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Bill Geist (60 Minutes II) is an idiot.

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Bill Geist (60 Minutes II) is an idiot.

Old 05-12-04, 11:01 PM
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Bill Geist (60 Minutes II) is an idiot.

I saw this on 60 Minutes II about two minites ago. Here's the transcript:

(CBS) This week's commentary is by 60 Minutes II Columnist Bill Geist. Starbucks are everywhere. I walk by three on one street in my neighborhood on my way to work.

They say there are plans to open a Starbucks in the bathroom of this Starbucks.

Inside they speak a different language: Starbucks-speak. It’s a language I don’t really understand:

“Double tall cappuccino”
“Iced Venti unsweetened iced coffee”

Starbucks has more than 19,000 different drinks, most of them coffee. Is that mathematically possible – 19,000 drinks?

“We came up with 19,000 different beverages by really combining all the different options that we have in the stores,” says a Starbucks representative. “Decaf espresso or regular espresso; skim milk or whole milk or soy milk; whipped cream, no-whipped cream; sprinkles and all kinds of things on the condiment bar.”

Remember when you ordered a cup of coffee and the only question was, Cream and sugar?

You really need to study your Starbucks materials before you go in. You’ve got to know your frappuccinos from your macchiatos.

If you want a cup of coffee these days, you’ve got to be prepared for extensive interrogation:

First off, which of the dozens of kinds of Starbucks coffee do you want? Arabian Mocha Sanani? Ethiopia Yergacheffe? How about some Special Reserve Estate 2003 Sumatra Lintong Lake Tawar? Hmmm?

They don’t seem to have any Folgers or Maxwell House. And what size? Vente whatever that means, Grande, or Tall?

Milk? Whole, non-fat, half and half, organic, or soy?

Sugar or sweetener? Sweet ‘N Low, Equal, or Splenda?

Caf? Decaf? Half caf-half decaf?

Foam, light foam, extra foam, no foam. Hot or extra hot?

Then there are the moral and ethical questions pertaining to your cup of coffee. There is shade-grown environmentally friendly coffee. Or Starbucks Free Trade coffee, harvested in countries that aren’t unfair to their workers?

No wonder the lines can be long sometimes at Starbucks. All these decisions and options!

And it’s not just coffee. While we worship freedom of choice, it seems we now have a tyranny of choices. Shoppers face 100 kinds of deodorant to choose from, three-dozen kinds of lettuce, 300 shampoos, at least a hundred different phones, 24 kinds of Tropicana orange juice, and hundreds of bottled waters -- when perhaps there should be none.

Call me Amish, but I’d actually prefer fewer products, fewer decisions and a simpler life. Iceberg lettuce was OK by me. Tap water, a big fat hardwired phone where no one ever had to ask “Can you hear me now?”

And a cup of joe, black.
Umm... ok. Is Starbucks really that complicated? I've never had to say any more than "Carmel Frapacino" and the size. And you can call it a small, med, or large instead of their stupid lingo. They don't care. The only thing (besides size) they've ever asked me is "Do you want whipped cream?"

He doesn't want choices? Because he thinks it makes life more difficult? Ummm... yeah.. ok.

You're Amish, Bill.
Old 05-12-04, 11:05 PM
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No, no ... see ... it's funny!!! There are Starbucks ... everywhere. And how about white people ... they CAN'T DANCE!!! OMG, this guy's brilliant!

das
Old 05-12-04, 11:13 PM
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Originally posted by das Monkey
And how about white people ... they CAN'T DANCE!!! OMG, this guy's brilliant!

das
They can't?! Dammit, this always happens...

