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The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Old 08-27-16, 01:27 PM
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The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

This thread is for talking about those feel good things you hate to see your coworkers post on their Facebook accounts. The positive sides to your social, health and relationship "problems". So, you know, maybe there's a scientifically positive side to Alan Smithee's "collecting" (quote unquote).

...

So while at the laundromat today (along with a couple who positively tweaked up before doing their laundry), I encountered a guy who was talking to himself. It made me feel uncomfortable, but not in danger.

There's always a handful of crazies at the laundromat every time I visit. It's always a comforting feeling when I encounter some "normals" there. While I think that dude was ill, it got me to thinking about how *I* talk to myself a for hours daily, and occasionally get caught. I feel very awkward when it happens. But I learned that, when I talk to myself, it helps me be clearer and less nervous when I actually need to address someone (usually in a business setting).

After getting back, I Google'd "dealing with people who talk to themselves" and found this.

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/p...elves/1105688/

People Who Talk To Themselves Aren’t Crazy, They’re Actually Geniuses

“If I were my peach smoothie body butter, where would I be?” I say to no one while I search for my favorite lotion. Then: “Aha! Here you are. You rolled under my bed.”

I talk to myself a lot. And I don't mean only in the privacy of my own home. I talk to myself while I'm walking down the street, when I'm in my office or when I'm shopping.

Thinking out loud helps me materialize what I'm thinking about. It helps me make sense of things.

It also makes me look insane. Crazy people talk to themselves, right? They're conversing with the voices inside their heads. If you're yammering on to nobody, everyone thinks you're a mental patient.

I'm sure many people have seen me wandering down the streets of NYC and thought, “The crack addiction is strong with that one.”

I'm positive I look disturbingly similar to Gollum in “Lord Of The Rings” when he dotes over his “precious.”

Well, the joke is on the judgmental assh*les who give me a side-eye on the train. (By the way, I SEE YOU!).

Talking to yourself, it turns out, is a sign of genius.

The smartest people on earth talk to themselves. Look at the inner monologues of the greatest thinkers. Look at poetry! Look at history!

Albert Einstein talked to himself. He wasn't an avid social butterfly when he was growing up, and he preferred to keep to himself.

Einstein.org reports that he “used to repeat his sentences to himself softly.”

So, you see? I'm not alone, and I'm not completely bonkers. I'm just really smart. Ha!

Talking to yourself makes your brain work more efficiently.

In a study printed in the Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology, psychologists Daniel Swigley and Gary Lupya hypothesized that talking to yourself was actually beneficial.

We’re all guilty of it, right? We might as well celebrate it and study the benefits.

In one experiment, Swigley and Lupya gave 20 people the name of an object (like a loaf of bread or an apple), which they were told to find in the supermarket.

During the first set of trials, the participants were bound to silence. In the second set, they repeated the object’s name out loud as they looked for it in the store.

According to Live Science, test subjects found the object with greater ease when they spoke to themselves while searching. Saying things out loud sparks memory. It solidifies the end game and makes it tangible.

Talking out loud to yourself helps you only when you know what you need.

If you want to find something, speaking the object’s name out loud is helpful only when you’re familiar with its appearance.

You have to know what it is you're looking for; otherwise, you'll just confuse yourself. According to Lupyan:

Speaking to yourself isn’t always helpful — if you don’t really know what an object looks like, saying its name can have no effect or actually slow you down. If, on the other hand, you know that bananas are yellow and have a particular shape, by saying banana, you’re activating these visual properties in the brain to help you find them.

In other words, you can't make sense of something without knowing what you're dealing with. If you know what you need and verbalize its name, you will better your chances of finding it.

You learn as a child by talking to yourself.

Babies learn to speak by listening to grownups and mimicking what they say. Talking is all about practice.

We need to hear our voices to learn how to use them.

According to Live Science, “self-directed speech can help guide children’s behavior, with kids often taking themselves step-by-step through tasks such as tying their shoelaces, as if reminding themselves to focus on the job at hand.”

