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Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

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Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Old 04-24-18, 08:20 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Why So Blu? View Post
BLS, you should also consider Toastmaster meetings. Toastmaster meetings teach you how to speak in front of people. Sure, it's not with emphasis on dating or whatever, but if you have issues talking to a person or group of people then they will help with that. Best part is that they are FREE
My father is a Toastmasters junkie. It does help with public speaking.
Old 04-24-18, 08:23 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by VinVega View Post
My father is a Toastmasters junkie. It does help with public speaking.
I've been meaning to start going to them, because I can get into zones where I cannot speak in public. Granted, I don't have problem talking to women, though. Whatever helps in that realm is worth it. And the price is right.
Old 04-24-18, 08:28 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Why So Blu? View Post
I've been meaning to start going to them, because I can get into zones where I cannot speak in public. Granted, I don't have problem talking to women, though. Whatever helps in that realm is worth it. And the price is right.
Try to avoid filler words like um and ah. A pause is always better than a filler word. That's about all I got from by Dad's ramblings about Toastmasters.
Old 04-24-18, 08:38 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by VinVega View Post
Try to avoid filler words like um and ah. A pause is always better than a filler word. That's about all I got from by Dad's ramblings about Toastmasters.
Ah, gotcha.


Old 04-24-18, 08:42 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Lipid View Post
I seriously want you to get help and have a better life. Seeing a dating/sex therapist is the wrong direction. Your date life is not the cause of your current woes most likely. Your negative and distorted views on what reality is, relationships, and judgement is where the struggle is.


I think all the advice about meeting people is nice, but won't help until you fix your attitude and views on men and women.
Old 04-24-18, 09:16 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

I see his location is Kansas City. Is that Kansas or Missouri? I will research sliding costs therapists for him so he doesn't have to worry about delaying getting help.
Old 04-24-18, 09:31 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Lipid View Post
I see his location is Kansas City. Is that Kansas or Missouri? I will research sliding costs therapists for him so he doesn't have to worry about delaying getting help.
I think he said earlier in the thread that heís 36 in Kansas City, MO.
Old 04-24-18, 09:40 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Thanks for the concern, I’m just more terrified about how long I’ve been unemployed right now than anything else. I’m in Johnson County, KS to be exact. I’m talking to people in the singles group, i might make some friends there. I also might meet the guy who runs the group. He’s a dating coach, first meeting is free and to talk through some of my immediate fears in putting myself out there. I Have a few other immediate ideas I might look into. I have a couple of people who looked at my resume and have a job fair tomorrow. Other stuff I’ve mentioned has a way of working out. I’m not going to be like the guy in Toronto.
Old 04-24-18, 10:47 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Get the job situation sorted and as others have said, don't focus on finding a relationship, focus on yourself. Sliding scale therapy is a good idea.
Old 04-24-18, 11:34 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

what kind of work?
Old 04-24-18, 11:40 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

I worked for an Amazon warehouse for the last 3.5 years. I worked as a retail sales manager before that, and always thought I could do a client account manager or sales type of job. I got resume tips from Dex and had a friend just look over my resume with some major changes. I'm going to go to a job fair tomorrow.
Old 04-24-18, 11:59 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Have you tried the local employment office? They get listings often (here at least) and have advisors who may be able to help out.

No offense, but given what seems like your confidence issues at this time may not be right for a sales or account manager type position. Have you considered a taking up a trade?
Old 04-25-18, 12:13 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Remember, Bluelitespecial also freaked out when trying a new job after leaving Amazon that included being afraid of an office full of women.

https://forum.dvdtalk.com/12938791-post142.html

All these deep rooted issues are going to be a problem anywhere and everywhere socially until they get sorted out.
Old 04-25-18, 12:53 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

https://www.jocogov.org/dept/mental-...g-services/faq

If I come for mental health treatment who would I see?
To begin services, you may come to our Open Access Clinic located in both our Olathe and Shawnee offices, Monday through Friday, 9-2pm.

How much will it cost me?
We offer a sliding fee scale for Johnson County residents. Before your first appointment we will determine your fee based on household income, family size, and financial obligations. Please bring in proof of residency and any income information you have to assist in setting this fee during your first appointment.

