Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Old 02-03-19, 08:09 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

I hadn't thought of that. Losing my virginity at 21 was an important milestone in my life, but it was one of many milestones. It didn't make me a different person or a Real Man. Nobody could tell I wasn't a virgin from looking at me, that's a myth. I broke up with her a few months later.

Then my emotional problems got worse, and I didn't date anyone else for a long time. In my 30s I went to a counselor who specialized in dating, and she helped a lot. Basically she taught me the courtship skills that most guys picked up in high school and college.

I don't know what a sex & addiction therapist is, but it sounds like one of those Christian "addicted to porn" whackjobs. If they use that kind of language, don't go back. They're cultists.

Last edited by Nick Danger; 02-03-19 at 08:18 AM.
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Old 02-03-19, 10:40 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Thanks again for the good words, I left a message with the clinic and I think its the next step for me and kind of connects to a lot of everything else. When I have started talking to a few friends and my current therapist its one of the sources of my anxiety when wanting to date and the only real thing sexual I know has been my porn viewing habits that I've had since I was around 15 or 16. I don't think there's anything wrong with some porn viewing but not as a replacement for any normal relationship. If I meet with a therapist and it goes into religious territory I won't go back. I just want to get past the feelings of worthlessness when I was told that I screwed up for not sleeping with the first few dates i had at the end of high school. Being told you're not really a man, you just give up. Also I have hard time just relaxing around women in any social setting.
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Old 02-03-19, 09:30 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Yeah, whoever told you that you weren't a real man was a psycho bitch from hell. They exist, but they're rare. It's too bad that you ran into one of them at a vulnerable time.
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Old 02-08-19, 05:14 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Well I have news, I have one more therapist I would like to talk to and I should be able to setup which therapist I will continue with by some time next week. I have one more appointment with the psychiatrist through the county mental center. They said I am past the point where I am no longer consider in a dire mental state and will no longer be seeking help through them. I'll continue meds for the next three months, then I'll decide with my next therapist or my primary care doctor how long I'll continue medication.
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Old 02-09-19, 01:50 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

This thread is now a year old.
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Old 02-09-19, 10:46 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

It's hard to believe its been a year. I've read through the whole thread several times and its a pretty wild ride.
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Old 02-09-19, 05:26 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

It's a sad commentary on mental health medicine in this country that Blue gets kicked out of therapy as soon as he isn't a danger to himself. There is a long way between 'not in dire need' and 'healthy'. I suspect they had to do it because they are short-staffed and they need the time for someone who is a danger to himself.
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Old 02-09-19, 05:45 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

I’m going to continue therapy elsewhere, and I have a plan to gradually ween myself off the meds. I did everything I could do with their services.
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Old 02-09-19, 07:16 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by majorjoe23 View Post
This thread is now a year old.
Sweet birthday, baby!
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Old 02-09-19, 07:21 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post
It's a sad commentary on mental health medicine in this country that Blue gets kicked out of therapy as soon as he isn't a danger to himself. There is a long way between 'not in dire need' and 'healthy'. I suspect they had to do it because they are short-staffed and they need the time for someone who is a danger to himself.
Glad you are doing well Blue, but I have to agree with Nick 1000 times over. Hey, here is an interesting thought I had recently. With all the debate about guns and mental health, why not fund better mental health with a tax on guns? I’m not in favor of more taxes, but that’s the world we live in.

Last edited by Abob Teff; 02-09-19 at 07:34 PM.
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Old 02-09-19, 11:27 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

I may have worded it wrong, but I'm not getting kicked out of therapy. I have done everything I can do with them. I participated in a group depression and anxiety class, worked with my individual therapist, and spoke with her that I wanted to continue with more specialized help now.

Last edited by Bluelitespecial; 02-10-19 at 11:13 AM.
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Old 02-10-19, 10:51 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

It's good to see your progression, Blue. Many people wallow in their misery, never attempting to change for the better. You should be proud of yourself.
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