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Another Neighbor Problem

Old 09-17-19, 02:07 PM
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Another Neighbor Problem

You guys always seem amused by my neighbor stories, so here’s another chapter of the saga.

Part 1 of the story happened in June. I’m sitting outside reading a book alone around noon. I glance up and I’m surprised to see a person standing up fully astride the very top of the roof.

Here’s a picture I took today so you can better understand the layout.

https://postimg.cc/JDKhNYXv

That’s a two story building. For an idea of scale that wall/fence is 8 feet tall. The top of the roof must be 20-25 feet off the ground.

It’s an unatttached garage with a small apartment unit upstairs.

So the person is standing right at the peek of the roof. It’s a teenage boy. The neighbors have a teenage boy, but I wasn’t sure if it was him or one of his buddies. The other side of the structure has a second floor balcony, so he’d shimmied up there for some reason. I wasn’t sure if he was going to jump into my pool or what. I just said, “Hey.” Because I was really surprised. The kid looked down and saw me and was really startled. He scrambled down really fast. Afterward I wasn’t thrilled with how I handled it. I felt bad that I’d startled him. What if he’d been so startled he fell off the roof. Or what if he hurt himself getting down. I mean this guy flew down he was sostartled.

I just thought it was stupid teen behavior. I told the wife about it. BIG MISTAKE. The summer of 2019 became the Summer of the Roof Incident. Everywhere we went it was like, “Honey tell the roof story.” Every time we were shooting the shit with friends it was, “Tell them what the neighbors son did.” Blah, blah, blah. I got so tired of it.

I never said a word about it to the neighbor.

Part 2

Fast forward to Labor Day weekend.

It’s become clear throughout the summer that the neighbor family has let their high school freshman son move into the unit above the garage. He’s going to live there instead of in the house. The kid has some friends over and I can hear some noise. Just a few kids having a little party, no big deal.

I’m watching TV at 11:30 pm and my wife starts shouting, “He’s on the roof again. He’s on the roof again! I can see him!”

I’m like “Whatever. Who gives a fuck?” I’m so tired of this roof story, I wish I’d never told her.

She insists I come look and see. I look out and this time the person isn’t standing on the roof, he’s on his belly and I can see his head peering over the side looking at us.

My wife is like, “Do something!”
I’m like, “What do you want me to do?”
She’s like, “I don’t know.”

So I just yell at him. I don’t even care if he falls at this point. I’m so annoyed. I yelll, “Get the fuck down. Fuck off outa here. It was one thing during the day, the middle of the night is another. Get the fuck outa here!”

And the fucking kid just keeps watching me. In total defiance he just stays right where he is.

I said, “You are just too stupid. I can’t fucking believe you are this stupid. Get out of here or I will fuck you up.”

Now here’s where I maybe went a little too far.

I shouted, “What if I had a gun you dumb shit? You don’t know me. What if I was a nut with a gun. You could be fucking dead right now.”

He finally climbed down out of view and I could here a lot of chuckling and “You dumb ass,” remarks between the kids.

So the kid’s dad comes over the next day for the super uncomfortable talk. He informs me of what I already know, that his son will be living in the garage unit now. I inform him about what happened in June, and that I regret having not told him about the incident sooner. I told him part of my anger came from the fact that this wasn’t the first incident, that this is repeat behavior, and that I don’t like my wife being peeped on at 11:30 at night.

The guy is a fucking lawyer and he gives me such a lawyer answer. He’s all like, “Technically he was on my property. Did he come on to your property? Did he damage anything on your property?”

I said, “No, but it’s wrong behavior nevertheless.”

Blah, blah, blah we shook hands. I figured it was settled.

But the kicker is the neighbor’s wife. She won’t even look at me now. We used to have a casual friendly relationship. We’d wave when she’d drive by. Now no wave, no smile. Why? Because I yelled at her peeping dipshit son? That’s pretty weak. Your kid was dumb. Don’t treat me like a villain.









Last edited by Mabuse; 09-17-19 at 07:08 PM.
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Old 09-17-19, 02:13 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Am I blind? I see no person.
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Old 09-17-19, 02:13 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

You need a higher fence?
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Old 09-17-19, 02:15 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

[moving to DEAD POOL 2019]
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Old 09-17-19, 02:36 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Originally Posted by Groucho View Post
Am I blind? I see no person.
The person is in Mabuse's head.
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Old 09-17-19, 02:38 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

The whole story is up now. The picture is for reference to understand the layout.
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Old 09-17-19, 02:40 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Your stories never fail to amuse. That you thought to threaten with violence and a gun (or faux-threaten, I guess) before, I dunno, talking to the family or the police is highly amusing and predictable.
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Old 09-17-19, 02:48 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Alternative solution: Shut the blinds, go to sleep, talk to the parents in the morning.

Don't blame the neighbors wife for distancing herself from you. You come off as a psycho.
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Old 09-17-19, 02:53 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Some of the things you said to him the second time come across as a bit...questionable. You just keep being you, Mabuse.
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Old 09-17-19, 02:56 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

1. Can you straight dudes please consign the use of the term "the wife" instead of "my wife" to the oblivion it so richly deserves? It's dismissive and insulting to your wife. She's a who, not a what.

2. Patented Lunatikk Advice: wait till your neighbors are asleep, then burn the place to the ground.

3. Please see someone about your anger issues. If I were your neighbor's wife I would be leery of you too.
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Old 09-17-19, 03:01 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

This teenage boy is successfully mind-fucking you.

Don't worry about it.

