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Canada Busy Sending back Bush-dodgers

Old 11-24-04, 10:46 AM
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Canada Busy Sending back Bush-dodgers

Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
By JOE BLUNDO


The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among
leftleaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray
and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

''I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a
Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. ''He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. ''Not real effective," he said. ''The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet
liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station
wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for
themselves.

''A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an
Ontario border patrolman said. ''I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes
ingenious ways of crossing the border.

Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy
cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.

''If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk
Show, we get su****ious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

''I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just
can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. ''We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."
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Old 11-24-04, 10:52 AM
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gosh...I've missed this!!
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Old 11-24-04, 10:54 AM
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Old 11-24-04, 11:07 AM
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Take that Canada!!!! We want your jobs.
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Old 11-24-04, 11:36 AM
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''If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get su****ious about their age," an official said.
Just checking to see if "suspicious" was censored here or wherever she got the article from.

Looks like the latter.

Last edited by Dimension X; 11-24-04 at 11:38 AM.
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Old 11-24-04, 11:37 AM
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from where I got the article from. I have no idea why LOL
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Old 11-24-04, 11:39 AM
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Originally posted by mosquitobite
from where I got the article from. I have no idea why LOL
Must suck not to be able to use words like "spicy,", "spic-and-span," or "hospice."

"Mmm, that was one ****y meatball."
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Old 11-24-04, 11:40 AM
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Originally posted by mosquitobite
from where I got the article from. I have no idea why LOL
It seems it censored out the word "spic."
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Old 11-24-04, 01:09 PM
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"Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night."
What a scene that would be.
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Old 11-24-04, 01:20 PM
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"Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night."
Doesn't seem right. Those people could probably talk you to death on how something should be done but couldn't actually really do it in the real world.
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Old 11-24-04, 02:15 PM
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Originally posted by Dimension X
Just checking to see if "suspicious" was censored here or wherever she got the article from.

Looks like the latter.
Who are we to laugh at another forum's censor filter, when we can't use a certain word commonly used to describe sapiens of the human persuasion, or even other (extinct) members of our genus?

Let he who doesn't have a ridiculous autocensor cast the first *****.
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Old 11-24-04, 02:34 PM
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"Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night."
They are lucky Alberta isn't a border state cause they'd get shot.

Personally, I'm still waiting for the Adopt an American program to take effect. There has to be at least a couple of liberal hotties wanting to defect.
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Old 11-24-04, 02:52 PM
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Personally, I'm still waiting for the Adopt a Canadian program to take effect. There has to be at least a couple of conservative hotties wanting to defect.
That's better!
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Old 11-24-04, 03:00 PM
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Personally, I'm still waiting for the Adopt a Canadian program to take effect. There has to be at least a couple of conservative hunks wanting to defect.
Originally posted by Ranger
That's better!
......
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Old 11-24-04, 03:38 PM
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Old 11-24-04, 06:29 PM
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Please keep them, I don't want them back.
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Old 11-26-04, 08:08 PM
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And then Bush knelt before Cheney in the dark hologram room saying "What is thy dang biddin' chief?"
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Old 11-27-04, 06:06 PM
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this is from The Onion right?
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Old 11-27-04, 06:08 PM
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As I had predicted:

www.marryacanadian.com
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Old 11-27-04, 06:14 PM
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BWAHAHAHA!

"How many art-history majors does one country need?"
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Old 11-28-04, 01:31 PM
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Stirring up hate and discontent

:: Wouldn't have it any other way.
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Old 11-30-04, 05:04 PM
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Take that Canada!!!! We want your jobs.
What jobs? Canada is a high-skill, low-wage country, where the best prospects for its talented people are, as they always have been, in the United States.
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