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American Idol Season Premiere (Jan 15-16)

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American Idol Season Premiere (Jan 15-16)

Old 01-15-08, 08:33 PM
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I only watch the audition shows, because they're damn funny...but the crowning achievement tonight had to be the fat guy in the Princess Leia Slave-Girl outfit. Single funniest moment since william hung.
Old 01-15-08, 09:04 PM
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Originally Posted by lordzeppelin
I only watch the audition shows, because they're damn funny...but the crowning achievement tonight had to be the fat guy in the Princess Leia Slave-Girl outfit. Single funniest moment since william hung.
That was so many shades of wrong.

OTOH, I made it about an hour before flipping it over to One Tree Hill, but during a commercial break, I was lucky to check out Kristy Lee Cook's audition, hope she can make it to the final 12 (they showed us an inordinate amount of background footage on her).
Old 01-15-08, 10:41 PM
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Originally Posted by lordzeppelin
I only watch the audition shows, because they're damn funny...but the crowning achievement tonight had to be the fat guy in the Princess Leia Slave-Girl outfit. Single funniest moment since william hung.
I like that they made him earn his shameless tv time with excrutiating pain.

Any yeah, I'd like to think the Egyptian guy was real. But he seemed a little too much like an obscenity-free non-rascist Borat for me to quite buy it. I liked the line talking about his girlfriend: "I love her ... from head ... to nipples". His love of Mr. Bee Gees. And leaving Ryan hanging on the fist punch.

Even though it was an obvious attention-grabbing ploy, the stalker song made me laugh. I'm sure that guy's a local stand-up comedian, but I'd give his act a try based on that. And cutting off Simon: "Quiet Simon! Don't ruin the moment."

Despite the fact the producers were trying to make Temptress into one of those feel good stories, I must be a cold-hearted bastard because I wasn't buying into it. Jeez, the mom has health problems? Maybe it's due partly because SHE FREAKIN' WEIGHS 1000 POUNDS! And for the love of god AI production crew ... if ever there was a time to use the "blur" feature (or at least a placeable AI logo), it's when your camera has a clear shot of the cameltoe of a 1000 lb woman But Simon staying rooted in his seat despite Paula's call for a group hug made me

Alexis's (glitter girl from Allentown - you know, like the Bon Jovi song) post-audition fakeness disappointed me. Because her audition really wasn't bad, and for a little bit I was buying into that she was a genuine (but quirky) person. For once she sounded exactly like who she said she sounded like - a cross between Grace Slick and Janis Joplin. Unfortunately for her, Joplin would've gotten killed by AI judges and she really didn't have much of a chance. But the judges seemed reasonable - she probably is better off trying to be a frontwoman for a local rock band instead of AI.

Last edited by brainee; 01-15-08 at 10:45 PM.
Old 01-15-08, 11:21 PM
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I'm not sure if the Glitter Chick was for real or not, but Princess Leia definitely was a psycho.

The Stalker Guy was pretty funny.
Old 01-15-08, 11:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Milo Turk
No sex allowed!
I don't want to be a part of your crowd!
No sex allowed!
If you don't like it, get outta town!
This needs to be on the radio.
Old 01-15-08, 11:30 PM
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Originally Posted by John_Shil
This needs to be on the radio.
Right after:

"If she was a doggie ... I'd walk her,
If she was a blackboard ... I'd chalk her,
If I was Columbo ... I'd Peter Falk her,
If she was a runner at first base ... I'd balk her,
If she a woman on 'Good Times' ... I'd Jimmy Walk-her,
If she was a bathtub ... I'd caulk her,
I guess that makes me ... a stalker."
Old 01-15-08, 11:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Charlie Goose
I'm not sure if the Glitter Chick was for real or not, but Princess Leia definitely was a psycho.
Yeah. She shows up to audition in a Star Wars outfit and then proceeds to whine how the judges couldn't look past her quirkiness.

She acted as if dressing like a weirdo is some sort of disability.
Old 01-16-08, 12:05 AM
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Originally Posted by lordzeppelin
I only watch the audition shows, because they're damn funny...but the crowning achievement tonight had to be the fat guy in the Princess Leia Slave-Girl outfit. Single funniest moment since william hung.

Is it just me, or did he sound like kevin smith.
Old 01-16-08, 12:07 AM
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I loved the arm bar that Kristi lee cook can put as well.

I think she goes far.

The black guy with dreads has a good look/voice, and I bet he goes far as well.
Old 01-16-08, 01:29 AM
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Both glitter girl and her mother scared the everloving shit out of me. I lol'ed at the footage of their 24 square foot apartment, complete with 2 cats and a dog.

It is getting very hard to enjoy these audition episodes, though. It is so old hat by now that even the real horrible auditions barely elicit a yawn from me. The ones tonight seemed like even more of a put-on than in the past.

The best performer we have seen so far, Kristie Lee Cook, is a ringer. Yay.
Old 01-16-08, 06:36 AM
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Kristie Lee Cook - Could win it all.

(ok, so I wanted to post "Will win it all" but the only reason I would do that is to post a reference to this post in the Finale thread in a fwe months).

