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-   -   Are you happy with your life? (https://forum.dvdtalk.com/other-talk/629861-you-happy-your-life.html)

Tracer Bullet 12-07-15 12:41 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by nando820 (Post 12664329)
^people in the Northwest are Cold as Ice

More so in Seattle than Portland. ;)

Whiskey Warfield 12-07-15 01:00 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by nando820 (Post 12664329)
^people in the Northwest are Cold as Ice

But the Southern girls, with the way they talk, keep their boyfriends warm at night.

printerati 12-07-15 01:08 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Screwadu (Post 12664366)
But the Southern girls, with the way they talk, keep their boyfriends warm at night.

Yeah, that won't help Tracer.

candyrocket786 12-07-15 01:54 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by General Zod (Post 12664222)
I feel fortunate and happy with where I am. As things stand today I couldn't ask for more. I have a good job, a great marriage, and a wonderful house in a beautiful neighborhood. Our son is trying to become a pilot and he's moved away and I wish things were going better for him but we've got his back and he's doing OK. I'm very aggressive about achieving goals and he is not.. so I just get frustrated when he says he's not getting where he wants to be because I know his effort level is low.

All I can say is I've had some low times. Learn from them and use them to make yourself better. Try not to step on people on the way up and instead work with them and move up together. Don't burn bridges no matter how much you may want to.

Words to live by right there.

DJariya 12-07-15 01:54 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by hanshotfirst1138 (Post 12663991)
No, but I don't have much right to complain considering that I never make any effort to change it. What's wrong in my life right now is my own damn fault.

Sounds to me like your extremely unmotivated. You've mentioned how miserable you are in previous threads. Unless you're too scared to take a chance for change, you're going to be stuck in your dead end retail job in your small town with no hope for betterment.

For starters, is it not feasible for you to get the hell out of your town and move to a bigger city with more opportunities? Would you be too scared to move to LA for example? What did you go to college for? Rather than coming here every now and then pitying yourself, why not make the effort? If you don't take a risk, you'll never know. No rewards without risk.

RichC2 12-07-15 02:04 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
I've been in that boat many times, the worst is that nothing interests or keeps you interested.

I got a dog, for no real reason, it has helped a lot. But then I've also done the "pack up and move somewhere far away" thing a few times too (for jobs) which, at the very least, was a good distraction.

DJariya 12-07-15 02:18 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by RichC2 (Post 12664439)
I've been in that boat many times, the worst is that nothing interests or keeps you interested.

I got a dog, for no real reason, it has helped a lot. But then I've also done the "pack up and move somewhere far away" thing a few times too (for jobs) which, at the very least, was a good distraction.

When I went to college, I started as a Pre-Business major. Quickly realized, I don't like accounting and I don't like working with numbers and I don't read the Business section of the paper. It seemed like the safe way to go. I also don't like math or science either.

I know not everyone is in a position to pursue a hobby as a career, but I said to myself that I like sports and television, and that's what I thought I would be good at. So I quickly changed my major to TV/Film and pursued it as a career. Made many phone calls, sent out blind resumes and got my 1st internship with FOX Sports when they were starting out back in 1996 and got hired as staff 1 month after college. My career is already approaching 20 years. It hasn't been easy and believe me I've had my fair share of problems along the way, but I took a chance and it paid off. I've met many great people over the years and that is also one of the factors that has kept me in this business so long. Again, I know not everyone can do this, but I pursued something I enjoyed and was passionate about.

RichC2 12-07-15 02:20 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
The thing about it is finding that thing that you're passionate about. That's tough when literally nothing seems to interest you anymore

Regardless, that's an awesome story of trying and succeeding right there :up:

EddieMoney 12-07-15 02:34 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
Only thing that interests me anymore is DVDs. I come here and everyone is posting about Blu-Rays and 4K video.

It's depressing.

Hiro11 12-07-15 03:13 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
Some of the stories here have genuinely affected me. I hope some of you can continue to find the strength in yourselves and those you're connected with the get through the day.

Speaking for myself, shit's tight.

d2cheer 12-07-15 03:37 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
Joining the National Guard at 25 probably saved me from a miserable life it gave me the much needed discipline that I needed and kick in the ass to do something with my life. The only regret I have is not staying in full time. I would be retired...

