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Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

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Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Old 06-05-18, 12:29 PM
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Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

A crocodile has killed a Protestant pastor who was baptising followers near a lake in southern Ethiopia.

Docho Eshete was conducting the ceremony for about 80 people on Sunday morning at Lake Abaya in Arba Minch town's Merkeb Tabya district.

Residents and police told BBC Amharic a crocodile leapt from the water during the baptism and attacked him.

Pastor Docho died after being bitten on his legs, back and hands.

"He baptised the first person and he passed on to another one. All of a sudden, a crocodile jumped out of the lake and grabbed the pastor," local resident Ketema Kairo told the BBC.

Despite huge efforts, fishermen and residents could not save pastor Docho, policeman Eiwnetu Kanko said.

They used fishing nets to prevent the crocodile from taking the pastor's body into the lake.

The crocodile escaped.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-44366360
Or maybe the crocodile saved 79 people.
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Old 06-05-18, 12:46 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

It was god's will.
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Old 06-05-18, 12:47 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Thread tile of the year, 2018 candidate
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Old 06-05-18, 01:05 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Thank you but I'm not in it for the honors.
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Old 06-05-18, 01:16 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

We don't KNOW if the croc was Atheist.

He could have been Catholic.
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Old 06-05-18, 01:32 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Excellent point. Or perhaps he was possessed by the devil!
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Old 06-05-18, 02:41 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

So you're saying Sobek doesn't believe in himself?
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Old 06-05-18, 03:26 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

But the biggest kick I ever got
Was baptizing in the Crocodile Swamp
While the other pastors sprinkle a few drops
We were dipping and dripping in the Crocodile Swamp
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Old 06-05-18, 03:52 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Originally Posted by DRG View Post
But the biggest kick I ever got
Was baptizing in the Crocodile Swamp
While the other pastors sprinkle a few drops
We were dipping and dripping in the Crocodile Swamp


Wrong on so many levels, yet so, so right.
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Old 06-05-18, 04:05 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

First of all, you guys would be all over Grundle’s ass if he posted that thread title.

Second, offensive to atheists.

Third, the crocodile spared 79 lives, not saved them.

D, we need better crocodile control laws and more of them! There should be a limit on the number of teeth a crocodile can have. Seriously, how hard is it to pass that law? Crocodiles don’t need entire mouths full of teeth; that only leads to senseless violence like this. Don’t try to tell me we need better mental health veterinary care — those teeth are needlessly dangerous! Add to the fact that the croc keeps them concealed ... Next you are going to tell me we should just give everybody teeth like this to “even the odds”. Do you want your local pastor sporting crocodile teeth!? He’ll just end up accidentally eating a baby!

And, fifth, I guess we know how the croc likes his tacos ... al pastor.
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Old 06-05-18, 06:06 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

It takes some serious faith to be baptized in a crocodile infested lake. Docho Eshete must have been a highly effective preacher.
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Old 06-05-18, 06:14 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

One more reason to go Wiccan.
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Old 06-06-18, 03:50 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Ha! I bet that pastor had been taunting that croc for years!

Crocodile eats beloved terrier that had spent a decade taunting it

A saltwater crocodile has eaten a dog that made a mockery of it for years, to the horror of onlookers.

At Goat Island Lodge, south of Darwin in the middle of the crocodile-infested Adelaide River, guests had gathered to watch pup Pippa perform her favourite trick — running at Casey the crocodile to scare her back into the river.

But to the alarm of those looking on, including owner Kai Hansen, Pippa ran straight at her head — and Casey "did what crocs do".

The video of Pippa being dragged into the water was made worse by the screams of bystanders, but serves as a bleak warning about the river's dangers.

As Mr Hansen conceded, "it was something that had a high probability of happening sometime".
.
.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-06-0...decade/9840026
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Old 06-06-18, 04:24 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

The croc had a sincerely held belief that humans are delicious, so it's all legal.
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Old 06-06-18, 04:25 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Originally Posted by Psi View Post
The croc had a sincerely held belief that humans are delicious, so it's all legal.
Or just Catholics.
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Old 06-06-18, 05:13 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Originally Posted by eXcentris View Post
Ha! I bet that pastor had been taunting that croc for years!
Are you implying that the pastor had been ‘running the babies at the croc to scare it away’?
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Old 06-06-18, 06:13 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Originally Posted by cultshock View Post
It was god's will.
Oh yeah. God has a plan for all of us.