*throws out "Sweatin' To The Oldies" volumes 1, 2, and 4*
Old 05-12-04, 11:25 PM
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Wow Starbucks material. This guy is on the cutting edge.
Old 05-12-04, 11:28 PM
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Originally posted by spainlinx0
Wow Starbucks material. This guy is on the cutting edge.
no kidding. Did they pull this report from a 3 year old pile of rejected ones or what?
Old 05-13-04, 12:33 AM
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Originally posted by spainlinx0
Wow Starbucks material. This guy is on the cutting edge.
Next hes going to tackle such hard hitting topics as:

Airline Food
The Department of Motor Vehicles
Meter Maids
Old 05-13-04, 12:50 AM
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Bad Seinfeld voice: Whaaaaat IIIIS this thing? [Pause for laughter] It's a spooon ... aaand a foorrk. [Pause for laughter] Am I supposed to eat soup with this [Pause for laughter] or hunt buffalo? [Pause for laughter] I mean really ... whaaaat IIIS it? [Pause for laughter] The waiter told me it's a "spork," and I said, "spork? SPOOOOOOORK?!? Can I have some Spoultry with my Spork?" [Pause for laughter] "Science Officer Spork, phasers on stun." [Pause for laughter] I say ... phaaasers ... on stuuun! [Pause for laughter] And who said it should be called a spork? You may use a spork, but I use a foon!!! [Pause for uproarious laughter] Who are the ad wizards that came up with this one? [Pause for laughter] And have you seen the white people dance?!? Thank you!!! You've been a great audience.

das
Old 05-13-04, 02:03 AM
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I'd like to see Bill and Jeannie Moos from CNN pull a little embedded time in Iraq.
Old 05-13-04, 01:02 PM
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Originally posted by Achtung
They can't?! Dammit, this always happens...

*throws out "Sweatin' To The Oldies" volumes 1, 2, and 4*
He said they can't dance, not that they can't lose weight.
Old 05-13-04, 02:08 PM
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Sorry but I agree with him in many ways. I stopped going there because he's right they do speak a different language. If you don't understand they make you feel as if you 're stupid. They stare at you for an answer and when you ask them what kind of coffee is that, the answer they give you is the same starbucks language. I'll stick to 7-11 thank you.
Old 05-13-04, 02:11 PM
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Yeah, he's an idiot. But his brother, Zeit really bugs me. Always jumping on the latest trends.
Old 05-13-04, 02:23 PM
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Sorry but I agree with him in many ways. I stopped going there because he's right they do speak a different language. If you don't understand they make you feel as if you 're stupid. They stare at you for an answer and when you ask them what kind of coffee is that, the answer they give you is the same starbucks language. I'll stick to 7-11 thank you.
I don't think anyone is debating that. The problem with the article isn't whether or not he's right, it's the fact that he's waited until NOW to do a commentary on Starbucks. Starbucks has been around a while now and the things that were said in the segment are the things that people have been saying about Starbucks for years. It's no longer funny or clever to say these things about Starbucks.

You know what Mr. Geist should do a segment on? Airplane peanuts and how they're hard to open. No one has ever made this observation before and would therefore make for a good 60 Minutes II piece.
Old 05-13-04, 02:52 PM
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This guy does editorial pieces on "Sunday Morning with Charles Osgood" on CBS and my dad thinks he's like the funniest man ever.
Old 05-13-04, 03:44 PM
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Originally posted by Zuul
I don't think anyone is debating that. The problem with the article isn't whether or not he's right, it's the fact that he's waited until NOW to do a commentary on Starbucks. Starbucks has been around a while now and the things that were said in the segment are the things that people have been saying about Starbucks for years. It's no longer funny or clever to say these things about Starbucks.

You know what Mr. Geist should do a segment on? Airplane peanuts and how they're hard to open. No one has ever made this observation before and would therefore make for a good 60 Minutes II piece.
And actually he's not right. Unless in Socal, Starbucks are different (which I don't believe they are).

You can order right off their menu, in which case usually the only thing they'll ask you is "What size?" Even if you don't know or want to use their wacky cup size names, all of them understand small, medium, or large.

His whole "complaint" is neither funny nor correct.

That's like getting confused at McDonalds because of how many different ways you can order your Big Mac (no cheese, hold the pickles, extra ketchup, etc.)
Old 05-13-04, 04:11 PM
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They say there are plans to open a Starbucks in the bathroom of this Starbucks.
Not to mention that this particular line is actually from an Onion article. Which means he's either a) ripping off material or b) thinks it's true.
Old 05-13-04, 05:02 PM
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Originally posted by Groucho
Yeah, he's an idiot. But his brother, Zeit really bugs me. Always jumping on the latest trends.


Plus, they're both so...pale.

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