Think about all the munchkins you know. Haven't you seen them talking to themselves while they play with a toy car or favorite stuffed animal?

A toddler can remain focused by talking through his problems.

If a small boy is playing with his toy cars, he might say, “The small car can fit through this garage door, but the big truck is too big.” At the same time, he’ll test which of the cars fit inside the toy garage.

A child learns by talking through his actions. By doing so, he remembers for the future how he solved the problem. Talking through it helps him or her make sense of the world.

Talking to yourself helps you organize your thoughts.

What helps me the most when I talk to myself is that I’m able to organize the countless wild thoughts running rampant through my brain.

Hearing my issues vocalized calms my nerves. I’m being my own therapist: Outer-voice me is helping inner-brain me through my problems.

According to psychologist Linda Sapadin, talking out loud to yourself helps you validate important and difficult decisions. “It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what's important and firm up any decisions you're contemplating.”

Everyone knows the best way to solve a problem is to talk it out. Since it's your problem, why not do it with yourself?

Talking to yourself helps you achieve your goals.

Making a list of goals and setting out to achieve them can be hard to do. It can be overwhelming.

Talking yourself through those goals is a much steadier way to achieve them. If you walk yourself through the process, each step will seem less difficult and more concise.

Things will suddenly seem doable, and you'll be less apprehensive about diving into the problem.

As Sapadin puts it, “Saying [your goals] out loud focuses your attention, reinforces the message, controls your runaway emotions and screens out distractions.”

It puts things in perspective and grounds you.

Talking to yourself means that you are self-reliant. Like Albert Einstein, who “was highly gifted and acquired early in his life the ability to exploit his talents,” people who talk to themselves are highly proficient and count on only themselves to figure out what they need.

We “crazies” are the most efficient and intelligent of the bunch. We take the time to listen to our inner voices, out loud and proud!
Old 08-27-16, 01:28 PM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

https://www.rewireme.com/insight/8-r...or-your-brain/

8 REASONS WHY COLLECTING THINGS YOU LOVE IS GOOD FOR YOUR BRAIN

People collect many types of things, for many reasons. My choice is rhinos—that is, rhino figurines. It’s an odd thing to collect, I guess, judging from the bemused reactions I get when guests see them perched around my house. I’d like to say I began accumulating them to support their protection (they are in danger of extinction), but that wasn’t it. My interest started after I saw them up close for the first time 15 years ago, from inside my car at Lion Country Safari in Florida.

Currently on display in my home are small rhinos made of wood, metal, plastic, ceramic, rubber, glass, and hematite (a mineral). I have adult rhinos, baby rhinos, rhinos standing, and rhinos lying down asleep. I also have a rhino eraser, a pen with a rhino head, a rhino Christmas ornament, a bobblehead rhino, a rhino wine stopper, a rhino ring-toss game, and four T-shirts and one pair of shoes emblazoned with rhino images.

My passion for rhinos is due partly to my appreciation of irony, which is in ample supply for this animal. The rhino looks like a dinosaur but is a mammal (and a mammal with staying power—it’s been around for 60 million years). It looks like a powerful killing machine but is a vegetarian. Its horns look like large bones, yet they’re made of the same stuff as fingernails (keratin). Rhinos can weigh more than 5,000 pounds and they have stubby legs, yet they can run at speeds of up to 40 miles per hour.

But there are many reasons other than irony for building a collection. We collect things simply because we like them, or to preserve the past (antiques and heirloom photos), or as investments (gold, fine wines, vintage cars). As collections grow, they become a personal history that can take on more prominence with each new addition. “Collecting can ground you in the present while giving you a sense of the past,” notes writer Jane Dagmi.

8 Ways Collecting (Within Reason) Can Benefit Our Brains…and Our Lives

Compulsive hoarders who can’t seem to throw anything away have a serious problem. One’s choice of collectible may also reveal an eccentricity or two. I met a woman who had collected so many antique cookie jars that she’d installed special shelves for them that spanned every wall in her house. An acquaintance has an apartment filled with snow globes, creating a permanent wintry feel in his home.

