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Are you happy with your life?

Old 12-12-15, 09:41 AM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Sorry for your loss, Hokey. Saying goodbye to a pet sucks so much.
Old 12-12-15, 09:49 AM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by Hokeyboy View Post
There I was, so happy with my life.

Tonight, at 9:10 PM EST, I had to send my little baby girl to heaven. I have no biological children, but Austen was with me since August 1997.

My baby girl. Daddy fucking loves you

Deepest condolences on losing your kitty. My feline pal Simba was almost 18 when he passed in December of 2013. No easy way to go through that.
Old 12-12-15, 09:56 AM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Sorry to hear about your kitty. Cats are the best.
Old 12-12-15, 12:35 PM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

I'm about 50/50 in my life. I pursued my dream and (mostly) failed at it. I moved to LA to be a screenwriter. For years I clawed my way into the industry. I was just never in the right place at the right time. I managed to option several scripts and sell 2 in that time, but making $75K in 10 years is not a success story. As I creeped toward my 40s, I decided to move back east where I grew up and get into something else. I just wanted stability. I envisioned myself being a 50 year old bitter asshole still trying to sell scripts and resenting and hating myself. I walked away before I could become that guy.

I'm still making okay money ghostwriting for straight to cable movies, but those offers are dwindling since I'm no longer with a studio. And that's fine... I expected them to dry up once I left. I never wanted to make a career writing things that others would get credit for.

I started working in a restaurant again a year or so ago, something I had hoped to never do again, having done it for over a decade previously. I just wanted to be able to save some more money. I don't hate the work, it's just that being a nearly 40 year old waiter is not a life goal I set for myself. Now I'm attempting to look for an agency copywriting job here in town. I'm qualified to do it, it's just a matter of getting a foot in the door since I don't know anyone in advertising.

The good part is that I just got married to a girl I've been seeing off and on for 16 years. I know some wouldn't consider marriage a plus, but for me it was just like finally deciding to marry my best friend. We're shopping for a house. It will be our first. No kids, don't want them.

I don't have any debt or health problems, so I guess I'm happy with everything except my job.
Old 12-12-15, 02:16 PM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Thanks for the condolences guys. Having a rough day, but letting her go was the right decision to make.
Old 12-13-15, 09:33 AM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by Living Dead View Post
I'm about 50/50 in my life. I pursued my dream and (mostly) failed at it. I moved to LA to be a screenwriter. For years I clawed my way into the industry. I was just never in the right place at the right time. I managed to option several scripts and sell 2 in that time, but making $75K in 10 years is not a success story. As I creeped toward my 40s, I decided to move back east where I grew up and get into something else. I just wanted stability. I envisioned myself being a 50 year old bitter asshole still trying to sell scripts and resenting and hating myself. I walked away before I could become that guy.

I'm still making okay money ghostwriting for straight to cable movies, but those offers are dwindling since I'm no longer with a studio. And that's fine... I expected them to dry up once I left. I never wanted to make a career writing things that others would get credit for.

I started working in a restaurant again a year or so ago, something I had hoped to never do again, having done it for over a decade previously. I just wanted to be able to save some more money. I don't hate the work, it's just that being a nearly 40 year old waiter is not a life goal I set for myself. Now I'm attempting to look for an agency copywriting job here in town. I'm qualified to do it, it's just a matter of getting a foot in the door since I don't know anyone in advertising.

The good part is that I just got married to a girl I've been seeing off and on for 16 years. I know some wouldn't consider marriage a plus, but for me it was just like finally deciding to marry my best friend. We're shopping for a house. It will be our first. No kids, don't want them.

I don't have any debt or health problems, so I guess I'm happy with everything except my job.

That was sort of me but I was in Special Effects Make-Up design. Unless you're hooked up with "friends" or people that can get you in then there really is no money to be made in that field. People already work with the people they want and it's mainly filled with nerds that couldn't get laid if their life depended on it. Now if a hot chick walked in and said she "wanted to do creature make-ups" then these nerds will be all like yeah welcome aboard and never mind that you don't know how to make molds - you're hot, so it doesn't matter.

Good thing I never left my regular career gig otherwise I don't know where I'd be. there was a time that I was really bitter about the field, so I got out early enough that I can still watch a great creature fx driven movie and not want to vomit. For a while, I didn't care to see anything related to traditional fx-driven films, because I wasn't where I wanted to be in the fx field. My biggest regret is paying money to go to school to learn the fx craft. Granted, it was about 2 years, or so, before MySpace and social media, etc. If I had known that social media would be huge I would have volunteered for free at some shop and have gotten a free education. Now when people ask me what school they should go to for that I tell them don't bother, because it's a waste of money. Go on Facebook and volunteer at a shop/group somewhere and get a free education that way.

/rant
Old 12-13-15, 11:37 AM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by Lt Ripley View Post
Just make sure the "goals" you set are not goals you think society says you should aim for. A simple life is not a bad thing.

