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My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

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My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Old 08-19-21, 11:49 AM
  #126  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by The Cow View Post
Don't be so naďve.

And if/when she gets a lawyer, that will change.
We don't agree on much, but we do on this. I was going to say something myself but didn't want to pile on too hard.
Old 08-19-21, 11:53 AM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by nickdawgy View Post
even going as far as having sex on her desk at work.
Originally Posted by William Fuld View Post
Why do you know this?
He found the empty bottle of Huennekens and pieced it together. She also had a cashmere sweater with a tiny red dot on it.

Originally Posted by John Galt View Post
Yeah, and you roll your eyes hearing stories about David Duchovny being a sex addict. He's not a sex addict, he's just David Duchovny.
I remember a stand-up comedian who pointed that out. These "sex addict" celebrities are all hooking up with impossibly hot starlets. The comedian said, "That's not addiction, that's sex with beautiful women. When you can't say 'no' to a 300lb, 76-year old ex hooker with no teeth and one leg, THEN I'll believe you have an addiction."
Old 08-19-21, 12:03 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

It's only an addiction after you get caught cheating.
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Old 08-19-21, 12:11 PM
  #129  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
We don't agree on much, but we do on this. I was going to say something myself but didn't want to pile on too hard.
We don't? That's surprising, I don't express a lot of opinions here (at least I don't think I do, maybe I need to look at my history, )
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Old 08-19-21, 12:44 PM
  #130  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by danwiz View Post
Damn, what a f**king drama queen. I can't believe how much stuff like this you post - everything in your life is all about drama isn't, from buying a new car to a trip to Boston to my marriage may be over.
Nick, I hope you don't take danwiz' post as a personal attack, and maybe see that he has a valid point.

Like he mentions buying a new car. It's a great example. You went through all that shit the last time, and you could pay off your current car and have a few years of no-drama and no payments, even if it means not getting as much in trade when you eventually do get a new car. But you wouldn't do that. You had to get right back behind the 8-Ball.

Even in the original post, before the marriage there was partner-juggling and deceit.

Do you watch The Simpsons? There was a great early episode where Bart had to go to Moe's to get Homer, but it was right after one of Bart's prank phone calls that had Moe once again promising his death threats if he ever found the caller. Bart gulped, goes to the bar, and when he asks for his dad, Moe fumes "I KNOW THAT VOICE!"
Except he then turns all doting, "It's little Bart Simpson!". Bart is completely off the hook, as Moe doesn't recognize him as his nemesis from the phone calls. But when Moe says, "I bet you get into all kinds of monkeyshines", Bart sheepishly replies, "Well, I do make some prank phone calls....". Bart doesn't WANT to be off the hook, he wants that underlying threat of violence and danger to be there. He always wants to live on the edge.

Seriously Nick, is that you?
Old 08-19-21, 12:46 PM
  #131  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Holy balls, what a shit-show.

Nick - you're fucked, you need to realize that.




*And you deserve it.....
Old 08-19-21, 01:05 PM
  #132  
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Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
We don't agree on much, but we do on this. I was going to say something myself but didn't want to pile on too hard.
Yup, he has kids. He has a bankruptcy on his record. He’s a philanderer. It doesn’t matter that she has all those same things, she’s a mother and will win in any court. Does he even understand the ramifications of child support and alimony? And I think he said one kid was 4....so 14 years of that shit? And instead of taking advice and at least talking to a lawyer and developing a strategy to mitigate his risk, he’s going to keep on going with “oh, she’s not about money”. If she’s not about money, why did you get the Acura instead of the Toyota?
Old 08-19-21, 01:18 PM
  #133  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

This is the wife who wanted a new car even though the existing one was fine, right? Yeah, she's about money.
Old 08-19-21, 01:32 PM
  #134  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by John Galt View Post
Yup, he has kids. He has a bankruptcy on his record. He’s a philanderer. It doesn’t matter that she has all those same things, she’s a mother and will win in any court. Does he even understand the ramifications of child support and alimony? And I think he said one kid was 4....so 14 years of that shit? And instead of taking advice and at least talking to a lawyer and developing a strategy to mitigate his risk, he’s going to keep on going with “oh, she’s not about money”. If she’s not about money, why did you get the Acura instead of the Toyota?
Yep, I think Nick is going to be in for a pretty big surprise in court.

But after everything that he’s put his wife through for the last 20 years, I’m sure THIS will be the one divorce that goes well for the husband…

I wouldn’t be surprised if his wife has already gotten an attorney and has a game plan for screwing Nick…hard. If Nick walks into court with no attorney and nothing but his cheating dick in his hand, it’s going to be ugly.

Of course she wanted the nicer Acura. She’s going to get it in the settlement and Nick is still going to be paying for it. Why wouldn’t she go for the Acura over the Toyota?!
Old 08-19-21, 01:38 PM
  #135  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by Paff View Post
This is the wife who wanted a new car even though the existing one was fine, right? Yeah, she's about money.
Not necessarily. Maybe the passenger seat didn't fully recline?
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Old 08-19-21, 01:41 PM
  #136  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

I think this is the Boston weekend, so might be quite on Nick’s front until Sunday or next week.
Old 08-19-21, 02:00 PM
  #137  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by The Cow View Post
We don't? That's surprising, I don't express a lot of opinions here (at least I don't think I do, maybe I need to look at my history, )
Maybe Vibiana is a vegetarian.
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Old 08-19-21, 02:23 PM
  #138  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by Paff View Post
Nick, I hope you don't take danwiz' post as a personal attack, and maybe see that he has a valid point.