Snake the military is not for everyone but it really can help you find yourself.

nando820 12-07-15 03:39 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
hey Snake, weren't you in film school before. Can you do something with that even as a hobby? I never been in film school but i used to do a lot of video editing back in the day, just recently been trying to get back to it, editing some music videos just for fun

Spoiler:


this is a video I edited with footage from Youtube
for a song i made... :blush:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ig_NERVeVG0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

General Zod 12-07-15 03:55 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Hiro11 (Post 12664494)
Speaking for myself, shit's tight.

I'm glad everyone is being so open about their problems. Concerning this one try a laxative.

William Fuld 12-07-15 08:57 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
I have a great, happy life and knowing Snake is miserable is just the cherry on top.

PatD 12-07-15 10:08 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Tracer Bullet (Post 12664313)
establishing a new social circle as a single mid-30s man is pretty damn hard. .

Man, isn't that the truth. I don't get it. But, as far as I can figure--at least around the Pacific Northwest--you have to have to be on a socio-economic tier for certain groups to give you the time of day. Then again, I have a massive persecution complex...

wearetheborg 12-07-15 10:15 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Sonny Corinthos (Post 12664106)
At 35, I met the love of my life and have been happy ever since. People didn't give us a chance because of our age difference. I was 36 and she was 19 when we were married.

How did you two meet?

van der graaf 12-07-15 10:21 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
I posted this in the thread of the year thread a few days ago. Sadly, it keeps coming true. :sad:


The fact that EM is so handily winning really makes me suspect Otter is just becoming a full-blown men's support club.

wearetheborg 12-07-15 10:30 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Why So Blu? (Post 12664197)
Granted, I make really good money for what I do and the time that it takes doing it but it's nothing fancy - although it is fulfilling.


What job do you have Blu?

zero 12-07-15 10:41 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
For a very long time I wasn't happy. Months ago I finally looked in the mirror and admitted to myself that I wasn't happy. I couldn't really put my finger on why, I just felt like something was missing from my life. It kept bugging me, this nagging sensation in my gut that there is something I'm ignoring. I got into a discussion with an artist I follow on twitter about these feelings, and that started because he joked about working at home in his pjs, and I said that I wanted that for myself. I emailed him and I just broke down. I had no idea what he would say or if he would reply, but he did and he said (from his own personal experience) that the "nagging" in my gut was me. That deep down I know I could be and should be doing better for myself. So I took the time to email a good friend about what I've been experiencing. My friend (Joe) wanted to start a website with me, where I would review things like movies, games, etc. But I was always so stressed over what people would think about my opinion, as among my friends I am that guy who "likes everything." He shared with me his own fears, but despite that he keeps writing screen plays, and actively seeking work in that field. I personally hate anything I put on paper and I even cringe a little when friends say they enjoy my random social media reviews of movies. Since that breakthrough I have felt a little more at peace with myself. Beginning in January I am going to actively start finding a way to move back to Southern Cali. Being here in Northern Cali I lost my dad to cancer, I have no steady friends, but I do have a roof over my head and a full time job, which is far better than where I was two years ago. But if I want to really make the things I'm passionate about worth a damn, I need to be home in SoCA. So while I'm not thrilled about where my life is right this second, I am pretty excited about where it's going.

JasonF 12-07-15 10:53 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
Hey, Snake -- not sure if you saw it or remember it, but I want to point you to the thread I posted last year when I was going through something similar:

http://forum.dvdtalk.com/other-talk/...epression.html

There was lots of good advice and discussion in that thread.

I would strongly recommend therapy -- it can really help to talk to someone who is both impartial and trained in dealing with shit like this.

For me, another thing that helped was learning to be what the Buddhists call "mindful" -- basically (and I'm sure a practicing Buddhist would find this definition wrong, but it works for me) learning to appreciate the moment and not get hung up on preconceptions of what I want the moment to be. That allowed me to find happiness because I stopped worrying about what my life "should be" and started figuring out how to appreciate what my life actually is.

Feel free to shoot me a PM if you want to talk.

Kurt D 12-07-15 11:30 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by JasonF (Post 12664865)
I stopped worrying about what my life "should be" and started figuring out how to appreciate what my life actually is.

When called upon, Otters can be pretty wise. The above is rock solid advice, and I'm gonna take it.

Keep on keepin' on, Snake, you fucker ... I know you have the strength to break through your barriers.

Why So Blu? 12-08-15 01:37 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by wearetheborg (Post 12664835)
What job do you have Blu?


Librarian.

Artman 12-08-15 01:53 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
Thanks for sharing SS.