You tried talking to a pro about your feelings?
No. And I don't care to do so really. I already know what my issues are. I don't see how paying someone to hear them could help. Again... I do a lot of things that would make a lot of people happy. But... I'm not seeing as to wtf my calling is. As BS as that is. Not really finding anything to get my attention or to add a value to the presence that I am as an existence either. I have an easy life to what it appears and it's a first world problem cuz it's a lot better than (stereotypical problem) being a kid born w/ AIDS in Africa. But still... still not sure wtf I need to do.

Originally Posted by rbrown498 View Post
One of my favorite quotes from my favorite book (Illusions by Richard Bach) goes, "There is no problem so big that it cannot be run away from." Here are a few pointers:

1. Until you come to terms with it, your past will follow you wherever you go. From my experience, there are only two ways to deal with one's past--either accept it, warts and all, and try to correct the mistakes that have been made, or decide that, from this point forward, the past will be completely ignored, if not totally forgotten. Either course of action will be difficult, but for every one of us, one path is always a little harder than the other. Either way, though, the past is called the past because IT. IS. NOT. THE. PRESENT. If it can inform your current decisions, then let it, but don't allow it make your decisions for you.

I already know that my past is my past but, an example, visiting my mother alone is present enough of my past. She's getting older. She's 61 but these last 3 years? I've seen her morph rapidly to a physical state that makes me very nervous to her health. She says she's fine, and from what my sisters says.... she is. But... I dunno. I'm kind of waiting for her clock to end and see wtf happens right there. Add in that my hometown is just a soul sucker. I go there. My home was taken, I have no home to call home when I'm there, my mom is in her shitty situation, my Dad is dead, etc. One of my best friends' wife is pretty much my twin apparently cuz has the same sarcastic vulgar attitude.. she's suggested maybe me coming back home to figure things out. And I have thought about that. They've a little girl who I'm like the crazy uncle to. And I do love to be around her but... that city, man. There's nothing there for me if I'm not around someone. And I can only be around someone for so long before that gets to me. People got to live their lives and I'd feel like a burden cuz I'm awkward about being around for too long. I dunno.


2. Every time you wake up in the morning, you have the opportunity to hit the "reset" button on your life. You don’t have to move to another country to start your life over. It can be done tomorrow, from your bed, if you want to do it. You just have to make up your mind to do it and follow through on it. If you decide not to, it may be because whining is easier and, deep down inside, you probably enjoy it…because if you didn’t enjoy it, you wouldn’t do it, right?

To what though? That's the thing. I can start over wherever I want. I'm in a position to where I can do that and It'd be great for somebody else but... otherwise it'd just be me wasting my time. Wasting my time of... wasting time. Ironic. I just need to find wtf I can give a damn about.


3. I actually DID run away and start over…well, not entirely, as I still kept in contact with friends and family, but I moved to Taiwan without knowing anyone who lived there. Fifteen years ago, I needed, as you appear to need, something to shake up my existence. I had been divorced for three years and had no goals, no interest in anything, really…I was just surviving. Then, through a set of circumstances too involved to get into here, I decided to take a job teaching English in Taiwan. I hedged my bets a little and, instead of quitting my job, took a year-long leave of absence from work and flew to Taiwan. (It was also my first time on an airplane AND my first time to go outside North America.) It turned out to be the best experience of my life, and I ended up staying in Asia a total of two-and-a-half years. It also directly led to my enrolling in a Ph.D. program when I came home to the States, giving me another goal to work toward.



And your lack of goals rears its head. Find some things that you’d like to do and start working on them. If there’s absolutely nothing that you want to do, look online for what other people are doing. Learn to play an(other) instrument. Visit every country in South America. Read the complete works of Shakespeare. Learn to cook. Go rock-climbing in Wyoming. Take ballroom dancing lessons. Your goals don’t have to be life-changing, but the very act of completing them will start to change your life. Another thing that I’ve noticed is that completing one goal will lead you to set another, then another, and, without even realizing it, you’ve suddenly got a much more fulfilling life than the one you started with.

This is the ironic part. I do. I do do a lot of things that would make a lot of people happy. I read a lot. I watch a lot of movies. I play games. I'm athletic as fuck. I fuck around a lot. Etc. It's a life that would make many jealous. And it is a good life but one w/o depth to it aside for how far my dick can go into some pussy.

I don’t know how much education you’ve got, SS, but it can never hurt to tack on more. Twenty-nine is a great age to go to school, either for the first time or for additional degrees. If you’ve never gone, the core courses in your undergraduate curriculum will allow you to dabble in a lot of areas that you may find interest you. If you’ve got a bachelor’s degree, you can tack on a master’s in 1-3 years in practically any field in which you might be interested. My BA is in communication (specifically, public relations), but when I decided to go back to school, I wound up getting my master’s degree in English…and my Ph.D. will be in instructional technology. As I’ve obviously shown, you don’t have to have an overarching plan. You just need to find one or two goals that you’re willing to work for, and everything else will begin to fall into place.

