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Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

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Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Old 10-31-16, 01:47 PM
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Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

My downstairs neighbor is a slow adult. For a month or so this summer she'd corner me once or twice a week and ask me to buy her chocolate milk. She'd say things like, "Boy it sure would be nice if I had some chocolate milk" or would flat out ask for it. I'd normally humor her and say things like oh yeah that's good stuff or name some food item I wanted in response but got tired of talking about it so eventually told her I'd pick up some the next time I went to the store if she gave me the money. She said she wouldn't have the money and has asked once or twice since then but I just reminded her of the money and she was polite about it.

So about an hour ago she knocks on my door and is looking out of it and hands me $5 and says she wants a gallon of 2% chocolate milk and a bag of candy with anything that's left and to keep it on the down low. She's told me in the past her mom wouldn't let her have chocolate milk and she's quite overweight so I'm guessing she's diabetic.

I don't really know what to do. I don't want either her or her mother upset at me or cause an issue. This woman shouts out to me and the kids almost everytime we come and go from the house and it's friendly but could see her being a huge pest if she was upset at someone. Her mom puts up with a ton I'm sure and has her kid's health in mind (though I wonder how she got to be so overweight if that was the case but who knows, I'm no doctor).

Anyways what would you do?
Old 10-31-16, 01:52 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Don't give her anything she isn't supposed to have. If it continues go up to her apartment and talk to her Mom.
Old 10-31-16, 01:54 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

As a diabetic, I wouldn't get it for her. She could need it if her blood sugar got too low, but if she's a slow adult, I would first assume that she just wants to cheat. If you're feeling super-neighborly, you can get some candy to keep on hand if she has low blood sugar (she'll probably seem drunk, somewhat incoherent) but that can lead to a whole host of problems.
Old 10-31-16, 01:57 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

When she comes back up will tell her I'm sorry but dont want to get her anything if her mom doesn't know about it. Thanks.
Old 10-31-16, 02:04 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Sounds like she's already a pest. People like that are expert at identifying who they can manipulate and who doesn't want to be mean to them. Don't let her be a pest. If she senses you don't want a confrontation, she will continue to have power over you.
Old 10-31-16, 02:07 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

You are asking how you should be responding to a child?
Old 10-31-16, 02:18 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Her mom is probably monitoring her health and you adding sugar into the mix may be confusing things. If she wants it go ahead a get it, but give it to the Mom so she can give it to her.
Old 10-31-16, 02:37 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Originally Posted by Brian Shannon View Post
You are asking how you should be responding to a child?
Yup and said thanks for the advice.

Was more looking for advice on how to handle things rather than whether I should buy the chocolate milk or not. I want to cause the least amount of awkwardness entering and exiting my house. I'm not buying her anything.

Edited to add - Thanks again for all the responses. Will be strict with her on not buying it and if I see her like I saw her again today (looking out of it) will offer her the candy. Don't want to proactively say that I have some for her if she needs it just because I feel like she'll bug me for it all the time.

Last edited by Nesbit; 10-31-16 at 02:48 PM.
Old 10-31-16, 03:03 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

have an apple ready, in case she comes to your house to trick or treat tonight
Old 10-31-16, 03:43 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Don't answer the door. Just ignore her. She will eventually stop bothering you
Old 10-31-16, 04:21 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Move.
Old 10-31-16, 07:47 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Coming from the parent of a diabetic child with learning delays: you should go to her mother and let her know. It may seem innocent, but it goes beyond the sweets -- I would be just as concerned about her giving you money as well.
Old 10-31-16, 08:18 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Originally Posted by Abob Teff View Post
Coming from the parent of a diabetic child with learning delays: you should go to her mother and let her know. It may seem innocent, but it goes beyond the sweets -- I would be just as concerned about her giving you money as well.
I would wonder just how many neighbors she's hitting on.
Old 10-31-16, 09:20 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Originally Posted by Sgtsnake View Post
Don't answer the door. Just ignore her. She will eventually stop bothering you
Yeah, this.

You need to avoid this person. The more you lead her on, the more she's going to bother you. Don't answer the door when she's knocking on it. Blow her off when she walks up to you. You can wave and say hello, but keep the engagement at that level.

