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The Preacher Manifesto. Warning - Some Hockey Included

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The Preacher Manifesto. Warning - Some Hockey Included

Old 03-21-05, 05:44 PM
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The Preacher Manifesto - *No Hockey References Here.

I was going to do this as a parody of Scoop Jackson's article, the new writer for ESPN, but decided I'd rather do a list stating what I believe rather than what I do not. Not a huge fan of lists like these, that'll be in the list, but sometimes you just have to do something when encountering an appalling/aggravating piece of work.

Mr. Jackson's article: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2.../050308a&num=0

Manifesto:

- I believe the NFL is the greatest sports league in the world. Nothing primes me like the beginning of football season.

- I believe in another few years around here, College Football may become my #1. It is starting to feel healthier and easier to throw my support behind it.

- I believe salary caps are evil. If you cannot decide how much money to spend why should someone else tell you how to spend it? If you fail than fail.

- I believe that Bull Durham is not a great baseball movie. Tim Robbins pitching ... But I still like it alot for all the other stuff.

- I believe Peter Forsberg is the greatest player i have seen in the last 10 years. And of all the strike related hooey, it is the one thing that bothers me the most.



dek signature quote: "Forsberg plays like Bird -- with no regard for his body, to win and not for money. They're comets that burn so brightly, they tan your face with delight. Then they go away and you feel like crying."


- I believe the greatest defensive football player I ever saw was Lawrence Taylor. It is not even close. He was undefendable with 2 and sometimes 3 guys. Absolutely terrifying to watch your team play the Giants then.

- I believe the list that Mr. Costner rhymes off in Bull Durham is gayer than Cher's fans.

- I believe the greatest upset I never saw was the Villanova vs. Georgetown in the 1985 NCAA basketball final 66-64. Being broke and almost homeless interrupted my abilities to watch the game. The shooting stats are staggering from the game.

'Cats shot 22 for 28 (78.6%) for the game. NCAA record for a final.
'Cats were 22 of 27 (81.48%) from the line.

IN A WHOLE GAME THEY TOOK 28 SHOTS.

'Nuff said. The exception and help for them being being that they played the Hoya's twice and close that year, I believe they could play 99 more times and 'Nova would lose them all.

- I believe hockey needs to be destroyed to be fixed. The last 10-15 years has ruined the game and how it is played. I grew up with great hockey. Montreal-Boston, Calgary-Edmonton-Winnipeg, Montreal-Quebec. Other than Detroit and Colorado hockey has deserved its ratings these last years. The product is terrible.

- I believe the dive, the serve out wide off the Benetton ad at the US Open and just the person that he was are some of the reasons I miss Boris Becker.

- I believe and always will that God does watch his team play football through that hole in the roof.

- I believe any top sports movie rankings that include "Youngblood" is too long a list. Yes, Mr. Simmons I mean you.

- I believe the Rockets new logo is one of the best redesigns I have ever seen in sport.



- I believe Mark McGwire deserves the utmost respect for being unwilling to lie on the stand like the others. He was forced in to a position he did not choose and could have taken the easy way out.

- I believe Steve Young should not be in the Hall of Fame.

- I believe when writers are explaining too much to me, it means I'm not watching enough sports myself.

- I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them be the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride. ( I remembered all these words by heart. )

- I believe that sports are not truly functioning well unless there are some teams that are getting savagely pounded.

- I believe .... SCREW AUBURN!!!!!!

- I believe Charles Barkley is one of the 5 most complete, valuable and dominant players of the last 25 years.
As an afterthought ... Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson and Shaquille O'Neal. Just to answer that question.

- I believe the greatest football game I ever saw was the 1981 playoff game between the Chargers and the Dolphins. Won by San Diego 41-38 in overtime. And one of the greatest performances of alltime was Kellen Winslow's.

- I believe that stock car drivers may be the bravest men in the world next to astronauts. But it's still a 500 mile left turn.

- I believe Rafael Aruillolabamba being chosen by the Raptor's in the first round may be one of the worst choices in the history of any sport, anywhere, anytime. A drunken monkey with a highlighter and a list of all draft able players could have done a better job.

- I believe Walter Payton is the greatest running back I have ever seen. I call my son "Sweetness" sometimes. And always will.



