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Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

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Old 06-24-14 | 02:15 PM
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Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Please continue pre-release discussion here.

Movie:
"Transformers: Age of Extinction" (Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Jack Reynor)

Release Date:
6/27/14

Rating:
PG-13 (for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, language and brief innuendo throughout.)

Running Time:
165m. (2h. 45m.)

Budget:
$165 million (estimated)

IMDb Synopsis:
Spoiler:
An automobile mechanic and his daughter make a discovery that brings down the Autobots and Decepticons - and a paranoid government official - on them.


IMDb Info and Rating:
7.2 (3,801 votes as of 6/25/14

Rotten Tomatoes:
Fresh:07 Rotten:34 (19% as of 6/26/14)

Metacritic:
33 metascore ('Generally unfavorable reviews' as of 6/25/14)

Trailer:
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://v.traileraddict.com/90743" allowfullscreen="true" webkitallowfullscreen="true" mozallowfullscreen="true" scrolling="no"></iframe>



Poster Art:

Old 06-24-14 | 03:12 PM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

At 57% this currently ties the original Transformers for Bay's second most critically acclaimed movie behind The Rock (67%)
Old 06-24-14 | 03:53 PM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Variety's mixed-to-favorable review:

http://variety.com/2014/film/reviews...on-1201238365/
Old 06-25-14 | 08:35 PM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

I give this movie no stars, because it cannot be rated on an earthly scale such as this one. If I were to give it a letter grade, it would be Ӥ or ਲ. If we were using numbers, I would give this a rating of the sound of chrome on a Texas morning.

Is there action? Yes. But so much of it that it feels a bit like watching three hours of pornography while a machine feeds you steak alternated with Boston creme donuts. About halfway through it just began to register as a visual equivalent of musique concrete. Yes, this is Mark Wahlberg. A face I recognize. But here is an explosion. Here are robot dogs. Here is the face of Mark Wahlberg. Here is Hong Kong upside down. Here is Mark Wahlberg. Here are robot dinosaurs. Here is Frasier. Lasers. Here is an alien ship that looks like every alien ship since 1994. Here is Mark Wahlberg again. Here is a backstory about dinosaurs. Here is Mark Wahlberg. Mark. Wahlberg. Mark.

It is a little bit like watching all of Michael Bay's movies played at the same time. The budget may have been a billion dollars, for all I know.

I left the movie theater dazed.

I may not remember any of this in the morning.
Old 06-25-14 | 09:42 PM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

That sounds AMAZING!!!!!!1

I can't wait to see this!!!!!!!!!!
Old 06-25-14 | 09:48 PM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

The only thing I want to know about this movie is do they call one of the Dinobots, Grimlock? I'm not watching it if they use a different name.
Old 06-25-14 | 09:58 PM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

I just hope that in the next movie they call
Spoiler:
"The Creators" by the name of the Quintessons.
Old 06-25-14 | 10:05 PM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Please review the IMAX 3d presentation of the film since part of the big deal concerning this movie is Michael Bay's usage of the brand spanking new IMAX 3d camera.
Old 06-25-14 | 10:22 PM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Originally Posted by The Bus
it feels a bit like watching three hours of pornography while a machine feeds you steak alternated with Boston creme donuts.
Sounds like my idea of Heaven.
Old 06-25-14 | 10:26 PM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
I give this movie no stars, because it cannot be rated on an earthly scale such as this one. If I were to give it a letter grade, it would be Ӥ or ਲ. If we were using numbers, I would give this a rating of the sound of chrome on a Texas morning. Is there action? Yes. But so much of it that it feels a bit like watching three hours of pornography while a machine feeds you steak alternated with Boston creme donuts. About halfway through it just began to register as a visual equivalent of musique concrete. Yes, this is Mark Wahlberg. A face I recognize. But here is an explosion. Here are robot dogs. Here is the face of Mark Wahlberg. Here is Hong Kong upside down. Here is Mark Wahlberg. Here are robot dinosaurs. Here is Frasier. Lasers. Here is an alien ship that looks like every alien ship since 1994. Here is Mark Wahlberg again. Here is a backstory about dinosaurs. Here is Mark Wahlberg. Mark. Wahlberg. Mark. It is a little bit like watching all of Michael Bay's movies played at the same time. The budget may have been a billion dollars, for all I know. I left the movie theater dazed. I may not remember any of this in the morning.
So basically I can see this and roughly approximate the experience of doing drugs ?
Old 06-26-14 | 08:51 AM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Originally Posted by The Bus
I give this movie no stars, because it cannot be rated on an earthly scale such as this one. If I were to give it a letter grade, it would be Ӥ or ਲ. If we were using numbers, I would give this a rating of the sound of chrome on a Texas morning.

Is there action? Yes. But so much of it that it feels a bit like watching three hours of pornography while a machine feeds you steak alternated with Boston creme donuts. About halfway through it just began to register as a visual equivalent of musique concrete. Yes, this is Mark Wahlberg. A face I recognize. But here is an explosion. Here are robot dogs. Here is the face of Mark Wahlberg. Here is Hong Kong upside down. Here is Mark Wahlberg. Here are robot dinosaurs. Here is Frasier. Lasers. Here is an alien ship that looks like every alien ship since 1994. Here is Mark Wahlberg again. Here is a backstory about dinosaurs. Here is Mark Wahlberg. Mark. Wahlberg. Mark.

