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Moving out of state

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Moving out of state

Old 05-25-16, 03:05 PM
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Moving out of state

So recently in the span of three months I managed to lose the career of my dreams, as well as break up with my long time girlfriend of four years. Knowing that I no longer really have anything keeping me here outside of family, I have been giving serious thought about moving out of state.

Does anyone have any experience doing it, and if so did they regret the decision or are they happy about doing it? Also how do you overcome the fear of taking that initial plunge?
Old 05-25-16, 03:20 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

Sorry to hear about the troubles.

I think there are all kinds of cases of people moving. Are you just going anywhere to get away, or do you have a goal and purpose in mind?
Old 05-25-16, 03:21 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

If you're moving simply for the sake of moving, I probably wouldn't. Just travel, check places out, but leave your stuff at home or in storage. When you find someplace you like, or when you find a job someplace, then you can "move".

I left Michigan for Arizona many years ago, post-divorce and having recently been laid off. Got a sweet contracting job in Phoenix, it only lasted 6 months, but I went from there to Iowa, where I've been ever since. I understand, that first move is a huge leap of faith, leaving your support system, your home turf, all of your comfort zones, heading into the great unknown. Trust yourself enough to know that you'll survive, and ifyou don't like it, you can move back home. Maybe not easily, but it can be done.

The fact that you're giving serious thought to the move tells me you're ready to do it, just experiencing natural hesitation and fear. Good luck!
Old 05-25-16, 03:24 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

Indeed, are you running toward something or just away?

If you just lost your job and your relationship you might not want to leave behind what little support structure you have left (family/friends) and familiar environs while still recovering, then look for a new beginning elsewhere once you're really ready.

Regardless, we're here to listen (and give questionable advice).
Old 05-25-16, 03:31 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

I moved from the Midwest out to the west coast back in the 90s and don't regret it. The only negative is my mother is still there and she's getting older. We're not really close, but I do get a little worried that if something should happen I'm pretty far away. Other than that, I don't miss it other than the scenery.

I remember not really worrying about anything bad. I felt optimistic that it would be something new and exciting. Of course, I was much younger and pretty naive. Still, things worked out pretty good, more or less.
I don't know if you're the type of person who can be independent in a new environment, but it can good to get out of your comfort zone and try new things.

If you're worried about how things will go, take a week or so and check out the place you want to move to. Scout out the area and places to live while you're there.

My biggest concerns were money and transportation, so I worked for a year and saved before driving out. Being in a new place, it was comforting not having to worry about cash and car for awhile.
Old 05-25-16, 05:56 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

I moved from NY to FL in 2003. For me it was a long time coming. I had some family in FL and had been visiting them every year for over 15 years and loved the area. I was lucky because my gf and I moved to FL and lived with my Grandparents while I was looking for a job. As soon as I found one, we moved out and into a rental apt. It took about 2 months to find a job. It's been the best thing I've done in my life. I'm so much happier in FL than I ever was in NY. The lifestyle is a lot different and it suits my mentality.

If I didn't have the family down here, I would probably try to secure a job first before moving even if it was a contract job. Moving and having to pay rent with no job is a risky proposition. In my case I did try finding a job for about 6 months before we just up and moved. Back then almost all the open positions were only available to local residents. I guess too many people got a job in FL, moved and then didn't like it. It was too much risk for the industry down here to hire out of staters.
Old 05-25-16, 06:16 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

Agree with everyone who says don't move just to move away - have a goal or purpose in mind. Stay focused on what you want your next step to be, write it out, be flexible, but firm in your planning.

I moved out of Michigan about 6ish years back - had a lot of things "set" back home. Had a good job. I was comfortable romantically, socially and financially. Yet, I wasn't happy. Kinda freaked out - late 20s, is this it? Is this my life?

I am a list maker... so just started jotting things down, reviewing them, changing them. Came up with a plan and stuck to it. Moved about 8 months after I decided I wanted to - saved up, visited places, told my friends and family about my plans... then did it.

I can say there was this moment that clicked a month or so after moving, that continues to be reinforced to this day - I own my life. I can pick up and move wherever I want to. I can pursue new passions, careers, romances in new places. It was empowering. Feels like real ownership over my life and existence. Sometimes it's important to be reminded of that

Am I doing all the things I thought I'd be doing now? Nope. Am I doing some? Yep! Did my wants and needs continue to evolve - yep. I don't care about some of the things I used to think mattered and care about things now I never thought I would. It's not about right things, or wrong things - it's just about actively living your life.
Old 05-25-16, 07:07 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

I went back to school as an older adult to be a speech therapist, and moved to Alaska right after grad school. I loved it, but my stepdad was diagnosed with lung cancer, and I moved back down after he passed to be closer to my mom (who then died soon after--I was glad to be closer as I quit my job to be her caregiver towards the end of her illness). Family has a way of drawing you back . . .

Since then, I've done strictly on call and contract work, and I love it. Worked in Idaho a few months ago, and now I'm at a hospital in Oregon. Plan to go to the east coast some time soon. For me, it's easy because the average contract is 13 weeks--you can usually extend if you like it, or pick somewhere else. Without contracting, it would be more permanent, but you could still always change your mind (life isn't without some risks--you may love it or hate it .. . )

One thing--really look at the value of your "stuff." I gave all mine to my then college age daughter for the move up and craigslisted my things in Alaska. Much easier and cheaper than trying to move things, and with craigslist, it's cheap to refurnish a home. Despite what some collectors may think, most things have very little value.

