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Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

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Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Old 04-17-19, 11:31 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Weddings are all cash-grabs anyway. People invite as many as they can so they can get as many gifts as possible. Fuck 'em.

But, this is far worse & really reeks of entitlement.

Write a note on the invitation and say that they should both shove it up their asses & when they shit out the invitation - that's your gift to them. Send this, and you'll never have to worry about hearing from them again.
Old 04-18-19, 03:38 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by TheDude View Post
Weddings are all cash-grabs anyway. People invite as many as they can so they can get as many gifts as possible. Fuck 'em.
Normally, weddings were with young couples starting a new life together. Nothing wrong with giving them a nice boost to start it off.
Old 04-18-19, 05:35 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by Decker View Post

That is definitely the attitude of somebody who doesn’t have kids. You try to raise them right with good manners and values but they have far more influence from their peers once they hit their teens. They become who they really are, and there are a lot of entitled selfish assholes in the world. Blaming the parents for a spoiled six or ten year old I can see. But young adults have plenty of other influences and can make terrible decisions all on their own. I know I made a few bad choices in my twenties and I don’t blame my folks for them.
I'm not a parent -- never will be -- but that is as profound and truthful an explanation regarding "how kids turn out" as any I've ever read. It really isn't the parents' fault, it's the peers, the company they keep, during their teens that really influences what types of adults they turn into... A parent can try until he or she is blue in the face to raise "good kids," but that effort is oxymoronic and a virtual impossibility given the myriad levels of influence they're subjected to now beyond "FATHER KNOWS BEST."

So, my hat's off more to the teens who choose the right sets of peers and ignore societal craziness and fads, rather than the parents for taking the credit for raising "good children.". It's a rare Millennial who is able to make the journey unscathed (ie, enter society a selfless, productive, unentitled human being who does his utmost to positively influence society through his own hard work ethic)!
Old 04-18-19, 06:46 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Send them nothing. Don't even respond.
Old 04-18-19, 07:38 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by Decker View Post

That is definitely the attitude of somebody who doesn’t have kids. You try to raise them right with good manners and values but they have far more influence from their peers once they hit their teens. They become who they really are, and there are a lot of entitled selfish assholes in the world. Blaming the parents for a spoiled six or ten year old I can see. But young adults have plenty of other influences and can make terrible decisions all on their own. I know I made a few bad choices in my twenties and I don’t blame my folks for them.
This is a great post.

***************
I don't think this is a millennial thing. How old are the people who got married? I guess I'm technically a millennial (though I think there are two eras of this, IMO anyway), got married not too long ago, but would never have even thought to pull some shit like this.

Last edited by dex14; 04-18-19 at 08:00 AM.
Old 04-18-19, 07:53 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by Decker View Post

That is definitely the attitude of somebody who doesnít have kids. You try to raise them right with good manners and values but they have far more influence from their peers once they hit their teens. They become who they really are, and there are a lot of entitled selfish assholes in the world. Blaming the parents for a spoiled six or ten year old I can see. But young adults have plenty of other influences and can make terrible decisions all on their own. I know I made a few bad choices in my twenties and I donít blame my folks for them.
As a parent myself, I completely agree with this. My eldest just became a teenager this month, the fun begins! But my wife and I will still do our best with whatever influence we have left to try and steer our kids down the right path.

Old 04-18-19, 10:20 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

You are married, was your wife's cousin's kid invited to your wedding, or get you a wedding gift?
If not, send them an identical letter announcing your marriage, and see if they send you anything. Then send them the identical thing/amount.
Old 04-18-19, 10:32 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by JackoOnHisBacko View Post
You are married, was your wife's cousin's kid invited to your wedding, or get you a wedding gift?
If not, send them an identical letter announcing your marriage, and see if they send you anything. Then send them the identical thing/amount.
Best suggestion yet! I may do the same for people who weren't around back when I got married, see if I can't pick up a few extra bucks or blenders.
Old 04-18-19, 11:06 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by Groucho View Post
Best suggestion yet! I may do the same for people who weren't around back when I got married, see if I can't pick up a few extra bucks or blenders.
I tried this, jokingly, with a few people I became friends with after my wedding. It was the most fun if I attended their wedding, so I could say things like "Well, I came to your wedding. You didn't even bother attending mine, let alone getting me a gift." One guy came back with a toy blender for me.
Old 04-18-19, 12:44 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by TheDude View Post
Weddings are all cash-grabs anyway. People invite as many as they can so they can get as many gifts as possible. Fuck 'em.
I think I did my wedding wrong, then... spent way more out of pocket per guest than I received from all but the closest family.
Old 04-18-19, 01:05 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by fujishig View Post
I think I did my wedding wrong, then... spent way more out of pocket per guest than I received from all but the closest family.
Same, went pretty deep into our pockets to pay for it and for sure didnt break even or come close. We had one uncle/aunt/2 cousins give us a combined check for about 100, the per plate was far more than that...
Old 04-18-19, 01:13 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by JackoOnHisBacko View Post
You are married, was your wife's cousin's kid invited to your wedding, or get you a wedding gift?
If not, send them an identical letter announcing your marriage, and see if they send you anything. Then send them the identical thing/amount.
Yeah that's a great idea. And we didn't invite any kids to our wedding except about 6 niece/nephews.

