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24 fans, can we come up w/ some funny facts about Jack Bauer??

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24 fans, can we come up w/ some funny facts about Jack Bauer??

Old 12-06-05, 01:40 AM
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24 fans, can we come up w/ some funny facts about Jack Bauer??

i've read a ton of those vin diesel and chuck norris facts and they're all really funny

http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty
http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

but i think we should be able to come up w/ some great jack bauer facts???

www.notrly.com/jackbauer
Old 12-06-05, 06:45 AM
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Jack Bauer doesn't need a watch. Time follows him.
Old 12-06-05, 07:47 AM
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Jack Bauer attracts terrorists like his daughter attracts psychos and mountain liions.
Old 12-06-05, 07:55 AM
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Jack Bauer can get anywhere in minutes... seconds.
No matter what the traffic situation is.

Jack Bauer's cell phone has incredible range... and batteries.
He never needs to recharge.
Old 12-06-05, 09:09 AM
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Jack Bauer is played by Keifer Shuterland.
Old 12-06-05, 09:50 AM
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While undercover, Jack Bauer once killed 100 babies to prove his loyalty to a terrorist organization, then killed all the terrorists with a pencil and two rolls of Scotch tape.
Old 12-06-05, 10:16 AM
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Jack Bauer doesn't need to go to the bathroom.
Old 12-06-05, 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by IDrinkMolson
Jack Bauer doesn't need to go to the bathroom.
I was thinking something along those lines as well...

"With Jack Bauer, time does not go to waste...nor does he produce any."
Old 12-06-05, 10:56 AM
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Jack Bauer ought to know by now that everything bad happens on the hour!
Old 12-06-05, 11:10 AM
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Jack Bauer can say "Tell me where the bomb is" 20 times in one episode.
Old 12-06-05, 11:22 AM
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As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"
Old 12-06-05, 11:30 AM
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Jack Bauer's unique digestive system craps out bullets, providing a neverending supply of ammunition.
Old 12-06-05, 11:43 AM
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To prove that he was over Audrey Raines, Jack Bauer had sex with her dead husband.
Old 12-06-05, 11:48 AM
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Jack Bauer is a candy ass compared to Jack Bristow.
Old 12-06-05, 11:56 AM
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Jack Bauer does not shave. Once his beard grows long enough, he uses his hacksawing skills to cut one hair. The rest fall out by themselves.
Old 12-06-05, 11:58 AM
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If Jack Bauer ever had to torture God to get information, he would. Jack Bauer must protect CTU at all costs!
Old 12-06-05, 12:02 PM
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Originally Posted by kenny79
To prove that he was over Audrey Raines, Jack Bauer had sex with her dead husband.
Old 12-06-05, 12:10 PM
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In the Eight grade Jack Bauer stopped his own heart for 2 hours to get out of a homework assignment. When he returned to school the next day, he killed all his teachers an assumed a new name, graduating as Dennis Rodman.
Old 12-06-05, 02:51 PM
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Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
Old 12-06-05, 03:38 PM
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temporarily killed...that is hilarious!
Old 12-06-05, 04:17 PM
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Jack Bauer was worshiped by the ancient Celts, unfortunatly his religion died when he tortured all his High priests to death for practice.
Old 12-06-05, 04:23 PM
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Jack Bauer once uncovered an eloberate plot to assasinate President Reagan, and protected the president from harm for weeks, only to have the president shot during a brief period of time when Jack was having sex with Jodie Foster
Old 12-06-05, 04:42 PM
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Jack Bauer loves midgets. He believes their juices keep him alive. Jack Bauer is weird.
Old 12-06-05, 04:44 PM
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You're either with Jack Bauer or against him. If you're against Jack Bauer, you're either dead or will be soon.
Old 12-06-05, 05:32 PM
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Jack Bauer hates casual conversation. He prefers bullets.

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