So the kid’s dad comes over the next day for the super uncomfortable talk. He informs me of what I already know, that his son will be living in the garage unit now. I inform him about what happened in June, and that I regret having not told him about the incident sooner. I told him part of my anger came from the fact that this wasn’t the first incident, that this is repeat behavior, and that I don’t like my wife being peeped on at 11:30 at night.
You failed to inform this guy about the situation. To him, you just made the shit up. You can't go around telling people about stuff that happened a long time ago, then pairing it with a recent incident...in order to demonstrate...behavior. You need more than that. You need to demonstrate you are on the level and aren't being "that neighbor" which most people try to avoid.

The guy is a fucking lawyer and he gives me such a lawyer answer. He’s all like, “Technically he was on my property. Did he come on to your property? Did he damage anything on your property?”
He asked the right question. He was trying to figure out what was the problem, and if there was any damages his dumbass kid did to your property. There was none...so listen up--NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Whatever the kid's issues are, are to be solved by the father and the mother. There's probably other stuff going on you aren't aware of, and shouldn't be.

Hate to be direct Mabuse, but you need to focus elsewhere.
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Old 09-17-19, 03:12 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

I'm going to go ahead and say that of all the stories you've posted, I think your response in this one was the most reasonable. I'm not sure exactly what I would have done, but threats of violence would be in the realm of possibility.
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Old 09-17-19, 03:27 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

I'm going to go ahead and say this thread does not deliver.

But yes, it is hard to think of the right thing to say at the moment you witness a teen doing something stupid.

My response would have been to squeal "I'm going to spray acid in your eyeeeeees!"
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Old 09-17-19, 03:29 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Unless he's spying into your home, why do you care if he slips and kills himself on his own property?

Another option would be to sit outside and just stare at him when he's on the roof. Don't say anything; don't make any faces....just stare at him in silence the whole time. I'd guess that would get him to stop doing it soon enough.
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Old 09-17-19, 03:56 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Easy solution. Close and cover that window at night... Call the cops the next time, she can tell them that she was sexusally harrassed, that will get their attention.

And the lawyer neighbor can go fuck himself (you know as well as I that lawyer neighbors are *always* "right". There's no bargaining or reasoning with them).

Thirdly, that's no bridge burned between your wife and the neighbor's wife. In fact she is better off for it. People like the neighbor's wife aren't worth the trouble. Tell your wife that she should be happy now that she know that lady's true colors, and can happily discard that relationship..
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Old 09-17-19, 03:59 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Originally Posted by zyzzle View Post
Thirdly, that's no bridge burned between your wife and the neighbor's wife. In fact she is better off for it. People like the neighbor's wife aren't worth the trouble. Tell your wife that she should be happy now that she know that lady's true colors, and can happily discard that relationship..
How do you know so much about the neighbor's wife? Are you the son on top of the neighbor's roof?

This is literally all he wrote about her: " But the kicker is the neighbor’s wife. She won’t even look at me now. We used to have a casual friendly relationship. We’d wave when she’d drive by. Now no wave, no smile. "
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Old 09-17-19, 04:07 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

The best option is call the police. That should have been the first thing you should have done in the first place/incident. It's happening again because you chose the soft option. Talking gets nowhere. Action does.
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Old 09-17-19, 04:28 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Wow, that is some serious over-reaction about a kid being on the roof of his own house. This is pretty common teenage behavior, hell Tom Petty even opens a song with lyrics about sitting on the roof smoking cigarettes and staring at the moon. My neighbors kid used to do this from time to time & I would simply wave and forget about it. It's not a personal insult. If he wanted to peep, he could simply look out those two windows, which look to offer roughly the same view.

And it could be that the first time he was even cleaning the gutters or a dozen other things people do on the roofs of their own houses. If I were these neighbors I would get a restraining order.
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Old 09-17-19, 04:39 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

I used to jump off the roof of our one-story house as a kid all the time. I bent the decorative railing in the front because I used it to climb up so much. If the kid was looking at your house at night once, just ignore it. Twice, go talk to the family. Of course you jump straight to "threaten him with a fake gun". The neighborhood is definitely talking about you on Nextdoor
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Old 09-17-19, 04:44 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Stage a murder, and "Rear Window" him.
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Old 09-17-19, 05:23 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Originally Posted by Draven View Post
The neighborhood is definitely talking about you on Nextdoor
I have a funny feeling that the neighborhood has been taking about him for quite some time now.
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Old 09-17-19, 05:41 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Fill a Super Shooter squirt gun with cooking oil and spray the top of the neighbor's roof. Hilarity ensues.
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Old 09-17-19, 05:55 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

No need for staging murder.

Swim naked in your pool.

Hell, invite the punk over.

Ok don't ask him over. Just swim naked.

Invite me over, though.
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Old 09-17-19, 06:22 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Originally Posted by Eddie W View Post
Wow, that is some serious over-reaction about a kid being on the roof of his own house. This is pretty common teenage behavior, hell Tom Petty even opens a song with lyrics about sitting on the roof smoking cigarettes and staring at the moon. My neighbors kid used to do this from time to time & I would simply wave and forget about it. It's not a personal insult. If he wanted to peep, he could simply look out those two windows, which look to offer roughly the same view.

And it could be that the first time he was even cleaning the gutters or a dozen other things people do on the roofs of their own houses. If I were these neighbors I would get a restraining order.
So because every teen or family allows it...it's right?

I imagine if the teen slips and falls and lands on his neck and dies Mabuse captures it all and does nothing to let his neighbors know that he fell, he will look like the bad guy right?
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Old 09-17-19, 06:29 PM
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Re: Another Neighbor Problem

Are structures allowed to be built that close to the property line? Tell the lawyer you've reported his garage/room for non-compliance and you want it moved.
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