Just turned 36, and I do have a lot to be thankful for - health, family close by, work that I truly enjoy, a few true friends - that's all you can ask for right? But I'm still pretty lonely...never actually have had a girlfriend, never taken anyone over to my parents for dinner or the holidays. I feel like a disappointment, at least in that category. I know I'd be a good husband and father... but for some reason I just haven't found anyone that felt the same yet.

I'm happy for my married friends.. but the reality is we don't get together very often. I've become a regular at the bars across the street. I don't want to be that guy...

wearetheborg 12-08-15 07:01 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Why So Blu? (Post 12664932)
Librarian.

I would never have guessed in a million years that you work with books!

Vibiana 12-08-15 07:17 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by William Fuld (Post 12664750)
I have a great, happy life and knowing Snake is miserable is just the cherry on top.

Okay, this made me laugh so fucking hard I almost choked. :lol:

james2025a 12-08-15 07:26 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
I consider myself to be in pretty good place at this moment in time. But life has is ups and downs and the waves are never always calm for everyone. I losr my Father in 2011 to Cancer and that was a shocker as he was always super healthy and a professional body builder and weight lifter for most of his life. When he died it seemed to be a catalyst for my mothers early signs of Alzheimers. I thought that my Father dying would bring my sisters and i closer together, but it actually feels like we are drifting further apart. I guess living so far from them makes it harder on all of us.

But i got married last year and have a step daughter. It was not the easiest of starts to a married life as i had a couple of months where i was feeling very down due to most thing, but i try to always hide this and i am pretty good at talking to myself about issues and figuring them out. I am always trying to be optimistic with my outlook. I bought a house this year which was a huge step, but after a lot of work thats turned out to be a fantastic move. My relationship with my wife is very strong and i am happy with our choice. I work in a University Hospital and am involved in a number of different medical studies. It keeps me interested and busy and the money is pretty good....for the moment. I had some training in Washington over the summer and it was a boost to my confidence that people there were telling me to move as i would be in demand in those kind of places.

Life is pretty good for me. I do not try and compare my life to other peoples and one thing a lot of people in PR do is exactly that. Keeping up with neighbors is a big thing and i think its the reason so many are up to their eyeballs in debt here.

Why So Blu? 12-08-15 09:30 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by wearetheborg (Post 12664982)
I would never have guessed in a million years that you work with books!

Yeah, well fuck you, too!

;)

jfoobar 12-08-15 10:06 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
Yes, generally, largely owing to have gotten divorced and re-married to the right woman this time.

I still love my ex-wife and I probably always will, but she was the "safe" choice and she was someone who didn't challenge me at all. She and I basically had many of the same personality flaws as I did, so we reinforced them in one another. I was very content at first (nice house, decent job, couple of great dogs, all the trappings of suburban contentment) but we turned into strangers over time. When I started to realize that my job was the most satisfactory part of my life and that I was heading towards a deathbed on which I would be very regretful of all the things I hadn't seen or done, I started to change. Alas, ultimately, she was unwilling to come on this new journey with me (not faulting her, just the way it was) and our marriage ultimately ended.

Trevor 12-08-15 12:52 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
I think working in an emergency room since I was 19 has helped me to deal with mortality and to stay happy no matter what the circumstances. Life can end at any second, so I have three rules.
  1. Enjoy every second, no matter the circumstances.
  2. Nobody I love is guaranteed to be alive tomorrow, so while I may miss them terribly, I'm not going to base my happiness on others.
  3. Be nice to everyone, but don't let them base their happiness on me.

Solid Snake 12-08-15 01:06 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by William Fuld (Post 12664750)
I have a great, happy life and knowing Snake is miserable is just the cherry on top.

https://media.giphy.com/media/rK1lqPZTE7Gda/giphy.gif

:lol:


Originally Posted by Why So Blu? (Post 12664932)
Librarian.

Fuck me in the asshole. I...... Yeah. I don't see it.

Lt Ripley 12-08-15 01:24 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Why So Blu? (Post 12664932)
Librarian.

"I ain't a player, I just read a lot."

A-aron 12-08-15 01:26 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
I'm content, but not happy. Love my life isn't the one I'm married to. I try to put her out of my mind, but it doesn't work - something always comes up that reminds me. The few friends that I have constantly remind me of why the current wife is the wrong one (mainly for how she doesn't really want me to have "unapproved" friends). I have to sneak conversations with many in order to avoid having the wife go off on them (again).

