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My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

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My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Old 08-31-21, 11:36 AM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Why he hasn’t spoken to a lawyer and begun preparing for his exit is beyond me.
There’s definitely no good guy/ bad guy here, but her recent actions really are a slap in the face.
Old 08-31-21, 12:03 PM
  #352  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by Toddarino View Post
Why he hasnít spoken to a lawyer and begun preparing for his exit is beyond me.
Think of it as a high school drama book with chapters rather than a single story with resolutions. The many car threads are chapters in a different book.

Here's some more chapters from this book, believe what you wish.

Nickdawgy's Houseguest....Taking Advantage Of Him And The Wife?...Possible threesome?

Story Of A Lonely Guy (Not Quite Dear Penthouse, But Close Enough)

Neighbors Have No Respect.... What To Do?

Trying To Help A Friend That's Hurting Inside....Advice?

Nickdawgy Meets The Process Server!

It's Not His Responsibility! Another Episode of the Nickdawgy In-Law Chronicles

In-Laws/Wife Issue Ultimatum: Work Or Get Out!



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Old 08-31-21, 12:06 PM
  #353  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Being a doormat doesn't help either, because it reads that every time she throws a fit, nick tries to placate. It's so far beyond that now.
Old 08-31-21, 12:25 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by clckworang View Post
OK, I'm with you on the whole your wife shouldn't be pleasuring herself while your daughter is asleep next to her, but complaining about Scottish guy being controlling for telling her to quit OF when you were the one who controlled her in making her start it in the first place? I can't really get behind you on that. You're annoyed that they're not paying her and talking about the money she brings in when you should be the one encouraging her to not be exploiting herself for other men's pleasure.
You are 1000% correct. I shouldn't have asked her to do it. I mentioned starting one as a fun diversion to make extra cash. I never thought it would lead to the end of my marriage.
Old 08-31-21, 12:26 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by emanon View Post
How, and where to? He has no income.
It's still my money in the account, too. It's not like I never worked and saved.
Old 08-31-21, 12:31 PM
  #356  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by GoldenJCJ View Post
No less discrete than having sex with your partner while your baby is sleeping in bassinet beside the bed or something. Not the best parenting? Sure. Not being mindful of your child? Yep. Abuse? Not so sure.

I donít want to get lost in the weeds in this sexual stuff but as unfortunate as it seems, I donít think thatís the biggest problem right now. Iím not sure how Only Fans works but I assume if people are still paying the subscription then the show must go on. Considering Nick is the one who started the whole OF account, him screaming ďthink of the children!Ē NOW after allowing it to go on for the last several months without an issue sounds pretty hollow.

It definitely sounds like his wife is purposely making a scene out of it to get Nick upset but a scorned women trying to piss off her man isnít exactly breaking news.


Right. My advice at this point is that staying in the same house is no longer working for anyoneís best interest (I could see the benefit of staying for the kids but thatís obviously no longer the case) and itís best to leave and stay somewhere else but Nick may be stuck in his current situation. If his wife makes the money (and she seems to be the breadwinner on OF) heís kind of SOL. Iím hoping Nick has SOMEONE he can stay with for a while, his parents, siblings, etc. but when you bring kids into someone elseís home it adds another layer of complicated crap.
I have places to go. I can stay here. She was more than willing to leave and come back after work every day. I just wanted her to be able to wake up with the kids and see them. I didn't know she was going to talk to these guys still.
Old 08-31-21, 12:32 PM
  #357  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
Wait a minute. NICK initiated the OnlyFans thing? So basically you whored your wife out to strangers and are now upset that she's acting like a whore.

Jesus Christ on a slab of rye.
Yes. Very much my fault. Which is what I said in the very first post.
Old 08-31-21, 12:38 PM
  #358  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by nickdawgy View Post
You are 1000% correct. I shouldn't have asked her to do it. I mentioned starting one as a fun diversion to make extra cash. I never thought it would lead to the end of my marriage.
Honestly, I think Onlyfans was just the final nail in the coffin. It sounds like there were a lot of unfixed problems along the way and the end result was inevitable.

