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robin2099 06-25-17 10:54 PM

How important is having friends to you?
 
Really important, kind of important or not important? I will say as I get older, I do wish that I had more friends to hang out and do stuff with. By the same token though, I am somewhat of a loner and don't like to hang out with people that much. I go to movies typically by myself, eat by myself and don't mind it. And yet, sometimes I do want someone around. However it's harder to find people the older you get since people get married and have kids while I get to be a bachelor with no kids and no real girlfriend prospects at the moment.

Bluelitespecial 06-25-17 11:18 PM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
I am kind of in the same place as you. I only had a few close friends from grade school up untli when I saw my then best friend get married four years ago. I would say its somewhat important. Most of the friends I have had came from working. I go to movies by myself, and going out to eat I'll just sit a bar, and don't think its a big deal. I've tried getting on meetup.com, put up a profile on a few dating sites but haven't put much effort into it out of anxiety mostly.

astrochimp 06-25-17 11:22 PM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
It is harder as you get older to find friends for sure. Most people have their little friends circle. So even if you bust into that, you're always the outsider.

I tend to push people away. I'm bipolar, so that doesn't help ;)

I had a best friend from high school and we were friends until he got married and then that eventually ended.

I went about 7 years without one(except for online friends) and then made friends with a girl I work with. We were friends for about 10 years, but again that went bad.

It sucks because I won't go out much alone. Not to movies or dinner, so now I'm stuck again.

Happy I have a friend online I've known for about 17 years. Although because of the distance we don't get together often.

So... I guess it's important.

Sadly, I work more than I have to because I like being around people. Yet people think I don't :lol:

Downside, I still work with the girl who was my best friend.

Bluelitespecial 06-25-17 11:26 PM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
When friends get married, I have found single friends get replaced with married friends. It's sad but true.

Norm de Plume 06-25-17 11:28 PM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
I haven't had an in-person friend for 23 years, when I was 19. I don't mind, though I'd love to have someone with whom to kick a soccer ball around and play a spot of tennis.

astrochimp 06-25-17 11:28 PM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 

Originally Posted by Bluelitespecial (Post 13102926)
When friends get married, I have found single friends get replaced with married friends. It's sad but true.

That's what happened to me. I was the best man for my best friend but him and his wife found another couple to be friends with. They both had kids and I realized I was out of the picture.

JeffTheAlpaca 06-26-17 02:44 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
I keep in contact with some of them online though now mostly everybody is married now and I can keep myself entertained without always being around people.

I don't understand people who need to be with their friends every day or every weekend. I was like that back in high school.

At least this year a friend who was seeing a girl for almost six years is back on Facebook and single again and he is cool and funny though kind of immature.

I think I have seen my barber and dentist more than my friends and cousins and the barber I saw for 14 years left in 2016 which was kind of a bummer and two friends I knew online only died in 2016:(

A girl I know who lives in Canada who is suffering from depression I have not heard from her since last year.

zyzzle 06-26-17 03:54 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
It is important (we're social beings), I think most people can count their true friends on one hand. Sometimes the superficiality of acquaintances who see themselves as 'friends' get a bit grating. I won't even get involved with all the Facebook garbage. Everybody whom you know thinks you're so enamored with them and the all the inconsequential parts of their lives... I refuse to be involved in that time sink into oblivion and ruin. Let others wallor in each others' pecadillos. That's not for me.

As I get older, I find contact with friends is important, but not just to banter, but rather discuss and debate serious issues. Empathy becomes more important the older we get. It is easier now for me to "put myself in the other fellow's shoes" than it was when I was younger.

Me007gold 06-26-17 05:43 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
Not at all, I really dislike most people, and I dislike going out to public places with people even more.

Obi-Wan Jabroni 06-26-17 06:30 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 

Originally Posted by Bluelitespecial (Post 13102926)
When friends get married, I have found single friends get replaced with married friends. It's sad but true.

Not for me it's not. I've been married for 10 years, and my best friend is the same person it was in high school. He's not married, and we ususally hang out at least once a week.

astrochimp 06-26-17 07:13 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 

Originally Posted by Obi-Wan Jabroni (Post 13103005)
Not for me it's not. I've been married for 10 years, and my best friend is the same person it was in high school. He's not married, and we ususally hang out at least once a week.

