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Minnesota linebacker faces charges of... genocide

Old 10-27-02, 01:42 AM
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Minnesota linebacker faces charges of... genocide

From a "very reliable" news source.

Linebacker Faces Suspension For Genocide
MINNEAPOLIS—In the latest legal complication for an NFL player, Minnesota Vikings linebacker Antwone Evans may receive a fine and possibly even a suspension for his role in the mass slaughter of the Lithuanian people in a Sunday pogrom. "In cruelly rounding up and exterminating more than three million Lithuanian men, women, and children, Evans seriously violated the behavior standard to which we hold all our employees," said NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue. "We are currently deliberating on whether to suspend him pending the verdict of his U.N. tribunal."
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Old 10-27-02, 03:50 AM
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I hate to ruin the joke, but it's from the Onion and it is a joke.
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Old 10-27-02, 07:20 AM
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What the hell is a pogrom?

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Old 10-27-02, 11:03 AM
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Originally posted by immortal_zeus
What the hell is a pogrom?

po·grom Pronunciation Key (p-grm, pgrm)
An organized, often officially encouraged massacre or persecution of a minority group, especially one conducted against Jews.

[Russian, outrage, havoc, from pogromit', to wreak havoc : po-, adverbial pref. (from po, next to. See apo- in Indo-European Roots) + gromit', to outrage, wreak havoc (from grom, thunder).]
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Old 10-28-02, 12:41 AM
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Bah, Tagliabue and his cronies are a buch of p*ssies. Football just isn't football without mass indescriminate murder. Let the players play dammit!
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