For typical collectors, here are 8 reasons why their hobby is good for them:

1. Builds observational skills. You tend to become more cognizant of details in the things you collect, which can make you a better finder and seeker in general. Objects and their features that might have been lost in the background before you became a collector will stand out, bridging the gap between unknown and known. As a boy I had a vast collection of toy animals that I would bring outside to “live” in the desert (my sandbox), a lake (birdbath), or the jungle (under rhododendron leaves). Having these creatures made me want to find out more about the real-life versions, and I spent hours poring through the family set of illustrated encyclopedias. My interest and growing knowledge evolved into a love of nature hikes…and a knack for being the first to spot wildlife on a walk.

2. Improves organizational thinking. Collections often call for sorting into categories, whether it be stamps or coins…or rhinos (for example, in order of horn length). This can translate into more productive thinking in other tasks, especially when studying for tests and doing research for school papers or work projects.

3. Enhances pattern recognition. Categorizing objects enhances our ability to recognize common characteristics and detect gaps in a pattern. As Michele and Robert Root-Bernstein wrote in Psychology Today, “the collector also knows the surprise of finding something that doesn’t fit the collection pattern: Is the mismatch a fake? An exception? Something that belongs in another collection? Broken patterns are often the ones that teach us the most by challenging our preconceptions and expectations.”

4. Awakens a desire for knowledge. Just realizing how much information is out there on any subject can give you a greater thirst for learning itself. Knowing a lot about any one thing provides a reassuring sense of command in that subject, which is both useful and great for self-esteem.

5. Inspires creativity. Artists and writers often collect things that they find either visually stimulating or that trigger feelings of connection between different elements. The simple forms in the artwork of Spanish artist Joan Miró, for example, were influenced by objects he picked up and saved during walks, including stones, driftwood, and seashells. According to creativity researcher Shelley Carson, Ph.D., author of Your Creative Brain: Seven Steps to Maximize Imagination, Productivity, and Innovation in Your Life (Jossey-Bass), “Creativity is the act of taking bits of information—from your internal store of memories, knowledge, and skills or from the external environment—and combining and recombining them in novel and original ways to come up with a new idea or product that serves a purpose.”

6. May forge a commitment to a good cause. Prominently displaying certain types of collections can remind us of important causes and even lead us to actively support them. Learning about rhinos certainly led me to donate to preservation efforts, as well as raise awareness about their plight.

7. Fosters social connections. Finding others with a common interest can provide an instant icebreaker, as well as an opportunity to share a passionate interest. Great friendships often sprout from common ground.

8. And may pave the way to a career. Kids who collect rocks may become geologists. Those who collect postcards from other countries may become travel writers or foreign correspondents. My favorite example is a certain 19th-century student at the University of Cambridge who liked to collect beetles. This interest nurtured a fascination with all living things and became the focus of his life’s work. His name: Charles Darwin.

Do you have an unusual collection? Feel free to share your passion with our readers by commenting about it below. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to find a place to display my new rhinos.
Old 08-27-16, 02:01 PM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

I have a collection of comments about that.

1. The article does not sufficiently define "collecting" do that it does not include "accumulating". Accumulating does not do most of the things on his list.

2. Why does he feel a need to justify his rhinoceros collection? He remarks that people are "bemused" by it. I would think it was pretty cool.

3. Collecting only fosters social connections if you can stand being around other collectors, or have any interest in trading with them.

I collect fonts. This does not foster social connections, nor does it lead to a career (there are people who make some money creating fonts, but not a career)
Old 08-27-16, 04:10 PM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

"I collect spores, molds, and fungus."
Old 08-28-16, 12:14 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

My biggest problem right now is friends and family on facebook who make me feel like shit when they constantly brag in their posts. All they do is act like, ohh look at me at my awesome job, great car, new relationship, and on vacation. But the constant need for online validation seems too fake to me.
http://phys.org/news/2015-05-faceboo...arcissism.html
People who post Facebook status updates about their romantic partner are more likely to have low self-esteem, while those who brag about diets, exercise, and accomplishments are typically narcissists, according to new research.

