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IGN Reviews Battlestar Galactica... and it ain't pretty

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Old 12-05-03, 10:54 PM
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IGN Reviews Battlestar Galactica... and it ain't pretty

Link to IGN review

"December 05, 2003 - "Never create what you can't control" implores the promotional campaign for the Sci Fi Channel's "reinvention" of Battlestar Galactica. Perhaps the network should have heeded its own advice: Rarely in the history of entertainment has a "re-imagining" demonstrated so much contempt for its source material – and rarely has a project with so much innate potential failed on so many fundamental levels. The new Galactica is not just a sewer dweller of a remake – it is a behemoth of troubled and inprecise storytelling whose brightest moments are only dim approximations of what they might have been.

The trouble seems to stem from the ground up – it's difficult to look at this "miniseries" (a two-part, four-hour TV movie) and believe The Powers That Be had any true understanding of the qualities that allowed the original 1978 television series to remain in people's memories for over two decades, or possessed the slightest comprehension of the stirring human drama indigenous in the concept itself.
Original series creator Glen A. Larson's multifaceted, allegorical epic has been replaced here by a one-dimensional "bottle" show (industry term for a show that rarely leaves a contained environment). The original series could be seen as a scathing examination of reverse imperialism: An enlightened, borderline decadent culture (the "human race" – a.k.a. Western Civilization) is run from its homeland by an oppressive empire of mechanical warriors who relentlessly hunt them down – bent on genocidally exterminating mankind. These automatons were utterly uninterested in the desires, hopes, or fears of others – they wanted only one way of things in the universe – their way – and would settle for nothing less. So, in essence, Galactica was originally an allegory for Western Civilization (the United States, Great Britain, etc.) being bullied and burned in the same way we have bullied and burned other nations for centuries.

Piled on top of this sublime socio-political undercurrent were several other intriguing ironies and conceits:
These mechanical nemeses were called Cylons. They were a humanoid species who became so entwined with its technology that the technology became a physical part of them. I.e., they were "the Borg" – about a decade before the Borg debuted on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Despite their technology-over-naturalism approach, the Cylon hierarchy of command was actually rotting from within due to some very human failings: Greed, opportunism, and lack of accountability perpetually hindered the Cylon efforts to exterminate mankind. The human failings of these technically perfect machines was slowly becoming their undoing.

These humans, who are being hunted from existence by these pesky lords of technology, repeatedly turn to technology to save themselves.

No matter how you look at it, the show's core was about faith. The characters in the original series did not always agree with each other, nor did they always comprehend (individually, or as a populous) what their future held. Not all of them were certain they would even find the new home they were seeking – "a shining planet known as Earth" – nor did they always believe in the people leading them there. But, somehow, they always found faith. Not just faith in "Gods" or "lords" (although religion & its place in society were certainly elements in the series) – faith in The Way of Things. Faith that tragic endings really can herald new beginnings. Faith in the axiom that we are only as alone as we let ourselves be. Faith in the strength of fellowship – sometimes having someone at our side in the darkest hour is more meaningful than the most powerful weapon anyone can construct. Faith that hope is more significant than all the answers we could ever actively seek. Faith that somehow, in some way, things will be better.

These qualities are not being mentioned in order to talk-up the (admittedly flawed) original series. This is simply meant to provide a sampling of the innate conceptual depth you will not find in the new Galactica. Gone is nearly every edgy and unique undercurrent that fuels the basic premise. Galactica is about a holocaust, yet the new movie offers no moments as gutwrenchingly truthful as the original series' pan around the Battlestar's bridge...to see the faces of Galactica's crew...crying in anguish...as they watch live video feeds of their homeworlds being obliterated. Here, Galactica gets wind of the Cylon attack on the human's homeworlds, and her crew stands around discussing the incident as if chatting about the score of a football game. There's a moment when lead Edward James Olmos believes someone he loves to be dead – he looks more like he needs laxatives than appearing genuinely upset. The people in this movie are as cold and mechanical as the Cylons they are fighting – and as cold and mechanical as the desperately contrived plot around them. All things considered, it's rather silly –and extremely distancing.