Seriously, she has a great voice, is attractive, and has a personality that is likeable and not threatening to other women (at least so far).

We'll see.....

Here's the audition until youtube yanks it.


<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/p8hxo--7ehU&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/p8hxo--7ehU&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

And then there's this already...

http://www.votefortheworst.com/forum...edbed6f75733c7

Last edited by Doug Heffernan; 01-16-08 at 06:48 AM.
Old 01-16-08, 07:37 AM
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The other night I got down on my knees, put my hands together in supplication, turned my tear-filled eyes heavenward, and prayed to all that is holy that I would not have to hear another version of "I'm Not Going". Alas! O alas! Thanks for listening, Jesus!
Old 01-16-08, 07:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Doug Heffernan
Kristie Lee Cook - Could win it all.
Just need some sexy, personal photos of her to leak to the internet and I'll have my favorite for the season.

As for the Slave Leia guy, he actually wears that to conventions:


Last edited by Snowmaker; 01-16-08 at 07:45 AM.
Old 01-16-08, 07:49 AM
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That glittrey girl had to have been a man. I swear I saw an Adam's apple.
Old 01-16-08, 07:50 AM
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I want the stalker song and no sex song in regular rotation...
Old 01-16-08, 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Doug Heffernan
Kristie Lee Cook - Could win it all.

(ok, so I wanted to post "Will win it all" but the only reason I would do that is to post a reference to this post in the Finale thread in a fwe months).

Seriously, she has a great voice, is attractive, and has a personality that is likeable and not threatening to other women (at least so far).

We'll see.....

Here's the audition until youtube yanks it.


<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/p8hxo--7ehU&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/p8hxo--7ehU&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

And then there's this already...

http://www.votefortheworst.com/forum...edbed6f75733c7
Yeah, I'm gonna have to go ahead and jump on the bandwagon. As soon as I saw her and heard her sing, I said there's the winner. I know it's early, but she's got the look and she's got the voice. She just looks like an american idol.

On another subject - I must be getting emotional in my old age, because the black, football-playing girl with the mother that resembled the mother from What's Eating Gilbert Grape actually made me sad.
Old 01-16-08, 08:00 AM
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Originally Posted by SexualPudding
It is getting very hard to enjoy these audition episodes, though. It is so old hat by now that even the real horrible auditions barely elicit a yawn from me.
Yet with no alternative for new programming, I'm willing to bet that you and most of America will continue to tune in! Can't wait to see that the numbers were last night!
Old 01-16-08, 08:06 AM
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http://www.kristylee.net/



http://cdbaby.com/cd/kristylee


Last edited by Snowmaker; 01-16-08 at 08:09 AM.
Old 01-16-08, 08:25 AM
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Originally Posted by superdeluxe
Is it just me, or did he sound like kevin smith.
I thought the exact same thing.
Old 01-16-08, 08:37 AM
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Ok, now I don't get it - I thought that if you had a record deal you were ineligible? Kind of takes the fun out of it when the "undiscovered artists" are majorly discovered already.
Old 01-16-08, 08:40 AM
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That Egyptian guy was clearly a Borat-inspired act.

As was the stalker guy. The judges seemed remarkably unalarmed, even when the called for security. Clearly they knew what he was going to do before he did it. The song was quite funny.
Old 01-16-08, 08:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Doug Heffernan
Ok, now I don't get it - I thought that if you had a record deal you were ineligible? Kind of takes the fun out of it when the "undiscovered artists" are majorly discovered already.
She probably just doesn't have a record deal currently. I thought they moved away from the "undiscovered" and were emphasizing the "unsigned" aspect.
Old 01-16-08, 09:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Doug Heffernan
Ok, now I don't get it - I thought that if you had a record deal you were ineligible? Kind of takes the fun out of it when the "undiscovered artists" are majorly discovered already.
http://cdbaby.com/cd/kristylee

After reading the website above I see Kristy's story may be a little untrue.

Seems that she moved to Texas 2 years ago, was signed to a record deal awhile ago and has "Cowboys" in Arlington TX.
Old 01-16-08, 10:43 AM
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I loved the Stalker song, I need that on my iPod!

The Star Wars chick was nuts. I think the Allentown Sparkles was nuts too.

I enjoyed the Egyptian Borat. His huge head, sexy face, and the gap in his teeth.

On the one hand, thank god I have a 70 inch widescreen HDTV, how else could you fit the football girl and her mother on the same screen. On the other hand, why the fuck did I have to see that on a 70 inch widescreen HDTV?!?!?!?!

And the girl who was talking to the Egyptian should win the Philadelphia Chamber of Commerce award for her wonderful representation of the city during her conversation with the Egyptian (I think it was him). Girl: "Do you have any kids?" Egyptian: "I'm not married." Girl: "What, just cause you ain't married don't mean you can't have kids. Welcome to a new town cause that's all that's goin' on around here." Hooray for Philly!!!
Old 01-16-08, 10:45 AM
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I loved when they introduced Football Girl and her mother. I think it was Randy that said "is that your mom in the wheelchair?" NO you dumbass, its that guy with the afro and mustache behind her.

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