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Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

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Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Old 09-01-16, 04:41 PM
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Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Long time lurker here. I have enjoyed reading all the disastrous relationship threads here over the years. I never thought I would have one of my own, but I guess I should have knocked on wood because now I might have one.

I started a new job at a large corporation back in April. I work at the corporate headquarters in the accounting department. I have recently started chatting with a female coworker who works in an office in another state (about 200 miles between us).

I know coworker relationships are most often a bad idea, but we’re not the traditional definition of coworkers since we don't directly work together in the same office. She emails me timecards for payroll, and that is the extent of how much we work together.

About a month ago we started chatting once or twice a week on Skype. I have a crush on her now, and two weeks ago she said that her boyfriend she dated for two years recently cheated on her and they are no longer together.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know if she likes me as anything more than a chat buddy to kill time at work. I know she is not over her ex, so I know to take it slow, but I don't want to end up friendzoned (if I'm not already) by going too slow either.

I know a two year relationship is going to take a long time to get over, and she lives 200 miles away, so I don't think there is really any chance for me but I just don't know.

She got a haircut last week and updated her Skype pic on Tuesday. I complimented her with, “I didn't think it was possible for you to be even more beautiful than you already are, but you succeeded.” That was the first time I ever said anything like that to her. She just said thanks and then said she had to get ready for a meeting. Her Skype status did show her in a meeting, so I don't think that was just an excuse to escape, but who knows. lol. I haven't talked to her since then.

Before the “great escape” we were talking about the upcoming three day weekend (Monday is Labor Day). I asked her if she had any plans and she said no, she still needed time to heal before she could enjoy time off again.

I found a poem last night which I thought about sharing with her. It's not romantic which I know would be creepy to give her this soon, but I still am not sure if it is appropriate to give her. This is the poem:

There's always tomorrow,
when you feel like giving up,
and from another day you can borrow.

When sorrow comes your way,
so confused that,
it makes you sway.

Always someone worse than you,
today may be depressing,
but tomorrow will be brand new.

Time heals all wounds,
each day will get better,
and you'll see many moons.

There's always tomorrow,
so don't give up,
And you'll another day borrow.

So give me some good old fashioned Otter advice please. I eagerly await the pee in her butt jokes. (This is not part of the poem… or maybe it should be?)
Old 09-01-16, 05:58 PM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

totally send her that poem with 2 dozen red roses
Old 09-01-16, 06:14 PM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

The sun will come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
There'll be sun

Just thinkin' about tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow

When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely
I just stick up my chin and grin and say, oh

The sun will come out tomorrow
So you gotta hang on
'til tomorrow, come what may!
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow
You're only a day away!
Old 09-01-16, 06:42 PM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Man, if there's a creepy friend zone, you're headed straight for it.

But seriously, work dating, bad idea. Long distance dating, less than ideal. Seeking an LTR with a girl on the rebound, outlook is poor. That poem, c'mon dude.

Now if you approach it from a fun and friendly no-strings angle, you might get some road trip PIHB action out of it.

Good luck!
Old 09-01-16, 07:09 PM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Originally Posted by AGuyNamedMike View Post
Man, if there's a creepy friend zone, you're headed straight for it.

But seriously, work dating, bad idea. Long distance dating, less than ideal. Seeking an LTR with a girl on the rebound, outlook is poor. That poem, c'mon dude.

Now if you approach it from a fun and friendly no-strings angle, you might get some road trip PIHB action out of it.

Good luck!
This.
Also, freshen up your résumé.
Old 09-01-16, 07:40 PM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Old 09-01-16, 09:11 PM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

You had your answer when she just said 'thanks' about being beautiful. Move on.

Also: jace
Old 09-01-16, 09:21 PM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

In some workplaces, that compliment you gave her could be considered sexual harassment. The signals she's sending are not encouraging. I'd keep it strictly professional from now on if I were you.
Old 09-01-16, 09:22 PM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

If you had to ask Otter you already know the answer.