There's a very real sense this new Galactica is terrified to be genuine. Which is odd given the producers' repeated insistence that their new "take" on the show was designed to accentuate both realism and humanity. But every moment that (even skittishly) approaches being "real" or "human" is catastrophically muted by innate tackiness and sleazy excess. There is sex on this show – more sex than many viewers have likely seen (or had) in some time. But there is no love making. There is hostility, doubt, and anger – but not towards ideas that matter. The humans focus it on each other – where is affection, respect, and cohesion in a time of apocalyptic crisis? There is spoken remorse, but where are the tears? The good ship Galactica rarely embodies heroism, decency, or any quality that makes humanity exceptional – only dysfunction, distrust, and antagonism are evident. And if this is the measure of the human race, why...exactly...are we worth saving?

Galactica is utterly annihilated by narrative laziness, and a staggering inattention to detail – but this is only a reflection of logic gaffes which eventually grind the show's Teletubbies-like pacing to a nearly complete halt.
Bizarre inconsistencies like:

Cylons use nuclear weapons. If "nukes" exist in this universe, then so must the Electo-Magnetic Pulse (EMP) that accompanies the blast. EMP can stop machines dead in their tracks. Why isn't it used against the Cylons here? It is not – here, with no explanation given. In this Galactica universe, the holocaust that sets mankind on the run to begin with would, in actuality, be something of a wash.

The human race has now mastered faster-than-light travel of some sort, and the creation of artificial intelligence. Why are we still having trouble beating diseases like cancer, against which significant headway has already been made in our (much more primitive) modern time? Instead, we are treated to a profoundly awkward sequence in which Mary McDonnell – suffering from the disease – sneaks into the restroom of a space shuttle to feel her breast on-camera.

The Cylons despise mankind so much that they will settle for nothing less than bombing us out of existence. So, the next generation model of Cylon...what...looks human? They're embracing the template for the very thing they wish to destroy? No matter how desperately the filmmakers try to misdirect us from this fact, it doesn't bring any integrity or – or any baseline points of association – to the proceedings. If anything, the humanizing of the Cylons nearly completely undercuts the story both variants of Galactica are trying to tell. Which goes back to the lack of understanding...not just about Galactica, but dramatic dynamic in general...mentioned above. It is difficult, if not impossible, to undertake an endeavor successfully if its essence has not been clearly defined.

Regardless of whether this miniseries is judged as a "remake" / "re-invention" – or if it is considered on its own merits – Galactica may ultimately be remembered as one of the most dispassionate, antagonistic, pessimistic, and impersonal "dramas" mounted for television in some time. It shuns the most precious conceit in its own basic story...indeed, the most precious commodity anywhere: Hope. This doesn't make for a show that is evocative, atmospheric, or emotionally challenging. This simply creates for a relentlessly unpleasant viewing experience. Battlestar Galactica is as artificially inflated as some of the most hollow programming ever aired on television. Beautiful people...posing and posturing...spend their time being smart asses (or shouting and bickering) because they are not grown-up enough – or professional enough – to communicate more effectively, or attain their goals through any other means. Galactica more closely resembles an episode of melodramatic oldies like Melrose Place or Dynasty than epic science fiction, or any mythos ever created. It feels (and even looks) more like the Wing Commander feature film than a show that is trying to be as unique and as different as its producers have repeatedly asserted. In fact, Wing Commander isn't a bad comparison to this new miniseries. If you've seen that movie, then you've a fair clue what to expect here.

Which begs the question: If this is all The Powers That Be ever intended to bring to the show, why bother to utilize such a compelling premise at all, especially in light of the abandonment of its most basic tenets? Glen A. Larson – who did not write this miniseries, but was owed a "written by" credit on this new project (as creator of the source material) per Writers Guild of America stipulations – opted to not place his real name on this reboot, installing the pseudonym Christopher Eric James instead. Which, in itself, speaks volumes.

In the end, it is Galactica fans – who have waited decades for their show to return – who will be most hurt by potentially negative fallout from this miniseries. Should the project evolve into a television series, it's unlikely anyone interested in the original will be able to stomach Battlestar Light on a weekly basis. Should ratings for this broadcast not pan out, the fanbase will be summarily blamed by a network decrying "no one wants to see Galactica anymore!" – and little thought will be given to the disenfranchising nature of the product being generated.