Travel for work has picked up - which she hates - but it allows me to have the time I need to talk to people, write, etc. that make me feel better. But I know I have to return home eventually to reality.

mrhan 12-08-15 01:40 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by A-aron (Post 12665420)
I'm content, but not happy. Love my life isn't the one I'm married to. I try to put her out of my mind, but it doesn't work - something always comes up that reminds me. The few friends that I have constantly remind me of why the current wife is the wrong one (mainly for how she doesn't really want me to have "unapproved" friends). I have to sneak conversations with many in order to avoid having the wife go off on them (again).

Travel for work has picked up - which she hates - but it allows me to have the time I need to talk to people, write, etc. that make me feel better. But I know I have to return home eventually to reality.

You seriously should consider counseling and/or move on. This is going to eventually drive you insane. One day your going to wake up and your going to be old and regretting shit.

jfoobar 12-08-15 02:05 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by mrhan (Post 12665439)
You seriously should consider counseling and/or move on. This is going to eventually drive you insane. One day your going to wake up and your going to be old and regretting shit.

I tend to agree. I went through about three years of being increasingly unhappy with my marriage and when my efforts (which were probably not substantial enough, in retrospect) to correct the course were rebuffed, I made the decision to end it. Her "come to Jesus" moment wasn't until the very end, when my mind was already set on moving on and could no longer fathom the idea of saving it.

Do something substantial now. I am a much happier man now, but I also do feel guilt at not doing more to save my first marriage before it was too late.

Nth Power 12-08-15 02:21 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Why So Blu? (Post 12664932)
Librarian.

Awesome!

http://i.imgur.com/0DuyMHAl.jpg

Why So Blu? 12-08-15 02:21 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Lt Ripley (Post 12665419)
"I ain't a player, I just read a lot."



"I'm glad I brought my library card cuz I'm checking you out!"


#pimpingainteasybutitsnecessary

Lt Ripley 12-08-15 02:25 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
:lol:

fumanstan 12-08-15 02:43 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by A-aron (Post 12665420)
I'm content, but not happy. Love my life isn't the one I'm married to. I try to put her out of my mind, but it doesn't work - something always comes up that reminds me. The few friends that I have constantly remind me of why the current wife is the wrong one (mainly for how she doesn't really want me to have "unapproved" friends). I have to sneak conversations with many in order to avoid having the wife go off on them (again).

Travel for work has picked up - which she hates - but it allows me to have the time I need to talk to people, write, etc. that make me feel better. But I know I have to return home eventually to reality.

Wow, that sounds terrible - unless of course your friends are really bad people and drug dealers or something.

A-aron 12-08-15 02:46 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by mrhan (Post 12665439)
You seriously should consider counseling and/or move on. This is going to eventually drive you insane. One day your going to wake up and your going to be old and regretting shit.

we did counseling ... first I went alone (which was nice being able to speak my mind) - but stopped once the counselor started pushing Jesus. I'm not kidding - after the 3rd session she said that she felt I needed to make friends, but that if I made them through Christ my wife would be more accepting. I got up, walked out, and never went back.

We tried couples counseling, but she stopped once the counselor seemed to take my side (at least agreeing that her demands of friend "approval" were unfair and over the line). it felt good to have someone see/understand what I had issues with.

For now, I just don't associate with anyone (and there is clearly a bit of a grudge I hold for how she went off on a friend - just because it was a female). To this day I still feel like I can't really trust her - so now a lot of things are done in hiding.

Ky-Fi 12-08-15 02:46 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
Definitely liked my 30s better than my 40s.

30s: Working in the back office of a smalltown bank. Not a great salary, but some disposable income. Awesome pet cat Simba. Went to grad school at Tufts, did great, got a degree in History/Museum Studies. Took up fencing, started competing. Studied Chinese martial arts with a world-class teacher (not that I was a world-class student). Japanese girlfriend I wanted to marry. Bought a small condo in a quaint seaside town. Focused on my solo music in spare time, released my first album on iTunes. Things are looking good, baby!

40s: Still working in smalltown bank. Economy crashes, lose 30% of value of home. No raises for 5 years. Japanese girlfriend didn't work out. Living expenses increase dramatically, as does debt. Can't afford to leave current job for lower-paying museum job. Can rarely afford fencing or martial arts. Some good reviews of my music, but NO money to be made. Cat dies. 8 or 9 aunts and uncles pass away in about 5 years. Parents aging, Dad not in greatest health.

On the plus side, I have a great circle of 4 or 5 old, loyal, supportive friends, and have no major health issues, and I like where I live. Still, not where I thought I'd be at this point. :lol:


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