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I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

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I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Old 12-08-15, 03:26 PM
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I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Didn't yell at anyone this time, but wanted to share my latest frustration.

So last night while my kids were sleeping I pre-assembled one of their Christmas presents. (It's no fun to have to put together a bunch of stuff on Christmas morning so I do it ahead of time.)

So I put together this gigantic Doc McStuffins Pet Vet thing. It comes in a huge box. When I'm done putting it together I hide it in a corner of the garage inside an even bigger plain brown box and I cover the whole thing with a painters tarp. (You gotta hide these things from the kids so it will be a surprise, right?)

I then take the big colorful Doc McStuffins box out into the alley to put it in the trash. (Gotta get rid of the evidence.) I've got four trash cans and one of them is completely empty so there's plenty of room to hide this big colorful box. I close the lid knowing that trash day is the next day, and I go to bed knowing I've covered my tracks in a reasonably complete manner.

So this morning it's 7:45 am and it's time to take the kids to school. As we're backing out of the garage my daughter says, "Hey what's that big colorful box that's sticking out of the trash!" I look over and the trash can is full. The lid is off. The can is brimming with yard clippings and branches, and right on top of it all is the fucking box!

My neighbor is an old lady and for whatever reason she only has two little trash cans. They are nowhere near big enough for all her yard clippings, so her gardener uses my cans. Usually it's no problem, but today he fucked me. This is what I get for being easy going and letting the guy use my trash cans?

Fortunately I played dumb and claimed I didn't know what the hell it could be. We were far enough away that they couldn't tell precisely what it was, only that it was a toy. I said, "I don't know, someone else must have tossed their trash in there," and I changed the subject really fast.

Anyway, that gardener is one Helper Elf that's on this Santa's Shit List.

Last edited by Mabuse; 12-11-15 at 12:00 PM.
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Old 12-08-15, 03:29 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

You saved Christmas, just in time!
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Old 12-08-15, 03:35 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

This is your fault. You've let the gardener use the can before and didn't have an issue with it. Gardener had no idea what's in your trash can or that you're trying to hide something from your kids before putting the clippings in there. He can't read your mind. Meanwhile, you knew full well that the gardener could be putting the trash in your can but you still put the box in there. You should have let the gardener know ahead of time that he couldn't use the can this time.
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Old 12-08-15, 03:36 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Originally Posted by Mabuse View Post
When I'm done putting it together I hide it in a corner of the garage inside an even bigger plain brown box and I cover the whole thing with a painters tarp. (You gotta hide these things from the kids so it will be a surprise, right.)
You should have broken that box down flat. Takes up way too much space anyways just throwing it in the trash.

And something big covered underneath a tarp? Your kids would have probably discovered it soon enough. They have a nose for finding hidden presents.
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Old 12-08-15, 03:37 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Call immigration. If the guys not an immigrant or if he's not illegal, tell them he's a Muslim.
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Old 12-08-15, 03:37 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

So I'm guessing the only reason you didn't yell at anyone is because the gardener was already gone?
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Old 12-08-15, 03:39 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Stop with the shilling, thread of the year belongs to EddieMoney.
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Old 12-08-15, 03:40 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Absolutely terrifying that this dude has offspring.
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Old 12-08-15, 03:47 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

You are a very grouchy person.
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Old 12-08-15, 03:51 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Originally Posted by Goat3001 View Post
This is your fault. You've let the gardener use the can before and didn't have an issue with it. Gardener had no idea what's in your trash can or that you're trying to hide something from your kids before putting the clippings in there. He can't read your mind. Meanwhile, you knew full well that the gardener could be putting the trash in your can but you still put the box in there. You should have let the gardener know ahead of time that he couldn't use the can this time.
The issue is, it sounds like the gardener took the box out, put the yard trimmings in, then put the box back on top. If the box was not broken down, the gardener should have just put the trimmings on top of the trash, and if it didn't fit then too bad, wait till next week.
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Old 12-08-15, 03:51 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Originally Posted by Goat3001 View Post
This is your fault. You've let the gardener use the can before and didn't have an issue with it. Gardener had no idea what's in your trash can or that you're trying to hide something from your kids before putting the clippings in there. He can't read your mind. Meanwhile, you knew full well that the gardener could be putting the trash in your can but you still put the box in there. You should have let the gardener know ahead of time that he couldn't use the can this time.
Yep, I was with Mabuse on this one until he said he lets the gardener use the trash cans. A little foresight could have prevented this near disaster.
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Old 12-08-15, 03:52 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Cardboard should have gone in the recycling, not the trash, so this is your fault.
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Old 12-08-15, 03:57 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

That's what I was thinking, you live in California & don't recycle?
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Old 12-08-15, 04:01 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Is the gardener a local?
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Old 12-08-15, 04:05 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

I skimmed it, tell me if this is right ... Mabuse and his neighbor are both sleeping with the gardner?

Blah, blah, blah, neighbor lady, huge box, gardner, dick stuffing, blah, blah, gardner uses my cans, blah, blah, covered my tracks ...
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Old 12-08-15, 04:10 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Why is the gardener working overnight?
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Old 12-08-15, 04:13 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

This is the gardeners fault. He should have known Mabuse was hiding an empty box that once contained a Christmas toy only moments before.

Seriously though. I know it was late and all but maybe you should have torn the box down and recycled it.
Doesn't everybody have the full size Blue recycle bins these days?
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Old 12-08-15, 04:18 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Originally Posted by VHS? View Post
This is the gardeners fault. He should have known Mabuse was hiding an empty box that once contained a Christmas toy only moments before.
That is information only a local could have known. Clearly, the gardener is at fault, for not being local (and, possibly, for being Mexican..or, maybe, Vietnamese).
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Old 12-08-15, 04:20 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Damn it, I wish this was posted on Jan. 1st for TotY nomination.
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Old 12-08-15, 04:20 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Originally Posted by Goat3001 View Post
This is your fault. You've let the gardener use the can before and didn't have an issue with it. Gardener had no idea what's in your trash can or that you're trying to hide something from your kids before putting the clippings in there. He can't read your mind. Meanwhile, you knew full well that the gardener could be putting the trash in your can but you still put the box in there. You should have let the gardener know ahead of time that he couldn't use the can this time.
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Old 12-08-15, 04:32 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Arnie logged back in?
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Old 12-08-15, 04:44 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Originally Posted by Goat3001 View Post
This is your fault. You've let the gardener use the can before and didn't have an issue with it. Gardener had no idea what's in your trash can or that you're trying to hide something from your kids before putting the clippings in there. He can't read your mind. Meanwhile, you knew full well that the gardener could be putting the trash in your can but you still put the box in there. You should have let the gardener know ahead of time that he couldn't use the can this time.
Victim blaming. Shame on you and the 3000 goats before you!
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Old 12-08-15, 05:12 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Originally Posted by Mr. Salty View Post
Cardboard should have gone in the recycling, not the trash, so this is your fault.
Assuming he has recylcling. Many areas don't.
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Old 12-08-15, 05:24 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

I would have broken down the box and reversed it so only the blank cardboard on the inside was visible and tied it all up, just to be sure.
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Old 12-08-15, 05:50 PM
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Re: I hate my neighbor's gardener (a Mabuse micro-rant)

Revenge. The gardener is related to the truck driver you yelled at.
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