And do not start buying or giving her sweets. You'll never get rid of her then. She already sounds rather pushy, and that's only going to get worse.

People with mental disabilities (autism, retardation, schizophrenia) can become pests if you give them too much attention. This sounds cold, but a lot of them are probably lonely and isolated, and don't have boundaries that normal people do. Some of these people can be quite manipulative, too.
Old 10-31-16, 09:43 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

FYI, most overweight people don't have diabetes. Even among the morbidly obese. And the large majority of type 2 diabetic are 65 years or older.
Old 10-31-16, 10:11 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Originally Posted by Abob Teff View Post
Coming from the parent of a diabetic child with learning delays: you should go to her mother and let her know. It may seem innocent, but it goes beyond the sweets -- I would be just as concerned about her giving you money as well.
She knocked on the door earlier. Gave her back the $5, told her I didn't go to the store, and that I didn't feel comfortable buying her stuff on the down low. She said thanks for trying and left.

I never see the mother unless she's going out to the car with her daughter. Really think I should seek her out and tell her what happened? Can understand that the daughter might be asking other people to get her stuff but the only time I see the mother is (rarely) when she's going to the car with her daughter and her daughter is always home with her so if I tell the mother it's going to be with the daughter right there and likely lead to some kind of issue/scene.

Originally Posted by wmansir View Post
FYI, most overweight people don't have diabetes. Even among the morbidly obese. And the large majority of type 2 diabetic are 65 years or older.
Yeah most overweight people aren't diabetics but aren't most diabetics overweight? Could just be the ones I know but out of the five diabetics I know four of them are overweight.

Anyways wasn't assuming she was diabetic just based on weight but weight + her saying her mother didnt want her to have chocolate milk. Could still be making a bad assumption but it was based on both of those factors, not just the weight.

Last edited by Nesbit; 10-31-16 at 11:02 PM.
Old 10-31-16, 11:00 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Maybe her mother doesn't want her to get any more cavities.

Dental health, diabetes or whatever, you don't know her medical history. It could be something serious so it'd be wise to just stay out of it and ignore her.
Old 11-01-16, 05:14 AM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Originally Posted by Nesbit View Post
Yeah most overweight people aren't diabetics but aren't most diabetics overweight? Could just be the ones I know but out of the five diabetics I know four of them are overweight.

Anyways wasn't assuming she was diabetic just based on weight but weight + her saying her mother didnt want her to have chocolate milk. Could still be making a bad assumption but it was based on both of those factors, not just the weight.
Yes, about 90% of diabetics are type 2 and of those about 85% are overweight. However it takes decades to develop even for those who are unhealthy. 95% of type 2 cases are over forty and 2/3 are over 65.

When people talk about the childhood obesity epidemic they're usually speaking out of concern, in terms of diabetes, of early onset. Already the rates of diagnosis is shifting younger, but it is generally a shift from average elderly to late middle-aged.

Not that I think it should matter in terms of how you act in this situation, but her mom is likely just concerned about her weight and general health.

Last edited by wmansir; 11-01-16 at 06:09 PM.
Old 11-01-16, 08:57 AM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

She's trying to get you to sneak her sugar.

Her Mother (evidently) does not want her to have sugar.

Not having sugar is not unhealthy.

Don't buy her anything. Tell her Mom what's going on.
Old 11-01-16, 11:02 AM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

If you feel the need to tell the mom without the daughter being there, since you know her address, write her a letter.
Old 11-01-16, 12:53 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

People on the Internet sure do get into some odd situations!
Old 11-01-16, 12:59 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Buy her chocolate milk sweetened with Stevia. She'll never come back.
Old 11-01-16, 01:05 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

Originally Posted by Vipper II View Post
People on the Internet sure do get into some odd situations!
1000 X this!
Old 11-01-16, 01:10 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

One thing I've noticed of late: some members on this forum sure have a hard time saying "NO" to people trying to take advantage of them.
Old 11-01-16, 03:52 PM
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Re: Advice Needed - Diabetic Neighbor

btw, I need some money...

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