Psychologists at Brunel University London surveyed Facebook users to examine the personality traits and motives that influence the topics they choose to write about in their status updates – something that few previous studies have explored.
The data was collected from 555 Facebook users who completed online surveys measuring the 'Big Five' personality traits – extroversion, neuroticism, openness, agreeableness and conscientiousness – as well as self-esteem and narcissism.
The research found:
People with low self-esteem more frequently posted status updates about their current romantic partner.
Narcissists more frequently updated about their achievements, which was motivated by their need for attention and validation from the Facebook community. These updates also received a greater number of 'likes' and comments, indicating that narcissists' boasting may be reinforced by the attention they crave.
Narcissists also wrote more status updates about their diet and exercise routine, suggesting that they use Facebook to broadcast the effort they put into their physical appearance.
Conscientiousness was associated with writing more updates about one's children.
Psychology lecturer Dr Tara Marshall, from Brunel University London, said: "It might come as little surprise that Facebook status updates reflect people's personality traits. However, it is important to understand why people write about certain topics on Facebook because their updates may be differentially rewarded with 'likes' and comments. People who receive more likes and comments tend to experience the benefits of social inclusion, whereas those who receive none feel ostracised.
"Although our results suggest that narcissists' bragging pays off because they receive more likes and comments to their status updates, it could be that their Facebook friends politely offer support while secretly disliking such egotistical displays. Greater awareness of how one's status updates might be perceived by friends could help people to avoid topics that annoy more than they entertain."
The research team said further studies should examine responses to particular status update topics, the likeability of those who update about them, and whether certain topics put people at greater risk of being unfriended.
'The Big Five, self-esteem, and narcissism as predictors of the topics people write about in Facebook status updates' by Tara C Marshall, Katharina Lefringhausen and Nelli Ferenczi is published here.


Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2015-05-faceboo...ssism.html#jCp
Old 08-28-16, 12:26 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

What do the psychologists have to say about people who check their Facebook page twice a year?
Old 08-28-16, 12:28 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

I haven't had a post on my page in more than a year. I wonder if anyone even notices.
Old 08-28-16, 12:36 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

The youngest people jumped ship already. The only people on there are thirty somethings and older and people marketing their stupid shit.
Old 08-28-16, 01:29 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

I have three different people who post pictures of their miscarriages on Facebook, always on the anniversary, but also at other random times during the year. I have no idea what to make of this. Am I an asshole for feeling like I don't want to see this? Is that the proper forum for sharing such intimate images? Okay, maybe it was fine to share your grief when it first happened, but to make a tradition of sharing these photos year after year?

Is this normal on other's Facebook as well?
Old 08-28-16, 07:02 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

If anyone comments on my having a conversation with myself I tell them that sometimes I'm the only intelligent person I can find to talk to. Learned that from my Dad...
Old 08-28-16, 10:50 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Originally Posted by Crocker Jarmen View Post
I have three different people who post pictures of their miscarriages on Facebook, always on the anniversary, but also at other random times during the year. I have no idea what to make of this. Am I an asshole for feeling like I don't want to see this? Is that the proper forum for sharing such intimate images? Okay, maybe it was fine to share your grief when it first happened, but to make a tradition of sharing these photos year after year?

Is this normal on other's Facebook as well?
You monster!

I have friends who do this. I think it's really kind of sad.
Old 08-28-16, 12:14 PM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Halle, Berry, halle-lujah /
Holla, back, I'll, do ya

Old 08-28-16, 03:19 PM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

This is why I don't have or use Facebook and refuse to communicate through it. It's a repository of people's (mostly lame, and entitled) problems. It's a way for people to foist their problems on others, to make their problems other peoples' problems. I want no part of this psychological transference.

