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How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Old 01-31-17, 11:02 AM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Originally Posted by Norm de Plume View Post
But seriously, when did depression hit you? You have always seemed like a happy-go-lucky guy around here. Was there an event in your life that triggered it?
Yeah, but not something I'd talk about here. Seeing doctors and counselors, they call it depression but admit that it fits the diagnosis of PTSD far better. 2012. I started to self medicate with alcohol just to keep from falling apart, but it got to be too much. It wasn't much by most standards, though. I was going to the doctor to see about depression drugs and saw the side effects and decided it wasn't something worth doing.

Dr. Mabuse (anyone remember him?) told me that since I live in WA I should be looking at weed, being legal and all. I was very opposed because of reasons that didn't even exist. Just drug war propaganda. But I was really bad off, so I finally decided I had to. That's when he told me that if I was going to do it, I had to do it for 30 days straight. That took me by surprise and I wanted to say no, but he explained that whatever drug a doctor would give me would be for 30 days and then they would tweak it from there. Sound reasoning, so I agreed.

Weed was therapy. Forgetting what it did for mood, etc. etc., I used it as legit therapy. I have that background and found that when I sat out by the barn high for an hour or two each night, I could work through my shit like nobody's business. I could examine it all, dissect it, and had no ability to delude or lie to myself. It woke my eyes to a lot. And there is no doubt it saved my family.

Months later I decided I wasn't in a position to say it had done great things, because I was the subject looking out. So I chose to go to a drug counselor. Around the 5 week after going over all kinds of shit he said, "I do have some concerns long term, but I couldn't tell you to quit smoking weed. It sounds like it has been very helpful and it doesn't sound like you're the same person you use to be." That was confirmation, but it was also mostly done as ammunition for telling my parents.

It doesn't do the work on me that it use to, but one could argue I don't need the same help I use to. It keeps me level when I'm on the precipice of everything falling to shit.

The downside is that I have a legit allergy to weed. But I'd rather push through that than deal with most other drugs.
Old 01-31-17, 11:11 AM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

I don't deal with depression, much, if at all, but I do have some anxiety about a life event (say, the death of a loved one, or even losing my business/job) triggering it. Any advise as to how best deal with something that might bring on depression in the future?
Old 01-31-17, 11:41 AM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Everything's a potential trigger and mostly it never happens. Rather than worry about what might happen, eat drink and take pleasure in your work, man.
Old 01-31-17, 05:15 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

^That's great advice. It seems depression and other mental illnesses are getting ever more common, or perhaps the destigmatization has brought many previously-ashamed people out of the woodwork, but those who don't have it should not dwell on it as an eventuality, but rather just live their lives as normal. Some "normal" people might get circumstantial depression, which can be treated much more easily than chemical depression, but most will go through life without being affected by it firsthand at all.

Originally Posted by kvrdave View Post
Yeah, but not something I'd talk about here. Seeing doctors and counselors, they call it depression but admit that it fits the diagnosis of PTSD far better. 2012. I started to self medicate with alcohol just to keep from falling apart, but it got to be too much. It wasn't much by most standards, though. I was going to the doctor to see about depression drugs and saw the side effects and decided it wasn't something worth doing.

Dr. Mabuse (anyone remember him?) told me that since I live in WA I should be looking at weed, being legal and all. I was very opposed because of reasons that didn't even exist. Just drug war propaganda. But I was really bad off, so I finally decided I had to. That's when he told me that if I was going to do it, I had to do it for 30 days straight. That took me by surprise and I wanted to say no, but he explained that whatever drug a doctor would give me would be for 30 days and then they would tweak it from there. Sound reasoning, so I agreed.

Weed was therapy. Forgetting what it did for mood, etc. etc., I used it as legit therapy. I have that background and found that when I sat out by the barn high for an hour or two each night, I could work through my shit like nobody's business. I could examine it all, dissect it, and had no ability to delude or lie to myself. It woke my eyes to a lot. And there is no doubt it saved my family.

Months later I decided I wasn't in a position to say it had done great things, because I was the subject looking out. So I chose to go to a drug counselor. Around the 5 week after going over all kinds of shit he said, "I do have some concerns long term, but I couldn't tell you to quit smoking weed. It sounds like it has been very helpful and it doesn't sound like you're the same person you use to be." That was confirmation, but it was also mostly done as ammunition for telling my parents.

It doesn't do the work on me that it use to, but one could argue I don't need the same help I use to. It keeps me level when I'm on the precipice of everything falling to shit.