I have a bachelor's in Radio, TV, and Film. I say I went to film school cuz it's just easier to type than Radio, TV, and Film. My emphasis is film. And I have done some stuff in it. But I work in TV...an hispanic TV station. So... beautiful pussy all around and I have my fill. Which is great... and one of the reasons I stay.. but still. I do like to learn. It's the one thing I've always loved. Being in a school setting. I just like learning in a class. I've thought about getting certified to teach. But... I dunno. Working for TV and getting laid is nice. I don't know how you white people TV stations do it... but it's a goddamn miracle we aren't running around w/ STDs with the amount of fucking at our station. Nobody bring a blue light to our station. It'd fucking blind you.

Snake, you may NEVER figure it all out. And that’s okay. What’s NOT okay is being miserable. The thing is, you’ve got to want to let go of your misery enough to actually make you do something tangible about it. Many people have a crippling fear of success, so much so that they’d rather stay miserable than risk being successful. I don’t see that as your problem, however. What I’m taking away from your situation is that too much was put on you at too early an age, before you had the life experiences and maturity level to be able to cope with those stresses sufficiently. Because of that, you have a lingering resentment at the world for being so unfair to you, and your way of getting back at the world is to wrap yourself in your misery and refuse to let go of it. It seems, though, that maybe you’re beginning to rethink your strategy, and I applaud you for it. I agree with Matto above--my 20s were my least favorite decade of life as well. Things WILL get better for you, but you’ve got to be willing to come to terms with your past in some way and to take an active part in forging your future.

Yeah. Slowly trying to... try to see what I can do to "change" it up.
Originally Posted by fumanstan View Post
Most of this post was about the past and your family and while I see why that kind of burden stays with you, what are you actually doing now? I remember you talking about being in film school years back and I might be mis-remembering you taking a break from it, is that still a thing for you? Or are you just working? If so, what are you doing? The past will always be there, but i'm more curious what you occupy your life with now if you're feeling depressed or unfulfilled with life.

Me personally, i'm really happy with life. Engaged, getting married next year, and I feel like my fiancee and I are in a great place after going through a lot of downs the last few years prior. That included relationship difficulties, leaving my company for a startup that failed, dealing with unemployment, taking a new job that I hated, before finally returning to my previous company and finding professional happiness again. I changed positions at work which included a large enough raise where money is less of a concern then it has been in recent years, and while work is more stressful and scary it's a new challenge for me and somewhat exciting from that perspective.

It helps that I'm happy with the little things, enjoying my time with my 2 dogs, playing basketball, playing video games, watching movies, and just planning a future.
Working in TV and getting Latina pussy. That's pretty much my job. And it's a good job.. but I'm about burnt out in doing that. I do it cuz it takes my time and all that jazz but it's just me wasting time cuz I don't know wtf to do w/ my time to make worth a damn.

My activities are working out, fucking girls, being at home and doing home stuff, watching movies, reading books, only internet stuff I really do is this place... jesus.. that's sad, play video games, working my jobs.. one is TV and the other small side job is Warehouse distribution, and... every once in a while hang out w/ someone. Which the latter is rare. Sprinkled throughout the year... I do races where I just run through a normal boring race or an endurance race w/ obstacles. I do the Dallas marathon every year. It's a great place to meet pussy. Races... man. Adrenaline is high and people get horny. Still... I do it to waste time. Irony. I've a good life to establish but... bored still.

Originally Posted by Troy Stiffler View Post
Here's something else that keeps me stable... Don't drink or do drugs (or whatever). Make sure you're getting good nutrition. And good sleep (you should never been too tired for more than a few days). It keeps you regulated, and keeps your body from freaking out and making the wrong decision. When you have a problem in front of you, you can think clearly and make the decision you want to make. When your chemicals are all screwed up, you're more inclined to make emotional knee-jerk decisions.

Think your way through things. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night, with a specific idea in my head. For some reason (I think it's a chemical thing), things I do can feel so strange in the middle of the night. I'm sure there's some term for it.

Anyways... you guys now know way too much about me.
Ironically... all the bad that has happened to me in my life has been stuff thrust upon by the weird ass circumstances. I hit a dog this past Thursday. Great. I don't need more bad shit. I really wish I could do bad all by myself. Apparently... bad just comes to me.

I'm too cheap for drugs... yet I do buy many BDs and games. So... buying drugs would probably be cheaper... if not my more risky towards careers and such. Ha.

Originally Posted by brayzie View Post
Not too happy, but once in a blue moon there is something that makes me happy.

So if you try not to think about it and just stay busy with it, how do you deal with it?
I understand it's not healthy to dwell on things but when you can't express what your going through it's hard to overcome it, let alone deal with it.

I just don't. I bombard myself w/ activities that I like cuz I wouldn't do it if I didn't but my fill has been had and it is all over the floor. heh. I don't see how expressing myself can change things. My sister and I have argued about this. She knows I'm not happy. But... if it's just me all the time... who else do I express myself too? I can do that here but I'm still in a phase where I need find something worth a damn.

You don't want to be connected to you friends even? Because they remind you of the past or because of something else.

