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Right, so you're this guy named Travis Touchdown who goes to the game store to buy a new game and is out of money, when he is tipped off by this beautiful blond that if he only kills this guy he can get some money. So you go and kill him using the lightsaber you won off an internet auction site and it turns out you've qualified for a no expense paid vacation to try to make it to the top of the assassin ranking by killing ten other assassins.

It's at this point after this very brief set up that Travis turns to you, says, "Hey you, with the Wiimote, Press A" and the game begins.

So right, it's your duty to go around and kill the other 10 assassins to become the top. Each assassin plays off as a separate kind of 2D sidescrolling beatemup except in 3D and ends with an absolutely insane boss fight against the very unique character of said assassin. (Don't worry, though, always before this thus far, there's been a bathroom where you can take a dump on the toilet, which saves your game.) In the meantime you travel around Santa Destroy on foot or on your bike, doing odd things and working up enough money to input into the SANTA DESTROY ATM for the next round of Kill An Assassin and Laugh While Doing It.

The game is extremely heavy on the style if you couldn't tell already. In general, the stages basically do that Prince of Persia swinging camera to show you the next area or set of areas you can travel to, and when you're not beating up thugs with your lightsaber, then you're generally exploding shining treasure chests with the typical beatemup powerups or goodies in them, like good ol' Final Fight, except they have intentionally pixellated 8-bit representations.

Fighting involves pressing A, B and Z and liberal use of Wiimote gestures. A and B mix up your two different main types of attacks and combos. These are further augmented by your holding of the Wiimote, as it determines your stance for attack or defense. Holding up means your attacks are weak, but fast, down more blockable, but more powerful and with a longer reach. Also holding up while using it with the nunchaku employs various pro wrestling finishing moves you can get from pretending to be a badass while watching wrestling videos on your TV at home.

Furthermore it dishes out various killing moves (different from finishing moves) based on which way you swing it once an enemy's health is down. This is really cool, because it feels like you deliver that last brutal sock to the head and it doesn't get tiresome out, because the bulk of combat is button based, so only the most visceral parts are reserved for the Wiimote. It's also cool because if your good and fast enough, you can make more coins float out of the enemy when you kill them. That's right, when you kill enemies in this game they explode into a profusion of 8-bit black blocks of squirmy liquid and a tornado of coins comes out of them and gets sucked into Travis.

Z locks on (with a Duck Hunt 8-bit target) and also you can block, but it eats up the light sabers power so you have to get good at rolling around with the d-pad to avoid attacks and get in positions to get past the enemy's blocking defenses as well.

Besides watching your health, you've got to watch the power of your light saber (which makes all sort of ZARA ZARA UJA UJA sounds out of the Wiimote, BTW, when somebody calls you, you also hold up the Wiimote to your ear as if it were a cellphone). You can replenish this by pressing 1 and then shaking it up and down, that will make Travis masturbate the lightsaber and its energy will go up. You can get upgrades to your lightsaber, that allow it to find hidden items by vibrating when their around or save energy, or buy new beam katanas as they called in the game.

Wiimote actions also come into play giving you ukemi kind of dodges to evade with and with some of the super special secret moves you can earn by taking on the spirits of the seven Killer 7 Smiths in a collection subquest. As well, in the training, where you do things like squats, lifting with dumbbells etc. to increase your energy or combo hits and so on. It also controls the throttle on your motor cycle.

In between the action stages, you can go back to your house, change clothes (you can get new belts, sunglasses, jackets, shirts and pants so far), watch TV and look at your otaku collection you've collected around the game.

You can get part time jobs like "cat-baby-sitting" (evil grin), mowing the lawn, collecting coconuts or cleaning graffiiti by going to The Place of Job Insecurity and registering for one.

Or you can go to Kill Entertainment and sign up for random jobs to kill people like using baseball and bats to kill the fans, or kill the CEO of Pizza Hut. Or you go just get into other sorts of fights.

There are some other diversions like a racing game grand prix and so on, but I wouldn't want to spoil all the fun surprises!

Certainly, this game will definitely choose its players with its freaky graphic style and insane violent humor, but other than the camera being kind of wonky, there's not much I don't like about it. It's like Godhand + Killer7 + Yakuza + Final Fight + a Commodore 64 and I feel its one of those games that proves the Wii can do great things when developers truly exploit it, just like Zack & Wiki and Dragon Quest Swords.

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It's like Godhand + Killer7 + Yakuza + Final Fight + a Commodore 64.

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