The downside is that I have a legit allergy to weed. But I'd rather push through that than deal with most other drugs.
Thank you for relating this. I'm happy to hear that the reefer has helped you so much, notwithstanding that its efficacy has subsided over time, and that you are allergic to it. The same thing happens with prescribed depression meds. Good thing you didn't become an alcoholic. That can only lead to bad things.
Sure, I remember Dr. Mabuse. I asked him a couple of years ago why he hadn't returned here, but he was noncommittal.
Old 01-31-17, 07:45 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Originally Posted by kvrdave View Post
Everything's a potential trigger and mostly it never happens. Rather than worry about what might happen, eat drink and take pleasure in your work, man.

Thanks, and I do all that, and while I don't have any actual anxiety over it, the future (or rather, the potential of a disastrous future) does niggle at me a bit here and there. But I guess that's a common fear for most people.

Smoking pot definitely lessens that concern...
Old 01-31-17, 07:51 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

I have a ton of anxiety and depression, what do I do? Suppress it. I'm sure it isn't healthy.

But then again, neither is eating as much as I do, and I seem to do that anyway.
Old 02-01-17, 09:09 AM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Originally Posted by RichC2 View Post
I have a ton of anxiety and depression, what do I do? Suppress it. I'm sure it isn't healthy.

But then again, neither is eating as much as I do, and I seem to do that anyway.
I'll tell you the same thing I tell everyone else: Get counseling. Having an expert teaching me better tools was very helpful.
Old 02-01-17, 09:34 AM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

I've been consciously dealing with anxiety to a certain extent for about 5 years now. For a few years before that I would have episodes I didn't realize where panic attacks - one sent me to the ER once.

I had some major life changes a few years ago that sent me spiraling hard and resulted in physical illness requiring months of recuperation. I was using small amounts of Xanax and later Klonopin under a doctor's care - never more than 1mg total a day. I don't think it was doing much for me - I'm 6'2" and 260 lbs. I tried several anitdepressants including nortriptyline and amitriptyline, but those two gave me horrible insomnia.

I wound up on Celexa and that pulled me out of my hole. The physical pain I had from the anxiety and muscle atrophy from recuperating where greatly helped. But unfortunately, it really messed with my ability to satisfy the wife. My therapist and I decided it was safe to come off of it. I eventually weened off my daily Klonopin as well and don't take anything now. I've actually been doing really well, but I have a tendency to fly off the handle from time to time. It's really not often, like once a month if that, but it's enough to cause major problems for me. It has already cost me some relationships. I still worry a lot too but not as much as I used to. I've had horrible health anxiety in the past.

I'm curious to know if anyone here has tried Remeron (mirtazapine). I was prescribed it as an alternative to Celexa since Remeron isn't know to cause the male performance side effect. The problem was I tried it under doctor's orders while I was still on Celexa, so I went half my Celexa dose and half a Remeron with 1mg Klonopin in my system. The result was I could barely get off the couch all day. I knew I wouldn't be able to function like that. I'm thinking about trying it again now since it would be the only thing in my system. Though the way things are going right now, I might as well just go back Celexa.
Old 02-01-17, 11:13 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Have you tried Effexor, bunkaroo? I don't take it, but I know many who do, and have been for years. It works for both depression (in lower doses) and anxiety (in higher doses).
I have heard about the erectile problems with Celexa. I take Cymbalta as an antidepressant (not helping me much at this point), and while I don't have any erectile problems, I do have a low sex drive, probably due to the meds.
It's good to know you are under a doctor's care. Keep trying new options. Something ought to work, not necessarily limited to medication.
Old 02-06-17, 12:12 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Originally Posted by Norm de Plume View Post
Have you tried Effexor, bunkaroo? I don't take it, but I know many who do, and have been for years. It works for both depression (in lower doses) and anxiety (in higher doses).
I have heard about the erectile problems with Celexa. I take Cymbalta as an antidepressant (not helping me much at this point), and while I don't have any erectile problems, I do have a low sex drive, probably due to the meds.
It's good to know you are under a doctor's care. Keep trying new options. Something ought to work, not necessarily limited to medication.
Thanks for the info Norm. I think my mom has tried Effexor before. I have some more major life changes happening right now so hopefully I don't spiral again though this time I know I'm at risk so I'm eating healthy and doing my best to get enough rest.
Old 02-06-17, 06:07 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Old 02-06-17, 09:45 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

A great way to cope with your problems is to vent them out with friends at a bar. Just have a good (and safe) time with friends. Be merry
Old 02-10-17, 06:48 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Originally Posted by Ringmaster View Post
A great way to cope with your problems is to vent them out with friends at a bar. Just have a good (and safe) time with friends. Be merry
That works for problems like "my boss is an asshole", but not so much for "I spent 2 days sleeping because I was suicidal and didn't want to hurt myself".
Old 02-11-17, 11:37 AM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Originally Posted by NORML54601 View Post
That works for problems like "my boss is an asshole", but not so much for "I spent 2 days sleeping because I was suicidal and didn't want to hurt myself".
Exactly. But it doesn't even need to be that bad either.
Old 02-11-17, 04:12 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Update on my daughter. She moved to Florida and is staying with my dad. She is here this weekend and is happy and upbeat. So I am feeling much better about her situation. She started working for a county club as a waiter/bartender. My dad is there until May so she has some time to get settled. The warm air and laid back attitude there is really helping her. We talked and talked for 8 hours straight yesterday until 3:30 AM and I can't express the words how comforting it was to connect with her like I haven't in years.