Also: twikoff
Old 09-01-16, 09:51 PM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

If it comes off this creepy the way that you are portraying it in a public forum, then the way that it really happened probably scared her half to death.
Old 09-01-16, 10:44 PM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Depends:
How old are you, how old is she? (I.e. is she in her 20s while you're an old creep?)
Where do you live, where does she live? (I.e. do you live in Nowhereville while she's in Exciting Big City?)
What's your job, what's hers? (I.e. who's higher up, who makes more?)
Are you in her league? (I.e. Are you a handsome guy who might stand a chance with her, or are you a dog?)
Old 09-02-16, 02:09 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Man, if there's a creepy friend zone, you're headed straight for it.


/thread

#dontrungame
Old 09-02-16, 02:11 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

The key is not to allow your heart get so absorbed into her. Play it cool. Play it fun and friendly.

Don't throw her the deep romantic shit. Do it when she's starting to get into you. From what you wrote it seems she's not in that stage yet. Seems she's just keeping it very friendly with you.
Old 09-02-16, 02:17 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Don't ever throw in romantic nonsense unless you're actually sleeping with her.
Old 09-02-16, 02:31 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Keep it light and friendly. Avoid romantic talk and romantic gifts at this point.

By keeping it light and friendly at this stage, you will put yourself in a better position down the line when she's over the ex-boyfriend and is looking around for her next conquest. You could move from friend to lover in her life at that time if you've got what she wants. Be patient. By coming on too strong when she's not ready for a new relationship will only get you rejection.
Old 09-02-16, 06:31 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Tell her you can make hamburgers at home for 1/5 the cost
Old 09-02-16, 06:51 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Originally Posted by JohnWicksDog View Post
She got a haircut last week and updated her Skype pic on Tuesday. I complimented her with, “I didn't think it was possible for you to be even more beautiful than you already are, but you succeeded.” That was the first time I ever said anything like that to her. She just said thanks and then said she had to get ready for a meeting. Her Skype status did show her in a meeting, so I don't think that was just an excuse to escape, but who knows. lol. I haven't talked to her since then.
Sounds to me like you got instantaneously "friend-zoned" with that one complement. Should've kept it lighter.....much lighter.
Old 09-02-16, 06:51 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Tell her you'll gladly pay her Tuesday for a hamburger today.
Old 09-02-16, 07:22 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Relationship?
Old 09-02-16, 07:30 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

You went way overboard with the first compliment you ever gave her. You should have just said something light like "your new haircut looks good" and then you could have gotten a better vibe just from her response and not have to seem overzealous.
Old 09-02-16, 07:35 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

I didn't think it possible for anyone to friendzone themselves so quickly, but you succeeded.
Old 09-02-16, 07:37 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Originally Posted by JohnWicksDog View Post
She got a haircut last week and updated her Skype pic on Tuesday. I complimented her with, “I didn't think it was possible for you to be even more beautiful than you already are, but you succeeded.” That was the first time I ever said anything like that to her. She just said thanks and then said she had to get ready for a meeting. Her Skype status did show her in a meeting, so I don't think that was just an excuse to escape, but who knows. lol. I haven't talked to her since then.
That right there tells me everything I need to know. You're friendzoned.

Do not send her that poem. You're just a friend and you work together. If you start getting really weird you may get hit with a sexual harassment thing.

I've been in your shoes. We all have. We know what it's like to have feelings for someone that doesn't have them too. It sucks and it's hard to get over. Try to keep a social distance from you and the coworker. You can't be her shoulder to cry on while she gets over her boyfriend, that'll just get you deeper in the friendzone. Keep your distance, let her cool off and let your feelings for her cool off. It's really the absolute best thing you can do. Hitting the dating pool in your own city would be a good idea too.
Old 09-02-16, 08:44 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Originally Posted by JohnWicksDog View Post
“I didn't think it was possible for you to be even more beautiful than you already are, but you succeeded.”
Old 09-02-16, 09:14 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Honestly man, I would delete her from your Skype, communicate only by e-mail and end every single one with Regards. Pray she doesn't make a big deal about this.
Old 09-02-16, 09:15 AM
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Re: Yet another potentially disastrous relationship thread

Well shit. I was hoping this would be a nice long thread, but it already ended in post 1.

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