Sorry to hear about your job and your girlfriend. A double whammy like that is hard.
Old 05-25-16, 08:47 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

Go ahead on move if:

1. You have the means to fly back often to visit family.
2. If you have enough money to move back, in case things don't work out.
Old 05-25-16, 09:36 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

Just remember, Where ever you go, there you are.
Old 05-25-16, 09:38 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

2 big moves twice in my life... From Florida to NYC back in 2004. That was rough. Never really got used to it, but it ended up good in the long run. Then last year from NYC to Charlotte, NC. This one was much easier. I think since I made the move before I knew what to expect. Love living in NC. So much better. I will say there are more things I miss about NYC than I thought I would. But I get to visit both Florida and NYC regularly and its much easier to go to both.
Old 05-25-16, 09:45 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

I moved to Albuquerque in my mid-20s. I had nothing holding me to New Hampshire, and a friend here wanted someone to visit him. I liked it here and I stayed.
Old 05-26-16, 08:07 AM
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Re: Moving out of state

I moved to Denver, Colorado in 2013 and then moved back to TN last year. I moved without a job so it was pretty nerve-racking, but it all worked out. I loved my time in Colorado and wouldn't trade the experience of living in a new state for anything, but being away from family and the difference in cost of living swayed me to move back.
Old 05-26-16, 10:34 AM
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Re: Moving out of state

I moved from England to PR a long time ago. I did not have to move, in fact i had a fantastic and well paid job in England, all my family and friends and my culture. But in the end i thought that life is short and its to be experienced. The first few years were rough for me here (i had a job to come to, only to find out after being here a week that the job had fallen through. I then had 3 months of walking around handing out copies of my CV to companies in the hope of finding work, to finally have an interview only to find that due to paperwork they could not pay me right away. 6 months later working full time and not receiving a single penny i finally got paid. A VERY touch first year and lucky what savings i had got me through. But i was literally down to eating meals of toast by the end of it.)

Be very prepared and as people say, go because you want to and not because you want to get away from something/someone. I still have in my mind a move to Colorado, and i know that it will happen...just a matter of time. In that time i am reading up on the place, looking at places to live and the job market. I am in the middle of my citizenship application so that will help as a lot of jobs require security clearance in that part of the world and cannot get this without citizenship.

But good luck to you. I say see as much as you can. But certainly travel first and check a place out before moving there.
Old 05-26-16, 10:38 AM
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Re: Moving out of state

I moved away from everyone about 10 years ago. The hardest thing is not having the support system. I have 2 dogs and 2 kids and I don't really trust anyone to watch them, then you have to find reliable service people like a mechanic.

The thing is, things and people change whether you live there or move away. I am always comparing my childhood to my sons'. I remember playing with my group of friends everyday, playing sports, getting together and playing video games, ride around the city on our bikes. I would be outside 75% of my playtime and maybe inside 25% of it, my older son is the opposite, he's inside about 90% of his free time addicted to screen time.

My wife complains about holidays not being the same and not getting together with everyone on the weekends or cookouts etc. Well the area we came from most of our family has also moved out of the area a lot of them are 30-90 minutes away and they aren't getting together all that often either and we're not 20 anymore, most of us are in our 30s and are young families etc.

A lot of people are just sitting on social media nowadays. It's easier to reply to a post than to go over someone's house or pick up a phone.

I miss the food and not saying goodbye to dying relatives.
Old 05-26-16, 11:07 AM
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Re: Moving out of state

I moved from England to the US 25 years ago. Never regretted it. I just thought if it was something I had a chance to do I should try it. I'd rather move back having failed than sit there for the rest of my life wondering "what if".
Old 05-26-16, 11:09 AM
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Re: Moving out of state

About this time last year I was in a similar situation as you, OP. I was down on my luck. My job was terrible and I was having a tough time finding a better job. I was single with no romantic prospects. My apartment was about to raise my rent again to a point where I just couldn't afford it anymore. My friends were great but as we got older they had their own thing going on (career, significant others) while I was stuck in a rut.

I was ready to do the exact same thing you're thinking of doing. I had a few months before my lease was up so I started looking for jobs in other cities. But before I could really pull the trigger things just started to turn around for me so I stayed.

So my opinion? Do it but don't be dumb about it. The most important thing is to land a job that you'd think you'd like before moving. Going to a whole new city without a job is a very unnecessary burden.

And there's nothing to say you can't move back if it doesn't work.
Old 05-26-16, 12:20 PM
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Re: Moving out of state


Indeed, are you running toward something or just away?

A lot of it just comes from the curiosity factor of what it would be like to move out of my home state since I've lived there my entire life. Plus the career field I wanted to get into and had to leave is very, very hard to get into in my home state. So I feel like if I pursue it further I'm going to have to move away.
Old 05-26-16, 09:39 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

If youre moving to just get away, those are the wrong reasons.

I moved to get my dream job and in the process got my dream girl. I have moved to 4 different states in 4 years....
Old 05-26-16, 09:46 PM
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Re: Moving out of state

Move. Nothing wrong with that. Make sure you have a few dollars to get by.
Old 05-27-16, 04:43 AM
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Re: Moving out of state

I lived in Peru the first 14 years of my life. I lived in Miami approximately 7 years (high school n college years) and in Seattle for the past 10 years (work life). And although each move was hard at the beginning, I don't regret it. I made friends and gained experiences on each place which shaped me into who I am, and I feel like all these places have now become "home".

Yet as others have said family does pull you sometimes and with my parents getting older I been looking for a way to move closer to them..

Move if it makes sense for your career or you have something lined up but don't move just to get away from your current situation. remember you can always travel for a few days to clear your head

hope things turn around for you

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