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Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

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Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Old 04-17-19, 09:53 AM
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Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

My wife's cousin's kid (so, what's that 2nd cousin?) and his new wife sent us a wedding announcement. They got married on 4/1 and we just received the announcement yesterday. The announcement is on photo paper stock and has a pic of them after getting married (I assume), she's in her dress. With their name, date and location of the wedding.
Then, they included a slip of paper (cream colored, typed) with the following note:
"If you wish to send a gift, the happy couple requests
cash and Visa gift cards to assist them
with transportation and moving costs to [the west coast].
Anything would be greatly appreciated.
Please send contributions, etc. to
Address...
We appreciate your gratitude and best wishes."

The kid is right on the border of Millennial / Gen-Z area. Is this the way they do things?

I told my wife to send the cousin a stamp since "Anything would be greatly appreciated". And put a note in there saying, here's a stamp for when you want to request a gift AFTER your next event. We normally only see these cousins around the holidays, and when they used to do family reunions. So even if we were invited to a reception or something, we probably wouldn't have gone.

About 15 years ago, we (nor any of my immediate family in Delaware) were not invited to my niece's wedding (about 14 hours away). We were told it was small, but yet we saw her grandparents from her mom's side in pictures later (they were probably 4-5 hours away). Anyway, we never sent them a gift either.



Last edited by IDrinkMolson; 04-17-19 at 07:41 PM.
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Old 04-17-19, 10:05 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

First I've heard of something like this. It's just inconsiderate. I would not send them anything.
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Old 04-17-19, 10:16 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Never heard of after. It’s like they’re having an After-Shower. Weird. Probably speaks to them being disorganized. I’m also not wild about the whole “give us money towards our honeymoon or whatever.” We asked for and received wonderful stuff that you NEED when you are married. Kitchen stuff mostly. 13 years later we still use it all.
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Old 04-17-19, 10:20 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

That is a really tacky move. If you want to have a tiny wedding and to send out announcements afterwards, that's fine. But don't ask for gifts. Your announcement has a return address - - if someone feels a desire to send you a gift they can figure it out.
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Old 04-17-19, 10:22 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Usually I think the "goddamn millennials!" genre of threads around here are just a bunch of Olds complaining about things they don't like, but this one? Oh man... This is some bullshit.

I'm in total agreement with the OP. I can't even imagine what prompted them to send out those cards; like... did they honestly weigh their options and perception of doing it and come to that conclusion, or was it just a fuck it, let's see who sends us money sort of deal?

The only slightly comparable thing in my experience was a friend who had a destination wedding. Knowing that, they didn't go out of their way to invite a ton of people as it really was meant to be a smaller thing. But they did plan an "afternoon celebration" a week or so after they got back, locally, and invited more people. It was like a reception without the ceremony, and far more casual than your typical capital W Wedding. For that, they did have a gift registry at the usual stores and had a "gift box" on the day of the party for cash/card gifts, and I think all of that was pretty fine.
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Old 04-17-19, 10:32 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

I wouldn't send them a damn thing. That's pretty tacky IMO.
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Old 04-17-19, 10:37 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

My wife asked her parents if they got one, and they haven't yet. They are in their 80's, and they are not going to be happy about this. They're to the point where they're going to let them or his parents know, by mail.

I wasn't going to add the "millennial" comment, and drop that on you later because of all the other posts. But decided to put in anyway.
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Old 04-17-19, 01:42 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Well, since they're moving you could pack old suitcases into some spare boxes and ship it off to them. You get to declutter and they get needed luggage and moving boxes. Win/win!
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Old 04-17-19, 01:51 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Get a job as a waiter and send them the change you steal from people paying with cash.
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Old 04-17-19, 02:00 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by IDrinkMolson View Post
My wife's cousin's kid (so, what's that 2nd cousin?)

First cousin once removed.
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Old 04-17-19, 02:23 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Its not a millennial thing. Its plain insensitive and rude. Don't send or say anything and keep living as if they don't exist
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Old 04-17-19, 02:25 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Cash and Visa gift cards? Did she marry a Nigerian Prince?

