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So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

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So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Old 09-06-21, 09:52 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

eventually you'll just have to live your life and those who want to come along with you on your journey will, others you'll just have to leave behind, and not look back.
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Obi-Wanma (09-07-21)
Old 09-07-21, 12:41 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Originally Posted by Obi-Wanma View Post
So I have my first negative experience with this to report... I haven't come out to anyone else, but I took a chance with my brother. I had my wife paint my toenails Mazie and Blue (Michigan colors) this past week. My brother and i usually attend Michigan football games together. I was at my mom's house for a BBQ today, and I took one of my socks off to show him and said, "Look what I let *wife's name redacted* do."

I thought he might laugh, but his first response was, "You ***!"

Now I guess he might have been joking, but I have long moved past the phase where a slur is considered a joke, and I had hoped that he would have too.

I didn't let him know, but that hurt me, and it certainly doesn't make me feel any better about telling him the whole truth one day when this is how he reacted to something that shouldn't really be threatening in any way to him.
disclaimer: my comments are based on what you wrote, not what may have actually happened.

You show him something unexpected without context (especially at a BBQ at your mom's house) and have an expectation of him reacting a certain way.

Perhaps there were more words exchanged that you didn't share with us, but based on what you wrote, I think you are being a bit unfair in your assessment of your brother. It is quite possible that had you met with him on a separate occasion to have a one-on-one conversation with him that his reaction would be different.
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Old 09-07-21, 12:50 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

I get that, and I also hope his reaction would be better if he knew the whole truth and how much this is tearing me apart, but it still bothers me that his first reaction to something innocent and silly was to call me a homophobic slur, even it it was intended as a joke.
Old 09-07-21, 01:00 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Just to add a little, the only context is that we were done eating and sitting on the couch. My wife and his wife were there and were the only ones that saw this exchange. His wife smiled and laughed.

After he said the first comment, he asked if the other foot was painted the same way, and I said yes. Then he basically said that I dare you to wear flip flops to the next game, as if that was some big challenge. Honestly, I would do that if I didn't have to walk so far from the car to our seats. He doesn't know this, but I have pretty much been walking around in flip flops with my toes painted all the time (apart form at work) since my wife and I had our little weekend in June and not a single person has said a word to me about it.

I take that back, I did go to urgent care like this one night, and the doctor complimented my "beautiful pedicure". That's the only reaction that I have gotten. Most people don't notice or care, or if they do, they don't say anything.
Old 09-07-21, 01:21 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

My only male employee is ... well I don't know for sure, but I think he's gay or bi or non-binary. He works at the check out window in my medical office. He paints his nails pink or red and lets them grow long. I don't have a problem with it and I don't think any of the parents in my office do either. If they do, nobody has ever said anything to me. It's not the sort of thing that bothers or threatens people these days.
Old 09-07-21, 01:24 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

I also wouldn't invite trouble by inferring intolerance in his comments, you can only build up feelings that might not be warranted. Just be honest with him next time.
Old 09-07-21, 01:27 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Originally Posted by Kurt D View Post
I also wouldn't invite trouble by inferring intolerance in his comments, you can only build up feelings that might not be warranted. Just be honest with him next time.
Yeah, I agree. I wouldn't use a slur if my friend showed me his painted toenails, but I don't think my first response would be anything close to "I guess you're struggling with gender identity issues and I'm here to help".
Old 09-07-21, 01:43 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

It wasn't my intent to breach those grounds. I didn't expect him to reach out or even ask why I did it. Like I said, I thought he might laugh, and that was it.

It's just that the first words out of his mouth were "You ***" set me aback and made me wonder about his tolerance for such things.
Old 09-07-21, 01:49 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

^ That is fair. I hope he shows more sensitivity and open-mindedness in the future.

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Old 09-09-21, 11:16 AM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Went to my appointment yesterday. They basically just educated me about the process and did some baseline bloodwork. I have a follow up on 10/4 to go over the results and then hopefully I can start.
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Old 09-09-21, 12:18 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

I'm curious, what were they looking for? Did they tell you? Was it just checking your PSA and Cholesterol before starting this medicine or was it more looking as testosterone levels and such?
Old 09-09-21, 12:29 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Pretty much all of the above. I don't have the lab order with me because they drew it on site, but it was like 8 vials of blood.

