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All Time Lamest MLB Injuries

Old 05-20-04, 11:46 AM
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All Time Lamest MLB Injuries

My wife and I were talking last night about Sosa last night and how stupid some of the injuries MLB players get put on the DL for are. So I'm wanting your list of all time lamest, wussiest Injuries in the history of MLB. As a disclaimer I love baseball and I understand why a lot of these people go on the DL. I don't care if it's a serious injury or not just that it sounds really stupid when you hear about it.

I'll get us started:

Sammy Sosa is headed to the 15-day DL for sneezing twice (!) before a game against the Padres last week and spraining a ligament in his back.

Juan Gonzalez spent some time on the DL several seasons ago when he hurt his back bending over to tie his shoe.

Brendan Donnelly started this season on the DL due to uncontrolable nose-bleeds as a result of some nasal fractures suffered during Spring Training.

Honorable Mention: Jeff Kent and his "truck washing" incident.
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Old 05-20-04, 12:00 PM
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Brian Anderson is the king of stupid injuries. I don't have time to look them up, but he's done some of the stupidest things a human could ever possibly do.
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Old 05-20-04, 12:13 PM
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Smoltz plus iron = DL
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Old 05-20-04, 12:13 PM
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Moises Alou fell off a treadmill, tearing a ligament in his knee, and missed most of the season in '99. Then when he was finally ready to return, he fell off a bike, aggravating the injury and taking him out for the remainder of the season.

Since then, he has learned to toughen up his ACLs by urinating on them.
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Old 05-20-04, 01:00 PM
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Originally posted by weargle
Smoltz plus iron = DL
As in Ironing his pants?
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Old 05-20-04, 01:23 PM
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dont discount the pain a person can cause them self from sneezing.

my wife and and fear for her back everytime she sneezes.

you would be surprised to know how easy it is to seriously injure your back when sneezing.
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Old 05-20-04, 01:36 PM
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Yeah, Sammy isn't the first player to strain his back from sneezing. Russ Springer did the same thing.

Remember Vince Coleman getting run over the tarp machine?

Was it Kotsay who stabbed himself trying to get the plastic off his new CD?

I gotta go look some of these up. There have been some damn funny ones over the last 30 years.

Last edited by DarkElf; 05-20-04 at 02:00 PM.
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Old 05-20-04, 01:45 PM
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Here's Page 2's All-Injury team:

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/holloman/020307.html

Manager: Roger Craig (Giants)
Cut his hand on a bra strap ... though we're guessing that's pain he played through.

Catcher: Mickey Tettleton (Tigers)
Once missed action with athlete's foot ... caused by tying his shoes too tight.

First Base: Ryan Klesko (Braves)
Once overexerted himself and pulled a muscle ... while picking up his lunch tray.

Second Base: Bret Barberie (Marlins)
Missed a game after rubbing chili juice in his eye ... probably after getting stuck behind John Kruk in morning stretches.


Ryan Klesko's known for his power, but he needs some help carrying his food.
Shortstop: Rey Quinones (Seattle)
Once was unavailable for pinch hitting duty, because he had already returned to the clubhouse ... to play Nintendo.

Third Base: Wade Boggs (Red Sox)
Injured himself while pulling on his cowboy boots.

Outfield: Kevin Mitchell (Mets/Giants)
The master of all bizarre injuries, he once injured himself while eating a cupcake. That, of course, was when he wasn't missing games because of vomiting -induced muscle strains, or strained eyelids.

Outfield: Ken Griffey, Jr. (Mariners)
Missed a game after suffering a pinched testicle from his protective cup ... which explains why the whole "pain in the butt" thing just isn't phasing Jr.

Outfield: Oddibe McDowell (Rangers)
Yet another sad story of a baseball toughman getting taken out by food, he sliced his hand at the Texas welcome home luncheon while attempting to butter his roll.

Designated Hitter: Glenallen Hill (Blue Jays)
Went on the DL because of cuts suffered after smashing a glass table while dreaming he was being attacked by spiders ... anyway, that's his story, and he's sticking to it.

Bench: Terry Harper (Braves)
Separated his shoulder while waving a teammate home and subsequently high-fiving him.

Glenallen Hill's arachnophobia is legendary.
Bench: Rickey Henderson (Blue Jays)
Missed a game because of frostbite ... in August.

Bench: Mark Smith (Orioles)
Injured his hand after sticking it in an air conditioner to "find out why it wasn't working."

Bench: Jose Cardenal (Cubs)
Missed a game in 1974 because he couldn't blink.

Bench: George Brett (Royals)
Broke his toe on a chair at his home while running from the kitchen to the TV to watch Bill Buckner hit.

Bench: Vince Coleman (Cardinals)
Missed the 1985 World Series after getting rolled up in the tarp machine.

Starting pitcher: John Smoltz (Braves)
Once burned his chest while ironing a shirt ... which he was still wearing.

Starting pitcher: Tom Glavine (Braves)
Redefining the phrase "star hurler," he broke a rib in 1992 after vomiting up airplane food.

Starting pitcher: Nolan Ryan (Astros)
Missed a start after being bitten on his hand ... by a coyote.

Just stay far away from Jason Isringhausen.
Starting pitcher: Carlos Perez (Expos)
Broke his nose in a car accident ... while trying to pass the team bus.

