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California Man Files Suit to Take Wife's Last Name...

Old 01-13-07, 09:25 PM
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California Man Files Suit to Take Wife's Last Name...

California Man Files Lawsuit to Take Wife's Last Name
Saturday, January 13, 2007

<img src=http://www.foxnews.com/images/253827/0_61_buday_bijon.jpg>
Mike Buday and his wife Diana Bijon.

LOS ANGELES Mike Buday isn't married to his last name. In fact, he and his fiancee decided before they wed that he would take hers. But Buday was stunned to learn that he couldn't simply become Mike Bijon when they married in 2005.

As in most other states, that would require some bureaucratic paperwork well beyond what a woman must go through to change her name when marrying.

Instead of completing the expensive, time-consuming process, Buday and his wife, Diana Bijon, enlisted the American Civil Liberties Union and filed a discrimination lawsuit against the state of California. They claim the difficulty faced by a husband seeking to change his name violates the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment.

"Diana and I feel strongly about gender equality for both men and women," Buday said. "I think the most important thing in all of this is to bring it to a new level of awareness."

Mark Rosenbaum, legal director of the ACLU in Southern California, said it is the first federal lawsuit of its kind in the country. "It's the perfect marriage application for the 17th century," Rosenbaum said. <b>"It belongs in the same trash can as dowries."</b> <i>Ah, he doesn't agree with it, so it must belong in the trash can.</i>

Only six states Georgia, Hawaii, Iowa, Massachusetts, New York and North Dakota have statutes establishing equal name-change processes for men and women when they marry. In California and other states, men cannot choose a different last name while filing a marriage license.

In California, a man who wants to take his wife's name must file a petition, pay more than $300, place a public notice for weeks in a local newspaper and then appear before a judge.

Because of Buday's case, a California state lawmaker has introduced a bill to put a space on the marriage license for either spouse to change names.

The Census Bureau does not keep figures on how many U.S. men are taking their brides' names. But clearly it happening more and more. Milwaukee County, Wis., Clerk Mark Ryan estimated that one in every 100 grooms there now takes the name of his wife.

Bijon, 28, approached Buday about the idea when they were dating. She had no brothers but wanted to prolong the family name. Buday, a 29-year-old developer of interactive advertising, was estranged from his own father and was not attached to his own last name.

<b>"I knew immediately it was pretty important to her or else she wouldn't have brought it up," Buday said.</b> <i>No woman is worth that. </i>

At one point, the couple tried the Department of Motor Vehicles to get a name change. But Buday said he was told by a woman behind the counter: <b>"Men just don't do that type of thing."</b> <i>That's right...they don't.</i>

Couples who want to hyphenate or combine their names also must endure the lengthy court procedures in California. One of the more notable examples was Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who went to court to fuse his last name, Villar, with his wife's, Raigosa, when they married in 1987.

Laws giving women an easy choice of names were largely a byproduct of the feminist movement. A 2004 Harvard University study found that the number of college-educated women who kept their surnames upon marriage rose from about 3 percent in 1975 to nearly 20 percent in 2001.
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Old 01-13-07, 09:30 PM
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So what does he want to change his last name to? Lakkatesticles?
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Old 01-13-07, 09:32 PM
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I hope they win. It doesn't seem fair.
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Old 01-13-07, 10:19 PM
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A guy that my mom used to work with did this years ago. When he returned from his honeymoon he put a new nameplate on his desk with his wife's last name in the place of his own. We all thought it was pretty amusing and his co-workers' respect for the guy dropped down to zero.
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Old 01-13-07, 11:09 PM
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In California, a man who wants to take his wife's name must file a petition, pay more than $300, place a public notice for weeks in a local newspaper and then appear before a judge.
That, is fricking ridiculous right there. Here, I'll bold it for you
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Old 01-13-07, 11:37 PM
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If this is how the marriage has started, he should be ready for the roughest ride through hell ever imagined.
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Old 01-13-07, 11:50 PM
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My girlfriend and I have discussed doing this. I have a pretty common last name, and am not attached to it for any reason. She's attached to hers. I'd have no issue whatsoever taking my wife's name. And yeah, that makes me less of a man.
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Old 01-14-07, 09:02 AM
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Why should you take her name? Why not each just keep the names that you already have? Would you be self-conscious about being married and having different names? In my opinion, even considering this doesn't just make you less of a man, it makes you not a man at all.
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Old 01-14-07, 09:05 AM
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I think someone should file this under "Useless battles that don't need to be fought but someone got REALLLLLLLLLLY BORED"
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Old 01-14-07, 09:26 AM
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Now I'm not the most macho guy in the world, but I think a line does need to be drawn somewhere. The next thing you know this guy will be publicly walking a cat on a leash, or nursing his child with one of those fake strap-on breasts. And then before you know it, he will just reflexively and instantaneously change the channel when a movie comes on that involves swordfights, explosions, kung fu, or a guy shooting a machine gun in slow motion. Sad, really.
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Old 01-14-07, 09:30 AM
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I consider it pretty damn low on the priority scale, but I do agree with the couple's underlying point. CA should just fix it and be done with it.
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Old 01-14-07, 10:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Duran
I consider it pretty damn low on the priority scale, but I do agree with the couple's underlying point. CA should just fix it and be done with it.
As should the other 43 states that still have the antiquated laws. BTW, kind of surprised to see Georgia on the list of states that have an equal name-change process.

