Oh, we get it. You think you’re sooo much better than Fergie, the singer for the Black Eyed Peas. Like you’ve never gotten so drunk you pissed yourself? Well, that’s not what your sheets said.

Granted, the band may have shown up an hour late for this show because, as they said, traffic was terrible. But that doesn’t explain the shitty performance that reportedly followed or what could simply be Fergie’s remarkably sweaty inner thighs. Those issues are best explained by being so inebriated as to pee your pants, which brings us back to our initial point: Like you’ve never done the exact same thing.