Good :)

Hokeyboy 06-26-17 08:58 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
As cliched as it sounds, it yet remains true: my wife is my best friend. It's the secret to a long, happy marriage (OK, it's only been nine years; 12 together in total), but our relationship still feels new and fresh and wonderful; we explore and learn and discover new things together.

We have a circle of friends we adore, and I treasure them to death as it is always great to have people around who care about you (and you care about in return). Plus it is beneficial to have a perspective and POV outside of your own to bounce ideas, thoughts, and/or concerns off of. Or even just an awesome drinking buddy. But in the end if it was just me and Kim, I'd have all I need in life.

tasha99 06-26-17 10:32 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
My social circle is pretty much my boyfriend and my family. I have a huge one--5 siblings with kids, my 3 kids aged 19, 24, and 27, and my dad and stepmom. We have a family dinner once a month, and it's around 25 people.

As far as friends, I have a bff I met in school 10 years ago. We get together a couple times a month when I'm living on Oregon. Even though I don't see her that often, she's like a sister to me. I also have a few friends who are more long distance.

My best friend is my boyfriend, though. We live together and spend 99 percent of our non working time together. As an introvert, he's the only person I can be around without needing a break.

Troy Stiffler 06-26-17 10:35 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
Who needs friends when I got Otters?

Troy Stiffler 06-26-17 10:41 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
Real answer though. Hmmm. I have Otters (whether or not you like me back). I have family that I see an hour or two a week. And I have five-or-so business friends that I talk to at work.

There's so much good stuff out there. Music, movies, TV. Books. Business. Money. Enjoying things. Health/fitness (which I'm new to). I live in my own little world. Being sociable with other people comes after all of that stuff.

It's quite possible I'm going to die alone. Having my face eaten by my dog. And this forum as my diary.

Mikael79 06-26-17 10:45 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
I think it's incredibly important, because if you don't have a differing opinion/outlook on things, life gets very boring.

astrochimp 06-26-17 11:15 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 

Originally Posted by Troy Stiffler (Post 13103174)

It's quite possible I'm going to die alone. Having my face eaten by my dog. And this forum as my diary.

That's beautiful man!

Goat3001 06-26-17 11:25 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
Friends are pretty important to me. I have a handful of close friends but we've kind of spread ourselves around and can't see each other on a regular basis. We're still close and I talk to them nearly everyday but we only see each other a few times a year.

Then I have my fiancee who takes up most of my social life but also have a handful of friends that live nearby who I can hang out with on a more normal basis.

funkyryno 06-26-17 11:32 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
I wouldn't mind a few friends with benefits (swimming pools, speed boats, vacations condos, etc.)

kefrank 06-26-17 11:42 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
I think this depends a lot on one's personality type. I'm extremely introverted, but not anti-social. I like people, but being with them drains my energy pretty significantly and I have to recharge with solitude and introspection. As such, I greatly value a few close friendships but do not cast a particularly wide social net.

Save Ferris 06-26-17 11:52 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
I remember reading a report that said women outlive men because they are better at forming social relationships as they age. The lack of social interactions does tend to shorten your life.

LurkerDan 06-26-17 11:55 AM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
It's threads like these that remind me that most of you are not at all like me.

slop101 06-26-17 12:16 PM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
Friends (real friends) are very important to me. I'm not married, so I'm able to put in a lot of effort to maintain friendships, which is more and more work the older you get. But they are important, and very important for having a fulfilling life.

candyrocket786 06-26-17 12:18 PM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
I don't care anymore. I gave up on one of my closest friends a few months ago after trying to get a lunch together for over 11 years.

IMO people have become increasingly lazy at maintaining *real* friendships since Facebook exists. Phone calls have been replaced with "Likes" and the occasional "Private Message". It seems that if you don't have a page on there, no one really gives a fuck about you.

mhg83 06-26-17 02:28 PM

Re: How important is having friends to you?
 
I get my fill of social interaction at work. I just wanna go home, play some videogames, and jerk off . Never interested in getting friends to "hang out". Leave me the fuck alone.


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