We at least are making progress.

Thanks again everyone for your support.
Old 02-11-17, 09:14 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Originally Posted by d2cheer View Post
We talked and talked for 8 hours straight yesterday until 3:30 AM and I can't express the words how comforting it was to connect with her like I haven't in years.
Excellent!
Old 02-13-17, 08:16 AM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Awesome news d2cheer!

And for those of you that are super focused on a perceived lack, whether it be that you haven't tried sushi or haven't had sex, just do it any legal way that you can. You might even be able to combine the two in one trip to Reno! And when it's done, you'll realize that while it is pretty amazing, the only way that it's going to hold you back is if you bring it up on dates. Then schedule therapy because it'll rear its ugly head again in different ways when you do have a significant other.

Just remember, everyone is stuck with the same truth - every relationship that they will ever be in will be failures, except maybe their last one. Maybe look at it as not taking as many practice swings.
Old 02-13-17, 11:51 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

It varies since my mood fluctuates between blah and feeling active/good. But I've found when I'm in a slump of depression. Sometimes, just talking with someone about anything, or doing something productive to get my mind off my mood helps alleviate the painful/hopeless feeling. Basically distract myself from the depression and I start feeling better. But it's a constant creeping up on me depression, that I get tired of fighting sometimes and that's when it starts taking over again.

I do take my medication regularly, so it's helped keep it at bay overall, but I still have occasional bouts of depression that strikes strongly, and I just do my best to keep calm and ride it out, since eventually it subsides.

My dog Bella definitely keeps me level headed though, she's so adorable and is always there for me. So having her around helps a lot, and the walks are nice and relaxing. In fact, her coming into my life saved me since I was trying to distance myself from everyone back then with the thought that eventually I'd kill myself, and assumed(wrongly) that no one would care nor bother trying to help me get better, so suicide was the 'answer' at some point in the future. All that's changed since Bella came into my life, and then going to therapy and then finally taking the plunge and giving medication a try(after foolishly resisting it for years thinking I could get well on my own). And I can't forget my two adorable nieces that were born a few years ago and am glad to have them in my life. Now, I really can't kill myself and see no reason to. So it's refreshing to not have suicidal fantasies anymore(or as much, I can't even remember the last time that stuff crossed my mind) even when I'm feeling down. Those thoughts would get intense sometimes and linger, so it's great to have that practically gone, and I can be at peace going about my daily life. And while those thoughts of ending it all might try to creep back up when feeling down and thinking about the 'hopeless' future. I've done my best to not get caught up in that trap, as I just try to think of the day to day and not the unknown future. It's too easy for me to then become filled with despair and start the road down to nothing.

I made a video about my experiences with depression a couple years ago after I had just come out of another huge depressive phase. I definitely need to make an update video sometime, since a lot has changed for the better in my life since the video. But I still struggle with depression and always will.


<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/T4sA0zQv_ac" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Old 02-14-17, 01:32 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Someone taught me this trick. It's like the sky is always blue. When it's gray, it's just because the clouds are blocking it. Those clouds are your depressive thoughts. When you realize that YOU are not depressed, but that you are just having depressed "clouds" so to speak, you can blow those clouds away. That separation is important because if you don't have that distance, it's easy to sprial down.
Old 02-14-17, 02:21 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

I find CBT tremendously frustrating, because while on one hand I can see and accept that my thoughts are a big component of my depressive spells, on the other hand I sometimes slip into a depressed funk for no apparent reason. It's hard to have much hope for the future when I think about the fact that I'm nearing 40 and learning emotional skills that well-adjusted teenagers in functional families learned a long time ago.