It is a little bit like watching all of Michael Bay's movies played at the same time. The budget may have been a billion dollars, for all I know.

I left the movie theater dazed.

I may not remember any of this in the morning.
So Mark Wahlberg from the Funky Bunch is in this?
Old 06-26-14 | 08:58 AM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

24% on RT now. Yikes.
Old 06-26-14 | 09:18 AM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Originally Posted by The Bus
I give this movie no stars, because it cannot be rated on an earthly scale such as this one. If I were to give it a letter grade, it would be Ӥ or ਲ. If we were using numbers, I would give this a rating of the sound of chrome on a Texas morning.

Is there action? Yes. But so much of it that it feels a bit like watching three hours of pornography while a machine feeds you steak alternated with Boston creme donuts. About halfway through it just began to register as a visual equivalent of musique concrete. Yes, this is Mark Wahlberg. A face I recognize. But here is an explosion. Here are robot dogs. Here is the face of Mark Wahlberg. Here is Hong Kong upside down. Here is Mark Wahlberg. Here are robot dinosaurs. Here is Frasier. Lasers. Here is an alien ship that looks like every alien ship since 1994. Here is Mark Wahlberg again. Here is a backstory about dinosaurs. Here is Mark Wahlberg. Mark. Wahlberg. Mark.

It is a little bit like watching all of Michael Bay's movies played at the same time. The budget may have been a billion dollars, for all I know.

I left the movie theater dazed.

I may not remember any of this in the morning.
So basically:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/yptXkLglKkA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Old 06-26-14 | 09:32 AM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

So, lemme ask you this:

Why pay for a movie that you know will probably be garbage?
Old 06-26-14 | 09:36 AM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Originally Posted by EddieMoney
24% on RT now. Yikes.
But to be fair, it hasn't even been released yet. Tonight is the first public showings. And it seems it is cool and hip to hate Michael Bay no matter what he does.
Old 06-26-14 | 09:43 AM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Originally Posted by The Bus
I give this movie no stars, because it cannot be rated on an earthly scale such as this one. If I were to give it a letter grade, it would be Ӥ or ਲ. If we were using numbers, I would give this a rating of the sound of chrome on a Texas morning.

Is there action? Yes. But so much of it that it feels a bit like watching three hours of pornography while a machine feeds you steak alternated with Boston creme donuts. About halfway through it just began to register as a visual equivalent of musique concrete. Yes, this is Mark Wahlberg. A face I recognize. But here is an explosion. Here are robot dogs. Here is the face of Mark Wahlberg. Here is Hong Kong upside down. Here is Mark Wahlberg. Here are robot dinosaurs. Here is Frasier. Lasers. Here is an alien ship that looks like every alien ship since 1994. Here is Mark Wahlberg again. Here is a backstory about dinosaurs. Here is Mark Wahlberg. Mark. Wahlberg. Mark.

It is a little bit like watching all of Michael Bay's movies played at the same time. The budget may have been a billion dollars, for all I know.

I left the movie theater dazed.

I may not remember any of this in the morning.
This is probably the most favorable review this movie can get.

I'm in!
Old 06-26-14 | 10:09 AM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Originally Posted by Lara Means
Please review the IMAX 3d presentation of the film since part of the big deal concerning this movie is Michael Bay's usage of the brand spanking new IMAX 3d camera.
I thought the 3D was good, and it helps to slow down Michael Bay's furious non-sense editing.
Old 06-26-14 | 10:10 AM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Originally Posted by jeffkjoe
So, lemme ask you this:

Why pay for a movie that you know will probably be garbage?
I'm not sure I would pay for this.
Old 06-26-14 | 11:18 AM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

I imagine it's like this:

The waiter tells you the plate is hot, and you touch it anyway?

Same thing.

The critic tells people it's crap, and they still pay for it.
Old 06-26-14 | 11:36 AM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Originally Posted by jeffkjoe
I imagine it's like this:

The waiter tells you the plate is hot, and you touch it anyway?

Same thing.

The critic tells people it's crap, and they still pay for it.
Yes, but hot plates have no explosions.
Old 06-26-14 | 11:41 AM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Not exactly.

The people end up liking it. So people like crap.
Old 06-26-14 | 12:07 PM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Originally Posted by Jaymole
Yes, but hot plates have no explosions.
Depends on what the person ate that morning.

Wait, what are we talking about again?
Old 06-26-14 | 12:20 PM
  #23  
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

A Michael Bay movie is like the opening of the Ark of the Covenant; it melts my face, but I cannot look away.
Old 06-26-14 | 12:22 PM
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

165 minutes!?!?!?! this is nuts, my 8 year old son can barely sit through a 90 minute movie. it is way too long for this type of movie. Add previews, this is pushing over 3 hours.
Old 06-26-14 | 03:02 PM
  #25  
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Re: Transformers: Age of Extinction (Bay, 2014) — The Reviews Thread

Ouch!!

Rotten Tomatoes:
Fresh:07 Rotten:34 (19% as of 6/26/14)

Metacritic:
33 metascore ('Generally unfavorable reviews' as of 6/25/14)


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