I love being around my friends but I'm also very much a lone wolf type. My survival has put me to where I don't really need contact w/ anyone for a very long time and I'm fine. It's a wonderful thing but again... I don't need to be around them. Either.

There's a phrase one philosopher said like, "why fear death, when we had no fear prior to our own existence." Something like that. And some people don't who don't want to go on merely want to go back to before they were born, and simply not be. However, I doubt it's like that. We all feel like that at some point, up until dying becomes a real thing. Then when it seems like life is about to be robbed from you, even though you didn't care for it before, you suddenly want to be able to enjoy the day for what it is, having the opportunity to enjoy the sun, or sit inside warm while watching it rain outside.



The sounds similar to me growing up. But I didn't want to constantly struggle. Not necessarily not work hard, but not have to constantly being distressed, worried, unhappy, etc. I was that way not having high aspirations or opportunities. When I began shooting for bigger things and making those opportunities happen I was still distressed, worried, and unhappy. I would see others enjoying life while I'm wearing myself down to survive or to do what what I thought would bring my life significance or make me happy.




You have no purpose, you don't want anything in particular out of life?

Not sure. I've focused on survival for so long that survival is just what I am. Realistically... I'd be cool w/ a family and all that BS. And I've met many a girl who would give me that if I asked but...no one really to fancy me in the long term. Though many of them would be a great pairing for me stereotypically. I've had 4 serious girlfriends. Just... it fizzles out for me at some point. I like to be around women more than men cuz... I dunno. I can be more cheeky and dangerous w/ women. And I do like attention from women but... eh. I don't hang around many men just cuz many of the men I do respect aren't around my region or available to be around for when it would fit my scheduling... for those that are in my region. I'm sure I'd be a great dad and all that jazz but it's not something that is a need. It's a want. Unfortunately... I've got my needs down to an extreme. And many wants... I just haven't found the wants to really please me.


The military doesn't sound like a good environment for someone that feels this way.

I think I just want to join to get some experience I could never get out of that field. Something to put on the line, if anything. Supposedly I'm overqualified in every form from what my military friends say. And they haven't pegged as to whether I'd like it but they say I'd be overqualified for it even if I was in it. That I'd supposedly be too good at my job. There's some joking in that but at the same time... they may be right. Is that a waste of my time? Dunno.

Anyway, you mentioned about just surviving. That's how it feels like to me too, when I feel it should be more than that. But maybe that's what life really is at some level. For us to survive physically and mentally.
Originally Posted by Dan View Post
That's some heavy shit, Snake.
I can't offer any advice, but damn.

As for me, I'm 33 and under-educated. Working in oil & gas (for now), with a big daunting move in the next two months. If I could have done shit differently in my 20's, I would have.
My wife and kid keep me happy, so there's that.
But career-wise, I need to figure myself out and make a plan.
I'd seriously like to be working in Oil and gas. That work environment does attract me. Something very active. I've applied for even entry level stuff.... no dice.

Originally Posted by Why So Blu? View Post
Can't really say too much to what has already been said. I am also much older than you but it is hard when a parent dies and you have to take the reigns. I'm the oldest and only son and seems at times that my two younger sisters are more successful than me. Granted, I make really good money for what I do and the time that it takes doing it but it's nothing fancy - although it is fulfilling.

One good thing that I can say that came from my dad's passing in 2013 is that it cemented the family bonds. I guess it was the year leading up to his death where we all came together as one to help him. We basically all became caregivers and it sure as hell was a major inconvenience but our own selfishness and feelings had to be set aside for him, because he was the one that was sick. I hate to think that if we had bailed we'd all be wrecks right now. I think we came out of it much stronger and much more decent people.

Personally, my goals, which seem unattainable is to make money without leaving the house. Whether that says I have depression or not, I don't know. But that would be awesome. I will be leaving L.A. in the next 2-3 years and if I don't have the money saved up to live on I will pull a hail mary and cash out my retirement plan and just buy a place with the money. I'm fortunate that I have a pension and possible social security if I make it to my mid-60's but I think having a fully paid off home trumps the early withdrawal penalties.

In any event, Snake - I would suggest you find things that you actually like and immerse yourself in them. Bang more white girls? You're an athlete, too, right? Continue to cultivate that. Granted, if you're having suicidal thoughts then it's best you seek council. Any day above ground is a good day.
I've fucked enough women and their sexholes to the point where it's just another day. Again... I have a life to envy but... just no real depth to it. First world problems. ha. I've a good life on paper. Just the little details don't add much for me.

Note: I fuck pretty much just to make a girl happy. It's not even about me. It's weird. I don't even care if I come or not. As long as she's pretty... I want to fuck her and see what happens. All about the customer service when it comes to me.

Originally Posted by Screwadu View Post
But the Southern girls, with the way they talk, keep their boyfriends warm at night.
yes, girls in the South... they love to fuck. Stupid or not... the sex drive is there. Unfortunately... personalities are very fucking iffy.

Originally Posted by printerati View Post
Yeah, that won't help Tracer.
Is he bloke that likes to be poked?