I have a lot of anxiety as well, which means I hate my current reality and am too nervous to do much to change it. By any objective measure my life is okay - the only major thing lacking is a romantic partner - but I'm certainly not content. Being dead sounds wonderful, but doing anything proactive to bring that about is apparently something I won't try again. I mostly trudge through my days. I'm on medication, use a lightbox, go to the gym regularly, go to therapy off and on, attend a support group 1-2 times a week, and read constantly about self-help. I'm trying to get better about trying new things when I feel up to it, and not beating myself up when I don't. I miss having someone to share my daily life with, but I understand that my low self-esteem, low confidence, and limited social interactions aren't likely to lead to any kind of change in that arena.
Old 02-14-17, 09:35 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Originally Posted by Julie Walker View Post
I made a video about my experiences with depression a couple years ago after I had just come out of another huge depressive phase. I definitely need to make an update video sometime, since a lot has changed for the better in my life since the video. But I still struggle with depression and always will.
I got dealt the trifecta of issues about 6 months ago. Never had an issue with Anxiety, Panic Attacks or Depression in all my 43 years. Soon after my Daughter had her baby is when it all hit me like 5million tons of bricks.
Last night I watched your video as my mind was going 100 MPH and I have to tell you, it was a big help.
The worst things are like having to abruptly leave a room and go cry for 10 minutes for no apparent reason. Sitting and watching TV and you cant really watch the show because you have racing thoughts of other shit for no reason. My leg bouncing up and down like a rabbit on speed. I hate it. It's all new to me and I dont know where it comes from.
I've not had thoughts of suicide but am afraid they will creep up on me without warning some day.

I'm really trying to beat this without meds and so far just taking Xanax when I REALLY need it. I dont drink or smoke. Don't use any type of drugs. I dont even like taking prescribed drugs. I'm just hoping that one day this will go away somehow and I can get back to normal. Like I used to be.
Old 02-15-17, 12:41 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Originally Posted by VHS? View Post
I got dealt the trifecta of issues about 6 months ago. Never had an issue with Anxiety, Panic Attacks or Depression in all my 43 years. Soon after my Daughter had her baby is when it all hit me like 5million tons of bricks.
Last night I watched your video as my mind was going 100 MPH and I have to tell you, it was a big help.
The worst things are like having to abruptly leave a room and go cry for 10 minutes for no apparent reason. Sitting and watching TV and you cant really watch the show because you have racing thoughts of other shit for no reason. My leg bouncing up and down like a rabbit on speed. I hate it. It's all new to me and I dont know where it comes from.
I've not had thoughts of suicide but am afraid they will creep up on me without warning some day.

I'm really trying to beat this without meds and so far just taking Xanax when I REALLY need it. I dont drink or smoke. Don't use any type of drugs. I dont even like taking prescribed drugs. I'm just hoping that one day this will go away somehow and I can get back to normal. Like I used to be.

I'm glad my video was of some help, and I highly recommend to at least talk to a therapist and try to figure out what's caused you to have these issues now. Since they could go away, or they may not. But at least understanding the symptoms and what's going on would be a good start.

I was adamantly against medication for years thinking I could just do it on my own. I even protested when therapists mentioned giving them a try and was defiantly opposed to it. I felt psyched up after my sessions feeling great and like all was better, then the moment I stepped out of the building. That sensation went away and the deep soul crushing depression crept back in and took over, and nothing changed in my life. It was just a continuous cycle of going nowhere

Then she had asked me why I was against medication( I was afraid it would 'change' me somehow, shows I'm 'weak' and can't do it on my own etc.), and mentioned that when a person has a cold, they take cold medicine, and that when the mind is ill, medication can alleviate it. I was cynically screaming in my head: "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!, I don't need medication!,You don't know what you're talking about!", and then I let it sink in. And finally, a few weeks later at my next session. I said "Alright, I'll give anti-depressants a try.", since I was curious what the results would be and could stop taking them if things got worse instead of better. Well, things got better, and I'm glad I finally opened up to them.
Old 02-15-17, 12:50 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Originally Posted by VHS? View Post
The worst things are like having to abruptly leave a room and go cry for 10 minutes for no apparent reason.
This is the worst. The fucking things that make me lose it. There are a hell of a lot of movies I can't watch with the family. And it isn't just sad things. Mostly I cry because of things that are actually beautiful.

If I get caught I go with the Fletch line, smile and say, "On top of it all, I think I'm starting my period."
Old 02-15-17, 03:43 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

^ Laughter aside, there's nothing unmanly about crying.
Old 02-16-17, 04:01 PM
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Re: How Do You Personally Cope with Depression? (a resource thread)

Even though I've suffered from depression my whole life, I hardly ever cried when I was younger, and when I did I was like Dave, it would mainly be over a sappy ending to a TV show or movie. It happens more often these days and more often over sad thoughts, but the happy crying still happens too. I started crying over a sweet scene in a video game the other day. I seem to be more susceptible when I've been smoking the sweet leaf too, which goes hand in hand with gaming, especially when I do 420 damage in an RPG.

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