Starting pitcher: Doc Gooden (Mets)
Missed a start when Vince Coleman accidentally struck him with a golf club in the clubhouse.

Middle reliever: Steve Sparks (Brewers)
Dislocated his shoulder attempting to tear a phone book in half.

Middle reliever: Charlie Hough (Rangers)
Once broke his pinky ... shaking hands -- pinky shaking, that is.

Middle reliever: Ricky Bones (Marlins)
Went on the disabled list in 2000 after injuring himself while changing channels on the clubhouse TV.

Middle reliever: Greg Harris (Rangers)
Injured his wrist while flicking sunflower seeds in the dugout

Closer: Jason Isringhausen (Athletics)
Broke his hand while punching a trash can just weeks after stabbing himself in the leg trying to open a package.


Great stuff
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Old 05-20-04, 02:02 PM
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Thanks MD. I love Oddibe McDowell buttering his roll. And Rickey's frostbite. And Mitchell's strained eyelid.

One not on that list is Larry Herndon missing a game because he cut his pitching hand while eating a lobster.
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Old 05-20-04, 02:06 PM
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Mike Matheny missing the playoffs after cutting himself with a hunting knife he got as a present.

JD Drew straining his neck after swimming in a neighbor's pond.

Matt Morris injuring his ankle while rushing to an elevator.
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Old 05-20-04, 02:12 PM
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Heck just last year between Aaron Boone losing his contract for injuring himself playing basketball, and Kazuhiro Sasaki injuring himself with a suitcase and shortly thereafter returning to Japan, making the whole suitcase story even more suspect.

Also Freddy Garcia blew out both of his ear drums when sneezing on an airplane, and he didn't get surgery for it until the offseason. He wasn't on the disabled list, but he did pitch like crap for most of the season.
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Old 05-20-04, 02:12 PM
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Originally posted by whotony
dont discount the pain a person can cause them self from sneezing.

my wife and and fear for her back everytime she sneezes.

you would be surprised to know how easy it is to seriously injure your back when sneezing.
Hey, I completely believe you. You have to admit though, the thought of a professional baseball player, in good physical shape ( ) having to miss games because he sneezed too hard is just funny, whether the injury is serious or not.
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Old 05-20-04, 02:13 PM
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Why is Donnelly's injury lame? He got hit in the face with a baseball.
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Old 05-20-04, 02:16 PM
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Glenallen Hill and Kevin Mitchell are my favorites so far. That spider dream has me
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Old 05-20-04, 02:20 PM
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Originally posted by Aphex Twin
Why is Donnelly's injury lame? He got hit in the face with a baseball.
I know that and I'm sure his "nasal fractures" were pretty bad. It's just funny that the reason they put him on the DL was because his nose wouldn't stop bleeding.

I was at the game in '89 or '90 when Nolan Ryan got drilled by a Bo Jackson liner right in the face. He had to change his blood soaked shirt between innings and he didn't even come out of the game.
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Old 05-20-04, 02:36 PM
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Kevin Mitchell is a whole page to himself.

A recent favorite of mine was the Orioles Marty Cordova who got facial suburn from falling asleep in a tanning bed and couldn't play because doctors advised him to stay out of the sun
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Old 05-20-04, 02:38 PM
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Originally posted by Mordred
I was at the game in '89 or '90 when Nolan Ryan got drilled by a Bo Jackson liner right in the face. He had to change his blood soaked shirt between innings and he didn't even come out of the game.
Nolan Ryan got bitten by that coyote, but knowing him, he probably ripped that beast to shreds after the bite.
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Old 05-20-04, 03:55 PM
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I can't believe I had never heard that Vince Coleman missed the '85 Series because of the tarp machine.
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Old 05-20-04, 03:58 PM
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Originally posted by B.A.
I can't believe I had never heard that Vince Coleman missed the '85 Series because of the tarp machine.
I was thinking the same thing. Maybe we both blocked it out.
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Old 05-20-04, 04:02 PM
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Originally posted by Mad Dawg
Here's Page 2's All-Injury team:

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/holloman/020307.html

...

Great stuff
Yeah that list is hilarious. Maybe they should have a poll to see which is the lamest. Or maybe WE should have a poll.
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Old 05-20-04, 04:37 PM
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didn't Chipper Jones fall down walking around in a mall once and had to go on the injuried reserve?
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Old 05-20-04, 05:28 PM
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Originally posted by B.A.
I can't believe I had never heard that Vince Coleman missed the '85 Series because of the tarp machine.
I still don't really understand how this could happen. Anybody have links to an article that describes it in more detail?
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Old 05-20-04, 06:28 PM
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That Coleman tarp thing is great

Saying he missed the World Series makes it sound like he was trapped there for a week and a half while the games were being played
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Old 05-20-04, 06:37 PM
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Adam Eaton cut himself while opening a DVD. He had to get six stitches.
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Old 05-20-04, 06:47 PM
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Originally posted by Mordred
I know that and I'm sure his "nasal fractures" were pretty bad. It's just funny that the reason they put him on the DL was because his nose wouldn't stop bleeding.
His face got pretty broken up. At one point days after the injury he lost a third of his blood while in the hospital.

i just know this thanks to fantasy baseball notes.
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