And in the spirit of full disclosure, both my wife and I retain our own birth names. (I admit, no way I ever would have changed mine.)
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Old 01-14-07, 10:25 AM
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I don't think is minor issue at all. Sure there are more important things but that is true about nearly all things. I think names are very important, knowing your true name is knowing your soul. A bond in name is just as important as a bond in flesh. Its a statement to world that you are one.

I would probably change my last name rather than have different last name or have my wife with hyphenated last name. However, I would rather have her change her last name. It would probably make me question if it was really the right time to be married if she fought me on it.

I'm curious, what last name do the kids get if you guys have different last names?
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Old 01-14-07, 10:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Ky-Fi
...The next thing you know this guy will be publicly walking a cat on a leash, or nursing his child with one of those fake strap-on breasts. And then before you know it, he will just reflexively and instantaneously change the channel when a movie comes on that involves swordfights, explosions, kung fu, or a guy shooting a machine gun in slow motion. Sad, really.
Agree with all that you said. And $10 says he already drives a Saturn.
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Old 01-14-07, 10:59 AM
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I've heard of this happening with friends of my parents - in a couple of Greek weddings - don't know if it had to do with religion or custom, but the fathers of these brides only gave blessing if the groom took the bride's name. In one case, I remember my dad showing me the pictures he took - I saw the bride and could see why the man would give up his name for her.

Yeah, just change the law and be done with it. No big deal.
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Old 01-14-07, 11:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Baron Of Hell
I don't think is minor issue at all. Sure there are more important things but that is true about nearly all things. I think names are very important, knowing your true name is knowing your soul. A bond in name is just as important as a bond in flesh. Its a statement to world that you are one.
33 years of marriage (and no one who knows us doubts it will be unto death) says we are one. Plenty of couples with the same name don't make it that long. I just think every couple should be able to make up their own minds without extra expense or hassle.

I would probably change my last name rather than have different last name or have my wife with hyphenated last name. However, I would rather have her change her last name. It would probably make me question if it was really the right time to be married if she fought me on it.
See, here I don't see how "her" commitment is any different than "his."

I'm curious, what last name do the kids get if you guys have different last names?
We didn't have kids but if we had we would have given my last name to boys and her last name to girls.

Last edited by movielib; 01-14-07 at 11:08 AM.
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Old 01-14-07, 12:30 PM
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Despite the uselessness of the suit, at least on both sides the lawyers will get paid(either money or noteriety).
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Old 01-14-07, 12:44 PM
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This is pretty outrageous. These heterosexuals are out to destroy traditional marriage! Time for a constitutional amendment to ban different-sex marriage!
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Old 01-14-07, 01:01 PM
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This would be a non-issue if people would just marry inside of the family.
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Old 01-14-07, 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted by ukywyldcat
<i>That's right...they don't.</i>
Well, since you're the gold standard of what men are, perhaps you should enlighten us on what "proper" marriage is between men and women.

Since you were able to say "Ah, he doesn't agree with it, so it must belong in the trash can." in the same breath, I'd like you to go prove how you're not being a hypocrite.
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Old 01-14-07, 01:30 PM
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I wonder how many strap-on's that the couple will be getting for wedding presents? I had a GTA for Western Civ that had a hyphenated last name, he was a great teacher and very entertaining, but I'll be damned if I had much respect for him as a man because of it.

I hope that they don't have any boys, because you know that boy will get a lot of shit for it as he grows up.
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Old 01-14-07, 01:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Red Dog
I've heard of this happening with friends of my parents - in a couple of Greek weddings - don't know if it had to do with religion or custom, but the fathers of these brides only gave blessing if the groom took the bride's name. In one case, I remember my dad showing me the pictures he took - I saw the bride and could see why the man would give up his name for her.

Yeah, just change the law and be done with it. No big deal.

I am extremely Greek and I've never heard this happen. In fact, most Greek elders are very demeaning towards women (most demand they be stay at home mom's, etc) and would never allow such a thing to happen. Last names are something to be proud of if you are a man.

The closest I've heard to this is a man taking a hyphenated name with his wife..so they had both names and the same names.

Also, this reminds me of Saving Silverman!!!
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Old 01-14-07, 02:06 PM
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My wife took my name just because neither of us had any issues with it.

But anyone who bases their "manliness" on what their name is must not have a lot going for them otherwise. And those that think men shouldn't do it - why is it any different than women changing their name?

Just add another line to the form and call it good, California. This shouldn't be opposed at all.
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Old 01-14-07, 03:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Draven
But anyone who bases their "manliness" on what their name is must not have a lot going for them otherwise.
Indeed. Suffering a little "short man syndrome" if you know what I'm saying.
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Old 01-14-07, 07:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Draven
My wife took my name just because neither of us had any issues with it.

But anyone who bases their "manliness" on what their name is must not have a lot going for them otherwise. And those that think men shouldn't do it - why is it any different than women changing their name?

Just add another line to the form and call it good, California. This shouldn't be opposed at all.
Agreed. I'm amazed at the number of men coming out of the woodwork to proclaim how unmanly this is. PLEASE. It's fucking ridiculous. Get over your male posturing bullshit already. Taking his wife's name doesn't suddenly make his penis disappear or something.

Last edited by GreenMonkey; 01-14-07 at 11:11 PM.
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