Cholesterol, Liver function, hormone levels, and probably a bunch more. I didn't ask for a list, but I will have the results soon enough if you're interested in knowing exactly what they screened.
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Old 09-09-21, 02:36 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Would the medication just be estrogen, or would you have adrogen-blockers as well? Are you at all concerned that if they block or decrease your testosterone that it might affect your libido?
Old 09-09-21, 03:13 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

I may need blockers depending on my levels, but my doctor is not a proponent of keeping people on bickers indefinitely and believes that T can ultimately be controlled through just Estrogen and Progesterone, he doesn't add the Progesterone until later though.

It probably will affect my libido until things are where we want them to be, but I'm not super concerned about that at the moment. The Progesterone is supposed to help with that.
Old 09-09-21, 04:33 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

I'm glad you've got a doctor willing to help, I read a lot of horror stories of people unable to get their medical network to do anything for them.
Old 09-09-21, 04:43 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

^ Are those doctors unwilling to help, or insurance companies unwilling to pay? Because those are two very different things.
Old 09-09-21, 05:48 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Yeah, the doctor that I'm seeing for this specializes in this and people come from all over to see him, even internationally. This is what he does. Luckily, he's in my area. Medications should be covered by my insurance, beyond that, I don't know, but, it's in his interest to get me the care I need.

This is not my primary care doctor, though he may become that. It is a Family Practice, even though this is his area of specialty. I actually haven't even told my primary doctor about this yet, and I probably won't until I'm sure I'm about to go on something. I don't know if she'll want to continue seeing me or if I should just plan on going to this place from now on. I'll figure that out eventually.
Old 09-09-21, 06:31 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

yeeaahhhhhhhhhh, you really don't want your regular pcp to be dabbling in this type of thing. best for them to just be supportive and get the patient to an appropriate clinic that specializes in this sort of thing.
Old 09-09-21, 07:18 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Yeah, but not everyone has someone who specializes in stuff like this nearby, which is probably the kind of thing that milo was getting at.

For me, I went to a therapist first and then after I was sure this is something that I wanted to pursue further, I started looking for specialists, of which there actually are several in this area.

If you live somewhere rural or perhaps in the Bible belt, it's probably a lot harder to find someone to help
Old 09-10-21, 01:13 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Originally Posted by story View Post
Maybe. We still have four months. Any of us may still end up with a landlord on our case for sleeping in the top bunk while taking home items from the Walmart bin as a "nice bargain" to pay for our giant G.I. Joe tattoo that we show off as an exotic dancer for our friends after a refreshing drink at a concert.
It's not Thread of the Year unless someone is buying a laptop for a woman who tastes like honey.

But this is a nice thread and it will get my vote. I'm very glad things are generally going so well for you, Obi-Wanma -- I hope the comment from your brother turns out to be an outlier.
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Old 09-15-21, 08:19 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Originally Posted by Decker View Post
I'm curious, what were they looking for? Did they tell you? Was it just checking your PSA and Cholesterol before starting this medicine or was it more looking as testosterone levels and such?
I don't have the results yet (and if I did, I wouldn't post them here, lol) but I was able to find the list of stuff they were testing:

Lab Tests:
ESTROGEN, TOTAL, SERUM, ANDROSTENEDIONE, DHEA SULFATE, PROLACTIN, COMPREHENSIVE METABOLIC PANEL, CBC (INCLUDES DIFF/PLT), PROGESTERONE, ESTRONE, FSH AND LH, ESTRADIOL, FREE, ESTRONE SULFATE, LIPID PANEL, STANDARD, DIHYDROTESTOSTERONE, TESTOSTERONE, FREE (DIALYSIS), TOTAL (MS) AND SEX HORMONE BINDING GLOBULIN, ,
Old 10-06-21, 06:59 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

I just picked up my estrogen pills and blockers. Guess I'm really doing this, lol.
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Old 10-06-21, 10:13 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

The Adventure Begins!
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Old 10-08-21, 11:32 AM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Originally Posted by Obi-Wanma View Post
I just picked up my estrogen pills and blockers. Guess I'm really doing this, lol.
Make sure to keep us abreast of any developments.
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Old 10-08-21, 04:22 PM
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Re: So one of my kids is trans... and I think that I am too.

Originally Posted by Obi-Wanma View Post
I just picked up my estrogen pills and blockers. Guess I'm really doing this, lol.
If this is too personal of a question, by all means ignore it. I mean no disrespect when I ask this, but what is the end game of all this? Do you want to live your life as a woman? Do you want to date men? Is your wife still ok with this?

Like I said in my original post in this thread, I know absolutely nothing about this subject. I wish you the best of luck in your new journey and I hope everything turns out the way you want it. There are so many people in life that are miserable, I hope you find the happiness you are searching for. Good luck with everything!
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