IDrinkMolson

My wife's cousin's kid (so, what's that 2nd cousin?) and his new wife sent us a wedding announcement. They got married on 4/1 and we just received the announcement yesterday. The announcement is on photo paper stock and has a pic of them after getting married (I assume), she's in her dress. With their name, date and location of the wedding.
Then, they included a slip of paper (cream colored, typed) with the following note:

dex14

First I've heard of something like this. It's just inconsiderate. I would not send them anything.

Mabuse

Decker

That is a really tacky move. If you want to have a tiny wedding and to send out announcements afterwards, that's fine. But don't ask for gifts. Your announcement has a return address - - if someone feels a desire to send you a gift they can figure it out.

Dan

Usually I think the "goddamn millennials!" genre of threads around here are just a bunch of Olds complaining about things they don't like, but this one? Oh man... This is some bullshit.

I'm in total agreement with the OP. I can't even imagine what prompted them to send out those cards; like... did they honestly weigh their options and perception of doing it and come to that conclusion, or was it just a fuck it, let's see who sends us money sort of deal?

The only slightly comparable thing in my experience was a friend who had a destination wedding. Knowing that, they didn't go out of their way to invite a ton of people as it really was meant to be a smaller thing. But they did plan an "afternoon celebration" a week or so after they got back, locally, and invited more people. It was like a reception without the ceremony, and far more casual than your typical capital W Wedding. For that, they did have a gift registry at the usual stores and had a "gift box" on the day of the party for cash/card gifts, and I think all of that was pretty fine.

cultshock

I wouldn't send them a damn thing. That's pretty tacky IMO.

IDrinkMolson

My wife asked her parents if they got one, and they haven't yet. They are in their 80's, and they are not going to be happy about this. They're to the point where they're going to let them or his parents know, by mail.

I wasn't going to add the "millennial" comment, and drop that on you later because of all the other posts. But decided to put in anyway.

AGuyNamedMike

Well, since they're moving you could pack old suitcases into some spare boxes and ship it off to them. You get to declutter and they get needed luggage and moving boxes. Win/win!

Toddarino

Palaver

First cousin once removed.

nando820

Its not a millennial thing. Its plain insensitive and rude. Don't send or say anything and keep living as if they don't exist

Abob Teff

GMan2819

jpcamb

I think they meant Gratuity, not gratitude...

IDrinkMolson

I just double checked to verify it did indeed say "gratitude" and realized the Send to Address has her name only. Hmm.

Can I send them COD so I don't have to pay?

LurkerDan

yeah, it's a little tacky, but they don't actually ask for gifts. that distinction is important, at least to me.

Spiderbite

Fuck 'em.

Groucho

This is definitely a Millennial thing, and they are all doing it after seeing it in "Crazy Rich Asians".

tonyc3742

Tacky.
A getaway for the actual wedding, but then a "reception" or "second wedding" or whatever that they're inviting you to? That's fine.
Wedding announcements and graduation announcements are half signs of pride, and half requests for gifts.
Wedding or reception/celebration invites, and invites to a graduation party, are different.
This is bad. We did this cool thing that you weren't invited to, now send us money. Darn kids, get off my lawn.
A wedding announcement to relatives who are somewhat close family but not physically, I'm fine with that. But straight up asking is bad.

My first wedding, we registered and got a bunch of stuff and some monetary gifts.
My second wedding, we didn't ask for anything - I think we even put fine print "gifts not expected" - but still got gifts, cash/gift cards, and cards.
But we also hosted ~120 people for virtually a full weekend - 40 at no-rehearsal dinner, ~120 at wedding and reception, ~50 at pizza/beer/game night the evening of, then family and close friends for Sunday brunch/hang out till you want to leave.

stingermck

My wife and I were in our mid 30s when we got married and didn't need a damn thing for our house. So our family and guest donated money for our honeymoon. But we also told them long before the wedding

kd5

I would wad it up, throw it in the waste basket, and pretend you never got it. They didn't have the decency to invite you to the wedding when gifts are typically given, what makes them think this is any kind of a good idea.

zyzzle

Throw it out and move on, glad that you're not as entitled as "the happy couple." I've never heard of this, either; but it smacks of a cash-grab if I've ever seen one.

Vibiana

Who raised the millennials? Blame them, not the kids. Fuck yes it's rude, but I don't agree it's new. When my friends were marrying and spawning in the 80s and early 90s there were some rudeniks like that, just fewer of them.

Decker

Nesbit

Exactly why I refused to see that bullshit.