Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

Old flames and nostalgia

Old 05-15-19, 10:24 AM
  #26  
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

I have one ex-gf from a long time ago on Facebook but I tend to ignore her because she's probably the neediest person I've ever met. Nostalgia isn't my thing.
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Old 05-15-19, 11:06 AM
  #27  
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

Originally Posted by TomOpus View Post
Yeah, I'm also one of those with many ex's as friended on Facebook. But, there are two that I lost contact with that I would love to know how they're doing. Both were amazing women for different reasons.
You know, none of that surprises me. You're a good man.
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Old 05-15-19, 11:35 AM
  #28  
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post
You know, none of that surprises me. You're a good man.
Thanks. It doesn't help to bust a gasket over things. Maybe I'm more accepting than some. Maybe it's helped that none of my breakups have involved things like infidelity, drugs/alcohol, or money. I consider myself lucky. And you're double-lucky: a good man with a good woman.
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Old 05-15-19, 01:12 PM
  #29  
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

Originally Posted by eXcentris View Post
Nostalgia isn't my thing.
Unless it's Michael Irvin
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Old 05-15-19, 01:38 PM
  #30  
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

Originally Posted by Rob V View Post
Unless it's Michael Irvin
Haha! I like him as he his now, I'm not nostalgic of the days when he'd stab a teammate in the neck.
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Old 05-16-19, 10:33 AM
  #31  
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

I sometimes get a little nostalgic about my first real boyfriend. I met him when I was a foreign exchange student in Japan. His family was pretty outraged that he was dating a foreigner, so it was probably best that we didn't actually get married (we thought we'd move to Australia to get away from them a bit). He was an amazing artist, and I googled him once about 10 years ago and found pictures of him at a charicaturist convention in Las Vegas. That made me really happy, because back when we were 18, that's what he wanted to be. I don't really want to communicate with him--he's married, I'm married, but he'll always be the love of my youth.
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Old 08-09-19, 06:27 PM
  #32  
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

Yes (with guilty expression). Ex-wife from marriage #1. I think I'm safe stating that she was a bit out of my league looks-wise. We were together and married for about 10 years, and then after 9/11 occurred it exposed what she perceived as unattractive qualities in me that she had up until then ignored but then weaponized and used as excuses to sink the marriage. I still am not sure of the real reason(s) why the marriage failed. I did not detect infidelity on her part and I was faithful. We went to marriage counseling briefly until she declined to attend and that was that. We both agreed to the divorce and did so cooperatively via mediation. We fortunately and by choice had no kids and she had a teaching career, so there was no child support or alimony issues. After the divorce papers were signed and filed, there was no real reason to ever see or contact each other ever again. She relocated out of state. She has a fairly inactive presence on FB. She's never tried to contact me as far as I know and I've never attempted to reach her. Still, when I reminisce about that period it sometimes blows my mind that we were together so long as man and wife, and have turned into absolute strangers ever since it ended. How can that be? We both loved each other and always thought that we would not end up as one of those couples. Wrong!

I have plenty of old pictures of her and let myself get sucked in to re-living old times in my mind. It ultimately ends up being mental head-banging against the wall, but still proves to be irresistible to me for my own perverse self-inflicted torturous reasons. I've seriously thought about reaching out, but thought better of it before acting. It likely would've come off as creepy-stalkerish and unwelcomed given that she's likely moved on with her life and I'm now married to wife #2 who definitely would not have appreciated my outreach gesture had she found out. Just knowing that told me that I was barking up the wrong tree.

Last edited by Jack Straw; 08-09-19 at 06:33 PM.
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Old 08-09-19, 08:31 PM
  #33  
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

Lesbians are required to remain friends with their exes. It's in the rules.

That being said, I am not friends with my first gf (bat shit crazy) although she stalks me online after 31 years. and I am not friends with the one I was married to in the 1990s because she's a bitch.

But a lot of women I had romances with are still my friends. And SSG Honeylamb and I still own my house jointly and will always be friends. She's currently single again so I see more of her but when she has a new gf not so much. we are much better as friends than as lovers.

Incidentally, the one guy I was ever really in love with rejected me 35 years ago and it gave me great pleasure recently when I saw a pic of him with the woman he married instead and she makes two of me.
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Old 08-09-19, 09:32 PM
  #34  
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

Damn Vibs ...the only thing better than you is two of you!
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Old 08-10-19, 12:40 PM
  #35  
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

Lesbians also seem to be awesomely good at social networking. I know someone who'll go, "Oh yeah, I met her at a conference twenty years ago" and they're still friends. I don't remember who I met last month.
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Old 08-10-19, 01:16 PM
  #36  
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post
Lesbians also seem to be awesomely good at social networking. I know someone who'll go, "Oh yeah, I met her at a conference twenty years ago" and they're still friends. I don't remember who I met last month.
I have about half a dozen former sweeties on my FB friends list. They all get along fine with each other online although their real time interaction is seldom. Most lesbian friends groups are awash with former girlfriends. It would be too silly to be all jealous and asshole inclined over it. Women who are like that tend not to be part of the lesbian community socially.
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Old 08-10-19, 03:26 PM
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Re: Old flames and nostalgia

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post
Lesbians also seem to be awesomely good at social networking. I know someone who'll go, "Oh yeah, I met her at a conference twenty years ago" and they're still friends. I don't remember who I met last month.
Correction: Women in general are good at social networking. It's a huge, huge part of their lives and consumes a very large amount of their energy. I'm like you, meeting people is merely for an exchange of ideas, things, or (productive) conversation, not just for the mere thrill and exercise of it... or reasons of vanity or 'popularity' as lots of women consider the game.
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