- I believe night tennis at the US Open is one of the greatest things in this world.

- I believe Phil Mickelson is a fat bastard and how can he actually be described as playing a real sport with those heaving man tits.

- I believe that soccer is a brilliant but wasted sport. After I have at least 3 drinks I dare anyone to try and describe the FA Cup, Champion's Cup and all these other permutations of playoffs. Maybe I'm just a bit thick but if the vague understanding I have is that one year you qualify for some of these and then the next year you play for it.

WTH? Lakers with Shaq. Lakers without Shaq. What world does this work in?

- I believe Donovan Bailey is one of the greatest athletes we have produced here in Canada. And he should be treated better than he has been.

- I believe the most disappointing game I ever saw was the 1995 NFC Championship between Dallas and San Francisco. Won by the Niners 38-28. It took repeated turnovers, a huge early deficit, Switzer being an idiot, Emmitt with all his groins pulled and a disgraceful field.

No team the quality of the Niners should have played on such a horrific field. Inexcusable. Yes I'm bitter. Always will be. That team was on the verge of being the greatest team ever.

- I believe baseball died in 1994. And in spite of moments to the contrary, in the end it now still appears that it did. No matter how hard I try, I will always be an Expo's fan. No matter any Red Sox leanings as a child.



....I believe I may add to this list later.

Last edited by Preacher; 03-22-05 at 09:58 AM. Reason: attempting to stimulate some response. :D
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Old 07-30-05, 02:31 AM
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I believe this might be the most pathetic post/thread in the history of the internet. So much effort...so little pay-off.
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Old 07-30-05, 03:07 AM
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Yeah all the time it took to type it and no one gave a fuck.
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Old 07-30-05, 03:24 AM
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Nice bump.

Last edited by Preacher : 03-22-05 at 09:58 AM. Reason: attempting to stimulate some response.
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Old 07-30-05, 10:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Preacher
- I believe the Rockets new logo is one of the best redesigns I have ever seen in sport.
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Old 07-30-05, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Preacher
- I believe Mark McGwire deserves the utmost respect for being unwilling to lie on the stand like the others. He was forced in to a position he did not choose and could have taken the easy way out.
Uh, did McGwire admit to taking steroids? No, he stonewalled. "I am not here to talk about the past." WTF? How is that worthy of any kind of respect?

Originally Posted by Preacher
- I believe Steve Young should not be in the Hall of Fame.
Why not? The guy has multiple rings, was one of the most dominant QBs of all time (his career QB rating is ungodly) and was a two-time MVP. Good God, if Steve Young doesn't deserve to be in the Hall of Fame, who does?

Originally Posted by Preacher
- I believe .... SCREW AUBURN!!!!!!

- I believe Charles Barkley is one of the 5 most complete, valuable and dominant players of the last 25 years.
... who played for Auburn. I know the first one was a nod to twifoff, but still...

Originally Posted by Preacher
- I believe Rafael Aruillolabamba being chosen by the Raptor's in the first round may be one of the worst choices in the history of any sport, anywhere, anytime. A drunken monkey with a highlighter and a list of all draft able players could have done a better job.
Wow, that is wrong on so many levels. Let's not even bring up Chris Washburn, OK? Not to mention Ryan Leaf or Josh Hamilton.


I can't speak to any of the hockey stuff... and as for that whole "God watches through the hole in the roof"...
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Old 07-31-05, 11:35 PM
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As a 49er fan, the crack about Steve Young not belonging in the HOF made me not like this thread

Is the comment about "God watching the team through the hole in the roof" related to the Cowboys (as in you're a Boys fan)? If so, that'd explain your Steve Young issue.
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Old 08-01-05, 09:56 AM
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Originally Posted by NCMojo
Wow, that is wrong on so many levels. Let's not even bring up Chris Washburn, OK? Not to mention Ryan Leaf or Josh Hamilton.
Well I have no idea why he mentioned Rafael Araujo specifically. It comes across as hyperbole more than anything. But there is something that differrentiates Araujo from the other players you mentioned. Everyone else on that list was highly regarded by most teams, and in essence "fooled" a lot of people. I don't think anyone other than the Raptors thought Araujo would be very good.
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