum but then it doesn't matter because it turns out bees refuse to sting Mila Kunis which MEANS SHE IS THE SPACE QUEEN.
Sean Bean knew she was the space queen because he was half man-half bee!

RichC2
04-21-15, 08:00 AM
Watched this. I think it could be re-edited into a fairly entertaining movie.

The Wachowski's forgot the thing that made The Matrix work: That sense of mystery and discovery, they managed to hinge an entire marketing campaign on that, setting out to make a spectacle void of any of that is just bad storytelling.

Plus the spectacle was largely disposable scenes of shooting with high tech weapons and was about as impressive as a B-grade videogame video sequence.

TheMovieman
05-22-15, 01:04 PM
Boiled down when you strip all the BS dialogue and visual effects:

Aliens wanting rights to harvest earthlings.

What a load of crap, but the effects were excellent and it does look and sound fantastic on Blu-ray.

Inhumans99
05-22-15, 02:57 PM
This will be a fun movie to watch when it hits the cable channels.

islandclaws
05-22-15, 03:57 PM
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ShAeafYCqxk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

TheMovieman
05-22-15, 06:30 PM
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ShAeafYCqxk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I needed that just for the plot rundown. :lol:

bluetoast
05-22-15, 06:48 PM
For a minute, I actually forgot whether this came out already.

RocShemp
05-22-15, 11:17 PM
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ShAeafYCqxk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Is it wrong this makes me want to see the movie even more just for the sheer batshit insanity of it?

RichC2
05-22-15, 11:31 PM
It's bat shit crazy, but not bat shit crazy enough to make it entertaining.

TheMovieman
05-22-15, 11:41 PM
It's bat shit crazy, but not bat shit crazy enough to make it entertaining.

Bingo