Originally Posted by d2cheer View Post
Joining the National Guard at 25 probably saved me from a miserable life it gave me the much needed discipline that I needed and kick in the ass to do something with my life. The only regret I have is not staying in full time. I would be retired...

Snake the military is not for everyone but it really can help you find yourself.
That's what I think. I just don't know if I want to put in however many years it is for whatever branch I'm appropriate for.

Originally Posted by JasonF View Post
Hey, Snake -- not sure if you saw it or remember it, but I want to point you to the thread I posted last year when I was going through something similar:

http://forum.dvdtalk.com/other-talk/...epression.html

There was lots of good advice and discussion in that thread.

I would strongly recommend therapy -- it can really help to talk to someone who is both impartial and trained in dealing with shit like this.

For me, another thing that helped was learning to be what the Buddhists call "mindful" -- basically (and I'm sure a practicing Buddhist would find this definition wrong, but it works for me) learning to appreciate the moment and not get hung up on preconceptions of what I want the moment to be. That allowed me to find happiness because I stopped worrying about what my life "should be" and started figuring out how to appreciate what my life actually is.

Feel free to shoot me a PM if you want to talk.
I'll check it out. I'm not sure I'm really depressed. If I am, fine. No big deal. I'm just bored w/ so much really. So that diagnosis is just... bleh. Ha.

Originally Posted by Artman View Post
Thanks for sharing SS.

Just turned 36, and I do have a lot to be thankful for - health, family close by, work that I truly enjoy, a few true friends - that's all you can ask for right? But I'm still pretty lonely...never actually have had a girlfriend, never taken anyone over to my parents for dinner or the holidays. I feel like a disappointment, at least in that category. I know I'd be a good husband and father... but for some reason I just haven't found anyone that felt the same yet.

I'm happy for my married friends.. but the reality is we don't get together very often. I've become a regular at the bars across the street. I don't want to be that guy...
Same here to a point. I'd be a good dad and all that shit. Just... haven't found the women to really want to jump into all that for. Not going to freak If it doesn't happen though.

Originally Posted by Ash Ketchum View Post
I'm just curious as to what your obligations to your mother are. Does she need you there? Are you doing anything for her that your sister can't do? If so, just deal with it until the day comes when your obligations are over. It may not be fair, but it's the hand that was dealt to you, so you've gotta play it. It won't help you to complain about it, to resent it, to be bitter about it. Perfectly natural to feel all those things, but it gets in the way of clearing out your head to prepare for the next move, whatever that is.

If the answer is no to my three initial questions, then maybe it's time to move on, start fresh somewhere. Just try not to have too many possessions. Maybe the military's not a bad idea. It'll give you some structure and some training and you'll get a sense of who you are in relation to a wide range of other kinds of people. Or some kind of job in the helping professions where you have to work with people who are much worse off than you. And where they come to rely on you.

The other option is to go back to school. You're a smart guy, Solid Snake, and taking classes will: 1) make you smarter; and 2) give some structure to your search for knowledge. You should also learn how to write better. You have a lot of important things to say, but you need to learn how to express them better.
My obligations? Well... taking care of her financially. Keeping her alive. I give some of my money to her for necessities. She changed a lot after my father past to where her self esteem just was just murdered and beaten to the point where just staying alive is enough for her. My mother has no job skills aside from parenting. She's getting so much older everytime I see her and... this may be me, but I think she MAY... just MAY be edging alzheimer's and I'm not sure how comfortable I am w/ that. Maybe it's just old age but... the way she acts, the small differences, makes me fear what may come.

I do take classes when I can. I don't need to... but I do.

Eh. It's a rant. I can only self edit so much when I typed so much in a stream of consciousness. I only type the way I type here cuz there's no need for some gran level of professionalism as in my work.

Admittingly... I should probably sleep more because I have worried about how tired I am with all my activities and then while my activities are going find and dandy. My typing skills? I'm finding more and more typos than before... which while I do like to do stream of conscious posts. Just quick bs. I have been missing more words than before. Which does worry me. Which I'm attributing to how tired I am. Or maybe I just got lazier typing? *shrugs shoulders* Hey... at least i'm not prematurely ejaculating during sex. So... I've got that going for me.

Originally Posted by Ash Ketchum View Post
Why do you say that? Solid Snake could be a very good writer if he just paid attention to grammar, spelling, syntax, punctuation, etc. A course in writing with a good teacher would be helpful to him, even at the age of 29. It's frustrating reading his posts sometimes because no one ever taught him how to express his thoughts on paper in a structured way. And they're thoughts that are worth expressing well. He's a good thinker and he just needs to be a good writer as well. Unless you have far less hope for him than I do.
I'm a really good writer when I want to be. Just depends on the focus. Amazingly enough... when I'm really fucking serious about films... I don't curse a lot... but I do like to put in those words for humor. And... well...it's my thing?

Originally Posted by fumanstan View Post
I wonder if Snake is going to reply to some of the other feedback here.
I finally did it. Now I need to take a poop.