Broken record time... it's over. Leave, take care of the kids and get a lawyer.
Old 08-31-21, 12:39 PM
  #359  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

The thread title says "Need Advice". How many people need to tell you to get a lawyer before you at least call one and inquire?
Old 08-31-21, 12:55 PM
  #360  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by nickdawgy View Post
I have places to go. I can stay here. She was more than willing to leave and come back after work every day. I just wanted her to be able to wake up with the kids and see them. I didn't know she was going to talk to these guys still.
I 100% agree that IF things were somewhat manageable at the house it would probably be in the kidsí best interest to still have mom and dad living there keeping the most normal routine possible. Unfortunately, it sounds like over the last couple of weeks, at least, that might not be for the best anymore. My advice, would be if you could leave and stay somewhere with the kids while this process plays out, it would be best. Kids can sense weird tension and unhealthy conversations between adults even if you donít realize it. They need to be protected from this the best you can. Sounds like your wife is having a crisis of her own at the moment and may not be thinking clearly of the kids needs. Thatís where you need to step in.

Best of luck to you. This is not an easy situation. Shitís about to feel real once the home environment is officially disrupted.
Old 08-31-21, 01:16 PM
  #361  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by GoldenJCJ View Post
I 100% agree that IF things were somewhat manageable at the house it would probably be in the kidsí best interest to still have mom and dad living there keeping the most normal routine possible. Unfortunately, it sounds like over the last couple of weeks, at least, that might not be for the best anymore. My advice, would be if you could leave and stay somewhere with the kids while this process plays out, it would be best. Kids can sense weird tension and unhealthy conversations between adults even if you donít realize it. They need to be protected from this the best you can. Sounds like your wife is having a crisis of her own at the moment and may not be thinking clearly of the kids needs. Thatís where you need to step in.

Best of luck to you. This is not an easy situation. Shitís about to feel real once the home environment is officially disrupted.
Honestly I believe that she would be extremely happy if I took the kids and left or if she left and came over every day. She wants to be uninhibited with these guys.
Old 08-31-21, 01:30 PM
  #362  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by nickdawgy View Post
Thats the thing. It wasn’t paid. Not that I’d be okay if it was. But she befriends these fans and says she’s not a good business person when I tell her to ask them to pay. So annoying. In fact Scottish guy told her to quit OF. Thousands of dollars a month gone because he wants to control her. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one that said get divorced.
It sounds like you're angry that you've lost thousands of dollars a month. Right now, today, not one of those past mistakes.

Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
Wait a minute. NICK initiated the OnlyFans thing? So basically you whored your wife out to strangers and are now upset that she's acting like a whore.

Jesus Christ on a slab of rye.
Originally Posted by nickdawgy View Post
Yes. Very much my fault. Which is what I said in the very first post.
Apologizing to her for the fault but getting angry at her because she no longer posts videos doesn't show true repentance.

Originally Posted by nickdawgy View Post
You are 1000% correct. I shouldn't have asked her to do it. I mentioned starting one as a fun diversion to make extra cash. I never thought it would lead to the end of my marriage.
Originally Posted by nickdawgy View Post
It's still my money in the account, too. It's not like I never worked and saved.
Dude, stop. You're just making yourself look worse. Did you earn that money working as her cameraman? No wonder she's done with you.

My recommendation is that you request that this thread be locked and you stop making incriminating posts. Maybe your wife doesn't want to fight, but will the Scottish guy? Just . . . talk to a lawyer.

If you think my post is harsh, and stringing together comments you made to put you in a bad light, remember that I'm an amateur. A divorce lawyer is a professional at making you look bad.
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Old 08-31-21, 01:42 PM
  #363  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

And yes. I am fucked up. No more suicidal thoughts thankfully, but I want my wife back. I haven't been single in 23 years (her plus the previous ex). I am at a loss. I don't want her here if she's shooting me down every time I suggest working on things, but I know that her being away from me opens the floodgates for more talks with guys. After she created a new IG account, she told me she started reaching out to old contacts. These are unfortunately mostly people that she's either slept with or had some sort of online relations via OF.

I really don't know why I need a lawyer when she doesn't want anything. That's how much she doesn't like me. She's giving up everything she is entitled to just to try and appease me to make it an easier process. I can see maybe getting a lawyer if I want the kids full time. But she would probably agree to it.

You guys can mock me. Insult me. Whatever. I am just in a daze and have no fucking idea what and where I'm going to go in life.
Old 08-31-21, 01:46 PM
  #364  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

So you've filed? No? Then stop bullshitting us.
Old 08-31-21, 01:54 PM
  #365  
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Just my opinion, but I would see if she would actually be willing to leave. Your kids need some normalcy, especially with the separation and divorce on the horizon. And while nothing seems to be normal between the parents, the kids should at least be able to wake up in their own beds each morning. If she refuses to go, then you need to look into temporary arrangements. But a lawyer would tell you the best way to handle this.