Just to clarify, we have no intention of sending them anything. Everyone we've talked to about it says the same thing.
Old 04-18-19, 01:50 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Send them thoughts and prayers. Maybe a picture of a $5k Visa giftcard and tell them you used it for a trip. Or hookers and blow.
Old 04-18-19, 02:05 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by IDrinkMolson View Post
My wife's cousin's kid (so, what's that 2nd cousin?) and his new wife sent us a wedding announcement. They got married on 4/1 and we just received the announcement yesterday. The announcement is on photo paper stock and has a pic of them after getting married (I assume), she's in her dress. With their name, date and location of the wedding.
Then, they included a slip of paper (cream colored, typed) with the following note:
"If you wish to send a gift, the happy couple requests
cash and Visa gift cards to assist them
with transportation and moving costs to [the west coast].
Anything would be greatly appreciated.
Please send contributions, etc. to
Address...
We appreciate your gratitude and best wishes."

The kid is right on the border of Millennial / Gen-Z area. Is this the way they do things?

I told my wife to send the cousin a stamp since "Anything would be greatly appreciated". And put a note in there saying, here's a stamp for when you want to request a gift AFTER your next event. We normally only see these cousins around the holidays, and when they used to do family reunions. So even if we were invited to a reception or something, we probably wouldn't have gone.

About 15 years ago, we (nor any of my immediate family in Delaware) were not invited to my niece's wedding (about 14 hours away). We were told it was small, but yet we saw her grandparents from her mom's side in pictures later (they were probably 4-5 hours away). Anyway, we never sent them a gift either.


First cousin, once removed. It is second cousins if you share the same set of great grandparents. The once twice removed comes in if you do not share the grand or great grandparents, etc at the same level (generation). So when this couple have children, those children would first cousins, twice removed from your wife.

As to your question, if I wasn't good enough to invite to the wedding, then I am not good enough to send a gift, monetary or otherwise. I doubt your wife has very much contact with them on a regular basis, it any. I have tons of first cousins and ones removed as my dad had 11 sibblings. I have not seen most of them in years and some I've never met at all. I did not invite them to my wedding or send out post wedding announcements. Maybe just send a greeting card.
Old 04-18-19, 03:34 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by movieguru View Post
Maybe just send a greeting card.
Better yet send them a bulky greeting card so they get excited before opening it and maybe include a coupon for free Frosty at Wendy's...
Old 04-18-19, 07:24 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

I cop a plea in the matter of not having raised children myself, but if the parents were involved in planning the wedding, wouldn't they know about this money grab before the announcements were sent out? My parents would have expired from embarrassment if I had done this.
Old 04-18-19, 11:12 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by Groucho View Post
This is definitely a Millennial thing, and they are all doing it after seeing it in "Crazy Rich Asians".
Care to elaborate?

Iím curious about the reference but have no desire to watch Crazy Rich Asians to find out.
Old 04-19-19, 11:38 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

So you're not good enough to be invited to the wedding, but they can try and tap you for cash? I don't think so.
Old 04-19-19, 11:39 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
I cop a plea in the matter of not having raised children myself, but if the parents were involved in planning the wedding, wouldn't they know about this money grab before the announcements were sent out? My parents would have expired from embarrassment if I had done this.
If I received something like that from one of my cousins' kids, I'd definitely go to my cousin and ask "What the hell is up with your kid? Did you know about this?"
Old 04-19-19, 02:20 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

why not gift them with cash and a slap on the ass and give them a cotton beach towel with a $20.00 bill printed on it . they'll hate you forever, spare you the boring wedding pics and best of all you never have to see them ever again until a casket gets involved in this made for TLC tv saga
Old 04-20-19, 01:24 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by TheDude View Post
Weddings are all cash-grabs anyway. People invite as many as they can so they can get as many gifts as possible. Fuck 'em.

But, this is far worse & really reeks of entitlement.

Write a note on the invitation and say that they should both shove it up their asses & when they shit out the invitation - that's your gift to them. Send this, and you'll never have to worry about hearing from them again.
Originally Posted by TomOpus View Post
Normally, weddings were with young couples starting a new life together. Nothing wrong with giving them a nice boost to start it off.
Plus you know how much weddings usually cost per person just for the food? After going through that with our wedding we're now more generous with our wedding gifts.
Old 04-20-19, 01:31 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by Josh-da-man View Post


Care to elaborate?

Iím curious about the reference but have no desire to watch Crazy Rich Asians to find out.
I watched it I don't remember them asking for gifts in a letter like that. It was actually a good movie.
Old 04-25-19, 10:21 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Originally Posted by TomOpus View Post
Normally, weddings were with young couples starting a new life together. Nothing wrong with giving them a nice boost to start it off.
I think this depends on the wedding. If the wedding is modest, I'm more inclined to give with this mentality. But when they blow an absurd amount on the wedding itself, my thought goes to either: "You guys are apparently doing better than me and clearly don't need this" or "You guys are going to blow this on something stupid, so why bother".
Old 01-16-20, 09:02 AM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Almost forgot about this. I heard about it afterwards, but had the annual holiday get together over Christmas. Nothing new with the couple in the op, but he has a brother...

The brother got married last year too. (I have no idea if he's older or younger, but close in age.) They had a baby. Around 2-4 months later the couple decide they can't deal with the baby anymore. They move back with his parents so his mother can "help". That isn't working either, so they are getting divorced. His mom quit her job and is going to raise the kid.
Waiting for the inevitable we had a baby but my mom is going to raise it, so can you give us money announcement.


I also heard one of our sister-in-laws gave "something" to the op couple. I called her a sucker.
Old 01-16-20, 01:04 PM
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Re: Wedding Announcement (post wedding) requesting a gift?!

Wow.

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