Last edited by Solid Snake; 12-13-15 at 04:50 PM.
Old 12-13-15, 03:02 PM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

I've fucked enough women and their sexholes to the point where it's just another day. Again... I have a life to envy but... just no real depth to it. First world problems. ha. I've a good life on paper. Just the little details don't add much for me.

Note: I fuck pretty much just to make a girl happy. It's not even about me. It's weird. I don't even care if I come or not. As long as she's pretty... I want to fuck her and see what happens. All about the customer service when it comes to me.
So what do you think you can do to fix and work on those little details? That's what has to get worked on.
Old 12-13-15, 05:43 PM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by Living Dead View Post
I'm about 50/50 in my life. I pursued my dream and (mostly) failed at it. I moved to LA to be a screenwriter. For years I clawed my way into the industry. I was just never in the right place at the right time. I managed to option several scripts and sell 2 in that time, but making $75K in 10 years is not a success story. As I creeped toward my 40s, I decided to move back east where I grew up and get into something else. I just wanted stability. I envisioned myself being a 50 year old bitter asshole still trying to sell scripts and resenting and hating myself. I walked away before I could become that guy.

I'm still making okay money ghostwriting for straight to cable movies, but those offers are dwindling since I'm no longer with a studio. And that's fine... I expected them to dry up once I left. I never wanted to make a career writing things that others would get credit for.

I started working in a restaurant again a year or so ago, something I had hoped to never do again, having done it for over a decade previously. I just wanted to be able to save some more money. I don't hate the work, it's just that being a nearly 40 year old waiter is not a life goal I set for myself. Now I'm attempting to look for an agency copywriting job here in town. I'm qualified to do it, it's just a matter of getting a foot in the door since I don't know anyone in advertising.

The good part is that I just got married to a girl I've been seeing off and on for 16 years. I know some wouldn't consider marriage a plus, but for me it was just like finally deciding to marry my best friend. We're shopping for a house. It will be our first. No kids, don't want them.

I don't have any debt or health problems, so I guess I'm happy with everything except my job.

Sorry to hear the entertainment career didn't work out. What did you do for income when you weren't writing?

You said you went to LA to be a screenwriter, but did you ever consider being a television writer and being part of a TV show's writer's room. It seems like there would be more opportunities for writers in that avenue than trying to make a name for yourself as a solo feature writer. Especially with shows and pilots coming non-stop every Fall, Spring and Summer. If you would have gotten hooked up with the right showrunner, it could have been more steady employment.
Old 12-13-15, 06:54 PM
  #135  
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by Solid Snake View Post
No. And I don't care to do so really. I already know what my issues are. I don't see how paying someone to hear them could help. Again... I do a lot of things that would make a lot of people happy. But... I'm not seeing as to wtf my calling is. As BS as that is. Not really finding anything to get my attention or to add a value to the presence that I am as an existence either. I have an easy life to what it appears and it's a first world problem cuz it's a lot better than (stereotypical problem) being a kid born w/ AIDS in Africa. But still... still not sure wtf I need to do.





Working in TV and getting Latina pussy. That's pretty much my job. And it's a good job.. but I'm about burnt out in doing that. I do it cuz it takes my time and all that jazz but it's just me wasting time cuz I don't know wtf to do w/ my time to make worth a damn.

My activities are working out, fucking girls, being at home and doing home stuff, watching movies, reading books, only internet stuff I really do is this place... jesus.. that's sad, play video games, working my jobs.. one is TV and the other small side job is Warehouse distribution, and... every once in a while hang out w/ someone. Which the latter is rare. Sprinkled throughout the year... I do races where I just run through a normal boring race or an endurance race w/ obstacles. I do the Dallas marathon every year. It's a great place to meet pussy. Races... man. Adrenaline is high and people get horny. Still... I do it to waste time. Irony. I've a good life to establish but... bored still.



Ironically... all the bad that has happened to me in my life has been stuff thrust upon by the weird ass circumstances. I hit a dog this past Thursday. Great. I don't need more bad shit. I really wish I could do bad all by myself. Apparently... bad just comes to me.

I'm too cheap for drugs... yet I do buy many BDs and games. So... buying drugs would probably be cheaper... if not my more risky towards careers and such. Ha.





I'd seriously like to be working in Oil and gas. That work environment does attract me. Something very active. I've applied for even entry level stuff.... no dice.



I've fucked enough women and their sexholes to the point where it's just another day. Again... I have a life to envy but... just no real depth to it. First world problems. ha. I've a good life on paper. Just the little details don't add much for me.

Note: I fuck pretty much just to make a girl happy. It's not even about me. It's weird. I don't even care if I come or not. As long as she's pretty... I want to fuck her and see what happens. All about the customer service when it comes to me.



yes, girls in the South... they love to fuck. Stupid or not... the sex drive is there. Unfortunately... personalities are very fucking iffy.



Is he bloke that likes to be poked?



That's what I think. I just don't know if I want to put in however many years it is for whatever branch I'm appropriate for.



I'll check it out. I'm not sure I'm really depressed. If I am, fine. No big deal. I'm just bored w/ so much really. So that diagnosis is just... bleh. Ha.