I would them two lovely birds as a symbol of their matrimony and free spiritedness ...



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Old 04-17-19, 02:41 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by IDrinkMolson View Post
"If you wish to send a gift, the happy couple requests
cash and Visa gift cards to assist them
with transportation and moving costs to [[i]the west coast].
Anything would be greatly appreciated.
Please send contributions, etc. to
Address...
We appreciate your gratitude and best wishes."



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Old 04-17-19, 02:50 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

I think they meant Gratuity, not gratitude...
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Old 04-17-19, 05:07 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

I just double checked to verify it did indeed say "gratitude" and realized the Send to Address has her name only. Hmm.

Originally Posted by AGuyNamedMike View Post
Well, since they're moving you could pack old suitcases into some spare boxes and ship it off to them. You get to declutter and they get needed luggage and moving boxes. Win/win!
Can I send them COD so I don't have to pay?
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Old 04-17-19, 05:15 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

yeah, it's a little tacky, but they don't actually ask for gifts. that distinction is important, at least to me.
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Old 04-17-19, 05:29 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Fuck 'em.
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Old 04-17-19, 05:44 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

This is definitely a Millennial thing, and they are all doing it after seeing it in "Crazy Rich Asians".
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Old 04-17-19, 06:37 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Tacky.
A getaway for the actual wedding, but then a "reception" or "second wedding" or whatever that they're inviting you to? That's fine.
Wedding announcements and graduation announcements are half signs of pride, and half requests for gifts.
Wedding or reception/celebration invites, and invites to a graduation party, are different.
This is bad. We did this cool thing that you weren't invited to, now send us money. Darn kids, get off my lawn.
A wedding announcement to relatives who are somewhat close family but not physically, I'm fine with that. But straight up asking is bad.

My first wedding, we registered and got a bunch of stuff and some monetary gifts.
My second wedding, we didn't ask for anything - I think we even put fine print "gifts not expected" - but still got gifts, cash/gift cards, and cards.
But we also hosted ~120 people for virtually a full weekend - 40 at no-rehearsal dinner, ~120 at wedding and reception, ~50 at pizza/beer/game night the evening of, then family and close friends for Sunday brunch/hang out till you want to leave.
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Old 04-17-19, 08:30 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

My wife and I were in our mid 30s when we got married and didn't need a damn thing for our house. So our family and guest donated money for our honeymoon. But we also told them long before the wedding
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Old 04-17-19, 08:54 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

I would wad it up, throw it in the waste basket, and pretend you never got it. They didn't have the decency to invite you to the wedding when gifts are typically given, what makes them think this is any kind of a good idea.
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Old 04-17-19, 09:54 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Throw it out and move on, glad that you're not as entitled as "the happy couple." I've never heard of this, either; but it smacks of a cash-grab if I've ever seen one.
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Old 04-17-19, 10:24 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Who raised the millennials? Blame them, not the kids. Fuck yes it's rude, but I don't agree it's new. When my friends were marrying and spawning in the 80s and early 90s there were some rudeniks like that, just fewer of them.
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Old 04-17-19, 10:45 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
Who raised the millennials? Blame them, not the kids. Fuck yes it's rude, but I don't agree it's new. When my friends were marrying and spawning in the 80s and early 90s there were some rudeniks like that, just fewer of them.
That is definitely the attitude of somebody who doesn’t have kids. You try to raise them right with good manners and values but they have far more influence from their peers once they hit their teens. They become who they really are, and there are a lot of entitled selfish assholes in the world. Blaming the parents for a spoiled six or ten year old I can see. But young adults have plenty of other influences and can make terrible decisions all on their own. I know I made a few bad choices in my twenties and I don’t blame my folks for them.
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Old 04-17-19, 11:18 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by Groucho View Post
This is definitely a Millennial thing, and they are all doing it after seeing it in "Crazy Rich Asians".
Exactly why I refused to see that bullshit.
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