duff beer

They go to a house fire, and the cop keeps knocking on the lady's door. He breaks a window that he would never fit through, and then he either kicks in the door. He tells her she has to get out becayuse her house is on fire. "It is?" There's absolutely no smoke - because it's the wrong house!

Bill Needle

The one where the drunk in the wife-beater and boxers is watching TV when the cops break in.

Gil Jawetz

It's been played to death but the tranny trucker is tough to beat.

RyoHazuki

Old lady getting tackled onto her knife that she was threatening police with.

cdollaz

I love the one where a guy kicks the ass of his sister's boyfriend. When the cops aks him why he did it, he says, "Ain't nobody gonna hit my sister unless theys married to her." Classic.

Spanky BananaPants

Isn't that every episode?

Phil L.

Standard perp answer to cop question: Have you been drinking tonight?
"A couple a beers."

Standard perp question to police as he is being dragged off to jail
"Can I get my cigarettes?"

aktick

I think it was a Vegas episode (lot's of funny stuff in those)...dude gets arrested right after he bought a box of fried chicken, the box is sitting 20 ft. away as he's sitting in the cop car, and all this guy cares about is his chicken, he couldn't care less what the cops were telling or asking him. As they drive away, he's still asking for his chicken. Well, lucky him, once they get to the police station and in a room for questioning, they give him his box o'fried chicken back .

Borst

I like the one where the guy, who is very drunk, says he smokes pot but hasn't smoked any that night the cop says he believes him. Then the cop pulls a joint from behind the guys ear, the guy just says "very good, I'd forgotten about that or I probably would have smoked it"

Shady12

I haven't watched much of this at all but the one I remember is when a lady flags down a cop car and complains that someone stole their bag of weed and pointed out where they were so the cops could help get it back.

Boot

The best one for me was the one where the cop was chasing somebody and tried to drive onto some railroad tracks and immediately bottomed out big time. Then, he wanders around with this painfully embarrassed look on his face talking about how he's in so much trouble while other cops show up and laugh at him. Then, a train starts coming, and he desperately tries to get the car off the tracks, his tires just spinning and smoking, and he's freaking out. Finally, the train just veers onto tracks going in another direction and the guy just looks sheepish as hell. Hilarious stuff.

Nazgul

There was a cool one from KC a few years ago where they were chasing some dude on I-70 after he'd lost one of the front tires and was just driving on the axel and it was just sending a shower of sparks down the highway.

Nick Danger

The guy in Kansas City who drove across the bridge into the next state on his rims and a dozen cops on his tail. Why? He liked the Kansas jail better.

The drunken guy in Albuquerque who had crashed into the light pole. The light pole was still on his car. He told the police, "I'll just go now" and tried to get back in his car and drive away.

All those guys picked up for soliciting prostitution who get this ghastly look on their face when they're told the hooker is a dude.

whaaat

Cusm

The funniest is the guy that is caught on foot persuit by a slightly overweight ONE-LEGGED cop. And the cop bust on him, saying he just got ran down by a one legged cop, I wish they had cameras on his dumbass when this episode aired.

Bill Needle

Pretty much. Though I forgot to mention the overflowing ashtray of butts sitting next to him on a pile of TV Guides.

Spanky BananaPants

Wasn't there one where a cop was in a hot pursuit and ran out of gas? I recall he was embarassed as hell and wondering how he'd explain things to his boss.

Phodg

Two stand out for me ...

The one where an older couple are having a food fight and when the cop turns up they're both absolutely covered in flour.

The one where a biggish woman with fairly obvious mental problems is arrested for breaking into a home and all she keeps shouting is "I used to live here !".

megashock5

I've only really seen one episode, but it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

They came across this kid (maybe 15-16) who was just sort of wandering around in a daze. They were trying to figure out what was wrong with him, but this kid was just messed up. The cop tells the camera, "we found his wallet in one pair of pants, but he has another pair over those" or something like that, basically the kid had two pair of pants on for some reason.

He started complaining about getting his wallet back and they told him they already put it back. He was reaching in the pocket of the outside pair and they told him they put it in the pocket of the inside pair, where they found it.

To which he replies, "damn, I got dis many pants on?"

Giantrobo

1. The guy covered in flour was hilarious because the wife was Crazy. She then slapped the shit out of her husband right on camera. That's whent he cops arrested her.

2. The woman actually did live there but she moved out or was asked to leave. The person she used to stay with who was still living there was out of town and she decided to sneak in. Then she got crazy with the cops and several of them had to wrestle with her on the kitchen floor.

RaraFemina

The one that gets me is where the Cops go to a trailer park because some girl called because a neighbor was over at her trailer trying to beat her up. The cops get there and she's all scratched up and she tells them who did it. They go to his trailer and bring him out to talk to both him and the girl and it turns out he was trying to get his bologna and bread back because she broke into his trailer and stole a bologna sandwich.

Texasgingersnap

That's one of my favorites too! Reno 911, Season 1 has a sort of take-off on that too....where the guy's naked in a bar and when the "cops" approach him he's saying things like "there's no law that says I have to have pants on" and they say "yes there is" and he says "well nobody explained it to me".....

I love Cops. I think I've probably seen every episode TWICE!

Gizmo

Its a sad thing when I can remember nearly 90% of these stories...

conscience

The cops are called to a hotel to arrest a dude who is hella drunk.

He mumbles and mumbles to the cops and they are sort of forcing him to sit down to which he replies in his drunken mumbles..."You gonna make me dookie mu-self. You gonna make me dookie."

Then for some reason, his preacher shows up at the scene....



Drunk people getting arrested is damn funny.

Brak55

I love the one in Las Vegas where this guy is wandering around drunk and a couple of cops show up (who obviously know him). One reaches in the drunks sock and pulls out a can of beer. All of a sudden, the drunk points at his crotch and announces, "I got another one down there. Who's going to get it?"

I also like playing the Cops drinking game. Every time someone says "What'd I do?" you drink. You'll never make it to the credits of the first program.