Sorvino, Scalia, and Fatone (playing himself) are really just the supporting cast. William Atherton and Paulie Walnuts sneak in there too.

The real heroes of the movie are The Complication, Nooki, and other Jersey Shore-type meatheads. You see, THEY are the only ones who can kill the shark. Maybe the shark is allergic to tannng lotion.

Another plus, it's Seaside Heights NJ. I go there all the time.

Could be awesome. Moving to top of rental queue.

This has potential. I want it to indulge. Really gouge their fucking eyes out. Just have the absolute sickest shit happen when the characters die. Like Hostel, when that asian girl gets here eye sockets burnt with a torch. Then I'll really like this movie.

I would like to watch the Jersey Shore cast murdered. For real. This movie could provide some cathartic violence to satisfy my fantasy.

Maybe there would be a market for an underground snuff film (fake snuff, of course) where they all get tortured and killed. Throw in the cast, the producers and the fans. Throw their demon babies in their air like skeet.

Meh. Just a thought.

Wow, the VFX make those from Megashark vs Giant Octopus look like they're from ILM.

It is sad that Paul Sorvino is subjected to this shit to make a living. But at the looks of his IMDB page he has been doing it for some time now.

You realize that nobody from the actual cast of the Jersey Shore is participating in this? Or are you just excited to see Guidos brutalized in general?

Wrong. Vinny has a cameo.

Paul Sorvino, you're better than this.

Nobody saw this when it was on Syfy? Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

since when? look at his filmography...it's been a while.

Yeah, Goodfellas was a LONG time ago.

Yeah and Cruising was even a LONGER time ago.

No thanks.

You mean that Nooki isn't supposed to be Snooki?

I'm no Nazi or anything. But if the Jersey Shore cast, crew and an arena of fans were locked in a sport arena. And said arena was bombed by the US government, I really don't know if I'd mind.

Kind of like when we murder all of those civilians overseas. I mean, it sucks that we murdered them. But I'm willing to overlook it.

This was just as hilariously awful as you might've thought.

It takes place in Seaside Heights. I've been going to SH my entire life, and outside of a few scenic and set-up shots, I guarantee the bulk of this movie was filmed nowhere near the place, since nothing was recognizable. Kind of like when Jason Voorhees went to Manhattan.

The acting by the forever nameless guido lunkheads is terrible, unless they're trying to be that bad as some sort of satire. If that's the case, they're geniuses. Jack Scalia tries hard, Paul Sorvino does not. Paulie Walnuts is the wise (!) old mentor who advises the shore gang.

It kind of boils down to the slobs vs. snobs, since the rich developers are the ones to blame for attracting the sharks with their drilling. A surprisingly large amount of insults directed towards the guidos that revolved around Italian food.

Special effects are Atari 2600 levels, actually painful to watch in some cases. The sharks were little more than albino blobs. Although there was a fun shot of

yes this was painfully hysterical.