Same here to a point. I'd be a good dad and all that shit. Just... haven't found the women to really want to jump into all that for. Not going to freak If it doesn't happen though.



My obligations? Well... taking care of her financially. Keeping her alive. I give some of my money to her for necessities. She changed a lot after my father past to where her self esteem just was just murdered and beaten to the point where just staying alive is enough for her. My mother has no job skills aside from parenting. She's getting so much older everytime I see her and... this may be me, but I think she MAY... just MAY be edging alzheimer's and I'm not sure how comfortable I am w/ that. Maybe it's just old age but... the way she acts, the small differences, makes me fear what may come.

I do take classes when I can. I don't need to... but I do.

Eh. It's a rant. I can only self edit so much when I typed so much in a stream of consciousness. I only type the way I type here cuz there's no need for some gran level of professionalism as in my work.

Admittingly... I should probably sleep more because I have worried about how tired I am with all my activities and then while my activities are going find and dandy. My typing skills? I'm finding more and more typos than before... which while I do like to do stream of conscious posts. Just quick bs. I have been missing more words than before. Which does worry me. Which I'm attributing to how tired I am. Or maybe I just got lazier typing? *shrugs shoulders* Hey... at least i'm not prematurely ejaculating during sex. So... I've got that going for me.



I'm a really good writer when I want to be. Just depends on the focus. Amazingly enough... when I'm really fucking serious about films... I don't curse a lot... but I do like to put in those words for humor. And... well...it's my thing?



I finally did it. Now I need to take a poop.


The fuck?
Old 12-13-15, 06:57 PM
  #136  
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by Kurtie Dee View Post
The fuck?
You've just been snaked solid.
Old 12-13-15, 07:59 PM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by van der graaf View Post
You've just been snaked solid.
Old 12-13-15, 08:03 PM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by Solid Snake View Post
I'm a really good writer when I want to be. Just depends on the focus. Amazingly enough... when I'm really fucking serious about films... I don't curse a lot... but I do like to put in those words for humor. And... well...it's my thing?
Anyone else not believe this?
Old 12-13-15, 08:06 PM
  #139  
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by fumanstan View Post
Anyone else not believe this?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/ar...new-study.html

People who are experts at swearing have BIGGER vocabularies than clean-tongued folk says new study
•Swearing does not mean the talker is lazy or uneducated, study found
•Those who are more confident using taboo words are more articulate
•Participants in study said as many swear words as possible in 60 seconds
•Co-authors said the findings undermined our 'normal' view of swearing
Old 12-13-15, 08:21 PM
  #140  
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Fuck that shit!
Old 12-13-15, 09:50 PM
  #141  
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by DJariya View Post
Sorry to hear the entertainment career didn't work out. What did you do for income when you weren't writing?
75% restaurant work, 25% graphic design. Occasional copywriting gigs for various places around the city.

Originally Posted by DJariya View Post
You said you went to LA to be a screenwriter, but did you ever consider being a television writer and being part of a TV show's writer's room. It seems like there would be more opportunities for writers in that avenue than trying to make a name for yourself as a solo feature writer. Especially with shows and pilots coming non-stop every Fall, Spring and Summer. If you would have gotten hooked up with the right showrunner, it could have been more steady employment.
Yeah, I didn't know what the hell I was doing when I first got there, but I eventually tried TV. I could never really get in. The closest I came was working briefly on the final season of Eureka on Syfy. I happened to be a fan of the show and I met the showrunner completely by chance. I gave him some writing samples and he brought me in. Then the show was cancelled unexpectedly in 2012 and my very minimal experience didn't land me anything else. I tried for over a year.

By that time I was pretty much on the verge of giving up anyway. As I'm sure you probably know, it's just an industry where you have to be lucky enough to get to know the right people or be a gigantic ass kisser in order to get anywhere. I learned I'm not very good at either of those things. It's possible that I could have stayed and been successful eventually. It's also possible that I could have become a bitter old man with nothing to show for decades of work. I decided I didn't want to take that chance anymore, so I left.

It's actually a relief to not have to worry about constant rejection and insincere brown-nosing anymore. And what I'm trying to do now is not based simply on luck or who I meet. I feel much more in control than I have in a long while.
Old 12-13-15, 09:55 PM
  #142  
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by Hiro11 View Post
Pros: Married 18 years to a woman that remarkably seems to be able to put up with me, two teenaged kids who don't hate me (yet), no one has chronic health problems. I can run a 10k in less than 40 minutes. I have a good job that I enjoy and I'm almost finished with a very challenging degree that my employer is paying for at a ridiculously expensive grad school. My parents still alive, financially comfortable and healthy. My wife and I are 8 years from owning our house outright.
Wow great time. I can do 5K in 22min. Want to get that down to 19-20min.
Old 12-14-15, 09:57 AM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by fumanstan View Post
Anyone else not believe this?
I believe that the cursing is oftentimes the most coherent thing about Snake's posts.