Regardless if your daughter is sleeping, your wife has crossed the line. The last thing your daughter needs to wake up to is hearing your wife moaning while doing her thing. This marriage is over, just let your wife move on with her life. If/when things don't work out for her she may come back. If she doesn't then it's probably for the best. You both have a lot of maturing to do and that should start by helping your kids get through this.
Old 08-31-21, 01:58 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post
It sounds like you're angry that you've lost thousands of dollars a month. Right now, today, not one of those past mistakes.



Apologizing to her for the fault but getting angry at her because she no longer posts videos doesn't show true repentance.





Dude, stop. You're just making yourself look worse. Did you earn that money working as her cameraman? No wonder she's done with you.

My recommendation is that you request that this thread be locked and you stop making incriminating posts. Maybe your wife doesn't want to fight, but will the Scottish guy? Just . . . talk to a lawyer.

If you think my post is harsh, and stringing together comments you made to put you in a bad light, remember that I'm an amateur. A divorce lawyer is a professional at making you look bad.
I was talking about the bank account not the OF.
Old 08-31-21, 01:59 PM
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Originally Posted by AGuyNamedMike View Post
So you've filed? No? Then stop bullshitting us.
I have not and I won't. It'll be her. Then I'll probably string it along like some douche bag that thinks I have a chance all the while she is out there living her life.
Old 08-31-21, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by darkdaze73 View Post
Just my opinion, but I would see if she would actually be willing to leave. Your kids need some normalcy, especially with the separation and divorce on the horizon. And while nothing seems to be normal between the parents, the kids should at least be able to wake up in their own beds each morning. If she refuses to go, then you need to look into temporary arrangements. But a lawyer would tell you the best way to handle this.

Regardless if your daughter is sleeping, your wife has crossed the line. The last thing your daughter needs to wake up to is hearing your wife moaning while doing her thing. This marriage is over, just let your wife move on with her life. If/when things don't work out for her she may come back. If she doesn't then it's probably for the best. You both have a lot of maturing to do and that should start by helping your kids get through this.
I know for a fact I have a lot of maturing to do. I haven't been single since I was 20 and any previous relationship before that was a few months. She would be more than willing to not be here. And I can find someone else. But it won't be her.

And we don't have the money for lawyers. So yeah that is why I am not getting a lawyer.
Old 08-31-21, 02:03 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Nick, it doesn't sound like you've taken action at all. And you keep referring to 'these guys' sort of dispassionately. I'm starting to wonder what's going on. Given the benefit of the doubt, I'd say you're completely numb and not thinking at all, let alone thinking straight.

You need a lawyer or at least a mediator because a marriage is a legal contract. You have to file a legal petition to dissolve the marriage. Unless you want to go on legal zoom and throw that all together yourself, get some help.

If your wife is getting advice from ANY OTHER PERSON they are telling her to go after your assets.

Splash some cold water on your face and talk to a professional. Any kind of professional. Even a plumber or electrician will maybe get you to understand that this is a real thing you need to deal with. (If it is a real thing, that is.)

ETA: Just read your other replies. Sitting around doing nothing is the worst thing you can do.
Old 08-31-21, 02:28 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Originally Posted by nickdawgy View Post
And we don't have the money for lawyers. So yeah that is why I am not getting a lawyer.
But the thousands of dollars a month
Old 08-31-21, 02:41 PM
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Originally Posted by nickdawgy View Post

And we don't have the money for lawyers. So yeah that is why I am not getting a lawyer.
Mailing Christmas presents to Scotland costs money too.
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Old 08-31-21, 02:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Decker View Post
The thread title says "Need Advice". How many people need to tell you to get a lawyer before you at least call one and inquire?
I guess technically it doesn't say "I'll take the advice" which is exactly what is happening here. I can't believe he's still asking why he needs a lawyer.
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Old 08-31-21, 02:55 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

With each post of Nick's, I lean more and more to this being bullshit. Perhaps there are elements of truth, but I question all of it.

If true though, what an utter disaster.
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Old 08-31-21, 03:08 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

I'm no fan of adoption, but Nick's kids would be better off being raised by wolves at this point.
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Old 08-31-21, 03:20 PM
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re: My Marriage May Be Over....Need Advice :( (Also need Beans)

Nick, I hate to say it, but you are going to have to learn the hard way. I have lost count at the people who have told you, including myself, to get a lawyer and take care of your kids. It's going in one ear and out the other. Wake up! There's worse things in the world than being single. Life can and will go on without her. I'm not trying to kick you when you are down, but dang, get your head on straight and start thinking clearly.

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