This has happened before, when Warner Bros. (unaffiliated with this project) decided fans didn't want more Batman movies, after the dismal failure of Batman and Robin. No one stopped to think that fans did, in actuality, want more Batman – they just wanted better product...and something more truthful to the namesake...than what they got. They voted with their pocket books, and they got burned. It's taken 6 years for another Bat flick to finally hit the pipeline. It's likely Galactica would take quite a bit longer to be re-re-born if things don't go well when the miniseries airs on December 8 and 9. Which isn't a reasonable fate for any title of this nature, and a graphic exemplification of why more care should be taken when undertaking such endeavors.

The new Battlestar Galactica embodies everything wrong with the creative process in filmmaking and television these days – and plainly illustrates the all-too-obvious hazards of remaking material simply for the sake of remaking it. Perhaps someday Galactica will live again...again, and someone will come along and reverse engineer the damage that Moore and company have brought to the equation. Maybe then we'll end up with a product that actually demonstrates a bit of thought and common sense – and find a show that remotely resembles the series being deliberately evoked through the use of the title itself...

-- Glen Oliver"


I can't say I'm all that surprised...
Old 12-05-03, 11:24 PM
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I cannot speak to the accuracy of the review, but I can say that his description is pretty spot on to what I've been expecting from this thing. Unlike some other IGN writers, it's presented intelligently enough to take seriously too.

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Old 12-05-03, 11:34 PM
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Yeah, I was surprised myself at the quality of this review. It seems, for whatever reason, that the writers at IGN's film and dvd sites are much better than the regular drivel that comes out of their videogame sites.
Old 12-05-03, 11:44 PM
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I agree. Very well written and pretty much sums up all of my thoughts/fears about this project.

I'm fully aware that this thing is going to suck, and it frustrates me knowing that we've likely only got one shot at a new Galactica... and it was put in the hands of people who (regardless of what they claim) clearly never liked or understood what made the original show great.

The obvious approach (which has been suggested, off and on via fandom, since the late 1980s) would be to do, in essence, a Galactica: The Next Generation. Create a new show that takes place a few decades after the original, and includes a ton of new characters and a few old favorites. Make a sequel that improves upon, but is true to, the original. It seems like such a no-brainer, it amazes me that after over 25 years of discussion, what we get is RemakeGalactica 90210.

This 'reimagining' doesn't make a damn bit of sense. Fans are going to be pissed. Non-fans who have an ounce of intelligence (something that Sci-Fi [sic] seems to forget that its viewers have) will hate it. And everyone else will say "Battlestar what?"
Old 12-06-03, 03:04 AM
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Originally posted by bboisvert
I agree. Very well written and pretty much sums up all of my thoughts/fears about this project.

The obvious approach (which has been suggested, off and on via fandom, since the late 1980s) would be to do, in essence, a Galactica: The Next Generation. Create a new show that takes place a few decades after the original, and includes a ton of new characters and a few old favorites. Make a sequel that improves upon, but is true to, the original. It seems like such a no-brainer, it amazes me that after over 25 years of discussion, what we get is RemakeGalactica 90210.

This 'reimagining' doesn't make a damn bit of sense. Fans are going to be pissed. Non-fans who have an ounce of intelligence (something that Sci-Fi [sic] seems to forget that its viewers have) will hate it. And everyone else will say "Battlestar what?"
Exactly. Why even bother doing this show as "Battlestar Galactica" if you're going to take an approach that virtually NONE of the fans of the orignal want.

What was so hard about giving the fans what they wanted? Richard Hatch lobbied hard for years to make it happen - and I'd be willing to bet that had they gone for a Battlestar Galactica: The Next Generation rather than this deconstruction of the original concept that it would have gotten better ratings that this will get.

I'll tell you this - if by some miracle we ever do get Galactica: TNG I'm sure that I will be proven right.
Old 12-06-03, 04:43 AM
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I'll be watching it out of sheer curiousity and nostalia factor, and I suspect that'll be the case with a lot of fans. Hell, I even watch some of the newer Robocop movies for that reason.

Obligatory note: If you're interested, check out our new Battlestar Galactica Hub, filled with exclusive interviews, photos, and facts about the original series, the new videogame, and a bunch of other stuff.

I do have to say I wish they brought Dirk back. He could use the work. All that air he's getting out in the middle of nowhere can harm a man.

