A7: You sunk my career


Rihanna will make her film debut in May 2012 with Peter Berg's "Battleship," a sci-fi action movie based on the classic Battleship board game. Although Rihanna's specific role has yet to be confirmed, she'll be acting alongside Taylor Kitsch and Alexander Skarsgard, both of whom play brothers defending their ship against an alien invasion. [NYDailyNews.com]

I loved the alien aspect of Battleship.

Coming May 2013: Antoine Fuqua's Chutes And Ladders. Starring Ke$ha and Ken Watanabe, this tale set during the Third Crusades will mix action, romance, and remedial learning as Saracen heathens attempt to discredit Byzantine meritocracy in the classroom.

OMFG! When?

We need a Hungry Hungry Hippos movie in 3-D!!!

Well I can die a happy man now.

Well, now I can safely add this to my list of films that I won't see in 2012.

Meh, I'm not as excited for this as I am for Ridley Scott's Monopoly.

Wow the evidence of the world ending in 2012 is really starting to add up.

I'm actually looking forward to seeing Justin Bieber in Gus Van Sant's Candyland.

I hope people will stop complaining about Hollywood being creatively bankrupt.

I'll pass on this and watch the flam instead.

Uh....May 2013??

Eric Northman is in this? I would've thought this kinda material would be beneath him.

Rihanna's alien make-up test.

Life in 2012. What will it be like?

too soon

I love that a guy named "Kitsch" is in this.

The aliens in Battleship will look like Hungry Hungry Hippos, so you should be pleased.

Coming July 2014: Neveldine & Taylor's JENGA. Gerard Butler's mental and physical skills will be tested as he takes turns against a serial killer (played by John Malkovich) to remove a block from a tower and balance it on top, creating a taller and increasingly unstable structure as the game progresses.

They already have the taglines for marketing, "Next summer, the blocks will fall." and "What is Jenga?"

Per Neveldine, "Remember that Domination video game played by James Bond versus Maximilian Largo in NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN? Well, multiply the intensity by 100 times and that's what you will see our JENGA film."

Next thing you know, they'll be making a movie based on a ride at Disneyland...

I just can't fathom what aspects of the game could be used in a film script. Are the ship captains going to be calling out sector designations like A-7 and B-5 and how exciting would that be?

Nothing is beneath anyone for the right amount of $$$$.

I really don't know why they need to call the movie Battleship, as it really has nothing in common with the game.

That might not sound exciting but add a hand-held camera and MTV style editing and you've got...ummmm...yeah it still sounds shitty.