In all seriousness though Snake, I know you say that paying someone to listen to you seems pointless, but in the same breath you also say that on paper your life should be great but that you get no enjoyment out of it. That's a pretty big component of depression right there. Even if it's not depression, sometimes it can be good to talk through things with someone even if you think you understand it all already.

The other suggestion I would make is to maybe try volunteer work or something. You'd be amazed at how much value there is in investing in other people. And no, having sex with girls and not caring whether or not you come doesn't count.
Old 12-14-15, 10:09 AM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by rocket1312 View Post
In all seriousness though Snake, I know you say that paying someone to listen to you seems pointless, but in the same breath you also say that on paper your life should be great but that you get no enjoyment out of it. That's a pretty big component of depression right there. Even if it's not depression, sometimes it can be good to talk through things with someone even if you think you understand it all already.
I was trying to figure out how to say this, but you said it much better than I could have. Snake, rocket's advice is 100% spot on.
Old 12-14-15, 10:13 AM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by Hokeyboy View Post
There I was, so happy with my life.

Tonight, at 9:10 PM EST, I had to send my little baby girl to heaven. I have no biological children, but Austen was with me since August 1997.

My baby girl. Daddy fucking loves you
So sorry about this Hokey. Sounds like you get her a great life. That unspoken bond is tough to be without. But you'll see her again..
Old 12-14-15, 10:22 AM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by hanshotfirst1138 View Post
I don't know, sometimes I think that the opposite might have a certain appeal. A filmmaker, for instance, who gets up in the morning may work an 18 hour day, but he fucking loves what he does. Every day, he gets up, he has a vision, and he's going to make it happen. He's creating something bigger than himself, something that might have aesthetic value, something that might even outlive him. He gets up every morning knowing that he'll get to something that gives him a natural high, something he fucking loves. Sometimes, I think that might be the ultimate drug. It's beyond me to imagine anyone who loves what he does so much that it's all he can imagine doing and would be willing to do it for free. That sounds like fulfillment to me. Imagine getting up to do something because you want to instead of because you have to. Or even better, getting up to do something because you feel like you have to, like its part of you, like it's all you know and you do need to do it. I can't imagine that.
That's fine, and it works great for some people. I just disagree with anyone who says that finding a job you love is the path to contentment. Unfortunately, what you described above is the exception.

And in response to your other comments hanshotfirst, all I can say without knowing much about you other than what you post here, is get the f out of your parents' house. I can kind of see some of myself in your comments and it just seems like you're paralyzed with the fear of the unknown. Do you have any specific goals? Is there a plan to get out of your parents' house or into a better job situation? Because I can tell you from experience that just being complacent and hoping that at some point "real life" will start and everything will fall into place is a death sentence. Seriously, now is the time. Even if you don't have a clue as to where it all might lead, just get out there in the world and doors are bound to start opening. As happy and as content as I am in my current situation, I'd give anything to be able to do my 20's over again when all I had was time and nothing tying me down.
Old 12-14-15, 10:35 AM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Bangs chicks. Get's depressed. That DVDTalk life.
Old 12-14-15, 10:16 PM
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Originally Posted by rocket1312 View Post
That's fine, and it works great for some people. I just disagree with anyone who says that finding a job you love is the path to contentment. Unfortunately, what you described above is the exception.
Finding a way to do what you love AND get paid for it sounds like mega wish-fulfillment to me. Some people can do it, but I think most just have to settle for a compromise of some kind.

And in response to your other comments hanshotfirst, all I can say without knowing much about you other than what you post here, is get the f out of your parents' house.
Part of me secretly wished they'd kick me out.

I can kind of see some of myself in your comments and it just seems like you're paralyzed with the fear of the unknown.
I've a tendency to screw up even small changes.

Do you have any specific goals?
To get to the end of each work day.

Is there a plan to get out of your parents' house or into a better job situation?
No.

Because I can tell you from experience that just being complacent and hoping that at some point "real life" will start and everything will fall into place is a death sentence.
That's slalom starting to dawn on me. But then, I suppose if I tell the truth, it's not fair of my to be angry for my life not turning out the way I expected when I never really had many expectations.

Seriously, now is the time. Even if you don't have a clue as to where it all might lead, just get out there in the world and doors are bound to start opening.
And if I screw up and wind up back at their house as is most likely? Imagining where to start looking would be a better start. If I'm honest with myself, it's a classic "devil you know" scenario. Miserable I may, but comfortably. And that's probably he worst thing about the whole situation.

As happy and as content as I am in my current situation, I'd give anything to be able to do my 20's over again when all I had was time and nothing tying me down.
Way, way, way, way, way, way, way too late for me to do that. I can try to salvage at this point though.
Old 12-14-15, 11:13 PM
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Re: Are you happy with your life?

Originally Posted by van der graaf View Post
Originally Posted by fumanstan View Post
Fuck that shit!
Ah, tits up ... Fuck that fucking shitfaced mother fucking bullshit crappy ass son of a whore monger who came up with that cocksucking lame ass ... Wait ... Yes, that is right.
Old 12-15-15, 08:26 AM
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Crazy pig-fucking dumbass pussy piece of shit.

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