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Mom died

Old 03-10-17, 10:00 PM
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Re: Mom died

Very sorry for your loss, Jim. All the best to you and your loved ones.
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Old 03-10-17, 10:39 PM
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Re: Mom died

My mom's been gone thirteen years in May. You never really stop missing a parent, but the crazy thing is, the older you get the more you understand why they were the way they were, and it makes you miss them even more because if they were still around you'd probably get along with them a lot better.

I'm so glad your mom isn't suffering anymore. Mine died of COPD which is bad enough. After you get through the first year or so, you'll find that the good memories come back oftener and oftener, to comfort you. Hang in there. Sending you heart hugs.
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Old 03-10-17, 11:55 PM
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Re: Mom died

My condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss.
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Old 03-11-17, 12:45 AM
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Re: Mom died

Glad that her suffering is over and you can start the healing process and moving on to the next (hopefully) happier phase of your life.

A combination of Alzheimers (mostly) and osteoporosis took my mother 5 years ago, and now my dad is in stage 5 of Alzheimers living at an assisted living facility. It won't be long before he'll need to be moved to a lock down environment as he has already wandered off the premises thinking it would be okay with the ALF (it wasn't). Knowing that ALZ will claim both of my parents has left both my brother and I knowing that we stand a very good chance of a similar fate. What are you gonna do?

Last edited by Jack Straw; 03-13-17 at 01:54 AM.
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Old 03-11-17, 12:49 AM
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Re: Mom died

My condolences, Jim.
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Old 03-11-17, 01:00 AM
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Re: Mom died

My sincere condolences, and may the healing process be quick and complete. Always hard to lose a loved one, especially Mom. Please stay bright, and remember you will see her again some day in the pearly gates.
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Old 03-11-17, 02:01 AM
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Re: Mom died

Condolences to you and your family.
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Old 03-11-17, 05:59 AM
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Re: Mom died

Condolences and prayers, Jim. Your experience is remarkably similar to what happened with our mom. Grief does fade, but the good memories of who they are and what they mean to us remain. Remembering all the quirks, funny sayings, and favorite things can help, too, during this time, and help honor your loved ones and keep them alive in your life.
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Old 03-11-17, 08:50 AM
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Re: Mom died



I lost my father and it can really knock the wind out of you - it does get better.
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Old 03-11-17, 09:53 AM
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Re: Mom died

Sorry to hear it friend. Take care of yourself.
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Old 03-11-17, 10:39 AM
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Re: Mom died

Sorry to hear the loss of your mother.

My father passed a few years ago from cancer and while it was sad letting him go, it was a comfort knowing he was no longer in pain.
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Old 03-11-17, 02:22 PM
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Re: Mom died


I don't post often on this forum, but I read it almost every day. I had followed your journey that you had gone through with your mother. I'm sorry for you loss.
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Old 03-11-17, 03:42 PM
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Re: Mom died

Very sorry for your loss, Jim.
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Old 03-11-17, 07:20 PM
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Re: Mom died

Thank you everyone for all the kind words. We were without power from Wednesday afternoon until just now. I was at the mall on their Wi-Fi on Friday which allowed me to do a couple posts but I am way behind. I now have one day to make an urn for the ashes and we're still hoping the funeral home gets it's power back in time.

I'll be repeating myself, but the mother I knew left me probably 18 - 21 months ago. It was an amazing and precipitous drop in cognitive function after dad died. At first it was cute, she was seeing friendly spirits and seeing my father's spirit and it was making her feel at peace with his loss. Pretty soon the spirits were stealing her jewelry and people were outside taking pictures of her. We moved her into my sister's in-law apartment but she didn't like it because they were letting other people live there. So by the time my dad had passed 3 or 4 months, intelligent conversation was tough to come by. In the last few months she couldn't really convey a coherent thought. It was very entertaining to hear about the $43,000 that NBC paid her the commercial work she did. Good for you mom. Glad something finally went your way.
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Old 03-12-17, 10:12 AM
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Re: Mom died

That sucks, Jim. I hope you're able to get through this in a good way.
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Old 04-10-17, 06:24 AM
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Re: Mom died

Over at my sister's house yesterday, we went into the in-law apartment to clean up some stuff and put some things away. The sadness really hit me. It wasn't so much the death, it was the tragedy of the dementia. This was one cool little apartment. A kitchen with eating area, living area and bedroom, bathroom with a walk-in shower. When it was being designed she even insisted on a stove and dishwasher because she envisioned herself being independent. Perfect for a senior. All the furniture is hers from the old house so her presence is really felt. Too bad the damn dementia had already taken hold and made it impossible for her to live there. What a waste. My sister now has a $40,000 apartment on the back of her house, little to no garage because that's where some of the room came from and an $800 a year sewer bill for a place mom lived in 4 months.

I do miss her more than I thought. For all the heartache of going to the nursing home, she was still mom.
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Old 04-10-17, 10:42 AM
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Re: Mom died

Speaking only to the money spent, your sister spent less on the apartment than my mother has spent on a year of minimally assisted living. My mom had to make a deposit of something like $100k, and is paying about $2800 a month rent.

My mom has a nice apartment with her own furniture. There are planned activities and they have a physical therapist and nurses. But it is expensive.
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