Last edited by BJacks; 12-06-03 at 04:47 AM.
Old 12-06-03, 05:27 AM
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As I said in another thread, they should have gone with Richard Hatch's vision for a new Galactica series. After seeing an interview with him on The Screensavers, I went from thinking he was a has-been trying to recapture past glories to thinking he is a man with a real passion for Galactica and story telling. Of course, this series has probably killed any possibility of his dream ever being made.
Old 12-06-03, 05:56 AM
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Hatch should just write a script for a new project then, using some of his same themes but removing any reference to Battlestar. If he keeps it even remotely fresh it might have a shot, although I'm sure there would be a lawsuit anyway.
Old 12-06-03, 06:21 AM
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Re: IGN Reviews Battlestar Galactica... and it ain't pretty

<small>
Originally posted by SiberianLlama
These mechanical nemeses were called Cylons. They were a humanoid species who became so entwined with its technology that the technology became a physical part of them. I.e., they were "the Borg" – about a decade before the Borg debuted on Star Trek: The Next Generation.
</small> .... and, of course, the original Cyborgs first aired quite some time earlier on the BBC's Doctor Who series!
Old 12-06-03, 08:33 AM
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From the review:
"There is sex on this show – more sex than many viewers have likely seen (or had) in some time."

Old 12-06-03, 12:23 PM
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I’m a little dubious of a review that takes as long to read as its subject material.

This doesn’t give me much hope for Monday.

But consider that there are many who consider Enterprise the greatest thing since the remote control. People who enjoy one-dimensional plots are, perhaps, what drive the industry. On that level, I suspect the show will be considered a success.

With SG-1 being just about the best thing SF on TV these days, and the quality of it declining – thank God I’ve got a DVD player.

[heavy sigh]
Old 12-06-03, 12:27 PM
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I don't see why there is any surprise. Edward James Olmos has come out and said that this is not for fans of the original series, and that they will not like it.
Old 12-06-03, 05:10 PM
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I'm not going to say this mini-series will be any good, but I remember early reviews totally bashing the pilot of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" as well.

I'm more than willing to judge this series for what it is (a reimagining of the original series) than judge it for what it is obviously not (a remake or continuation). If I want to see the original Galactica, I'll watch the DVDs.
Old 12-06-03, 05:19 PM
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Can you honestly blame anyone for bashing 'Farpoint'?

das
Old 12-06-03, 05:23 PM
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Well, it’s irreverent. But that’s never stopped us before.
Old 12-23-05, 07:50 AM
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IGN is full of shit
Old 12-23-05, 09:08 AM
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Posted by cleaver: IGN is full of shit
And IGN's talk forum is even worse...

Last edited by Cancer Man; 12-23-05 at 11:22 AM.
Old 12-23-05, 10:39 AM
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I'm creating a new SciFi series and calling it Fargate Starpointscape...
Old 12-23-05, 10:48 AM
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Originally Posted by adamblast
I'm creating a new SciFi series and calling it Fargate Starpointscape...
Fargate Starpointscape Atlantica just to cover all the bases.
Old 12-23-05, 10:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Cancer Man
And IGN's talk forum is even worse...

It was decent before it started to cost $20 a year.
Old 12-23-05, 11:11 AM
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I was going to respond that a) IGN is full of crap and b) Time named it the best TV of 2005...but then saw this thread was originally from 2003. I wonder if IGN has changed their mind by now.
Old 12-23-05, 11:15 AM
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To be fair, the review is for the mini-series. I think we can all agree the mini can't hold a candle to the actual series.
Old 12-23-05, 11:33 AM
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The miniseries was great. Unlike the premiere of the original, where it just seemed like a city got set on fire, you got the feeling that this entire civilization almost got wiped out and everyone is scared shitless.

The IGN reviewer made the mistake of comparing the miniseries to his memories of the original and not the actual shows. I've seen the original eps since scifi replays them just about every month, and the show is barely any better than Buck Rogers. The acting is uneven so that some characters seem to know they're running for their lives (Adama) while others act like they're on a pleasure cruise (everyone else).

D
Old 12-23-05, 11:36 AM
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As much as I like the show, I think a lot of his points about the mini-series (inattention to detail, lack of humanity from the humans, narrative lazyness) still hold up and consist of what I still may not like about the show.

Last edited by slop101; 12-23-05 at 11:38 AM.
Old 12-23-05, 02:31 PM
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Originally Posted by cleaver
IGN is full of shit
Quoted for truth.


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