My problems are for the most part my private business, and if they become serious enough, I would have the maturity to seek appropriate professional help, not the leeching of "friends'" time and energy via a social media internet site...
Old 08-29-16, 02:04 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
You monster!

I have friends who do this. I think it's really kind of sad.
That's the creepiest thing I've heard in months. The fact that it's common is awful and, yes, very sad. The people there are bent.
Old 08-29-16, 08:45 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Perhaps we can create a safe space for you guys where you are not triggered by other people's miscarriages.
Old 08-29-16, 10:36 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Originally Posted by The Bus View Post
Perhaps we can create a safe space for you guys where you are not triggered by other people's miscarriages.
I just became aware of "trigger warnings" and "safe spaces" via an article this past week about University of Chicago.

Seriously, college kids these days need a safe place to "recover" from hearing an opinion they don't agree with or experiencing something they find offensive?

We are fucked.
Old 08-29-16, 11:19 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Originally Posted by bunkaroo View Post
I just became aware of "trigger warnings" and "safe spaces" via an article this past week about University of Chicago.

Seriously, college kids these days need a safe place to "recover" from hearing an opinion they don't agree with or experiencing something they find offensive?

We are fucked.
Or in this thread's case, adults who don't like posts about miscarriages on Facebook.
Old 08-29-16, 11:28 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Originally Posted by zyzzle View Post
This is why I don't have or use Facebook and refuse to communicate through it. It's a repository of people's (mostly lame, and entitled) problems. It's a way for people to foist their problems on others, to make their problems other peoples' problems. I want no part of this psychological transference.

My problems are for the most part my private business, and if they become serious enough, I would have the maturity to seek appropriate professional help, not the leeching of "friends'" time and energy via a social media internet site...
It's strange how a free service that you opt into and confirm all connections to other people and businesses is somehow "foisting" anything on you.
Old 08-29-16, 11:37 AM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Originally Posted by Mabuse View Post
That's the creepiest thing I've heard in months. The fact that it's common is awful and, yes, very sad. The people there are bent.
I've been on Facebook since 2008 and never have had a friend say anything about having a miscarriage.
Old 08-29-16, 12:14 PM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

I came into this thread expecting to be made to feel good, not to find another "complain about Facebook" thread.

I have one friend who posts about the anniversary of a miscarriage--just feelings and no pictures. It's a close friend and I went through one myself (though I never post about it), so I don't mind.
Old 08-29-16, 01:49 PM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

I was just saying what helps me feel better about being on facebook, and seeing people who use it as a brag book. I feel better knowing they probably have low self esteem, and out of control entitlement and narcissism.

Last edited by Bluelitespecial; 08-29-16 at 02:44 PM.
Old 08-29-16, 02:42 PM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Originally Posted by Troy Stiffler View Post
So while at the laundromat today.
Talking about something that makes me feel good about my problems!
Old 08-29-16, 02:55 PM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Originally Posted by Bluelitespecial View Post
My biggest problem right now is friends and family on facebook who make me feel like shit when they constantly brag in their posts. All they do is act like, ohh look at me at my awesome job, great car, new relationship, and on vacation. But the constant need for online validation seems too fake to me.
It's real easy. Just unfollow those that do it constantly. You can still remain friends but you won't see the crap they post. And they won't know you unfollowed. I've had to do it a couple times due to people constantly posting political crap.
Old 08-29-16, 03:00 PM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

My guess is the biggest braggers are the ones who are the most insecure.
Old 08-29-16, 03:07 PM
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Re: The Reasons to Make You Feel Good About Your "Problems" Thread

Originally Posted by Bluelitespecial View Post
I was just saying what helps me feel better about being on facebook, and seeing people who use it as a brag book. I feel better knowing they probably have low self esteem, and out of control entitlement and narcissism.
I think that says more about your self-esteem issues than theirs.

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