Like he mentions buying a new car. It's a great example. You went through all that shit the last time, and you could pay off your current car and have a few years of no-drama and no payments, even if it means not getting as much in trade when you eventually do get a new car. But you wouldn't do that. You had to get right back behind the 8-Ball.

Even in the original post, before the marriage there was partner-juggling and deceit.

Do you watch The Simpsons? There was a great early episode where Bart had to go to Moe's to get Homer, but it was right after one of Bart's prank phone calls that had Moe once again promising his death threats if he ever found the caller. Bart gulped, goes to the bar, and when he asks for his dad, Moe fumes "I KNOW THAT VOICE!"
Except he then turns all doting, "It's little Bart Simpson!". Bart is completely off the hook, as Moe doesn't recognize him as his nemesis from the phone calls. But when Moe says, "I bet you get into all kinds of monkeyshines", Bart sheepishly replies, "Well, I do make some prank phone calls....". Bart doesn't WANT to be off the hook, he wants that underlying threat of violence and danger to be there. He always wants to live on the edge.

Seriously Nick, is that you?
The thing that really struck me in the new car thread is that there was no attempt to at least see if there was a way to limit the expense now. I know I and others suggested contacting his credit union to see if he could get a better interest rate now rather than trying to refinance in a year or two, but he didn't have the patience to do that. He wanted the car now and just acted rather than even attempt to get a better loan. That short-term thinking is exactly what led to the poor marriage in the first place.
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Old 08-19-21, 03:26 PM
  #139  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

This thread really brought some old timers out of the woodwork, so in that way it's a real plus and a potential TOTY candidate.
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Old 08-19-21, 03:49 PM
  #140  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

This marriage never really had a chance of working. Sounds like two people who are unable to be alone. They want to screw around and selfishly gratify themselves, but still have companionship waiting at home when those flings inevitably fail. Needy people who are just takers and not givers.

I hope for both of you that you learn a whole lot about boundaries before you jump into your next relationships.
Old 08-19-21, 03:51 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

As others have said, do NOT take her word on anything regarding the divorce. She will take whatever she can get and more. When I was getting divorced I asked for equity in the house after it was sold. She lost her fucking mind. She then threatened to take half of my very large vinyl and dvd/bd collection. She then said after she got them, she’d send me a video of her destroying her half.
Keep in mind she’s the one that wanted the divorce. I got nothing except my stuff and the shitty car. No house, checking, savings, 401k nothing.
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Old 08-19-21, 04:30 PM
  #142  
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Did you at least keep the vinyl, Todd? That's VERY important.
Old 08-19-21, 04:39 PM
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Old 08-19-21, 04:42 PM
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Old 08-19-21, 05:42 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

If I was in a deteriorating marriage with a divorce imminent, I would hide all of my "toys" (record collection, comic book collection, books, DVDs, baseball cards; pretty much anything you collect that has sentimental value). Either send them to a friend or relative, or rent out a storage locker in my parents' name, and hide all of that stuff where she can't find it to hold it against you.

"I was depressed and gave them away."
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Old 08-19-21, 06:04 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

A man was looking for a used car. He saw a listing for a 2021 Porsche for $1000. He figured that it must be wrecked or something, but he decided to go take a look. A woman answered the door, and she took him to the garage. The car was beautiful, barely used, and still under warranty. The price didn't make sense.

He asked her, "Ma'am, if you don't mind me asking, why are you selling a year old Porsche for $1000?"

She said, "My husband ran off to Europe with his secretary six months ago. Yesterday he emailed me, asking me to sell his Porsche and send him the money."
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Old 08-19-21, 07:22 PM
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Same joke, as my favorite deleted scene.

Old 08-19-21, 07:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Josh-da-man View Post
If I was in a deteriorating marriage with a divorce imminent, I would hide all of my "toys" (record collection, comic book collection, books, DVDs, baseball cards; pretty much anything you collect that has sentimental value). Either send them to a friend or relative, or rent out a storage locker in my parents' name, and hide all of that stuff where she can't find it to hold it against you.

"I was depressed and gave them away."
I moved all my baseball cards out. My wife thought they were just worthless pieces of cardboard anyway but there was a good six figure collection there, and she didn’t ask for any.

I didn’t have time to move all my records, so she snagged about half my collection but I’ve replaced all but two and still have open ebay searches going for those.

We had two houses and each had very similar equity, so we each got one. I kept the rental property, she kept the personal residence which was worth twice as much (but obviously a larger note) as the other. She could have asked for more from me to cover the difference in eventual realtor fees but I don’t think she ever even thought about that.

She would have also been entitled to essentially half of a very substantial 401k since I made all the contributions and growth while we were married. She said that was my money and she didn’t want any of it.
Old 08-19-21, 07:39 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by Toddarino View Post
As others have said, do NOT take her word on anything regarding the divorce. She will take whatever she can get and more. When I was getting divorced I asked for equity in the house after it was sold. She lost her fucking mind. She then threatened to take half of my very large vinyl and dvd/bd collection. She then said after she got them, she’d send me a video of her destroying her half.
Keep in mind she’s the one that wanted the divorce. I got nothing except my stuff and the shitty car. No house, checking, savings, 401k nothing.
I'm almost afraid to ask but how did you not get half of the house and bank accounts?
Old 08-19-21, 08:14 PM
  #150  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

How can you get all the experience of marriage without actually marrying someone?

Spoiler:
Find a woman you hate and buy her a house
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