The Ultimate Simpsons Quotes Thread
 

now that the DVD for Season 1 is out, i thought it was about time. i'll start...

I'd rather let a thousand guilty men go free, than chase after 'em. - Chief Wiggum.

"Once again, I must sugar my own churro." - The Spanish Millhouse

Bart: What the hell is this?
Lisa: A campy 70's throwback that appeals to Generation X'ers.
Bart: We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.

2 Lionel Hutz classics...

Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched 'Matlock' in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on but I think I got the gist of it.


Lionel Hutz: Judge Schnider has had it in for me ever since i kinda ran over his dog...well if you replace the word "kinda" with "repeatedly" and the word "dog" with "son."

Millhouse: "The Statue of Liberty!?! Where are we?!?"

Homer: "Five days? But I'm angry now!"

couple of my fave

Apu: Ah! the searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.

Dr. Nick Riviera: The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch. ...Uh oh.

"Mmm, potato chip. Doh! Mmm, potato chip. Doh! Mmm, potato chip. Doh!"

"To Beer! The cause and solution to all of life's problems!"

Homer walking past a line of people queing to see Empire Strikes Back.

"Wow! What an ending. Can you believe Darth Vader is actually Luke Skywalker's father?!"

"I'm Idaho!" - Ralph Wiggum

You'd have to see it said in context, but it's really quite funny (as is most everything Ralph says).

Ralph: I bent my Wookie

From today's episode:

Miss Springfield- Gentlemen, start your whacking!

Off the top of my head:

Bart- Inside every hardened criminal lies the heart of a 10 year old boy.

Lisa- And vice versa

"Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie!"

"No tv and beer make Homer something something."

"Lisa, vampires aren't real. They're make-believe. Just like elves, gremlins, and eskimos."

"Whoa, whoa...a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan...you must be a devil with the ladies." Sarcastic guy

"I am the Lizzard Queen!" Lisa

"I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was
every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in
which to get funky." Homer

"Yeah Moe that team really did suck last night...they just plain sucked...I've seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked." Homer

Ralph: "Go Bannana!!!"

How can you afford a place like this?
Idont know, dont ask me how the economy works

Ralph: "Ooo, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!"

http://communities.msn.com/_Secure/0...dI/frankie.gif<font size="1">Fire bad!</font>

You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society!

Call this is an unfair generalisation if you must, but old people are no good for nothing!

homer: you mean you're never going to eat meat again?

lisa: no.

homer: what about ham?

lisa: no.

homer: bacon?

lisa: no.

homer: pork chops?

lisa: dad, those all come from the same animal.

homer: yeah right lisa, a magical animal.

or something to that effect.

Quimby: And now, I'd like to turn things over to our Grand Marshall, Mr. Leonard Nimoy.
Nimoy: I'd say this vessel could do at least Warp Five.
[appreciative laughter from the crowd]
Quimby: And let me say, ``May the Force Be With You!''
Nimoy: [annoyed] Do you even know who I am?
Quimby: [indignant] I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?

"Whoah...I have mustard"

Ralph "Hello Principal Skinner. Hello SuperNintendo Chalmers"

SPY

Ralph: someone should iron you


Flanders: looks like we're gonna have an imaginary Christmas this year.

Rod, todd: YEAHH!!!!

I got a pogo stick
I got a hula hoop