What hours are you open?
Operating hours are 8am to 5pm on Monday,Wednesday and Friday. Operating hours are 8am to 7pm on Tuesday and Thursday. Therapy and med clinic services from 5-7pm by appointment only.

To contact Johnson County Mental Health, please call (913) 826-4200

No excuses! I believe you said you're unemployed. You live in the county. They do sliding fee. This should be very affordable.


Please make this a top priority in your life. I would suspect other difficulties related to work, women, friends, and socialization are all related to whatever mental health problem you may be struggling with. Meeting with a professional will be the best thing you can do for yourself. Based off of what you said about your own life, dating, socialization, and isolation, it makes me wonder if you're on the autistic spectrum. For an individual to struggle this much would make me think: 1) anxiety, 2) depression 3) autism . Please take this serious. This is your life and we don't have proof there's anything after this. No point in suffering another day, week, month, or years.
Old 04-25-18, 06:52 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Maybe you can also try some dating apps/sites to practice talking to women in a comfortable setting. Texting/messaging may be a good way to build up some confidence. Plenty of Fish, Tender, etc.
Old 04-25-18, 07:56 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by stingermck View Post
Maybe you can also try some dating apps/sites to practice talking to women in a comfortable setting. Texting/messaging may be a good way to build up some confidence. Plenty of Fish, Tender, etc.
I thought you misspelled Tinder, then I googled Tender. I am really clueless about this stuff.
Old 04-25-18, 09:37 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by VinVega View Post
I thought you misspelled Tinder, then I googled Tender. I am really clueless about this stuff.
I did misspell Tinder. I guess Tender is something else?
Old 04-25-18, 09:45 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

I’ll call The that number today or tomorrow. I’m trying not to go off the rails and post in the Toronto thread, but won’t apologize about how I feel about the state of Star Wars, or the annihilation of male spaces.
Old 04-25-18, 09:54 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by VinVega View Post
I thought you misspelled Tinder, then I googled Tender. I am really clueless about this stuff.
<img src=http://i56.tinypic.com/260350h.png height=12>&nbsp;My head feels light
But I'm still in the dark
Seems like without tenderness there's something missing&nbsp;<img src=http://i56.tinypic.com/260350h.png height=12>



Old 04-25-18, 10:13 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by stingermck View Post
Maybe you can also try some dating apps/sites to practice talking to women in a comfortable setting. Texting/messaging may be a good way to build up some confidence. Plenty of Fish, Tender, etc.
you have got to be kidding. he needs a lot of therapy before he should be on dating sites (for the sake of the women on those sites, and him).
Old 04-25-18, 10:14 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Bluelitespecial View Post
Iíll call The that number today or tomorrow. Iím trying not to go off the rails and post in the Toronto thread, but wonít apologize about how I feel about the state of Star Wars, or the annihilation of male spaces.
Call the number today! Do it! Then you'll know you've started and there's no going back.

Your opinions on SW are one thing, but what Male Spaces have been annihilated? Figurative ones or literal?
Old 04-25-18, 10:30 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

but won’t apologize about how I feel about the state of Star Wars, or the annihilation of male spaces.
Old 04-25-18, 10:47 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

This isn't directly about Blue, but there's some of this in him... many of these people who complain about not getting dates, or whatever, similar to Blue (though he's not nearly as bad as some of these "incel" losers), believe that they are owed "the perfect life" so much, that when their 'opportunity' doesn't come they think they've been wronged, and that it's the fault of "the other".

Pop culture did a lot to place this idea in their minds that they should have everything. It's not suprising that now, 20 or 30 years later, if you don't have those things, it's considered a failure on your part when it's just... living life.
Old 04-25-18, 10:53 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Kurtie Dee View Post

Your opinions on SW are one thing, but what Male Spaces have been annihilated? Figurative ones or literal?
Fire houses, gay bars, the Boy Scouts
Old 04-25-18, 10:58 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by slop101 View Post
This isn't directly about Blue, but there's some of this in him... many of these people who complain about not getting dates, or whatever, similar to Blue (though he's not nearly as bad as some of these "incel" losers), believe that they are owed "the perfect life" so much, that when their 'opportunity' doesn't come they think they've been wronged, and that it's the fault of "the other".
well said

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