Isn't religion fucking awesome? You can kill someone that is beloved to a family and they will say that God knows what he's doing.
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Old 06-06-18, 09:18 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

"That's the third person God took this week. We gotta stop that guy."
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Old 06-06-18, 10:43 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Originally Posted by Sonic View Post

Isn't religion fucking awesome? You can kill someone that is beloved to a family and they will say that God knows what he's doing.
I hear you man. You might say you are....preaching to the choir.


Yeah, I know.....
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Old 06-06-18, 10:44 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Originally Posted by eXcentris View Post
Ha! I bet that pastor had been taunting that croc for years!
I'm sorry, but I would have laughed my fucking ass off if I witnessed that!
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Old 06-07-18, 03:26 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

FYI, although it might look like it, I really don't have a pile of croc stories ready just so I can feed this thread. Somebody just posted this (in a similar thread) on another forum.


Pastor eaten by crocodiles while trying to walk on water like Jesus
Published on May 13, 2017 By John Owen Nwachukwu



A pastor who tried replicating the Biblical story of Jesus Christ walking on water has been eaten by crocodiles.

The pastor, identified as Jonathan Mthethwa, of the Saint of the Last Days Church, tried the demonstration at a river known as Crocodile River.

Mthethwa, from a local church in White River Mpumalanga died Saturday morning trying to demonstrate the biblical miracle to his congregants.

According to The Herald Zimbabwe, he drowned into the Crocodile River and was seen by his church members getting eaten by 3 crocodiles.

Deacon Nkosi, a member of the church, told the newspaper, “The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week.

“He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by 3 large crocodiles in front of us.

“We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week.”


Pastor Mthethwa was said to have walked into the water and when he was 30 meters inside the river, attempted to ascend above the water so he can start walking, but the 3 crocodile appeared from nowhere and started feasting on him.

Deacon Nkosi added, “They finished him in a couple of minutes.

“All that was left of him when they finished eating him is a pair of sandals and his underwear floating above the water.”

The country’s emergency agency, ER24 responded to the scene 30 minutes after, but upon arrival, there was not much they could do as the pastor was already dead.

http://dailypost.ng/2017/05/13/pasto...er-like-jesus/
Crocodile river? What could go wrong! You can't make this stuff up.
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Old 06-07-18, 04:20 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

^ That publication has to be like an African Onion.
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Old 06-07-18, 05:38 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Better put some respect on that crocodile. That croc is an OG. It's been living here for millions of years before man.
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Old 06-08-18, 03:38 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Florida was feeling left out:

US woman missing after 'alligator attack'

A dog-walker in the US state of Florida has gone missing, and she was attacked by an alligator, a witness told police.

The 911 caller said the reptile dragged the woman into a lake at 09:45 on Friday (13:45 GMT) in the town of Davie, 25 miles (40km) north of Miami.

Local media report officers found a dog on a leash but no signs of the woman at Silver Lakes Rotary Nature Park.

State wildlife officials are now hunting for the alligator. The woman has yet to be identified.

"Divers are searching," Davie Police Maj Dale Engle was quoted as saying by the Sun Sentinel newspaper.

"Her dogs won't leave the pond. One of her dogs got bit by the gator."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-44419582

Alligator knocks out man in Florida

A man was knocked unconscious while trying to remove the 8ft reptile from a neighbourhood in Ocoee, near Orlando, Florida.

(video)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-...man-in-florida
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Old 06-08-18, 08:59 PM
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Re: Atheist crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism.

Who the hell was the witness, Trump? “Nope, haven’t seen her — she’s missing. But if I knew anything or if I had seen her, she was attacked by an alligator. But I haven’t seen her. Because she’s missing. And I didn’t have anything to do with it.”
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